A New Week, A New Thought

Bloggers,

I decided to add another fun topic to my blog because well, I wanted to and because there are some things I think would be fun to talk about with within this category. This specific category will be called “Thinking Out Loud” & I will post it on Sundays! basically this will integrate my thoughts for the week, current events (preferably around fitness/health), my opinions on certain things in the industry, it might talk on my experiences or tell a story, it might be discussing things outside of the scope of fitness/health, it could be about anything really that doesn’t already fit into my other categories (which I will name at the end of this post) so hopefully all of you will enjoy it greatly because I am looking forward to it myself. 

 

ALSO…For those of you who may not follow my soundcloud account, I have decided that I also want to add another category based off of my podcast & it will be “Tuesday Fitness/health advice & tips” so I will continue my podcast series but will be adding this to the blog as well now because I want everyone to benefit from this 🙂 Which this basically is going to be me giving you advice & tips and also be answering questions that maybe people have asked me or have for me now that could be helpful for others. 

 

ALSO, ALSO… My podcast is supposed to have interviews, current events, Q & A on Saturdays, but I have been slacking and yet to do that, so not only will that continue (as soon as I find ways to get that going) but WHEN and IF I have time, I will be adding guest post to my blog (which is nothing new) but haven’t done it in a  LONG time. Yikes! sorry.  but this will take place on Saturday’s or Sundays possibly – the way I will go about it, is I just have a list of over 100 DIFFERENT TOPICS I want to write about written down and some are meant for guest post and some are meant for me to write about – so basically if I come to you about writing something for me, it is because I feel like you could be a good person to discuss that particular topic BUT this does not mean I don’t allow people to write guest post otherwise, because I have had people come to me about wanting to guest post (which is fine) but I am just really picky because this blog is my baby! lol so don’t take offense if I don’t accept your topic or request to write a post on my blog, because I like to be choosy because I worked my ass off on this blog like everyone else on theirs. 

 

ALSO, ALSO, ALSO.. LOL.. I have been doing Review Wednesday’s on YouTube (so yes, I will be adding them to the blog regularly on Wed whenever I do them) 

 

So with this all being said and laid out, I am hoping going into this new year, my blog will continue to grow, and give everyone something to read about that they are interested in no matter what journey they are on as far as fitness/health goes. 

 

Blog Schedule:

 
  1. Monday: Motivation/Inspiration quotes & my workout for the day
  2. Tuesday: Exercise (how to do/I choose an exercise and discuss it), my workout for the day, YouTube exercise videos, & fitness/health tips & advice
  3. Wednesday: My reviews, injury prevention post & my workout for the day
  4. Thursday: Mental health awareness post & my workout for the day
  5. Friday: No blog post
  6. Saturday: Recipes & my workout for the day, possible guest post
  7. Sunday: “Thinking out loud” Sunday post, possible guest post

Podcast Schedule:

  1. Monday: Motivation/Inspiration
  2. Tuesday: Fitness/health advice & Tips
  3. Wednesday: LGBT+ Topics and discussion
  4. Thursday: Recipes (a lot of times I will share this recipe on Saturday’s blog post for recipes so don’t be shocked if they turn out to be the same thing at times because not everyone follows my blog or podcast.. so I want everyone to hear and see the same things)
  5. Friday: no podcast
  6. Saturday: Interviews, Q & A, current events, misc 
  7. Sunday: no podcast

If anyone has any questions about these two schedules, let me know! As far as YOUTUBE goes, my schedule has not been completely made yet, so when I have that organized, I will be sure to post that schedule as well. 

Keep in mind that I work two jobs and I have studies & with holidays coming up and growing my brand, I will be busy and I might miss days of the week or have to post certain topics on other days because I am hella busy like everyone else in the world, don’t get mad at me, I am only human and I will do my best to continue making fun content that engages all of you! I love all my bloggers and readers and appreciate all of you for being my #1’s 🙂

My Social media (Yes, you can follow me)

YES, I do use them all (some more than others) so feel free to add me! otherwise, everyone have a wonderful Sunday!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

 

Shay-lon xo

P.S don’t forget my second blog ... https://gaylesbianme.wordpress.com/

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World Mental Health Day

Mental Health Awareness!

