BEGREATGUYS Tips #8

USE Your Failures As Strengths 

If you are going to remind yourself of your failures, then make them into strengths. Might as well make them useful and to your benefit. I’d rather you remember the times you failed or gave up in order to push you than to forget about them; only to end up in the same position you are in now: struggling with trying again. We have all been unsuccessful at something (work, fitness, sports, etc) and regardless if it happened in front of many people or in your own privacy — it still sucked nonetheless. Out of anger and frustration, we try again, only to fail once more because instead of using the failure as willpower, we used it to fuel our negative mindset. I can’t promise the voyage will be easy, but I can tell you one thing: it will be useful. 

I am going to share some simple steps to follow so that when the time comes, you have the power to continue:

  1. Don’t do it with anger or malicious intent. In remembering your failures, it can be hard to think that maybe you aren’t great at something, but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better — if you try again in a relaxed, focused state, you will be better off.
  2. Don’t assume the worst before beginning. It’s easy to assume that if we failed once, we are bound to do it again BUT don’t get caught up with that; that leads to anger/frustration & you lose focus on what is important
  3. Have to be willing to accept either path. It isn’t guaranteed that if you try again you will prevail the second time round; you may fail again but the goal is to try again and get better each time. 
  4. Don’t be afraid to fail in front of others. Allowing your pride to get the best of you, will only hinder you. Failing at something in front of somebody doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger. Don’t be worried about what someone may think or say, just worry about producing results
  5. Change your vocabulary. Utilize words that push you: I can, I will, It’s possible, Keep trying , etc. Using negative words can lead to negative thoughts and not so great results. 

For every time I have given up on something, I have regretted it later on. You never know what you are truly capable of, until you have given it all that you have more than enough times to count — Shay-lon

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BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 
 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 


But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 


When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 


Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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BeGreatGuys Monday Motivation #6

“Do what you said you were going to do”

In other words, whatever it is you said you would do, that you have to do, that you want to do – DO IT!  

 

The problem is we get caught up on words, we say things but have a difficult time putting forth the action – for example: “I want to open my own gym”, that’s something someone wants to do, but the problem is, they aren’t doing anything about it and if they are doing something — they are running out of patience and not seeking the help they need to make that into an action; in turn, giving up or complaining. I realize owning a gym would be difficult for most people (expenses, responsibility, learning the business side of things, taking a risk, seeking employees, etc. BUT it is POSSIBLE. Maybe in the moment it seems like a fantasy that has a low percentage of happening but in the scheme of things, what is it that keeps you from trying anyways. If it is money, what can do you to raise enough money, hell better yet, what is a more affordable way to own a business until you are able to afford a big enough building or lot? I have known many companies to start small — and as soon as they start earning customers and revenue, they grow, they prosper. You go from selling products and training from your garage to now owning a huge gym that sits in a nice lot that serves thousands of people. It is POSSIBLE. 

 

The reason I made this post was not only to give you some motivation, but to give me some motivation, some insight on what I already know and to give me the boost of confidence to think outside of the box and not give up because something isn’t coming “easy” for me. I started a business recently, my OWN business, hell, it is very new and a huge risk for me, because I have very little information on how to go about it and to be honest, I haven’t put the amount of effort into it, that is necessary and that’s strike one against me. I want to put the effort into it and make it grand & here I am saying this but not providing any action — so all the while I am telling you to put forth action towards your goals; I need to do the same for myself, and not wait another day to do so, but do it NOW because it is POSSIBLE. 

 

Your goal can be as small as: “I need to visit my grandmother this week”, well if that is important to you, why haven’t you done it? why is work, school, relationships and traveling your excuse? when something is important to YOU, you will know how important it is, because you make time for it, you make an effort no matter the circumstances. If work and traveling is keeping you from visiting grandmother, than why not make that effort to call or message her? if  not having transportation is the issue, then why not use your resources? It’s not to make you feel guilty but to make you realize that the things we say we should do and need to do, can be done if we look at the time we have and spend it wisely and make time for things that we put off; make time for people that we put on hold, and make time for goals that we are passionate about. In a nutshell, I am the last person to tell you how to have ‘better time management’ because I feel as though I fail in that area in the recent years, however, I do know I don’t always spend my time wisely and I don’t always utilize my resources and sometimes I make excuses and put things off for “tomorrow” but while working out today at the gym, I came to think that I need to put myself on a schedule/routine when it comes to my life outside of the gym because otherwise I fail to do what is important & I make more excuses. Is this you?

