I have Social Anxiety (Mental Health Awareness)

I will be first in line to admit that I have social anxiety (I believe I have mentioned this many times before) and while many people are in shock when I tell them this, because I come off outgoing and very talkative – this doesn’t mean anything, just means I mask it fairly well – not to mention, if you don’t understand social anxiety and what it means, you might not know what to look for when I am put in situations where I react. Now with this being said, this post will be both informative and yet, I will speak from my own experience as well, so hopefully you enjoy stories and perspective. I will start with the basics, what does it mean to have “social anxiety”?

 

Social anxiety is fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people BUT,  it stems from having a fear or anxiety of being negatively judged or evaluated by other people. —- I have dealt with this fear ALL MY LIFE and it sucks because I wanted to be more like the ones who “don’t care what others think” but even when I try, I know deep down I still care (even when I play if off like I don’t) now with this being said, yes, there have been times where I literally do not give a shit about what others think of me, or how they perceive me, and that usually is when I am at the gym or grocery store because I just feel like I have built confidence in those scenarios/environments. Although if you put me inside a new gym or a grocery store in a different town or area, my social anxiety will kick in because it is a new surrounding with new faces and I don’t know how to handle it.. so I just freak out in my mind. For some people they avoid situations like so, but I have learned to force myself to step outside my comfort level and make myself intentionally uncomfortable in order to fight my anxiety. 

 

Now let’s discuss some of the symptoms & I’ll share which ones i have, if any:

 
  • Rapid heart beat- this is another one I experience
  • blushing or sweating- sweating is one for me
  • feeling of mind going blank – I have this one
  • makes little to no eye contact 
  • speaks with overly soft voice
  • self conscious in front of others, feeling of embarrassed or awkward – This one I have
  • Being very afraid that other people will judge them – this one I have
  • Stay away from places where there are other people

Now, as you can see, I have quite a few signs/symptoms and some people have more or less, and not every situation do all these sign/symptoms display themselves. I personally know another sign/symptom that people I have dated have noticed and even people I have talked to, I tend to ramble when I speak in a conversation with someone, especially if I am interested in someone, or if I don’t know how to end a conversation, or if my nerves are all over the place. I know my ex used to mention that I ramble a lot on and off the phone and she would make jokes about it and I knew that sometimes it was awkward but since that relationship, I have been trying to get better at catching myself ramble and doing it less often. I guess for me, it is really tough to not ramble, because it is my way of comforting my anxiety or “hiding” it, but when people notice and make light of it, it makes me feel a little discouraged at times or feel insecure or puts me in an awkward position where I don’t know what to do or how to handle it – and that just means I went from social anxiety to now I am upset with myself and feeling really embarrassed by my actions. None of my friends or family have ever made comments on my rambling and that might be because I don’t ramble with them .. it’s weird, but also I am comfortable with them. I never notice other’s with social anxiety, it goes over my head if someone does and they are talking to me, because I am so focused on my own response and reactions & trying to come off less awkward that if anything I just assume you are shy and nothing more. 

 

Another thing I have noticed is, depending on the person and type of compliment they give me, I tend to get weird and say quick thank yous without even looking in your direction or I am pleasant and want to connect with you and my thank you comes off more friendly. I handle compliments better coming from females vs males as well. For some reason, I have yet to ever be awkward with a female who compliments me, but when it comes to males, it happens often unless I am comfortable with the male figure. Growing up, it wasn’t always like this but as I got older, it started to make sense as to why (& we won’t get into that at this point) but regardless I love compliments but handle them differently depending the nature of them, the sex and how comfortable I am with that person. I have known both, people who are flattered by compliments and others who get really tense and don’t like them.   

 

Causes:

There is NO one cause of it, but many factors that can lead to one possibly having social anxiety – but doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to get it just because you happen to have these issues but the chances could be greater. 

My mom has social anxiety and her’s is worse than mine, I would say, but she reacts to it differently than I do, on the other hand both of my younger siblings don’t seem to have it from the outside looking in, but I am not a professional so I wouldn’t actually know if they did unless they told me – so families can carry this trait. 

Misreading people’s behaviors toward you can be another cause of social anxiety- and I think I am decent at reading people, but I do tend to over analyze at times.