Spread knowledge, understanding, love and patience.

https://soundcloud.com/shay-lonfitnesswonderwoman-moss-fitness-wonderwoman/fitness-health-advice-10-world

With today being “World Mental health day” , I wanted to make a post and podcast about mental health. Every Thursday I dedicate my blog to mental health awareness because I believe it is so important to make these disorders known so that they become less of an omen and more of a way to enlighten, teach and hopefully make it so people understand the different mental health conditions – in hopes that we will find more ways to help these individuals and also to help ourselves from being ignorant of the matter. Mental health has been in this world for a long time, there once was time when it was looked down upon and people were sent to places that weren’t so great and were treated very poorly. Being in 2017, it has definitely gotten better but we aren’t perfect, many illnesses are still frowned upon and haven’t been thoroughly researched enough to understand them fully. While I believe we have gotten to a place where people know more than they did, I still believe it is important we continue to educate ourselves and spread awareness. I, being one who suffers from social anxiety and have had my issues with mild depression and nervous breakdowns, it isn’t always easy to talk to people about it, and sometimes it is difficult to share our stories or experiences with others because there is always that fear of judgement or fear that we will be the outcast because of it. Many people who suffer from mental health disorders live normal lives, and work with you and play with you and probably smile in your face at the grocery store but it doesn’t mean they don’t have an inner demon or that they aren’t wearing a mask to get through their day. It is not easy to spot mental health disorders in others and I don’t expect anyone to be professionals at it unless it is their job BUT my goal and hope for all of you is that if someone who know is suffering and trust you with this information, that you can be their light at the end of the tunnel or their ear when they need to talk or their friend when they feel alone— it won’t be easy, God knows, and it probably won’t seem like you are doing anything special for them but from my experience, sometimes knowing that you aren’t a burden to someone because of your illness can make it a little easier. 

 

We all have our own lives to live & our own issues to deal with — I’m not asking people to go out of their way to listen to everyone’s story and play superhero, I just ask that we keep open minded & try to have patience and give what little time we have in our day to a loved one or friend who may need someone to see them for who they are when they aren’t having to disguise themselves in front of the world – because many times if they allow you to see them “raw” as such, it is their way of opening up and hopefully you feel honored knowing this because many hide it and disguise it for a long time & either end up taking their own lives or abuse drugs/alcohol or end up in worse case scenarios. With this being said, I appreciate all of my readers for being supportive of me having to open up to all of you on my blog about myself  and my world and i have had the pleasure of reading and talking to individuals who shared some deeper thoughts/dealt with deeper issues – which in turn helped me to gain understanding and insight into their world. I want all of you to know, I don’t mind being an ear or a friend or being a inspiration to get through the day/ you can count on me to listen and while I might never have the right answers, I will do my best to be there. I love you and I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

 

Shay-lon xo

ADHD (mental health awareness)

Attention- deficit/hyperactivity disorder

mental health awareness

I knew someone who had ADHD all my life, but I didn’t realize what it was when I was younger, I just knew they acted “differently” in a way I could not express nor understand at the time, and not to mention they were taking meds – but when I got older my mom had explained to me why they were taking meds, and I still was unclear of the situation but had a better understanding than I had in the beginning, so with that being said, I know people who have mentioned to me that their child has ADHD and I know some adults do as well, or have been diagnosised with it, so I thought today would be the day to discuss this disorder a little further to gain some understanding and hopefully challenge all of you to share this with your peers and share your own experiences as well. 

 

What is ADHD?

Is categorized as a brain disorder that happens to interfere with functioning or development. 

 
  1. Inattention: a person who wonders off task, lacks persistence, disorganized and has difficulty sustaining focus
  2. Hyperactivity: someone who moves about constantly
  3. impulsivity: Makes hasty actions before thinking about them which could lead to harm or desire for immediate awards. 

Causes?

It isn’t 100 percent sure of what causes ADHD, but some things that are considered risk factors:

 
  • genes
  • cigarette smoking, drugs or alcohol abuse while pregnant
  • exposure to environmental toxins during pregnacy
  • exposure to environmental toxins at a young age
  • brain injuries, and
  • low birth weight

Said to be more common in males vs females. 

