365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 47

10.19.18

What rules or standards do you live by?

  • I have a number of rules and standards that I try to live by the best way I know how. Some of which you may have heard of it and some you have not. All of these rules/standards can somewhat be summed up by my morals and belief system. While this may not be an all exclusive list, it is a decent amount. 
  1. “Treat the janitor with the same respect as you would the CEO” — this is something I was taught by my grandmother, and to be honest, I love this saying because we tend to treat people differently due to their status quo. The CEO puts his pants on the same way as either you or I. 
  2. Don’t allow someone to back you into a corner mentally, or physically & if they do, come out fighting. Basically what this means is, we can only manage to handle so much before we explode, we shouldn’t allow someone(s) to get us to the point where we just continue to take the hits they give us. If we don’t learn to stand up for ourselves than we will continue to allow someone to take advantage of us. Sometimes to come out swinging, means to STOP putting up with people’s crap. 
  3. Your body can handle the challenges that your mind thinks you can’t. The body can be pushed further than what the mind allows. Don’t allow your thinking to get the best of you. 
  4. Guilt can kill a man, therefore, make choices in which you won’t feel guilty about later & make them wisely. If you know a choice will cause you pain later, then maybe it is time to rethink your choice(s) so that you don’t have to live with this kind of guilt. Sometimes guilt plays on us without our control due to circumstances, but we have to learn to let go of it, and move on. We can’t move on properly if we live a life full of regrets. 
  5. Take risk because they can sometimes lead us to great opportunities. 
  6. Be a leader, not a boss. People don’t want to be told what to do, they want to be led by someone who will do the work with them. People don’t like being bossed around, they prefer to be asked & if you live your life trying to be a boss, you will earn less respect in the long run, but if you live your life as a leader, respect will gradually grow and with respect will come trust and a group of people who will stand alongside of you. 
  7. “Treat people the way you want to be treated”
  8. An open mind builds a bigger perspective. Living inside a closed box doesn’t allow you to see everything from different viewpoints. If you keep an open mind, you will see the world in many different perspectives and have respect for many different voices of reason. 
  9. Take accountability for your actions
  10. The type of people you surround yourself with, usually is a good indicator of the type of person you are
  11. “Close mouths don’t get fed”. If you don’t speak up, you won’t be heard
  12. Be yourself, those that like you will like you for who you are & those that don’t like you, won’t matter.
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365-Days of Self Discovery

Day Four

What are your worst traits?

this is one of those questions where people become vulnerable and scare of how people will perceive them after admitting to their flaws. It is almost like we have this thought, that because we have these traits that aren’t so good, we are somehow damaged goods that nobody wants; but in my opinion, it can be quite liberating to talk about our flaws, because it gives you a sense of humbleness and allows for you to re-evaluate yourself and choices. Many people don’t think about their character flaws, so this question is good for that purpose, it is good to talk about what characteristics about yourself need work. We are human, so everyone has a flaws, sometimes we see them and sometimes we don’t. 

My traits I consider to be worst:

  1. I can be somewhat judgemental towards people due to their outer appearance or how they present themselves
  2. I have a hard time speaking to people/engaging in conversation without rambling or having an awkwardness about me because of my social anxiety
  3. My anger, how abrupt it can be without thought
  4. My ego, I don’t realize sometimes that my confidence can come off as arrogant to some people and perceive me as snobby or “above” them. 
  5. My own self doubt, I know I mentioned how ambitious and motivated I am, BUT many times, I give up putting in effort into something when it doesn’t bring results right away or put off the project in fear of failure
  6. I can be somewhat clingy when in a relationship, not the stage 3 clinger but I have a habit of ignoring everyone else around me and cutting people out of my life due to being a relationship and only focusing on the relationship — not my best trait 
  7. Being extremely hard on myself when I don’t excel at something or when I feel as though I am stagnant & not progressing in my life compared to other people. 
  8. Talking lowly of myself, I use negative things to counteract the positive that someone shares with me about myself, it just happens without thought & now I am being more self conscious about it because I want to love myself  & understand myself more.

