When Drama comes starts knocking, I leave the door closed

Good drama, is a poor excuse to have drama

Ya know what I have come to realize, that some people need drama to thrive on friendships, need drama to feel a purpose and rely on drama to gain some of kind insight on other people’s lives — me on the other hand, I don’t need it nor want it and I delete it as soon as it forms. 

Having been much younger once, I knew what drama could produce at an early age, and had my share of people’s bullshit and wanting to be apart of heavy gossip in hopes it would give me kudo points for being on the same side as others. Let’s face it, in grade school and some of high school, drama formed so often that when you think you dodged a bullet, it just meant another person had room to attempt the same scheme. I’d like to say with age came wisdom and learning from former mistakes and choosing to focus on more important things rather than other people’s business BUT, can’t say it meant drama would cease to appear in my life, nope, drama was still around and for good reason, because without it, meant I had little to no friends. Yet, you start to realize drama creates chaos and chaos invites itself in your life when you are most vulnerable or weak minded. In order to rid of chaos, you learn you have to make sacrifices that aren’t easy but will payoff (doesn’t seem that way at first) but in time it does payoff. 

For me, in order to live a drama free lifestyle, I had to rid the people I surrounded myself with that were bad blood and carried negative vibes — wasn’t easy until I started to see how it hindered my growth financially, mentally, educationally, and physically. Here I am YEARS later, without an ounce of drama to my name & the drama that might have tried to seep into my life, I ignored it or shut it down, & gave it no attention unless it was something that needed to be talked about in order to move on from. Otherwise, when drama comes knocking, I leave the door closed. Now drama normally is equated with gossip and I don’t particularly love hearing gossip, especially since I have learned and matured enough to make up my own opinions of other people once I get to know them vs believing everything someone else tells me (I always “consider my sources”) which means whatever someone tells me about another person, I take with a grain of salt until it has been proven / else I make my own judgement based on how the person treats me personally & if I am being honest, what someone does in their free time isn’t my business unless it effects me or somebody I care/love. Case closed.

Another form of drama is in relationships & I suppose those are much harder to shut down, because I assume we love the person we are dating & so this makes things more complicated BUT I found the best way to prevent drama from forming in your relationships is understanding the person’s character before putting yourself in a relationship with the person and really thinking about if the person is compatible with you. Good looks don’t mean the person has a solid character and just because he/she gives to charity doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t gossip.. so this is where being superficial can harm the future of your relationship. I believe it takes time & you and only you know what you need out of a person in order to have a successful relationship and so you need to make good decisions to have good outcomes. Not saying a relationship will be perfect but when the time comes and drama shows up at your front door during your relationship — the goal is for both parties to find a solution together that doesn’t burden the relationship or person/people within it. That’s the goal — easier said than done. 

Third form of drama is when you allow it to change your character in order to keep your popularity or friends. I think this is one of the worst forms because it really has a way of biting you in the ass if you don’t pay mind to it. I had to learn that popularity and having the most votes doesn’t mean anything if I have to change myself in order to be accepted among the majority. Nobody likes being an outcast/different, but sometimes being the unique one makes for a better character and a longevity of true friendships. Doesn’t mean you will win an Oscar , but it could mean you earn a good reputation. 

You learn that drama will happen, and continue to happen and that some forms of drama can be ignored and other forms need to be dealt with in order to make it disappear or prevent it from causing further chaos. I have had people say there is good drama, but good drama isn’t drama – it is reward, inspiration, blessings, and positive vibes & it doesn’t create chaos, but creates wisdom, happiness, triumphs, and builds good character. The good drama people speak of is: congrats, birthdays, holiday greetings marriage/newly weds , pregnancy, anniversaries, good health, promotions, compliments, good counsel, good deeds, and love. These are forms of drama that help uplift, motivate and give people a reason to smile — 

“Good drama doesn’t exist, it is purely a person with good intentions looking to give someone a reason to be happy” – Shay-lon Moss

 

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6,000 WordPress Subscribers and close to 4,000 on the second blog

Something about success smells sweat — Shay-lon Moss

 

Most people could probably start this sentence out by saying they have worked really hard to get to this point BUT, I used to say this when I was writing more & talking to my following more, but now I hardly can say it because I have skipped days writing, and haven’t been consistent and my topics haven’t been the most interesting (besides my self discovery challenge) which I am enjoying might I add, and while I want to make the topics interesting & I will soon, I need to consider the fact I am creating a website for my business and it will have a blog & I want some of the topics to be for that website (but I will share the site and links to the blog post on this blog as well) so that everyone can read them — but this is why my topics on exercise have diminished a tad bit.. UGH! but on the bright side, today I plan on writing down topics I want to share on this blog & topics for the website so that it isn’t repetitive on both sites (even though some will be the same as past post with maybe more or new opinions, facts, etc) but it has been something I need to sit down and go over before writing. Thank you for baring with me and for being patient throughout my writing career, I appreciate all of you! I do, truly.