 

Signs/symptoms

  • Overlook details 
  • make careless mistakes on homework or during activities
  • problems with sustaining attention
  • easily distracted by unrelated thoughts or stimuli
  • forgetful of daily activities 
  • fidget or squirm in seat
  • run around or climb in situations that are inappropriate 
  • talk nonstop
  • problems waiting his/her turn
  • interrupt or intrude on others

This list not the whole list, but gives you an idea, but be sure to do your own research as well for other signs/symptoms. These are just some of the ones I know. 

 

Treatment:

  • Medication (stimulants and non stimulants)
  • behavioral therapy
  • family and martial therapy
  • parenting skills (for parents who have children with ADHD, this could be helpful in understanding how to handle the situation)
  • for kids: help them to make a routine of their day they can stick to, being clear and consistent, giving praise or rewards when rules are followed, finding ways to organize their binders
  • For adults: keeping reminders, making a routine of your day, using calendars, making list for different task, assigning special places for important things like keys. 

So while this information is on an individualized basis, be sure to speak to a specialist to obtain more information and do your own research on the matter to gain more understanding. If you enjoyed this post, be sure to like, comment, share and follow! thank you for reading. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 

I have Social Anxiety (Mental Health Awareness)

I will be first in line to admit that I have social anxiety (I believe I have mentioned this many times before) and while many people are in shock when I tell them this, because I come off outgoing and very talkative – this doesn’t mean anything, just means I mask it fairly well – not to mention, if you don’t understand social anxiety and what it means, you might not know what to look for when I am put in situations where I react. Now with this being said, this post will be both informative and yet, I will speak from my own experience as well, so hopefully you enjoy stories and perspective. I will start with the basics, what does it mean to have “social anxiety”?

 

Social anxiety is fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people BUT,  it stems from having a fear or anxiety of being negatively judged or evaluated by other people. —- I have dealt with this fear ALL MY LIFE and it sucks because I wanted to be more like the ones who “don’t care what others think” but even when I try, I know deep down I still care (even when I play if off like I don’t) now with this being said, yes, there have been times where I literally do not give a shit about what others think of me, or how they perceive me, and that usually is when I am at the gym or grocery store because I just feel like I have built confidence in those scenarios/environments. Although if you put me inside a new gym or a grocery store in a different town or area, my social anxiety will kick in because it is a new surrounding with new faces and I don’t know how to handle it.. so I just freak out in my mind. For some people they avoid situations like so, but I have learned to force myself to step outside my comfort level and make myself intentionally uncomfortable in order to fight my anxiety. 

 

Now let’s discuss some of the symptoms & I’ll share which ones i have, if any:

 
  • Rapid heart beat- this is another one I experience
  • blushing or sweating- sweating is one for me
  • feeling of mind going blank – I have this one
  • makes little to no eye contact 
  • speaks with overly soft voice
  • self conscious in front of others, feeling of embarrassed or awkward – This one I have
  • Being very afraid that other people will judge them – this one I have
  • Stay away from places where there are other people

Now, as you can see, I have quite a few signs/symptoms and some people have more or less, and not every situation do all these sign/symptoms display themselves. I personally know another sign/symptom that people I have dated have noticed and even people I have talked to, I tend to ramble when I speak in a conversation with someone, especially if I am interested in someone, or if I don’t know how to end a conversation, or if my nerves are all over the place. I know my ex used to mention that I ramble a lot on and off the phone and she would make jokes about it and I knew that sometimes it was awkward but since that relationship, I have been trying to get better at catching myself ramble and doing it less often. I guess for me, it is really tough to not ramble, because it is my way of comforting my anxiety or “hiding” it, but when people notice and make light of it, it makes me feel a little discouraged at times or feel insecure or puts me in an awkward position where I don’t know what to do or how to handle it – and that just means I went from social anxiety to now I am upset with myself and feeling really embarrassed by my actions. None of my friends or family have ever made comments on my rambling and that might be because I don’t ramble with them .. it’s weird, but also I am comfortable with them. I never notice other’s with social anxiety, it goes over my head if someone does and they are talking to me, because I am so focused on my own response and reactions & trying to come off less awkward that if anything I just assume you are shy and nothing more. 