Underdeveloped social skills – this is a possible cause for myself. Growing up, I had friends but I was always the awkward duck, I didn’t know how to properly interact with others and not feel like an outcast and I think because I lacked some self confidence at times, I was always doing weird shit or saying weird random shit that in my mind was my way of trying to fit in but in reality was probably causing people to think I was weird or pushing people away. I developed a more comical personality in order to handle social situations and instead would always be the class clown and make people laugh and that is how I combated my own issues. 

 

As far as treatment goes, I never saw a professional for it, never had therapy or medication for it, and I refuse to go that far for myself because I think I have more of a handle on it now than I did in the past and I don’t feel like mine is very severe compared to other cases. I have learned to mask some of it, in order to push through and I have learned that if I force myself to confront my anxiety by stepping outside my comfort zone, it helps to build my confidence and encourages me to find ways to manage it better. For example, last year and previous years, I would go to Columbus here in Ohio for a weekend and stay in a hotel by myself and explore the city – downtown area, just walk and explore the stores, bars, etc all alone and  by doing that, I met people, I learned to find my own way and to handle situations that would make me uncomfortable and I loved doing that. This year, I went to a bar in my town alone, and the first time it went well, but the second time it went horribly and so I haven’t done it since then but I might consider doing it again at a different point in my life. My new goals to battle my social anxiety is to attend a movie alone and to eat at a restaurant alone because I am so used to doing them both with friends or family, so I want to step outside my comfort zone and do them by myself – also, I would like to attend a concert by myself and would love to drive out of town by myself again and explore another area .. so those are all goals to help me. 

 

I would love to hear from all of you with social anxiety, speak on what helps you, or try one of these ways of coping and let me know if it worked. If you enjoyed this post, like, comment, share and follow! 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 
 
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PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Mental health awarenesss

Welcome back bloggers to another mental health Thursday post! I hope all of you have been enjoying my mental health Thursday post, raising awareness on mental health and making it less of an omen & giving understanding. I am not sure if any of you have heard of PTSD, but if you have, you probably have commonly heard war veterans speak on it — but it isn’t exclusively happening to just war veterans but also the general population as well. I know someone personally who has PTSD, hell, I probably know more than a couple of people and each of them handle it differently and have different reasons as to why they have it. I won’t discuss their stories because that is private information but if anyone wants to leave in the comments or email me their own experience, that is fine, otherwise I don’t expect people to be as open about their experiences because it becomes really personal. 

 

Now keep in mind, all my information about PTSD does NOT mean that it is the same for everyone, everyone is an individual case so treat my answers as such. If you know someone who has PTSD, I am either hoping this will help give you insight, possible understanding and perhaps help you have a better handle on things because I dated someone who allegedly had PTSD (wasn’t brought to my attention until the break up) and the way they explained it, they couldn’t but I could tell something wasn’t right at the time with this person and while they never did get a diagnosis; they figured they did enough research to narrow it down to PTSD — I wish I could have known sooner because maybe it wouldn’t have been too late to look into handling a relationship with someone with possible PTSD but with that being said, many spouses who live with someone with this condition, it can sometimes be stressful and very exhausting if you don’t understand or if you are feeling abandoned, it is never easy to put your foot into someone else’s shoes if you have never experienced what they have experienced and while we sympathize with them, it doesn’t mean we have a hold on the issue at hand – because sometimes we don’t, sometimes we find ourselves thinking we ‘got it’ just to find out we we’re way wrong, and that’s okay because we are only human. 

 

What is PTSD?

 
  • Failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event 

Not everyone with PTSD has gone through a painful event – losing a loved one can also cause this to happen. 

Symptoms

  • Flashbacks/reliving the event (nightmares, etc)
  • scary thoughts
  • Avoiding places, or situations that remind you of the event
  • Might have more negative beliefs or feelings
  • hyperarousal
  • feelings of hopelessness, shame or dispair
  • possible drinking or drug issues
  • employment issues may occur
  • relationship issues may occur
  • depression 
  • anxiety
  • many of the symptoms depending on the severity could lead to suicide.. 

Children with PTSD

  • Might experience bed wetting habits
  • Forgetting how to or being unable to talk
  • Acting out the event during playtime
  • Could be unusually clingy to a parent or other adult
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Act out the event through drawings 
  • Could become more irritable or aggressive
  • Might have problems with friends, or school work
  • might try to avoid going to school
  • depression as they get older
  • anxiety
  • withdrawal or possible reckless behavior as they get older

Risk Factors

PTSD can happen at any age! 

  • war veterans
  • sexual abuse
  • physical abuse
  • loss of a loved one
  • witnessing a dangerous event happen to a loved one
  • childhood trauma
  • having a history of mental illness
  • having little to no social support after the event
  • Stress after the event can make PTSD more likely

With this being said, PTSD can occur soon after the event or take months to years before it triggers & it can come and go. Again, everyone is different. 

 

Treatment:

  • Psychotherapy for PTSD
  • Medications

The ONE thing is for sure, we always want to push people to ask for help, but sometimes that person doesn’t always realize they have an actual issue and some people live in denial. You can offer help, but doesn’t mean they will take it. I once told somebody: “getting help seems easy to do coming from people from the outside looking in, but for me, it is letting go of my pride, being vulnerable and accepting it and that’s just not easy to do” so take that how you will, but in knowing my own situation, my anxiety and how it hinders me sometimes – that’s how I feel about things, hints why I have never sought out help BUT don’t do as I do, do what works best for you, and your circumstances because help is important in order to better handle things sometimes. I will mention, my anxiety is A LOT better than where it used to be but it probably would have saved me a whole hell of lot more to seek help back when. It’s never too late to ask for help or seek a professional, so don’t give up on yourself. 

 

P.S I will always be honest with my readers about how I handled my own mental health issues and break downs, etc and I will be the FIRST person to say, I don’t seek professional help for things I go through, because I just deal with it & sometimes I pay a hell of a lot of consequences and sometimes I come out okay, but regardless, my pride and stubbornness gets the best of me,  and that’s why I am a bad example , lol 

 

Hope all of you have enjoyed this post, be sure to like, comment,share and follow!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 

Multiple Personality (Mental Health Awareness)

Thursday is mental health awareness on my blog.

I make it known to you the different kinds of mental health conditions and illnesses that may be overlooked, looked down upon & hope it gives you some insight – if not insight, then some interest in wanting to do your own research. I have always said and will continue to say, I am all for keeping a mental balance, one that is just as important as your physical attributes if not more important. Today’s topic of choice is “Multiple personality”, many of you may have studied this, or perhaps deal with this condition, and myself, has worked with individuals first hand who have this condition and many others. I might not understand 100 percent everything that comes with this, but having learned from watching, from textbooks and online research, I have learned quite a bit. My hope is that my viewers (you) will come forth and share what you know with me and my readers because I always appreciate more information that is current or will help people to understand. 

 

What is ‘Multiple Personality”

Another word for this is “Dissociative Identity Disorder” –

When two or more identities, or personality states are present in and alternatively taking control of an individual. 

 
  • Some individuals can have two and others can have 30.. it all ranges. 

Characterized by a fragmentation, or splintering, of identity rather than by proliferation, or growth of separate identities” PsychologyToday

  • “Certain circumstances can cause or stressors can cause a particular identity to emerge, and the various identities may deny knowledge of one another, be critical of one another or in conflict with one another” psychologytoday

Symptoms:

  • memory loss of specific times, people and events
  • possible out of body experiences
  • depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide
  • detachment from your emotions
  • lack of sense of self identity

Causes:

  • No definite answer but said to have come from trauma (sexual or physical abuse) – developing a way to deal with the trauma
  • combat and natural disasters can cause DID as well

Treatment:

  • Psychotherapies 
  • medications – none of which treat the disorder but can help treat the mental health conditions (depression, anxiety, etc) 

With proper treatment of this disorder, it is said that many can improve their ability to function in their occupation and personal lives. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

I Did a GUEST POST: College & Fitness

https://designandscheme.com/2017/08/08/college-fitness/

Alright everyone, 

for those of you who didn’t know, I was asked to do a guest blog for a friend about college and fitness – preparing high school seniors for college and freshmen college students for what is to come. I share some nifty tips and advice and give you some real world examples of what temptations will lie in the way and share some personal experiences as well. I hope that not only will you support this blog post and share it among your peers, but that you will take the time to check out her blog as a whole because it is also speaks on time management skills. Thank you for your support! leave feedback in the comments!