Having reached my milestone of 6,000 subscribers and over 2,000 followers on this blog has made me realize that I have come a long way — even with the baby steps and small increments of change and lack of interesting post, people still seem to enjoy something about my blog & I want to say it has a lot to do with my voice in my writing — because I don’t think my topics are all that amazing as of now (I will change this soon) because I have big plans for this blog site, I do. It will be tons of work, but I love writing and I am going to work my ass off to make it better and bigger and more responsive to my followers and readers alike. My second blog has been doing well & surprising the topics have been of great interest to many people and I enjoy that as well, and I plan on continuing down the path I am on with it as of now, and when it grows, it will have more changes as well. 

My plans for 2019 for this blog: 

  1. more post engagement
  2. topics
  3. removing or adding categories
  4. engaging more with new and old followers as much as I can
  5. sharing of guest post
  6. more engaging images/videos
  7. affiliates/monetizing 
  8. possible theme change
  9. Meditation post — possibility for those who are interested 😀

small steps, so not to overwhelm myself.  My plans for the new website (that I will also share on this blog through links)

  1. my podcast
  2. videos
  3. new topics
  4. informational post
  5. interviews
  6. selling of my product line
  7. affiliates/monetizing 
  8. writing for editors/other sites & sharing my work
  9. personal training packages & nutritional plans 
  10. Q&A

Much much more 😀 which will be noted in the first blog page of the new website. 

I am hoping in 2019, I can also work on writing my first book if my schedule allows time for it and after doing research, etc. I have big things I would like to see happen with my business, my career, my writing profession & life in general. It might not all happen at once and it might be slow to happen, but I am going to try nonetheless because I have a passion for success and wanting to thrive in this world. My hope is all of you will be around in 2019 to see these wonderful things unfold and that I shall see your blog develop as well —because your growth is just as important to me as mine is to me. Again, I appreciate all of you and those who have been a follower and reader of mine for long and short period of time, & I raise a glass to all those who continue to write going forward in 2019 😀 Many blessings and more success to you my friends. ❤

Shay-lon

Thanksgiving Shouldn’t be Stressful on your stomach

Breathe.

Everything will be okay, no need to stress about what to eat, how to eat or when to eat.

It’s quite simple, what I am going to tell you. No reason to change yourself for a holiday, but a good reason to prepare for it, so when it comes in your direction, you are more than ready for the opportunity to enjoy yourself. 

  1. Thanksgiving is about enjoying time with family/friends/peers 
  2. You may attend as many Thanksgiving parties as you wish — don’t interpret this as greedy but instead as there is no number rule when it comes to attending family gatherings — it’s once a year, spend it with people.
  3. Food will be present 

Those top 3 things listed above should help you prepare. The next line will help you get through the holiday with a positive mindset.

  1. Eating is okay. 
  2. Trust yourself to make sound decisions. You will know when you are full because you know your body.
  3. Don’t go in with the mindset: “I will only eat this, this this” or “I will only eat one plate” or “no dessert this year” etc. Those are all grand ideas if you follow through but chances are, you won’t follow through and when you don’t, you will have then failed yourself enough to be frustrated — then comes stress eating because you give up on yourself. 
  4. Instead attend the dinner with the mindset: “I need food for energy, I need food for survival and food fuels me” with these words in mind, you won’t be stressed out, but will be positive.
  5. If you want to stay disciplined during the Thanksgiving Holiday with your weight loss plan: Eat a balanced meal. Drink plenty of water and stay active (go for a walk, attend the gym in the morning before dinner, chase the kids/grandkids around the house/yard, etc) if moving is going to be hard on you, then be sure to stretch every once in a while — you might be stuck in a chair watching football, but make the effort to stretch so you can get some form of movement) it’s better than nothing. Also be sure to share good news with the family about how your weight loss plan is coming along — it will help you stay on track with good support cheering you on! 