 

Another thing I have noticed is, depending on the person and type of compliment they give me, I tend to get weird and say quick thank yous without even looking in your direction or I am pleasant and want to connect with you and my thank you comes off more friendly. I handle compliments better coming from females vs males as well. For some reason, I have yet to ever be awkward with a female who compliments me, but when it comes to males, it happens often unless I am comfortable with the male figure. Growing up, it wasn’t always like this but as I got older, it started to make sense as to why (& we won’t get into that at this point) but regardless I love compliments but handle them differently depending the nature of them, the sex and how comfortable I am with that person. I have known both, people who are flattered by compliments and others who get really tense and don’t like them.   

 

Causes:

There is NO one cause of it, but many factors that can lead to one possibly having social anxiety – but doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to get it just because you happen to have these issues but the chances could be greater. 

My mom has social anxiety and her’s is worse than mine, I would say, but she reacts to it differently than I do, on the other hand both of my younger siblings don’t seem to have it from the outside looking in, but I am not a professional so I wouldn’t actually know if they did unless they told me – so families can carry this trait. 

Misreading people’s behaviors toward you can be another cause of social anxiety- and I think I am decent at reading people, but I do tend to over analyze at times.

Underdeveloped social skills – this is a possible cause for myself. Growing up, I had friends but I was always the awkward duck, I didn’t know how to properly interact with others and not feel like an outcast and I think because I lacked some self confidence at times, I was always doing weird shit or saying weird random shit that in my mind was my way of trying to fit in but in reality was probably causing people to think I was weird or pushing people away. I developed a more comical personality in order to handle social situations and instead would always be the class clown and make people laugh and that is how I combated my own issues. 

 

As far as treatment goes, I never saw a professional for it, never had therapy or medication for it, and I refuse to go that far for myself because I think I have more of a handle on it now than I did in the past and I don’t feel like mine is very severe compared to other cases. I have learned to mask some of it, in order to push through and I have learned that if I force myself to confront my anxiety by stepping outside my comfort zone, it helps to build my confidence and encourages me to find ways to manage it better. For example, last year and previous years, I would go to Columbus here in Ohio for a weekend and stay in a hotel by myself and explore the city – downtown area, just walk and explore the stores, bars, etc all alone and  by doing that, I met people, I learned to find my own way and to handle situations that would make me uncomfortable and I loved doing that. This year, I went to a bar in my town alone, and the first time it went well, but the second time it went horribly and so I haven’t done it since then but I might consider doing it again at a different point in my life. My new goals to battle my social anxiety is to attend a movie alone and to eat at a restaurant alone because I am so used to doing them both with friends or family, so I want to step outside my comfort zone and do them by myself – also, I would like to attend a concert by myself and would love to drive out of town by myself again and explore another area .. so those are all goals to help me. 

 

I would love to hear from all of you with social anxiety, speak on what helps you, or try one of these ways of coping and let me know if it worked. If you enjoyed this post, like, comment, share and follow! 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 
 

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Mental health awarenesss

Welcome back bloggers to another mental health Thursday post! I hope all of you have been enjoying my mental health Thursday post, raising awareness on mental health and making it less of an omen & giving understanding. I am not sure if any of you have heard of PTSD, but if you have, you probably have commonly heard war veterans speak on it — but it isn’t exclusively happening to just war veterans but also the general population as well. I know someone personally who has PTSD, hell, I probably know more than a couple of people and each of them handle it differently and have different reasons as to why they have it. I won’t discuss their stories because that is private information but if anyone wants to leave in the comments or email me their own experience, that is fine, otherwise I don’t expect people to be as open about their experiences because it becomes really personal. 

 

Now keep in mind, all my information about PTSD does NOT mean that it is the same for everyone, everyone is an individual case so treat my answers as such. If you know someone who has PTSD, I am either hoping this will help give you insight, possible understanding and perhaps help you have a better handle on things because I dated someone who allegedly had PTSD (wasn’t brought to my attention until the break up) and the way they explained it, they couldn’t but I could tell something wasn’t right at the time with this person and while they never did get a diagnosis; they figured they did enough research to narrow it down to PTSD — I wish I could have known sooner because maybe it wouldn’t have been too late to look into handling a relationship with someone with possible PTSD but with that being said, many spouses who live with someone with this condition, it can sometimes be stressful and very exhausting if you don’t understand or if you are feeling abandoned, it is never easy to put your foot into someone else’s shoes if you have never experienced what they have experienced and while we sympathize with them, it doesn’t mean we have a hold on the issue at hand – because sometimes we don’t, sometimes we find ourselves thinking we ‘got it’ just to find out we we’re way wrong, and that’s okay because we are only human. 

