Happy Veterans Day

Thank you for your service & continued service fighting for our country & people — Young and old alike. 

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365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 70

11.11.18

When was the last time you did something spontaneous and how did it make you feel?

  • It has been a couple of years back & at the time it made be both nervous and excited. It involved traveling, staying in a hotel and venturing a big city on my own for a whole weekend. My reason was because I wanted to test myself and anxiety and do something on my own to help pull me out of my comfort level. Since then, I haven’t done anything that I would render spontaneous but there have been times I have wanted to, and there will be a time I do something like this again, I am sure of it.

How many of you have ever done something spontaneous, when was the last time, is this something you make a habit for yourself? Express your feelings in the comments, and don’t forget to follow, share and like! 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 69

11.10.18

Are you a confident person or do you find yourself doubting your abilities?

  •  I am a little bit of both. I am confident but at the same time I find myself doubting myself and what I am capable of due to fear; fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown. Many times I start off confident but then my mind/thoughts get the best of me and I start second guessing myself. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 68

11.09.18

Are you a leader or a follower?

  • A leader. Although when someone stands for something that I agree with, that would make me a follower. I think that would mean most people are followers? not because they can’t think for themselves but because we tend to have role models or those who we look up to or agree with and want to follow suit. This is just my perspective. 

RIP To All Those Who lost their lives

I just want to take the time to say how sorry I am for all those currently struggling with the loss of their loved ones during the last night’s shooting in California at Borderline Bar and Grill. This world is chaos, and it has become a “normal” thing for these mass shootings, soft shooting to take place anywhere and everywhere. That’s sad, pathetic and scary. I was on twitter today and reading the masses of tweets and one in particular stood out to me (I dont have cable any longer, so I feel am always last to know things unless posted on FB or instagram or a friend should tell me) and did you guys know that this shooting marked 304th mass shooting of 2018 thus far. It blows my mind more and more when I think about it because we used to grow up in this mentality that “my neighborhood is safe, this town has hardly any crime, this could never happen here to me, what are the chances of it happening here, and the most crimes we have are small.. ” well guess what America? NEWS FLASH! but safe is relative & there is no safe zone, nobody is safe from destruction besides the dead. Hell, growing up, I always thought this town was safe from all harm due to it being a pretty well established area with very little crime but now, we have drug overdoses every week, we have had people killed from gunshots and stabbings and we have car break ins, etc.. and guess what? that’s not nearly half of what goes on here that the crooked system tries to hide, regardless, crime can happen everywhere and no state, city, county is safe from a mass shooting erupting — people don’t give a fuck! I hate to say it, but people who want to harm others; on a mission to make hell for someone else isn’t going to discriminate where it takes place, if they have the tools and the way in, they will take it & we need not forget that aspect. 

Our country has been talking about “gun control” since the Pulse shooting and yet there has not been a solution in place, not enough action being taken and too much conversation that prolongs the process before another shooting happens. We say gun control, we say we need to not continue to make mass shootings a normal happening, we say we need to band together and come up with a solution, we say we need to change the laws, we say we need to ban certain people from obtaining weapons, etc, but what haven’t we done? we haven’t done enough.. we are discussing the same policies, the same written documents, the same agendas we were discussing back when things started and now we are doing the same thing , and this is giving perps more time to plan the next chaotic attack because we aren’t taking enough action. I am scared for our country and the future, scared for my family and friends, scared for myself and people who I don’t even know — innocent people’s lives.. I am scared because no matter what we decide, people aren’t going to wait for us to take action, they will continue to do these shootings because they can and will. When we finally take some sort of action, it probably still won’t be enough because the internet makes things easily accessible & we live in sick, cruel world where all it takes is a click of a button, power and or money and BOOM!