I realize the Holiday can be hard with all the temptation of food at work events, home, family gatherings, etc. You have worked hard on yourself and meeting your goals, they shouldn’t be thrown away because you had a plate of mac & cheese — and cheesecake for dessert. Food is fuel for the mind & body. Having a goal that you will eat one plate, is hard.. because whose to say you will be full after one plate? and why should you stack that ONE plate with everything just to meet your needs? Telling yourself you will only eat certain foods is hard too, because when you cook for yourself, you eat what you like & it should be the same during Thanksgiving. The problem people seem to run into is the fear of “overeating” or not making healthy, wise decisions during this Holiday. Many times, overeating does occur and the choices of healthy food is lacking or not something you really want to eat but force yourself to (which makes you unhappy and cranky) — the solution is eating a balanced meal (proteins, carbs, veggies, fiber, fats) – that way you are eating things you enjoy & aren’t missing out on the nutrients! If you are attending more than one Thanksgiving in a weeks time or on the same day, then eat according to how you feel from the previous dinner (if you are full, don’t eat), if you ate less veggies, and more carbs the first time, switch it this time around. No need to eliminate food from the diet UNLESS you choose to do that & can follow through and keep a positive mindset doing it. 

Keep in mind, I want Thanksgiving to be stress free eating and a focus on appreciating the fact you are spending it with loved ones. Keep in mind what you are eating and how much of it you are eating — if you can’t finish the plate, save if for later or the next day. Don’t be afraid of food, but be cautious of what your body is telling you, it will be your guide. If you don’t think you can trust you body with making sound decisions, then hold yourself accountable & be aware of your food choices and portion sizes.  Hopefully this will be helpful for your Holiday 😀 if you have anything you want to add, feel free to leave comments!

Shay-lon Moss

 

RIP To All Those Who lost their lives

I just want to take the time to say how sorry I am for all those currently struggling with the loss of their loved ones during the last night’s shooting in California at Borderline Bar and Grill. This world is chaos, and it has become a “normal” thing for these mass shootings, soft shooting to take place anywhere and everywhere. That’s sad, pathetic and scary. I was on twitter today and reading the masses of tweets and one in particular stood out to me (I dont have cable any longer, so I feel am always last to know things unless posted on FB or instagram or a friend should tell me) and did you guys know that this shooting marked 304th mass shooting of 2018 thus far. It blows my mind more and more when I think about it because we used to grow up in this mentality that “my neighborhood is safe, this town has hardly any crime, this could never happen here to me, what are the chances of it happening here, and the most crimes we have are small.. ” well guess what America? NEWS FLASH! but safe is relative & there is no safe zone, nobody is safe from destruction besides the dead. Hell, growing up, I always thought this town was safe from all harm due to it being a pretty well established area with very little crime but now, we have drug overdoses every week, we have had people killed from gunshots and stabbings and we have car break ins, etc.. and guess what? that’s not nearly half of what goes on here that the crooked system tries to hide, regardless, crime can happen everywhere and no state, city, county is safe from a mass shooting erupting — people don’t give a fuck! I hate to say it, but people who want to harm others; on a mission to make hell for someone else isn’t going to discriminate where it takes place, if they have the tools and the way in, they will take it & we need not forget that aspect. 

Our country has been talking about “gun control” since the Pulse shooting and yet there has not been a solution in place, not enough action being taken and too much conversation that prolongs the process before another shooting happens. We say gun control, we say we need to not continue to make mass shootings a normal happening, we say we need to band together and come up with a solution, we say we need to change the laws, we say we need to ban certain people from obtaining weapons, etc, but what haven’t we done? we haven’t done enough.. we are discussing the same policies, the same written documents, the same agendas we were discussing back when things started and now we are doing the same thing , and this is giving perps more time to plan the next chaotic attack because we aren’t taking enough action. I am scared for our country and the future, scared for my family and friends, scared for myself and people who I don’t even know — innocent people’s lives.. I am scared because no matter what we decide, people aren’t going to wait for us to take action, they will continue to do these shootings because they can and will. When we finally take some sort of action, it probably still won’t be enough because the internet makes things easily accessible & we live in sick, cruel world where all it takes is a click of a button, power and or money and BOOM!

