Building a positive social circle

I plan on getting back to the podcast soon that I created (been away from it for 3 months) and so to keep things fresh, I will probably do the Tips Tuesday — and gradually get back into things, don’t want to overwhelm myself with too much because of all the extra stuff I am now taking on. With this being said, I created this tip months ago, and I figured it is very important — something we should all aim for & that is:

 

Building a positive social circle.

 

What this means, is choosing to surround yourself with people who help to build you, motivate you, encourage you, and support you. We all have had people in our circle at one point who seemed like the debbie downer or the one that constantly complains about life and all the downs but never sees any positive things from it — but maybe some of us have been the negative one in our own circle (if this is true, change your outlook .. in order to gain the positive circle you seek). This is excluding those of us with mental illnesses that might play a part in our mindset, but even so with that illness, finding people who appreciate you and give you hope and have a concern for you and your life as much as you have for them is a start in the right direction. 

 

I am not perfect by any means, but since growing up and becoming more mature and making better adult decisions, I have gotten better at being alone until I meet people who have a good impact in my life instead of being friends and accepting everyone in my circle — I had to learn to be more picky because I get discouraged easy and I deal with my own demons and having a negative person who constantly brings me down, only creates more issues in the long term for me. Something we have to learn to do, is be picky as to who we allow in our lives and who we allow to impact our lives. Down below I list some ways to build a positive social circle:

 
 
  1. Be PICKY! Don’t allow anyone in, make sound decisions. Not everyone needs to be your friend
  2. Change your outlook/attitude about yourself – when you have a more positive outlook on yourself, people tend to gravitate towards you and in turn you make more relationships that are good relationships
  3. Respect people- Respect goes a long way in life, if you can respect others, normally it means they will have mutual respect for you
  4. Be open minded: Open minded individuals tend to see within a person vs the outer layer, they want a deeper connection with someone and in turn you truly start to build a stronger bond
  5. Compliment someone: Giving someone a reason to smile can make a difference — people will feel appreciated & it can make your day knowing you made someone else’s day. People enjoy compliments, truths about themselves that maybe they don’t see within them, but hearing it from someone else gives them a reason to continue being awesome! A simple compliment can carry a lot of weight
  6. Don’t be self absorbed: I always say there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself BUT you don’t want your circle to get tired of learning about you, when you become self absorbed everything revolves around you and that shows others that you don’t have their best interest in mind. I will just add that, being self absorbed can lead to bad relationships because everybody wants a chance to shine and when you take someone’s limelight to shine back on yourself, it comes off as arrogant. 
  7. Confidence is needed: Confidence is a necessity because people feed off someone who is confident with who they are, you need to carry yourself like you are proud of being alive, proud of who you are and proud of where you came from because it is what makes you, you! You might have a bad past but it doesn’t mean you are bad person, and you might have flaws but flaws don’t make you less of a person. 
  8. Think before you speak: We get in a habit with saying whatever is on our minds, which isn’t always bad, but it can lead to bad outcomes if we don’t think about how to go about things. If you keep other people’s feelings in mind, then you will have better outcomes, telling the truth isn’t bad but its how you say it that can make the whole difference. Take others into consideration before speaking too much of your mind. 
  9. Don’t be “two faced”: We all know what it means to be two faced “someone who smiles in your face but will talk behind your back when you leave” , yes, that’s very dishonest, rude and immature. Grow up, if you want people in your circle who are positive, don’t make it hard on yourself by giving them a reason to not trust you or like you. 
  10. Find people with similar hobbies: It can pay off when you acquaint yourself with those who share the same interest and hobbies as you, this makes life a little easier but don’t disregard those who are opposite because many times they can give us new experiences and allow us to step outside our comfort level. 
  11. Be true to SELF: Be real, be authentic, and be yourself. Changing for others will either end badly or last for a short period of time because you will run into all walks of life and having to shift who you are for each person will get tiring — change is good if it makes you into a better person and develops you mentally and physically and spiritually but when it becomes a change in order to “fit in” with people or groups of people, it drains you, overwhelms you, and reduces your chances of making deeper connections with people. Not everyone will like you, but those who do like you, will be worth it because they will see the best in you — 
 

Building a circle isn’t about being “popular” and most liked, it is about building a meaningful bond with people who take the time to build that same bond with you. Building a positive circle isn’t about having to smile and be happy everyday, it’s about building a circle that allows for bad days but doesn’t dwell on them — Shay-lon Moss 

 

A circle can be small (2-3 close friends) or a bigger circle (5-10 friends), or your family members — it doesn’t matter how big or small it is, it’s a circle that has your back no matter how deep the water gets; they motivate, support, and uplift you– they give you truths but don’t slam you with bad vibes — Shay-lon Moss

 

Have something you want to add to this list, feel free to leave in the comment section! 