I was reading a post on twitter on how we are blaming these shootings on mental health problems/disorders and conditions but how dare we use this as a scapegoat each time someone decides to become radical and do a mass shooting. I couldn’t agree more with the person who stated it, because hell, I suffer from mental health disorders but I am not out here shooting up buildings, blowing up people and taking innocent lives — and while I know mental health is running rapid & many times people can’t afford medication, don’t know they suffer from something or can’t afford to get help they need, it doesn’t mean all of us with mental health disorders are taking it upon ourselves to kill people. I am more than aware that some have severe cases of mental health issues and can cause harm to themselves and others but I don’t believe we should continue using mental health as a scapegoat because I believe it fuels the stigma already placed on people who suffer from mental health disorders/conditions. If mental health is an issue (which it is when people can’t afford or have the help they seek or need) then lets come up with something to help those in need — but if every time we assumed someone who killed someone has a mental health disorder, it would be bullshit because there are so many people in their right mind who just are evil people doing these things, it doesn’t always come down to them having a mental health disorder, sometimes they are just malicious people with bad intents. Two things:

  1. We need to focus on the fact that NOT every person who goes out and does a senseless act has a mental health disorder, fact is, people can be evil and do crimes like this, it doesn’t mean they have PTSD or anxiety or anything else, it could just mean, they are evil and have bad intentions. 
  2.  If we want to keep blaming mental health for reasons why people go out and kill people and commit mass shootings, then find a way to help people or make it possible for people to afford health care, prescriptions, therapy sessions, etc and create a better reform so people understand the different types of mental health disorders & instead of justifying the shootings with this person suffered with a mental health disorder .. how about we take action on gun control & have a better judicial system that hands out consequences instead of slapping people on the wrist to stay moral. 

I agree with this person who quoted:Mental illnesses didn’t shoot & kill 12 people in last night. A man with a gun did. Im sick of people using mental illness as a scapegoat, which further stigmatizes those of us that struggle with it. It’s lazy & dishonest” -Khary Penebaker, Fx .

Again, I am sorry for all those that lost someone due to the shooting, I pray in time you heal and find it in your heart to continue living your best life. ❤ 

P.S I am all for conceal to carry, I believe protecting ourselves is the best method these days; especially in having to defend yourself and family/friends. Take away people’s right to protect themselves, we are left defenseless and people who can’t fend for themselves are usually left to die without being able to put up a fight. However,  I do believe we can come up with a solid solution that doesn’t take away people’s rights to defend themselves but makes it harder for those who shouldn’t have gun to obtain one, but even so, the internet is easy and accessible and people will always find a way. Sadly.

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 67

11.08.18

Do you cope well when faced with challenges?

  • I think coping takes me longer than others & I think I have gotten better at finding various ways to cope with certain challenges, but I still find that the process takes longer for me. 

Pre-workout can’t touch this

When your tired, you’re tired

Today I was exhausted, beyond exhausted, I mean I should be, I work third shift and then come straight to the gym and during the day get maybe 4-5 hours of sleep and sometimes I work both jobs, personal training during the day and at night the second job. It can be a lot on my shoulders and very exhausting and yet I still manage to make it to the gym each morning — but even after making it, sometimes it isn’t enough to get my energy levels higher, I just try, try, try until I realize I need to go home and get some sleep. Trying is better than nothing, but trying barely meets expectations if at all. Yet, I made today a short workout — very short workout in hopes it would make working out today easier but not so much because I still barely finished and the only way I finished was crossing off one workout and doing one less set of two workouts. Blah, what gives? I need to prioritize my sleep schedule and do a better job with taking care of my body overall. 

If this has ever been your struggle, then you know exactly how I feel. 

Warm up:

  • resistance band abduction: 4 x 25, red band
  • resistance band clamshell: 4 x 25, red band
  • foam roller — quads and hammies

Workout:

  • Sumo deadlift: 3 x 260 lbs, 2 x 270 lbs
  • Barbell back squat: 3 x 200 lbs, 2 x 210 lbs
  • Power cleans: 6 x 5 
  • barbell box squats: 6 x 3-5, 205 lbs