I was reading a post on twitter on how we are blaming these shootings on mental health problems/disorders and conditions but how dare we use this as a scapegoat each time someone decides to become radical and do a mass shooting. I couldn’t agree more with the person who stated it, because hell, I suffer from mental health disorders but I am not out here shooting up buildings, blowing up people and taking innocent lives — and while I know mental health is running rapid & many times people can’t afford medication, don’t know they suffer from something or can’t afford to get help they need, it doesn’t mean all of us with mental health disorders are taking it upon ourselves to kill people. I am more than aware that some have severe cases of mental health issues and can cause harm to themselves and others but I don’t believe we should continue using mental health as a scapegoat because I believe it fuels the stigma already placed on people who suffer from mental health disorders/conditions. If mental health is an issue (which it is when people can’t afford or have the help they seek or need) then lets come up with something to help those in need — but if every time we assumed someone who killed someone has a mental health disorder, it would be bullshit because there are so many people in their right mind who just are evil people doing these things, it doesn’t always come down to them having a mental health disorder, sometimes they are just malicious people with bad intents. Two things:

  1. We need to focus on the fact that NOT every person who goes out and does a senseless act has a mental health disorder, fact is, people can be evil and do crimes like this, it doesn’t mean they have PTSD or anxiety or anything else, it could just mean, they are evil and have bad intentions. 
  2.  If we want to keep blaming mental health for reasons why people go out and kill people and commit mass shootings, then find a way to help people or make it possible for people to afford health care, prescriptions, therapy sessions, etc and create a better reform so people understand the different types of mental health disorders & instead of justifying the shootings with this person suffered with a mental health disorder .. how about we take action on gun control & have a better judicial system that hands out consequences instead of slapping people on the wrist to stay moral. 

I agree with this person who quoted:Mental illnesses didn’t shoot & kill 12 people in last night. A man with a gun did. Im sick of people using mental illness as a scapegoat, which further stigmatizes those of us that struggle with it. It’s lazy & dishonest” -Khary Penebaker, Fx .

Again, I am sorry for all those that lost someone due to the shooting, I pray in time you heal and find it in your heart to continue living your best life. ❤ 

P.S I am all for conceal to carry, I believe protecting ourselves is the best method these days; especially in having to defend yourself and family/friends. Take away people’s right to protect themselves, we are left defenseless and people who can’t fend for themselves are usually left to die without being able to put up a fight. However,  I do believe we can come up with a solid solution that doesn’t take away people’s rights to defend themselves but makes it harder for those who shouldn’t have gun to obtain one, but even so, the internet is easy and accessible and people will always find a way. Sadly.

Why Rehash the Past? I’d rather take my loss.

rehash the past

Yesterday — I didn’t expect to get the text message I received and to be honest, I didn’t expect to not care either. To be fair, I have had many times where I cared too much about something and needed answers but I am learning that sometimes answers carry weight & I don’t need any more weight on my back or anymore luggage to carry around with me. I received a text message from someone I used to talk to, we weren’t in a committed relationship at any point in time, but we had started talking sometime in February and I was left to pick up what was left of me at the end of August of this year. She really enjoyed me and while she wasn’t my type initially, I gradually started to enjoy spending time with her as well. She started “falling in love” with me over this course of time and while I had love for her , I didn’t fall in love with her, and so I was upfront about wanting to stay friends for while longer until I sorted out my feelings and felt that I was ready for something more serious. I started talking to another person, because I liked having options and getting to know other people, and I figured by explaining this to her and allowing her to do the same, it was only fair & would put less pressure on us eventually dating. Over a period of time, she started replaying her thoughts and emotions, hoping that we would at some point be on the same page & end up together but I kept things stalled. If we fast forward some months, we ended up fighting over dumb shit, things that didn’t matter whatsoever but were small and avoidable but because I think we were spending so much time together, maybe it was a sign we were growing sick of one another — I don’t know. We had made plans on a Friday & she lived a hour and some odd minutes away, so I figured we would meet up at her house, get a nap in and talk and start in on the plans — BOY WAS I WRONG. We did get a nap in, but the talking part was only pain and anger mixed in one bottle & I was left crying and enraged and she was emotionless & content with her decision of “asking me to leave” — I eventually left after having tried to talk to her, but she didn’t want to hear anything I had to say, all she could conjure up, was needing time to herself for a while & I respected that but I didn’t understand her reasoning for having me drive all the way there to be told this bad news in the first place. It was her way of telling me to my face — which I value but I guess, I never seen the signs coming of this horrible day to come. 