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Circuit Training Workouts

In a world where being creative is a must if you want to prevent boredom, this is where I come in and enlighten your day and workout. I strive to help people find their wings in the gym, to find exercises and training modules that work best for them individually — because everyone is an individual. It is easy to get caught up in the hustle & bustle of trying to find a workout that gives you results, keeps you entertained, challenges you & at the very best teaches you something new about your body and your limits. Many people do the same thing in and out, don’t see results and don’t feel challenged because they are afraid to push themselves (coming from experience, this is due to many things) but once you hop over that obstacle, you find that there is so many options and not all of them are alike, which intrigues you enough to want to give it a go.  Well, if you are ready to hop over that obstacle today, I have something that might intrigue you enough to give it a go. 

 

Circuit training is a fancy term for doing an abundance of exercises (typically 2 or more that are high intensity) that require you doing them in a timed situation OR a high intensity exercise that is done (typically 2 or more)  without a break between for a certain amount of reps .. for example:

 

Example One:

 
  1. Burpees: 10 reps
  2. Jumping Jacks: 10 reps
  3. Push ups: 10 reps

Having to do these all without a break between, one after the other for a certain amount of rounds

 

OR

 

Example Two:

  1. Burpees: 30 seconds
  2. Jumping Jacks: 1 minute
  3. Push ups: 30 seconds

You are having to do these exercises within a certain amount of time — and recording your results, again this would require no break in between exercises. Another option would be.. 

 

Example Three:

Do 4 of these exercises within 20 minutes of time:

  1. Pull ups: 100
  2. push ups: 50
  3. burpees: 100
  4. Kettlebell swings: 150

Basically a lot of Crossfit athletes do these and have another term for it, but it is a form of circuit– the difference being you have 20 minutes total to finish the 4 of these exercises with the amount of reps– during my CrossFit class, we didn’t have a break between .. it was ongoing, sure I could stop and catch my breathe but I was trying to beat the timer, so I didn’t want to take long breaks if I wanted to succeed in the workout. Time was of the essence. 

 

Circuit training can come in all forms: cardio, strength exercises and a combination of both. You can also choose to use machines if you aren’t comfortable using free weights OR you can use body weight exercises (which means you can do them at home). Depending on your fitness level and the equipment available to you, it could be a fun workout to take on and you can change it up however you like to meet your needs. 

 

Pros of Circuit training:

  • Increases endurance
  • Increased muscular endurance
  • strength building 
  • can utilize weight machines, free weights or body weight
  • can be done at home or the gym
  • challenges you
  • lose fat while maintaining strength
  • Beginners, intermediate or advanced athletes
  • cardio, strength or a combination of both— depending on your goals

In my opinion, it is a great option for those of you who might need to turn up the fun factor in your workouts, need a challenge, want something new, great for partner workouts — where you both train together, and if you are new to exercise, it can help get you started in the right direction. I use circuit training more often than not, especially when I am doing CrossFit based workouts, or want to add some high intensity volume training. Definitely worthy of giving a go! 

 

Feel free to share, comment, like and follow!

 

Whats your favorite circuit training workout? 

 
 

Tip #7: Don’t more than you can handle

Easier said than done. 

Most people assume you have to lift heavy to see results, but what happens is they compromise their form in order to do so. 

My tip is straight forward: Don’t lift more than you can handle, gradually increase but don’t compromise the form/technique in order to do it, because otherwise you will suffer a possible injury. It’s best to do increase the load over a period of time than to go in balls deep and hurt yourself in the process. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon 

Tip #6

Come to the Gym with a Plan in Hand

I am a huge advocate with coming to the gym with a “plan in hand”. Now for some of you, you already do this and for others of you, you don’t like having all the extra papers lying around or don’t like bringing your electronics to the gym with you BUT I am telling you, as tedious as it might seem, it is always better to come to the gym with exercises you already have planned out vs coming to the gym and having to pace around or stay on the treadmill until you decide what to do next. 