Fitness Wonder Woman

Shay-lon xo

Bonus Video – YouTube is not TOP priority for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t18ECXoIDnw

In this video, I explain some changes and discuss how YouTube is not TOP priority in my life because I have other obligations and expectations that I want to fulfill in my life at the moment that are more important. I created this video in hopes it would explain what to expect from me and how I plan on going about things from this day forward so no one feels abandoned. 

Paranoid Schizophrenia (Mental Health Post)

Mental health is just as important as physical health, if not more important. 

 

Hello bloggers, as scheduled today would be mental health awareness by discussing a mental health condition. I chose this particular one because I don’t know anyone who has been diagnosed with it close to me and I didn’t know very much about it to be able to discuss so I had fun being able to research it and gain some understanding. I did happen to know some basics but enough to be able to write about it, so I post some links for this one to sites I used briefly or that I sited so that you can also read up on it, if it something of interest to you. 

 

What is Paranoid Schizophrenia?

 
  • When your mind doesn’t agree with reality – this is the way I understand it and the easiest way of explaining it so others can understand & the same way this site put it.
  • A lifelong illness
  • Affects how you think and behave

Symptoms:

  • Auditory disturbances
  • unexplained anger
  • emotional disconnectedness
  • sever anxiety and agitation
  • argumentive behavior
  • sometimes violent tendencies
  • Delusions of grandeur
  • frequent suicidal thoughts and behavior

Now there are other symptoms that people with schizophrenia may have that are not listed, so make sure to do your research and get a full understanding because each person handles this differently. 

 

Risk Factors:

Most studies say there is no ONE cause of this illness BUT there are some risk factors that can higher your chances: 

  1. Family history of psychotic disorders
  2. exposure to a viral infection in the womb
  3. fetal malnutrition
  4. stress in early childhood
  5. sexual or physical abuse
  6. older parental age
  7. Use of psychoactive drugs during adolescence 

Treatment:

  • THERE IS NO CURE AT THIS TIME FOR THIS ILLNESS!!!!
  • medications
  • psychotherapy
  • hospitalization
  • ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy)
  • training for social skills and development

Now with this being said, these are methods but they depend on the situation and circumstance, not everyone will agree to take medications or undergo therapies and that is their choice. I know many of them take more than one kind of medication and sometimes more than 2 or 3 depending on their situation and symptoms and the severity. The fact there is no cure for it is disheartening because this is something someone will have to deal with for the rest of their lives & I don’t think it would be easy or easy to explain to others who don’t have it and this is why I do these post so that hopefully it sheds light and brings awareness to the issue at hand. I personally have always believed that mental illness goes unnoticed because people don’t understand and believe them to be omens or ignore them in order to pretend it doesn’t exist (ignorance).  I like to think we are growing and learning and accepting people who may be different than ourselves BUT at the same time there are still people who look down on those with any type of mental illness. I believe in order to help people with their illnesses we have to be open minded and forgiving because it is not always that individuals fault that they have it. So with that being said..

 
  1. Do you know anyone who has this illness? or do yourself have it?
  2. Did you know a lot about this illness or was this something new?
  3. will you share this post to bring awareness to mental health 

Links I used for this post: 

 

Thank you for reading!

 

Fitness Wonderwoman, 

Shay-lon xo

How To Handle Your Gym-Intimidation

The Gym Can be scary for anyone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y73bl-Q2OQ

This was my video on gym-intimidation, make sure to read the description box under the video as well. Thank you 🙂

Energy Drinks|Are They Bad For You?

Hey bloggers,

This post will be quite simple and to the point. I am not a doctor or nutritionist, so to tell you how many energy drinks to consume would be wrong and to tell make those of you who drink them quit would also be wrong. This post is simply to give you some information that maybe you know or didn’t know about consuming energy drinks , mostly cons of course because there are not a lot of pros when it comes to energy drinks and fitness/health. 

 

How many of you consume an energy drink daily? what kinds do you like? why do you consume them? do you prefer them over drinking a can of pop? Do any of you consume them before your workout? – let me know in the comment section! 

 

Some of us like our coffee, some of us love our pop and some of us will smash an energy drink more than 2 twice in a day, we all have our go to beverages, many of them for keeping us awake and giving us some kind of “needed energy” to make it through our day. Nonetheless, is it working out for us okay? I don’t particularly drink energy drinks (never have been one to rely on beverages for energy or to stay awake) so I am not sure if they actually work , or if it is an individual basis, BUT I do know some things people should keep in mind when consuming these beverages. 