 

We won’t be perfect. It will be challenging sometimes & we will get frustrated, possibly even overwhelmed with anxiety. That’s to be expected when you have goals and aspirations and passions in life — but the end result will be: a sense of accomplishment, a sense of progress, a sense of productivity and growth. All of those things will come if we DO WHAT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO DO. 

 

Hope you have enjoyed this read, if so, please feel free to follow, share and leave comments 😀

 

Twitter: ShayM_Fitness

Email: Shay.moss19@gmail.com

BEGREATGUYS Motivation Monday #6

HAPPY MONDAY!

Be Great!

Today’s motivation isn’t lengthy and doesn’t have a whole story attached to it, instead it’s simple. 

 

“Be Great, in other words, make the most out of your life” – Shay-lon 

BEGREATGUYS #5 — My exam story (Try Again)

I have learned many things, some of which made a difference in my life. One of which, is learning to “try again”, which for some is easy enough but for others like myself, “trying again” is scary and makes us overwhelmed, makes us anxious and gives us stress. Stress we don’t need nor want. I can tell you of many incidences where I wanted to try again but didn’t due to fear and not knowing, due to low self esteem and negative thinking and due to lack of courage. I grew up on “trying” and giving it my best; my mom always told me and my siblings this growing up — and even then it was easier said than done. Almost like now. Where trying something for a second or third time seems like a waste of time, especially when you don’t know how it will end. 

I learned REAL soon, that trying again can be the door that opens opportunity — All it takes is a positive mindset, belief in yourself and capabilities & your “why”  (in other words the reason that you NEED to try again, why is this important to you) because without a why, you lose focus and give up. This almost happened to me within this year. 

Just recently I got certified in Personal Training by ACSM (one of the hardest personal training exams right next to CSCS) and holds the “Gold standard” for the fitness industry because it was the FIRST certification and very few people pass this exam the first time let alone the second time. I graduated college May 2016 and took the exam for the first time December of 2016 and FAILED. Mind you it cost me 300 dollars to take it, and I didn’t have whole lot of financial stability at the time, so I knew it would take some saving up before I could afford it while also having to afford bills. I was very discouraged this first time (you can take it after 15 days with a discounted price) but at the time I could not afford to retake it, so I went a whole other year before re-taking it again. The first time I cried and got very upset. The second time, I had something new weighing on me, they were changing the cirriculum for this exam after this test date, so if I failed it this time, it meant having to buy new books & taking time to study the new material (expenses and time) so I retook the test Dec. 2017 and FAILED, again. Now I was very pissed off, I had cried at the gym when telling my boss/owner and sharing the news with a couple of gym members, it was like the world was falling on top of me and I couldn’t breath and didn’t know what to do, I started to think that maybe I was too dumb for this test — people gave me other names of personal training certs I could do: ACE, NASM, ISSA, etc but I didn’t want to do those, I wanted ACSM, it appealed to me because of the recognition it receives and how few people have passed. I wanted to pass it. 