My course of action is written the night before or the morning of the workout as soon as I wake up, because typically I already have an idea of what muscle groups needs to be worked on or have a program I am following and so having it written down will allow me to stay accountable and also allow me to keep track of everything. I have two whole notebooks full of workouts and tons of random sheets of papers with all my workouts since day one of keeping track of my workouts – I am able to look back on everything I have done (but I also have another purpose intended for why I do this).

 

Sometimes in order to get results you have to do trial and error and keeping up with your workouts will be helpful to you in doing so. I even have to track my eating habits come Monday, so I have an app for that and I am debating on having a notebook for it but that might be a little redundant (but helpful if I lose my phone, etc) anyways, the point is, when you come to the gym prepared it lessens the time having to think about what to do and puts more emphasis on the actual workout time, it might help take away some anxiety, it allows you to remain accountable, it will increase your likelihood of sticking with a program, tracks your plateaus, allows you to make new goals for yourself, and in the long run might serve as an reward for all the hard work you put in! 

 

Do you track your workouts? how do you track them – paper or electronically?

 

Fitness WonderWoman

Shay-lon

Tip #5: Do deadlifts right, or learn how

So, today’s tip goes along with a particular exercise – the DEADLIFT! we might have talked about this before but I want to get it ingrained in your mind – WATCH YOUR FORM, DO THE CORRECT TECHNIQUE! If you want to lift heavier weight, do it the right way, because on your journey to being Mr/Miss “Badass” you will find out REAL quick that lifting heavy don’t mean shit if you can’t do it properly and safely. I love lifting, & like the majority of you, I love lifting heavier weights because it just feels so good and gives us that ego boost – you know I am right! lol. In the same context, there is no point in lifting heavy if I can’t properly do it and end up with an injury that puts me on my ass for months at a time because I thought I’d be a cool kid and not listen to Shay’s advice and lift it however the fuck I want. Well guess what buddy?! GO ahead and lift it however the fuck you choose, but when and if you should hurt yourself, don’t come to this post talking loads of crap about how nobody told me so, or “I have been doing it this way for years” or any other excuse that comes out like gas and smells because I will not respond with a smile on my face. If the weight is to heavy for you to do it correctly, then suck up your pride and put your ego aside and lower it and work up to it gradually. 

 

If you are a personal trainer, you should know better and should be watching your client’s form and technique, no excuses because ask yourself, do you want your client injured? do you want the possibility of losing them as a client? NO, so pay attention! 

 

Listen to my podcast over aRomanian deadlift advice

Fitness WonderWoman

Shay-lon

Tip #4: choose your running style

Choosing your run style is what will create a better space for you when you get into the zone. I don’t particularly like running long distance and so I don’t force myself to in order to get results, I have found that as I have gotten older, I prefer short burst of speed vs long distance & it works for me because I am able to do it, see results and it challenges me. I will be the first person to raise my hand and admit that I am not a huge cardio fan , BUT it doesn’t mean I don’t implement in my workouts, I have to, so I do but I find ways to do it that keep me on my toes, make it more fun and challenging and gives me a reason to continue to utilize it in my workouts. 

 

The point I am trying to get across is, running can be done in different ways, different variations and on different terrains. For those of you who LOVE running for longer periods of time, do it, and for those of you who hate running and would much rather run shorter periods of time, DO IT! because regardless of what style who you choose, it will show results. If you want to challenge yourself, add in hills, or intervals or resisted running. Not saying that it will change your mind about cardio or running but it can make it a lot easier on you when you find a running style that serves you best. 

 

I mentioned my kind of running is sprints .. and I also enjoy interval running and resisted running when I am feeling up to the challenge. What is your favorite type of running style? and if I didn’t list it, feel free to add it in the comments! 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon 

via GIPHY

 

Fitness/health Tip #3: Quality of life

https://soundcloud.com/shay-lonfitnesswonderwoman-moss-fitness-wonderwoman/fitness-health-advice-3

To have a good “quality of life” is important for good health. We seem to always strive for a nice physique, for wealth and success – which is fine. But some of the more happiest of people, more healthiest of people, & genuine of people tend to have a quality of life that is rather amazing. When I say quality of life, I mean overall, how you choose to live your day-to-day, how you take care of yourself mentally and physically and the attitude you give off to others and the type of people you allow in your circle. All of which add up to your quality of life, and some people find their quality of life changes as they age and become more versed with the world and all it has to offer & become more picky as to how they spend their life. I want to strive to have a good quality of life, to have my priorities in order and be somebody that others can see that in the way I carry myself, my attitude and values. 

 

Have you ever thought about what it means to have a good quality of life? what does it mean to you? 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon