I don’t live my life to Appease you

Not anymore.

It is within our nature to want to be accepted by others, to want to “fit in” and feel like we can have a common place with someone else. We strive to be this person that people can say they like, talk highly about and want to be around on a more constant basis. It’s almost like we do things in order to prove we are worthy of these things, but what for? because popularity is a form of what we would consider “love”, and people like feeling loved — and cared for. It’s without a doubt, a great indicator of who we are and how we perceive ourselves because in the mist of wanting to be this “popular” buzz, we find out what sacrifices we had to make in order to appease the crowd & how those same sacrifices effect our character. Sometimes by being the “crowds favorite person” you find out that you had to sell your soul to the devil (metaphorically speaking) and once you decide to sell yourself short in order to gain a couple new friends, you don’t get to make another bargain. It’s a final sale & there are no refunds, you gave away yourself in order to buy a new face — you prided yourself for the amount of people who speak about you, but not everyone stays around long enough to meet the real you, when you finally have had a enough exhaustion for one day & need a break from it all, you have to remember it comes with a losing sacrifice, you lose out on the people you gained and you lost the ones who accepted you without change — but because of your greedy mind and wishful thinking, you have nobody at the end of this tunnel if you don’t stick with this mask that made you phenomenal. 

I created this writing as a piece to dedicate to myself & to those who have or once had lived to appease. They lived their lives constantly wanting someone to notice them, wanting to be their friend, wanting to be apart of something grand because for so long they weren’t happy with what they had, even if what they had was pure. Sometimes we want to strive for bigger & better but not always is this the best path, it can come with consequences if you don’t read the small bold print at the bottom of the contract and has its been known to change a person’s character and scar them. For we don’t get to choose who we meet, but if who we meet changes who we are for the worst, than maybe we need to reconsider how we go about letting people in. To appease someone else by changing yourself is like living a life with half truths. Not everyone was meant to like you, the true you, some will deem it “not good enough” ; but what isn’t good enough for them was good enough for those who stayed by your side no matter your flaws. If ONLY one person deemed you “good enough” , that one person is worthy of your love because that one person didn’t ask you to conform but instead asked you to be yourself in exchange for their true selves. We don’t have to unmask ourselves to see the face, we only have to question if who we really are, is the mask we put on everyday. Don’t live to appease, live to be loved and to be cared for 100 percent, live to be you, live to be true and never live to fit in because tears will flood the eyes who have reached their own demise. 

Shay-lon

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comment section & if you are a fan of these spoken verses, please feel free to share with your peers, like this page and follow my blog. 

Advertisements

Working out 7 days a week & no results

The thing I have realized about the fitness industry while working in it, is people have this ongoing thought in their mind that the more they workout the more results, the better the physique, the stronger they are and the less at risk of health issues they will be. 

BUT.. 

It never ceases to amaze me how many of those people won’t see any results, their physique won’t change and their health issues still arise or have yet to go away & if being strong is lifting 225 for the first year and then never seeing an increase the next year, then strong needs to be re-evaluated as well. The concept of working out everyday sounds like the one way of ticket of gains and being more in shape & seeing more results but if you want some honesty  — you aren’t going to see neither working out 7 days a week without any type of change or routine that gets you there. I work at a gym where I see the same people doing the same routine day in and day out, they do it and do it, and do it until they complain about hitting plateaus, or not seeing the results they like or perhaps they do it and boost themselves up with this mindset that they have grown a whole 2 lbs in their squat after staying on the same routine for 12 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there are 4 week, 6 week and 12 week programs out there but they are made to keep you focused and give you results in hopes you either do the same routine again (lets go another round) or to help give you a guide in order to keep you on the right path. They work, most do anyways, depending on your goals and how serious you are about the program & your nutrition matches your gym time. Putting those programs aside, its the mundane coming to the gym with no plan, doing a 10 minute cardio session warm up, lifting the same weights with the same 4-6 exercises you have done since starting the gym and leaving without even a single sweat or any sign of fatigue or soreness. Perhaps this is why you aren’t seeing the results, because you are lost and workout to workout but have no sense of direction — you say you want to lose weight but are avoiding cardio like the plague, you want to gain mass but lift 50 percent your max and you say you want a squat pr, but skip leg day BUT because you come into the gym everyday for 7 days a week for a hour at a time, you should reap all the benefits without doing the right kind of work. 

If this person is you, you aren’t alone. I am not making light of your journey, but I am putting you in the spotlight so you can see where you might be going wrong and what might need to change if you want all your effort to amount to something. I’ve worked at this gym for over a year and have had people ask me if I see any results from them, because they didn’t see any and I have had to say “no” many times because it’s true, I seen nothing. I don’t bash them, but I do ask them what their goals are and what they do to work towards them & each of them will tell me, “I workout everyday, I don’t understand”, it’s almost like I should applaud their efforts but why, when I know working out everyday won’t gain them the results they need if they don’t do the right kind of work to achieve it. The problem isn’t your frequency that you attend the gym, the problem is you have no plan and no genuine knowledge that will help you excel because you have made this habit into your excuse and use it to justify your reasoning for no results & if someone like myself were to give you some tips or advice or even try to offer my services, you think you are above it or question my knowledge because you have been told this one thing by someone else who has big muscles on a video and takes pre-workout and you believed it or took one thing from it and never really got the whole picture. For this, all I can say is working out 7 days a week won’t grant you result if you don’t take the right steps. Only doing half the work, will give you little to no results or keep you at a plateau if you don’t change your technique. If this is you and don’t know where to start, ask a professional (personal trainer) at your gym with credentials and have them give you some advice or take up a class and talk with an instructor or find valuable information online — to help guide you in the right direction. Regardless of your goals, everyone has a journey and your journey is important and if you want your journey to be successful, you have to be willing to challenge yourself, change routines, research information, be cautious of your eating habits, and take yourself seriously enough to want to see results and have this better self image. 