In the meantime while my self esteem was low, I started looking into other cert options in case I wanted to give up on ACSM (and do know I did want to give up) because I even got ahold of NASM and talked with a rep about being interested in taking their exam and pricing and same with ACE. I even researched ISSA to see what it was about. When it was all said and done, I decided I would give ACSM a try ONCE more, because the material was new, I figured I’d rather study this new stuff then to spend more money with a whole other company/cert. Once again I was praying I could afford the new books/study aids — thankfully Amazon had it for decent price and because of using the trial period of Prime, I was able to have them shipped quickly to my house. I got my books and dug in, I decided to once again make note cards, but beforehand, read both textbooks while taking notes in a notebook then used the notes on the notecards and made over 100+ note cards to study from and used the ACSM pocket prep app. I was focused, UNTIL I wasn’t, I had set the date to February to retake the test but realized I wasn’t ready yet, so changed it to March but because I was too busy having fun on my birthday — I changed the date to April to give me more time to study (which I didn’t use my time to study very well) I got distracted by friends and wanting to hang out that I put my studies in second place & the times I could study I would have rather been able to go to bed early. I work two jobs so sleep is important to me. It wasn’t until a week before that I really dug into my notes and focused. I was overwhelmed but made it a priority to study because I didn’t want to keep rescheduling my exam. Long story short, I studies until midnight the night before and woke up bright and very, very early to eat breakfast, study and calm my nerves so I could come prepared with clarity. 

Walking into the testing center made me anxious but I was confident in myself and didn’t allow the nerves to take over my mind or fill me with negative thoughts. The test was 150 questions and I had to score 550 in order to pass. The test was HARD, very difficult but I could confidently say that I knew about 20 of the questions without pondering but the rest depended on memory, being able to answer practical questions and hoping that I can do a good job of guessing if I didn’t know the answer. Unlike the previous test, I went through all the flagged questions I had issues with and made sure I answered them to the best of my ability and even left 20 minutes on the clock before finishing the test because I took my time with this test, I wanted to do my best and give my best answers. 

I PASSED. I passed the test with a 557 score. I cried with a smile on my face and walked out that testing center not believing what just happened. I texted the first 5 people I wanted to share the news with and posted on Facebook the news. Everything was starting to make sense to me after this day, I didn’t give up. I could have very well not tried again but because I took the dive and TRIED AGAIN, I found out I could do it. I passed the exam and I am ever so blessed and happy with the results. Moral of the story, TRY AGAIN. 

“When you try something for the first time, you might find you aren’t the best at it, but doesn’t mean you can’t get better” – Shay-lon Moss

Shay-lon 

Check out my Instagram with the posted good news: ACSM cert

BeGreatGuys Post #4 — Being Average is Okay

Nowadays, people are striving to be the “best”, the best at sports, work, parenting, school, etc. It seems people steer themselves in the direction of competition in order to come out first, to be granted a reward, to be applauded, and to be remembered as someone with importance. In my opinion, the best thing to do is “be your best self” and that doesn’t mean winning at every sport or getting straight A’s in school; it means living life trying to have a good character, to stand up for what’s right when necessary, following your values/morals that correlate with who you are & choosing to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who don’t want to see you mentally exhausting yourself to be first place ALL THE TIME , but will also be there when you lose. 

 

Being average, doesn’t have to mean being complacent, or going through life with no aspirations — all that average means, is being okay with not being perfect in every aspect of your life and being okay with making mistakes, with losing a game, with getting a C on a test and studying hard next time to strive for that B+ & not weighing yourself down with comparisons to others, and obsessions of winning or being known by many. If all that attended your funeral were your family members and 3 close friends, would you be okay with that? or would you be the one to say, “nobody cares about me, only this many people attended” .. does the number that attends your funeral make a difference in how you feel about yourself? because if you think that having 100 people at your funeral is any better, try having 100 people at your funeral but only 5 of them actually care and have something they can share; memories, pictures, stories, and friendships — all the while the other 95 people attended just because they felt bad and didn’t want to be mean by not attending and didn’t even know who you really were (they liked you because you always won first place) but the second you lose first place, you lose those 95 people who you thought cared. 

 

Yes, strive for success and be great at things, excel in school and work. Compete in sports, be nominated for a prize for your efforts and continue to dream big — but don’t forget that being average doesn’t mean you suck, or that you can’t win, or that you are 2nd place loser. Being average is okay, because being average awards you the same gratification; you made progress, you did better and you might not have won every race or scored more points than your opponent but you tried and trying is way better than wishing you had. Being average doesn’t make you weak, fat or ugly, it means you are perfectly okay with being who you are because you love yourself and don’t need the audience to validate your worth; you don’t need a trophy, a fan club, a billboard in order to know you have a good character, you have flaws but don’t use them to weigh you down and that you put your effort into something you love- win or lose. You don’t need to know you are the best, to feel your best. 