I remember leaving her house and looking at her one LAST time before driving away, and my tears were hardly dried up and I looked exhausted. If nobody knew any better, it had looked like I was mourning a loss, and to be honest I was, I was mourning a loss in friendship with someone I had grown to know. I gave it a week or so before I messaged her, all the while I was falling apart and feeling useless, I just felt the world stop before me. She had ignored all my messages until she finally answered letting me know, she was hoping to “ghost me” but she felt bad about it and decided to give me a response and basically left it with “I just want to be single for a while, and I don’t want to talk about this anymore” — all I could think of was: 1) we were never dating, 2) I was completely okay with her being single & 3) where the fuck did all this come from in the first place. I did tell her those three things, but she refused to answer any questions and I asked her about our friendship, like how does this effect our friendship & she basically decided against being friends as well (without saying so)  —————— this leaves me to my point as of what happened yesterday.. 

Yesterday she sent me a text apologizing for how she left things with me, admitting the immaturity and how wrong she was and told me she had her reasons for doing what she did, and if I was interested, she would be open in letting me know & and had hoped I was doing well. The first thing that came through my mind, is why? why do you all of a sudden give a care about giving me some type of reasoning for your choice in how you handled things, how come this all of sudden bothered you enough to text me. Personally, I think guilt weighed on her mind, and at that very moment, I didn’t care enough to respond & still don’t. I figure there is no reason to, I had to move on & restart my routine and I had to learn to do that without closure or understanding, so I don’t need her reasoning or closure to continue my life; what was done, is done & while I appreciate the apology, I don’t plan on living my life chasing after reasons to only rehash the past. 

Sometimes things are best unanswered. 

I don’t live my life to Appease you

Not anymore.

It is within our nature to want to be accepted by others, to want to “fit in” and feel like we can have a common place with someone else. We strive to be this person that people can say they like, talk highly about and want to be around on a more constant basis. It’s almost like we do things in order to prove we are worthy of these things, but what for? because popularity is a form of what we would consider “love”, and people like feeling loved — and cared for. It’s without a doubt, a great indicator of who we are and how we perceive ourselves because in the mist of wanting to be this “popular” buzz, we find out what sacrifices we had to make in order to appease the crowd & how those same sacrifices effect our character. Sometimes by being the “crowds favorite person” you find out that you had to sell your soul to the devil (metaphorically speaking) and once you decide to sell yourself short in order to gain a couple new friends, you don’t get to make another bargain. It’s a final sale & there are no refunds, you gave away yourself in order to buy a new face — you prided yourself for the amount of people who speak about you, but not everyone stays around long enough to meet the real you, when you finally have had a enough exhaustion for one day & need a break from it all, you have to remember it comes with a losing sacrifice, you lose out on the people you gained and you lost the ones who accepted you without change — but because of your greedy mind and wishful thinking, you have nobody at the end of this tunnel if you don’t stick with this mask that made you phenomenal. 

I created this writing as a piece to dedicate to myself & to those who have or once had lived to appease. They lived their lives constantly wanting someone to notice them, wanting to be their friend, wanting to be apart of something grand because for so long they weren’t happy with what they had, even if what they had was pure. Sometimes we want to strive for bigger & better but not always is this the best path, it can come with consequences if you don’t read the small bold print at the bottom of the contract and has its been known to change a person’s character and scar them. For we don’t get to choose who we meet, but if who we meet changes who we are for the worst, than maybe we need to reconsider how we go about letting people in. To appease someone else by changing yourself is like living a life with half truths. Not everyone was meant to like you, the true you, some will deem it “not good enough” ; but what isn’t good enough for them was good enough for those who stayed by your side no matter your flaws. If ONLY one person deemed you “good enough” , that one person is worthy of your love because that one person didn’t ask you to conform but instead asked you to be yourself in exchange for their true selves. We don’t have to unmask ourselves to see the face, we only have to question if who we really are, is the mask we put on everyday. Don’t live to appease, live to be loved and to be cared for 100 percent, live to be you, live to be true and never live to fit in because tears will flood the eyes who have reached their own demise. 

Shay-lon

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comment section & if you are a fan of these spoken verses, please feel free to share with your peers, like this page and follow my blog.