The only thing worse than a lazy person, is someone who prides themselves of being lazy” – Shay-lon (do the work, and the process will bring joy)

 

It’s Amazing What Your Happiness Can do

The title alone is built on a situation I endured at this new job (not a job I intend on staying long at, but one that will help me save up more money so that I can eventually move next year to the bigger city). This situation happened about a week ago, but it carried on for another week (unintended) and not to due to myself, but due to other people’s motives and emotions and lack of understanding of the matter. I suppose every good lifestyle blogger has to write about something real .. or “happening” & so I will make this new blog category worth your while as much as possible because I want to make sure it comes off real and gives you a sense of who I am but at the same time opens up conversation if need be. 

People tend to enjoy the depressed and upset ones — they find them vulnerable and weak and assume that if they are already at their low, it would be easy to keep them there. That’s what one of my co-workers assumed; and I finally decided instead of being pissed off and shitty towards people, I would instead be seemingly nice, and ignore the co-workers gestures and snide comments to belittle me (all in the name of situation that didn’t involve him in the first place or effect him) but in due time I decided to make my manager aware of the things this co-worker was doing to get a rise out of me, and after the manager had a good old conversation with him, I imagine he just became more bitter towards me and would continue to be an asshole towards me. That’s when I decided to change my perspective and give myself a better setting; I decided to smile and talk to people and ignore the co-worker’s ignorance and continue to do well at work. When this co-worker seen how many people were talking to me again and how I was not effected by his low blows & belittling comments, he finally felt compelled to apologize for offending me and making me feel uncomfortable. I think back to the fact that I was angry because of how many people were being rude towards me due to a situation that occurred that was blown out of proportion but because people listen to rumors instead of truths, they didn’t want to see my side of things when it happened. I started to ignore people, not smile and show no personality at work just to get through the shift because it was upsetting me having to endure such unkindness & that made my life worse because then people would continue to be rude towards me back and more unkind or unwilling to speak to me. After many efforts of being negative, I decided to come to work with a new attitude and in my surprise it worked for me, people were kind, willing to chat and very receptive towards me and the drama that occurred in the first place seemed forgotten for the time being. 

The moral of the story is, when I chanced coming to work with a bright mind & attitude, and started talking to people, it changed their attitude towards me & it gave someone a reason to apologize when they seen I was no longer going to allow them to affect me and my mood. I can’t say everyone was genuine, but it made work more enjoyable to pretend that they were. 

Starting a new job is never always an easy task (I have now been there 60 days and close to 90 days at the end of this month) a 2nd job that I got to help me save up more money for moving next year. I am not someone who enjoys drama and when you work with people who feed off drama, it can make work challenging at times and make you a bitter person, but I have learned that sometimes instead of being bitter and having a negative mindset — changing over to a better perspective, smiling and being friendly can make a whole lot of a difference. Food for thought. 

New Instagram & New Facebook Page

I just wanted to tell everyone that I have officially re-created my new Instagram and Facebook business page in the recent days, and would love for all those who followed the old accounts and have been supportive to follow these new accounts! 

Facebook Page: Confident Fit, LLC

&

if you haven’t, follow my Twitter: ShayM_Fitness

Again, thank you for the continued patience all of you have shown, and while the FB page isn’t nearly finished, I still want everyone to be able to be apart of this page and follow! New updates will be coming soon to the FB page to get back where it was & of course my IG page will have updated fitness/health photos along with videos. 

Happy National Poetry Day

Growing up, I loved writing, and when it came to poetry, I took after a couple of my family members and excelled in it. At that time, I figured poetry had to rhyme and have reason behind it, so that’s how I started but figured out soon after, it didn’t have to rhyme but to have reason makes it stronger and sometimes people can identify with something that is realistic. I never did go the extra mile and try to get my poetry published like some of my family members have, but I did obviously continue writing (here I am now) and even though it isn’t sharing poetry, I still kept the love for writing with me all these years. In the past I had some favorite poets for different reasons, some still my favorites, such as: Maya Angelou, and Langston Hughes. In school we read Edgar Allen Poe’s poetry as well, and we had to analyze the meaning behind his words used in his poems — it was not easy to do because his writing was much more complicated to me and sometimes hard to understand fully. I suppose now if I were to read over his work and think about the meaning, I’d still have problems possibly because I find his writing a lot to take in. The beautiful thing about poetry is it can be a style that fits the writer, it allows for creativity, it gives you sense of talking through words, it opens doors for emotional appeal, it gives a sense of adventure within the the writing and it can be about anything. 

For those of you who consider yourself poets, what is the appeal to poetry that hooked you? what are some of your favorite poets & does your poetry resemble their work? And if you wish, you may leave a link to a piece of your work and I will in turn read it and leave a comment 🙂

Be sure to follow my new lifestyle category post here

Happy National Vodka Day

I suppose if you need a reason to celebrate or have a drink, today would serve as a good reason considering it is National Vodka Day. I say, if you have the time and stay responsible cheers for continued success and happy memories to come! 

national vodka day