 

What is PTSD?

 
  • Failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event 

Not everyone with PTSD has gone through a painful event – losing a loved one can also cause this to happen. 

Symptoms

  • Flashbacks/reliving the event (nightmares, etc)
  • scary thoughts
  • Avoiding places, or situations that remind you of the event
  • Might have more negative beliefs or feelings
  • hyperarousal
  • feelings of hopelessness, shame or dispair
  • possible drinking or drug issues
  • employment issues may occur
  • relationship issues may occur
  • depression 
  • anxiety
  • many of the symptoms depending on the severity could lead to suicide.. 

Children with PTSD

  • Might experience bed wetting habits
  • Forgetting how to or being unable to talk
  • Acting out the event during playtime
  • Could be unusually clingy to a parent or other adult
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Act out the event through drawings 
  • Could become more irritable or aggressive
  • Might have problems with friends, or school work
  • might try to avoid going to school
  • depression as they get older
  • anxiety
  • withdrawal or possible reckless behavior as they get older

Risk Factors

PTSD can happen at any age! 

  • war veterans
  • sexual abuse
  • physical abuse
  • loss of a loved one
  • witnessing a dangerous event happen to a loved one
  • childhood trauma
  • having a history of mental illness
  • having little to no social support after the event
  • Stress after the event can make PTSD more likely

With this being said, PTSD can occur soon after the event or take months to years before it triggers & it can come and go. Again, everyone is different. 

 

Treatment:

  • Psychotherapy for PTSD
  • Medications

The ONE thing is for sure, we always want to push people to ask for help, but sometimes that person doesn’t always realize they have an actual issue and some people live in denial. You can offer help, but doesn’t mean they will take it. I once told somebody: “getting help seems easy to do coming from people from the outside looking in, but for me, it is letting go of my pride, being vulnerable and accepting it and that’s just not easy to do” so take that how you will, but in knowing my own situation, my anxiety and how it hinders me sometimes – that’s how I feel about things, hints why I have never sought out help BUT don’t do as I do, do what works best for you, and your circumstances because help is important in order to better handle things sometimes. I will mention, my anxiety is A LOT better than where it used to be but it probably would have saved me a whole hell of lot more to seek help back when. It’s never too late to ask for help or seek a professional, so don’t give up on yourself. 

 

P.S I will always be honest with my readers about how I handled my own mental health issues and break downs, etc and I will be the FIRST person to say, I don’t seek professional help for things I go through, because I just deal with it & sometimes I pay a hell of a lot of consequences and sometimes I come out okay, but regardless, my pride and stubbornness gets the best of me,  and that’s why I am a bad example , lol 

 

Hope all of you have enjoyed this post, be sure to like, comment,share and follow!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 

Multiple Personality (Mental Health Awareness)

Thursday is mental health awareness on my blog.

I make it known to you the different kinds of mental health conditions and illnesses that may be overlooked, looked down upon & hope it gives you some insight – if not insight, then some interest in wanting to do your own research. I have always said and will continue to say, I am all for keeping a mental balance, one that is just as important as your physical attributes if not more important. Today’s topic of choice is “Multiple personality”, many of you may have studied this, or perhaps deal with this condition, and myself, has worked with individuals first hand who have this condition and many others. I might not understand 100 percent everything that comes with this, but having learned from watching, from textbooks and online research, I have learned quite a bit. My hope is that my viewers (you) will come forth and share what you know with me and my readers because I always appreciate more information that is current or will help people to understand. 

 

What is ‘Multiple Personality”

Another word for this is “Dissociative Identity Disorder” –

When two or more identities, or personality states are present in and alternatively taking control of an individual. 

 
  • Some individuals can have two and others can have 30.. it all ranges. 