Now this was again one of those questions where it might be harder for some to admit to their faults but If you are up to the task, I would love to have you guys leave comments about what you would consider your worst traits. We aren’t perfect & as long as we are aware of these flaws and making steps towards making them a positive force in our lives, I believe there is nothing wrong with having them. Thanks for reading, feel free to follow, share, like, comment 🙂

Shay-lon

 

Been Gone for awhile

If any of you follow me on social media, you are probably aware that I had a really downward spire rough week & avoided contact with social media, friends, family, etc. I won’t get into specifics, but I have been gone for quite a while (due to circumstances) happening in my life that came unplanned and unwanted — Today is my first day back on the blog & social media in “full swing” again. The past week or so hasn’t been easy and honestly, it is only because of prayer and having the courage to get back up again when I felt dark that I am even able to write about it. Naturally, sometimes circumstances give you a chance to look at yourself with more clarity and find ways to focus on self healing, self discovery and possibly rely on some form of spiritual sense. Well as cliche as it might sound, that’s exactly what this situation left me to do besides laying in bed all day with no motivation and no drive to talk or be apart of life’s endeavors — I have decided to take on some books that hopefully will be a positive force within my life and future & I have started meditation once more, hopefully sticking with it this time, I am going to take some steps to help myself journal my self discovery and really dive into myself & try to make myself happy with what I plan on doing. It will be some steps and quite the voyage, but I feel it will be worth it. 

I pretty much will be going back to my normal routine but with some added bonuses to my daily lifestyle & my main focus will be building myself emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally while building my career as a Personal Trainer. I know I have been back and forth with a schedule that works for my readers so that I stay more consistent with blogging & I plan on doing that as well (coming up with a schedule) and now that my mind is less overwhelmed, I will surely do this and let people know what will be happening with the blog(s). I have many topics but I have been working on a personal website for my business, and I plan on blogging there as well, so I want to leave many topics for that particular website when it gets finished up (& yes some topics will be from this blog as well/perhaps with a new frame of mind) I need to find a way to keep myself accountable with the self discovery and meditation — so I may decide to take part in a challenge for a year or use the blog to keep me on the right path (we shall see). I will be using a journal to document my daily thoughts, emotions, the agenda and events — good and bad to keep me aware of myself. Hopefully in the end, this is something that will help to heal and build me with a new form of appreciation for myself. 

I currently downloaded a meditation app that I have been doing for the past 4 days & it has been wonderful; if anyone wants information on it, feel free to ask, maybe we can connect. Outside of that, I will be back on social media tomorrow to reply and show support — I appreciate all of you whom have been nothing but a great positive force within my blog career and life. Much appreciated and looking forward to speaking soon!

P.S I don’t have a consistent plan/routine yet for my self healing or self discovery yet, so if you have nay books, any journals or articles (whatever resource) that you would recommend, feel free to leave it in the comments, as it would bring me great joy to further my research and find a way that works best for me through your help.

Shay-lon 

BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 
 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 


But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 


When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 


Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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Tip #6

Come to the Gym with a Plan in Hand

I am a huge advocate with coming to the gym with a “plan in hand”. Now for some of you, you already do this and for others of you, you don’t like having all the extra papers lying around or don’t like bringing your electronics to the gym with you BUT I am telling you, as tedious as it might seem, it is always better to come to the gym with exercises you already have planned out vs coming to the gym and having to pace around or stay on the treadmill until you decide what to do next. 

My course of action is written the night before or the morning of the workout as soon as I wake up, because typically I already have an idea of what muscle groups needs to be worked on or have a program I am following and so having it written down will allow me to stay accountable and also allow me to keep track of everything. I have two whole notebooks full of workouts and tons of random sheets of papers with all my workouts since day one of keeping track of my workouts – I am able to look back on everything I have done (but I also have another purpose intended for why I do this).

 

Sometimes in order to get results you have to do trial and error and keeping up with your workouts will be helpful to you in doing so. I even have to track my eating habits come Monday, so I have an app for that and I am debating on having a notebook for it but that might be a little redundant (but helpful if I lose my phone, etc) anyways, the point is, when you come to the gym prepared it lessens the time having to think about what to do and puts more emphasis on the actual workout time, it might help take away some anxiety, it allows you to remain accountable, it will increase your likelihood of sticking with a program, tracks your plateaus, allows you to make new goals for yourself, and in the long run might serve as an reward for all the hard work you put in! 

 

Do you track your workouts? how do you track them – paper or electronically?

 

Fitness WonderWoman

Shay-lon

Podcast Radio: Fitness/health advice #6

Come to the gym with a plan in hand

https://soundcloud.com/shay-lonfitnesswonderwoman-moss-fitness-wonderwoman/sounds-from-tuesday-afternoon

Motivation Before JULY 4TH

Chalkboard, Quote

Keep in mind:

  • Continue to stay on track with goals 
  • don’t give up
  • don’t forget to make mistakes, then be happy you can learn from it
  • remember every choice has a consequence (good and or bad)
  • Hold YOURSELF accountable 
  • Stay positive
  • Have Fun!