Friendly letter

“Begin to walk,  find your mark, then run as fast as you can”

smile

Dear Alexa,

I have chosen to keep your picture and last name invisible to the eye because I want to protect you from potential “negative people” who might find some sort of way of contacting you; not to mention you are a close friend of mine and I respect your privacy (Although I did get permission from her to use whatever I wanted).  Today I decided to write this post dedicated to you because you had many questions and concerns and not to mention seemed like you were “lost” and used words that made me feel like you want to start “now” on your healthy journey but for whatever reason you decided you weren’t ready yet.  

Her problem: (along with other people’s)

This all started when you decided to text message me asking “Shay are you going to the gym today, lol”, I was somewhat shocked but I had knew you knew that i attend the gym at least 4 days a week.  When I had replied with “no, I went my 4 days and I take my breaks on friday, saturday and sundays or i’ll go every other friday” I almost regretted saying it because I didn’t want you to think It meant I wouldn’t have gone with you.  After asking if you were going to go today, you responded with “lol, I’m not going today. I doubt it.  I’m too lazy for it!”, I was quite taken back because just yesterday I had made a post talking about motivation.  The problem wasn’t that you didn’t want to go today, the problem was when you said “I do need to go , but for today I’d rather eat unhealthy, lmao”.  I thought to myself why would she choose to continue eating unhealthy if she knows she wants to be healthier.  Quite frankly, I am happy you decided to group message myself with others included because I got some background knowledge from you and the other two friends as to why you choose to keep eating unhealthy and avoiding the gym. 

Mind you my friend Alexa isn’t necessarily overweight that I know of and she was a gymnist back in the day, she is still young (21 years of age) and works a pretty demanding job like myself.  She clearly has no excuse for her choices but she clearly also lacks the motivation needed to get started.  Her reasoning for why she feels the way she feels about avoiding the gym is “I get times in my life when I really want to look good then other times I feel like I don’t care and I just want to eat! lmao, waiting for the day I feel like I want to look good again!!hahaha” .  Continuing on from here, she says “Yeah, I love being healthy, I always feel soo much better when I’m healthy but it’s still hard bc I’m a fat kid and love carbs!”.  Take note of all of this as I will have answers and questions in other paragraphs. Another friend of ours adds “I want to be healthy but I crave sugar, fat and all that”.  This is a normal statement, because again people do get cravings and we will talk about this in a later post more in depth.  Alexa then states “I don’t like chocolate very much, I don’t crave sweets very often. My biggest downfall is carbs (chips, bread, pasta).  The other friend responds with “I enjoy eating healthy, I don’t have the motivation to continue to eat healthy because it’s easier to just get fattening food and it’s harder to make the safer decisions that’s why I struggle”.

Alexa: “True that, its really hard to work here and eat healthy as well, So easy to order pizza or pack some junk food”

Alexa: “Yeah it’s just hard!!! Honestly I think it’s one of the hardest things to do in life.. is to eat healthy and stay fit”  So I told them to both read my motivation blog I posted and asked Alexa what it means to her to be “fit”.  She responds with “Fit to me is healthy and fit to me is not just dieting either but also working out.  I like to be physically in shape as well as eating healthy.  Muscle tone, high cardio. All of it.  It’s hard for me to do one or the other.  If I am eating healthy I will def be in the gym too, and when i’m in the gym I’ll also be eating healthy. I can’t just do one, it’s like eating healthy inspires me to go to the gym and going to the gym help me “want” to eat healthy and make healthier choices!”.

My solution letter to you Alexa: 

Dear Alexa,

My dear friend, I realize you are having some sort of a battle with what you want but don’t seem to want to start now because you don’t have the motivation or the right mindset. You seem to clearly be in a rough patch internally with yourself, where you have these standards set so high of yourself but you don’t think you can manage them.  You know what you need to do, and how to get where you want to be, but you don’t know how to start or when. Yet, you seem so dead set on wanting to be this “new and improved health nut who can strive for the fit body”  by all means I support your goals and wish you the best on getting there but I’ll just give you some healthy advice before getting started so that results show in a timely manner and you don’t stress yourself out. 

  1. Read my blog on “motivation” & maybe read some books that give you some motivation and talk to people who want to get to the same place as you. 
  2. Ask yourself why you want muscle tone, want to be cardio fit and want to eat healthy
  3. Ask yourself if your definition of being “fit” is realistic and if it is, make bullet point on specifics that you want to see “fit” about yourself.
  4. Ask yourself what eating healthy means; make a list of foods, of recipes, of diets, of whatever comes to mind when you say you want to eat healthier
  5. Ask yourself why you haven’t gone to the gym, what is keeping you from going on a day off & how can you change that
  6. If you don’t want to attend a gym, then why not workout at home.. the gym isn’t the only place to exercise
  7. Write down  how you feel mentally; stresses, moods, anything good or bad that is on your mind
  8. Surround yourself with positive people who will cheer you on and challenge you to make the change you want to make 
  9. Stop making excuses for yourself.
  10. Find your safe haven and create a map that lays out where you are now in your journey and where you want to be (the end result); include obstacles and how you will get past them
  11. pack your lunch for work (no matter what you pack, just pack) this will be a step in the right direction, the first few weeks you may eat all junk food..but that’s okay for now until you take the steps to add variety..
  12. Keep in mind this will be a very slow process of change, and will take a lot out of you.. you will be risking and sacrificing so much but in the end you will feel so much better about your choices and won’t question your decision making. 
  13. Don’t quit cold turkey on ANYTHING food related, just take steps.. small steps. No rush
  14. Allow at least 6 months before you notice any results..(this is if you stick with it)
  15. Fall down like the rest of us have and get back up like a champ.. 
  16. Crawl before you walk
  17. Stop setting high expectations for yourself, that you can’t manage (you are only hurting your self esteem)
  18. Your body will follow your lifestyle (don’t aim for a certain body type, aim for a healthier body)
  19. Give your all, because 50% isn’t good enough
  20. Carbs AREN’T your problem.  Your problem was when you decided that carbs would be your downfall. You can eat carbs! ( moderation & variety, research your choices) 

Alexa, this post was not meant to call you out in a negative way, it was to give you insight and help you start.  You may still feel a bit overwhelmed but take one step at a time, not all at once.  Know that I am at your corner cheering you on ! you may feel alone, but you aren’t alone.. you have more than enough people who will see this post and will also cheer you on! I will continue to help you out and be your guide. 

Sincerely,

Your close friend Shay-lon

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