Characterized by a fragmentation, or splintering, of identity rather than by proliferation, or growth of separate identities” PsychologyToday

  • “Certain circumstances can cause or stressors can cause a particular identity to emerge, and the various identities may deny knowledge of one another, be critical of one another or in conflict with one another” psychologytoday

Symptoms:

  • memory loss of specific times, people and events
  • possible out of body experiences
  • depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide
  • detachment from your emotions
  • lack of sense of self identity

Causes:

  • No definite answer but said to have come from trauma (sexual or physical abuse) – developing a way to deal with the trauma
  • combat and natural disasters can cause DID as well

Treatment:

  • Psychotherapies 
  • medications – none of which treat the disorder but can help treat the mental health conditions (depression, anxiety, etc) 

With proper treatment of this disorder, it is said that many can improve their ability to function in their occupation and personal lives. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

Paranoid Schizophrenia (Mental Health Post)

Mental health is just as important as physical health, if not more important. 

 

Hello bloggers, as scheduled today would be mental health awareness by discussing a mental health condition. I chose this particular one because I don’t know anyone who has been diagnosed with it close to me and I didn’t know very much about it to be able to discuss so I had fun being able to research it and gain some understanding. I did happen to know some basics but enough to be able to write about it, so I post some links for this one to sites I used briefly or that I sited so that you can also read up on it, if it something of interest to you. 

 

What is Paranoid Schizophrenia?

 
  • When your mind doesn’t agree with reality – this is the way I understand it and the easiest way of explaining it so others can understand & the same way this site put it.
  • A lifelong illness
  • Affects how you think and behave

Symptoms:

  • Auditory disturbances
  • unexplained anger
  • emotional disconnectedness
  • sever anxiety and agitation
  • argumentive behavior
  • sometimes violent tendencies
  • Delusions of grandeur
  • frequent suicidal thoughts and behavior

Now there are other symptoms that people with schizophrenia may have that are not listed, so make sure to do your research and get a full understanding because each person handles this differently. 

 

Risk Factors:

Most studies say there is no ONE cause of this illness BUT there are some risk factors that can higher your chances: 

  1. Family history of psychotic disorders
  2. exposure to a viral infection in the womb
  3. fetal malnutrition
  4. stress in early childhood
  5. sexual or physical abuse
  6. older parental age
  7. Use of psychoactive drugs during adolescence 

Treatment:

  • THERE IS NO CURE AT THIS TIME FOR THIS ILLNESS!!!!
  • medications
  • psychotherapy
  • hospitalization
  • ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy)
  • training for social skills and development

Now with this being said, these are methods but they depend on the situation and circumstance, not everyone will agree to take medications or undergo therapies and that is their choice. I know many of them take more than one kind of medication and sometimes more than 2 or 3 depending on their situation and symptoms and the severity. The fact there is no cure for it is disheartening because this is something someone will have to deal with for the rest of their lives & I don’t think it would be easy or easy to explain to others who don’t have it and this is why I do these post so that hopefully it sheds light and brings awareness to the issue at hand. I personally have always believed that mental illness goes unnoticed because people don’t understand and believe them to be omens or ignore them in order to pretend it doesn’t exist (ignorance).  I like to think we are growing and learning and accepting people who may be different than ourselves BUT at the same time there are still people who look down on those with any type of mental illness. I believe in order to help people with their illnesses we have to be open minded and forgiving because it is not always that individuals fault that they have it. So with that being said..

 
  1. Do you know anyone who has this illness? or do yourself have it?
  2. Did you know a lot about this illness or was this something new?
  3. will you share this post to bring awareness to mental health 

Links I used for this post: 

 

Thank you for reading!

 

Fitness Wonderwoman, 

Shay-lon xo

Narcissism (Mental Health Post)

Mental Health is just as important as physical health. 

 

It has been awhile since I was able to hit on more mental health topics, considering, I find that many people have mental health conditions that go undiscovered. I have mentioned in prior mental health post that is very important to take care of your mind just as much as it is to take care of your body and for some people it is considered more important but that is neither here or there. My point is in order to take care of yourself, you have to have some kind of balance in your life, one that is destructive toward you or others. 

 

This particular mental health condition is normally a word used closely to the word “selfish”. I am not sure how many people are aware of the mental condition narcissism or even understand it, but in this post, I am going to share some good information to take with you after reading this. I would highly recommend that many of you do your own research afterwards to gain a better understanding of it because I think the more aware we are about something, the less we turn a blind eye to it. Now without offending anyone with this health condition, this is not a post to slam you or make you feel like a piece of shit about who you are or what you do to others, but hopefully will be a wake up call and give you a reason to want to change for the better if possible – like any condition, I don’t expect things to happen overnight. For those of you who might know someone who is narcissistic, then hopefully you will be able to share your thoughts & experiences in the comment section – don’t be afraid to add your own two cents to this post, the more information , the better! 