 

I would know what being average is, because I am average and I love it all the same. 

 

“The best part about not winning all the time, is being able to lose and still walk away with a win; you kept the same attitude as you would have winning” -Shay-lon 

 
 

BEGREATGUYS, Inc post #3

Reward your hard work. 

 

BUT 

 

Don’t depend use your reward against you.

 

In a world where sometimes we need a little motivation and a great deal of discipline to accomplish our goals, we have to find the time to reward our hard work. Yes, I said “hard work” because no matter how long it took you to accomplish something — you still have to put in some form of effort to finish it. I once had someone tell me “I walked a mile today, it isn’t much but it felt good” & my reply to this person was, “walking a mile is a lot because you could have stopped half way, but you continued until you finished”. So no matter what you think is a lot or a little, if you finished it — then you achieved something great. 

 

Rewarding yourself doesn’t have to be something ‘out of this world expensive’ unless you want it to be and doesn’t have to be daily, you can make it a monthly thing or a yearly big event, or something small each week. Rewarding your hard work doesn’t have to be done alone either, share your good news with friends and family and allow them to be apart of your big day! How you choose to reward yourself can be a broad range of things: new running shoes, something new for the bike, weekend vacation with the family, spa day, new fitness clothes from your favorite store, new gym bag, upgraded gym equipment for the garage, etc. The reward is for you to choose and something that will make you happy for accomplishing what you accomplished and keep you motivated to continue doing well for yourself. 

 

On the other side of things, rewarding yourself can be a positive thing gone negative if you aren’t cautious of how you reward your results. Some people may find their reward system may diminish their results/prevent them from further progress. These types of rewards are only benefiting you at the time, but in the long run they ruin what you worked hard for and set you back a couple of notches if you aren’t careful. The type of rewards I am speaking on are: eating a cookie for every mile you accomplish in the day, going to Mcdonalds for dinner on the weekends for eating healthier options during the week, buying clothes that are a size or two smaller to work towards, buying a motorized scooter instead of taking your bike to work, etc. These things are all good rewards in the beginning but these same rewards will work against you in the long term if you aren’t careful. 

For example maybe you decide since you are making so much progress, you will start to buy clothes a size or two smaller so that you have something to work towards each week or month, and while this type of motivation & reward doesn’t sound like such a bad idea upfront, in the long term it can turn into a bad decision because you become obsessed with wanting to fit the clothes and when you don’t feel as though you are making fast enough progress or it becomes a game of “I have had these same pair of jeans for 5 years hoping I would be able to fit them again”; it can start to weigh down on you mentally. Same with wanting to reward yourself with food, in the beginning it might sound like a good idea because you have chosen to cut them out of your life otherwise, but in the long term it can turn into a habit that becomes the delay of your progress. I believe if you want to eat something, do it but paying mind to the amount of it and how it may or may not effect your results is important because you don’t want to work hard for something and then end up losing it all due to your reward system because that same reward system is what is keeping you going in the first place — what sense would it be to have made an accomplishment then throw it all away at the same time.

 

Along side a good reward system would be to have a purpose/ A “Why” so that when the reward system fails you, you can use your purpose to keep you going again — a good purpose/good why, is one that drives you, keeps you grounded and doesn’t leave you with doubt. Sometimes our why’s can take the place of our rewards because our why is the reward.

 

Thank you for reading, please take the time to leave comments, likes, share or reblog, and follow. 

 

This post was in honor of my sponsor #BEGREATGUYS 

check us out at https://begreatguys.com/ and find my personal page at https://begreatguys.com/shay-lon-moss

 

Be sure to use my promo code “Shay” for discounted prices on apparel 🙂