My Body became everyone’s problem video- dive into my past

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYBVn0f4KI8

Up above is the video

This video is me personally speaking on my past dealing with body image. I know I have given light previous to this video as to what all I had to go through, but I wanted to dive in a bit more and use a video so that I could speak on it personally with everyone. Forgive me, I look horrible in this video, but it was late in the evening. Some things I failed to mention in the video to save time was I had people make fun of my neck because they thought it was thick and odd looking, I had people make fun of the length of my arms, I had people make jokes about how I didn’t have a butt, I had people make fun of the fact my eyes were slanted. I guess you could say, it was all petty but it changed the outlook on myself and changed how I perceived myself in the mirror and in front of others. I know I am not perfect, and that is fine, but I still struggle sometimes with the concept of not being beautiful or not being pretty or not having what “she” has, I know I have come a long way but it tore a piece of me that I will never get back; my youth. I was unable to enjoy being a kid or teen because I was more worried about how I looked and what others thought of me, I was too preoccupied being a star athlete and trying to fit the mold others created.  I fucked up my whole mindset on what it meant to be “good enough”, I lost social confidence and struggle to even go out in public without feeling like something is physically wrong with my body. I work on myself each and everyday; it still remains a battle but a battle that can be won and a battle that will take more time before I am 100 percent confident with ALL OF ME. I don’t think people realize how many mask I have to wear just to make it through the day sometimes, how many times I tell myself “I look good”, “I am making progress” just so I don’t over examine my body, my face, my everything. When I am at the gym, I feel comfortable where I no longer need to wear a mask, I can come as I am not feel like I don’t fit in. Sure, people might still look at me, or think less of me, but I know everyone is there because they have their own journey and I just keep that in mind. I don’t want pity or anyone to feel bad for me, because I know people who have stories to tell, I just want people to know you are beautiful, handsome, pretty, cute, however you choose to look and no matter how someone else looks at you, all that matters is that you like what you see when you look in that mirror and you have accepted your flaws and continue to grow and make progress internally and externally if necessary. I am still working on acceptance, I have a long road ahead of me, but I am proud of how far I have come to love myself more, and I am proud of who I am becoming because it makes me smile.  I love my body because I am choosing to mold into my standards NOT anyone else’s. I might have my struggles, but my struggles disappear when I take the time to think of where I was and where I am now. ❤

Thanks for reading, I hope that all of you have enjoyed the video and feel free to share your stories me!

Your fitness blogger,

Shay-lon xx

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5 thoughts on “My Body became everyone’s problem video- dive into my past

    1. Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. It was not easy by any means, but felt compelled to share with everyone in hopes others would know they are not alone in their journey. God bless.
      Thankyou,
      Shay-lon

      Like

  1. I just loved the video because I feel like at some point everyone has gone through body image problems. I have had a lot of issues with my weight too because I used to be a little chubby growing up and in high school it really started to bother me and my relatives and other people were like pointing it out and it didn’t help at all. I started to get really conscious about my weight and it just tormented me that I wasn’t skinny enough. Eventually I did lose the extra weight but it still bothers me till now even though I know I’m not over weight anymore like I still can’t weigh myself because I’m so afraid of the number that will come up. And it’s not fair that society puts so much pressure on people to look a certain way because no matter what you look like people always find flaws.
    Anyway I really enjoyed your video because it made me feel a lot better that people have gone through something similar and have come out of it stronger. I think in the end you just need to stop listening to people and looking a certain way to please them and as long as you’re comfortable with what you look like it shouldn’t matter what others think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate the feedback and kind words. I notice how our situations differ but have the same outcome, that is what makes the journey beautiful because two people can have totally different situations (opposites) but end up with the same outcome and builds a bond. I don’t weight myself religious as I once have, but I sometimes think about it. Back when I was a kid, everyone wanted to be “skinny”; now people say fuck skinny, lets be plus size, then you have another group of people saying screw both, “if you don’t look like you belong at the crossfit games you probably aren’t attractive”. It is very sad indeed. People follow trends and whatever is “popular” or whatever makes headlines becomes people’s way of thinking. Sometimes I have to remind myself that isn’t about getting a 6 pack abs, or really big muscles, it is about my mental state and how this will make ME feel inside.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, it’s always nice to talk to someone who has been through something similar.Yes exactly, norms change all the time and before we know it people will forget about plus size and be into something else. I am so tired of the media dictating what “normal” should look like. Just because you don’t look a certain way does not mean there is something wrong with the way you look. You’re right it should be about what makes you feel healthy and happy not what other people want you to look like!

        Liked by 1 person

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