For beginners what is a narcissist? 

  • A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration for themselves. 
  • It is a “personality disorder”

Based on (DSM)-5 The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: These are things that would possibly classify one as narcissistic: (this was published in 2013)

  • exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • expectations of being recognized as superior being (without achievements that warrant it)
  • exaggerating achievements & talents
  • mind is preoccupied with fantasies such as success, power, brilliance, beauty or having the perfect spouse/partner
  • the belief that you are superior and can only be understood by those who are equally special
  • require constant admiration
  • sense of entitlement
  • expectations of having special favors done for them and unquestioned compliance with one’s expectations
  • Taking advantage of others in order to get what they want
  • Inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • being envious of others and belief that others are envious of you
  • behaving in an arrogant manner

What causes one to have this personality disorder?

  • In all honesty, it is not specifically known, but there are studies saying possible genetics or psychobiology. Speculation says some may believe the mismatching of parent-child relationships. 

This personality disorder is said to be found in more males than females, and is usually spotted in early teens BUT even if a teen has some of these characteristics, it does not ALWAYS mean that they have this disorder (it could be typical of their age and doesn’t guarantee them to grow up with narcissism) – which in my opinion is why sometimes it goes unknown or not correctly spotted.  

Bad things that could come of being narcissistic:

  • Relationship difficulties
  • Problems at work and school – with coworkers
  • Depression
  • Possible drug or alcohol abuse
  • Possible suicidal thoughts or behaviors

Although some of these complications can be for more than one disorder NOT just narcissism. 

Diagnosing the disorder?

  • I am not a therapist, so I am not sure how each of them do this, but from what I have gathered there is usually an exam or some kind of evaluation that can help the therapist recognize this disorder BUT because so many people may have more than one disorder it does make it more difficult to diagnose at times. 

With all of this being said, I read a couple of blogs that discussed this disorder, one being: http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com/resources/what-is-narcissism/ (that also mentions the DSM- 5) it was a good read and short. Maybe it will be something you would be interested in reading, we pretty much shared the same kind of information but their blog has a little bit of a twist to it & she has some sources she shares in her blog post that you can look into for further guidance. Thank you for reading, feel free to share, comment, like and follow. 

 

Your Fitness Blogger,

Shay-lon xxoo

Self Confidence

What does it mean to be confident, to love one self? What does it mean to put yourself first and allow others to give you the respect that you demand because you have earned it? have you been waiting for someone to tell you ” you are good enough” or are you still searching for that perfect little world where no problems will ever arise. Have you forgotten where to start and where to go, because you have been more focused on starting and going to someone else’s beat.  Do you even know yourself, do you truly love yourself even when you see the flaws? 

I am not sure how everyone feels about who they are and I am not able to make one love his or herself because it takes that ONE person to do that for themselves. People always nail people to a wall who have low self esteem or no confidence, we expect everyone to walk with confidence, self dignity and live in no fear but honestly, how can we put such high expectations on people when we are the same people judging others for their walk of life.  I cannot explain this, because this is what makes us human, our instincts are to judge when we don’t know or understand.  We tend to lack compassion these days because we have too many people running around taking advantage of the “good” we do and not enough people paying it forward. Confidence is said to be “sexy” and necessary in order to have a healthy relationship (in which I may agree) , but what happens when you are expected to do the same (be confident) and you are put in a situation where you feel uncomfortable? no longer can you walk with your head held high, no longer can you talk without stuttering, no longer are you able to judge someone else’s same predicament and no longer can you be the one to set these expectations on others when now you know what it is like to not have that oz of confidence in you. Where am I going with this?

“Self Confidence is built on loving yourself not on making yourself feel more superior to others” – Shay-lon Moss

If we truly learn to love ourselves overtime and choose to accept our flaws and change the ones that need to be changed in order to better ourselves, it won’t matter what environment we are in, what we are wearing, how much money we have and who we are friends with, it won’t matter how good of an athlete we are, what trophies we have won, and what kind of occupation we have, because when you learn to truly love who you are – nothing about those things matter to you as much as being yourself. 

How do we love ourselves, that is something we all need to figure out, we just hope that what we have, never gets in the way of who we are. 

“Sometimes loving yourself can change how you look at others” -Shay-lon Moss. 

Your fitness blogger

How do you manage your stress?

Hello bloggers!

Today’s problems that we can and cannot control can sometimes give us the most stress, the financial burdens, our relationships, our work load, if you have children or pets, sometimes our neighbors or bosses, the weather, the town or environment we live in, death, our past we hold onto, school, struggling to self- identify, our religions, not meeting a goal, our anxieties, fears, sleep deprived, illnesses, sexual desires not being met, lack of self esteem and confidence, struggling between what is right and what is wrong, sports, family members, holidays, birthdays, moving from one place to another, being homeless, losing your job, not having transportation, not understanding, anger, confusion, negativity, handicaps, losing, comparing, health, being a hero, struggling, etc. I could name so many things that could bring on stress on a daily basis for each and every one of us. I named just a few that I know are fairly common reasons for why people are stressful.  As a matter of fact, I am sure one of you reading this might be feeling somewhat stressed for one or more of these reasons and not even realize it. I know I have stresses, I was just stressing the other day and I am in a grumpy not yet stressful mood now (just woke up in pain and have a lot on my mind).  So, even myself has stress, more stress than I actually want in my life and sometimes more than I can handle.  The problem isn’t that we ALL stress at some point in our lives, the problem is HOW we handle the stress when it comes knocking at our doors.  I can share with all of you ways some people handle it: alcohol, drugs, violence, hate, greed, addictions, obsessions, emotionally disconnecting, running from it, bottling their feelings/thoughts, taking over the counter medications, suicide, etc. I realize this list isn’t the list we want to come to terms with, but more than likely someone has handled stress in one of those ways and not saying what they did was WRONG, because we cannot preach something if we have no idea how that person is feeling or what they went through, but there are BETTER ways to manage stress, more productive ways that prevent us from going down a road that is dark and lonely. 

I am hoping this list of ways to manage stress will come of use to those of you and myself when we run into a stressful situation and need something to help us get by. “Sometimes we think we have it bad, but bad only exist when we allow it to conquer who we are as a person” -Shay-lon Moss

How do you manage stress: 

  1. Ask yourself what can you do about the sources of stress (what is causing your stress)
  2. Keep a positive, realistic attitude (hard to do, but only you can do it for you)
  3. Learn and practice relaxation techniques (some may find this helpful and others will not)
  4. Exercise (cliche because I workout, but exercise is said to help)
  5. Eat healthier (take care of your health)
  6. Manage your time wisely (set goals, to do list, plan, etc) 
  7. Say no when necessary to things that add more stress in your life
  8. Make more time for hobbies and interest (this is important)
  9. Get enough sleep (this is also very important and for some hard to do)
  10. Don’t rely on alcohol, drugs or food in order to ease your mind, it will be short term and will only be more stressful down the road.
  11. Spend more time with people you love being around (people who are doing well, people who love and support you, people that make you laugh or smile)
  12. Talk with a professional or look into taking a stress management class 
  13. Listening to music has said to help with getting your mind of the stressful situation

Sometimes it isn’t about coping, it is about allowing everything to come to surface.  I always tell myself and others when they are enduring stressful situations to allow tears and madness out, because keeping it in, fucks with your mind. 

This is what could happen if you don’t manage your stress: 
 
It can wear down the body’s natural defenses and cause symptoms: 
  1. Dizziness (being out of it)
  2. General aches and pains
  3. Grinding your teeth
  4. headaches 
  5. indigestion
  6. increase or loss of appetite
  7. muscle tension in neck, face or shoulders
  8. Problems sleeping
  9. Racing heart
  10. Cold and sweaty palms
  11. Tiredness and exhaustion
  12. Shaking 
  13. Weight gain or loss
  14. Upset stomach and/or diarrhea
  15. Sexual issues
  16. Being irritable, impatient or forgetful
“Stress is something we want to avoid, but avoiding it becomes more stressful” -Shay-lon Moss
Your Fitness blogger,
Shay-lon xoxo