 
 
  • Caffeine and other stimulants that are added to energy drinks can boost heart rate and blood pressure  – this could lead to death if consuming too many. 
  • Some companies have added alcohol in their energy drinks, studies have shown that it can lead to possibly dependence on alcohol (especially younger people who consume more energy drinks throughout the day)
  • The drinks can disrupt the balance of salts in our bodies, which can lead to ‘arrhythmia’
  • Some studies have said that consuming energy drinks can lead to more drug use of pain killers (stimulants) – this something they are doing more research on. 
  • Excessive levels of caffeine can impair cognition. 
  • Niacin is a main ingredient in many energy drinks & is known to cause dizziness and rapid heart rate.
  • Can be addicting – like many other things in life (which is not good for the health overall)
  • Drinking too many energy drinks can cause insomnia – making it difficult to fall asleep.
  • Some people can jitters & anxiety from drinking energy drinks

So these are a list of things you may want to keep in mind when choosing to drink an energy drink and how many you decide to consume. There are tons of studies that have been going on in order to determine other ways energy drinks effect the body and mind. It would be a good idea to do some extra research on your own time as well and open your mind to other alternatives so that you don’t consume too many in a day. Thank you for reading, please share, like, comment and follow my blog!

 

Your Fitness Blogger,

Shay-lon xxo

 

Fitness Magazine “Pitch”

pitch

Hello Fellow Bloggers,

I have some good news to share with all of you today. I wanted to announce that I have got in contact with the Editor in Chief of “Muscle & Fitness” Magazine on twitter, asking him if they were interested in having a writer for their magazine and he ended up sending me a private message back on twitter, asking that I send him a “pitch” to be considered for the job/article. I am very honored and over joyed, but I am very nervous and anxious, I have never had to send someone a “pitch” before and I was at work getting this news, so it was hard to focus on work when I was deciding what topic to talk about. Nonetheless, I found the topic that I want to pitch to him about and I am hoping I get a chance to write for this magazine, because it would truly be a dream come true. It could be the break I need, the highlight of my year, it could go either way; I could get the job and write an article or I could flop and have to savage what would be left of my self confidence and dignity.  I will not  lie when I say I am very, very, very, very, scared. As of now I will be doing my homework on writing a “good” pitch and provide him with my pitch before I go to bed, wish me luck, I am going to need it. Worse case scenario, I tried, right?!

Your Fitness blogger,

Shay-lon xoxo

How do you manage your stress?

Hello bloggers!

Today’s problems that we can and cannot control can sometimes give us the most stress, the financial burdens, our relationships, our work load, if you have children or pets, sometimes our neighbors or bosses, the weather, the town or environment we live in, death, our past we hold onto, school, struggling to self- identify, our religions, not meeting a goal, our anxieties, fears, sleep deprived, illnesses, sexual desires not being met, lack of self esteem and confidence, struggling between what is right and what is wrong, sports, family members, holidays, birthdays, moving from one place to another, being homeless, losing your job, not having transportation, not understanding, anger, confusion, negativity, handicaps, losing, comparing, health, being a hero, struggling, etc. I could name so many things that could bring on stress on a daily basis for each and every one of us. I named just a few that I know are fairly common reasons for why people are stressful.  As a matter of fact, I am sure one of you reading this might be feeling somewhat stressed for one or more of these reasons and not even realize it. I know I have stresses, I was just stressing the other day and I am in a grumpy not yet stressful mood now (just woke up in pain and have a lot on my mind).  So, even myself has stress, more stress than I actually want in my life and sometimes more than I can handle.  The problem isn’t that we ALL stress at some point in our lives, the problem is HOW we handle the stress when it comes knocking at our doors.  I can share with all of you ways some people handle it: alcohol, drugs, violence, hate, greed, addictions, obsessions, emotionally disconnecting, running from it, bottling their feelings/thoughts, taking over the counter medications, suicide, etc. I realize this list isn’t the list we want to come to terms with, but more than likely someone has handled stress in one of those ways and not saying what they did was WRONG, because we cannot preach something if we have no idea how that person is feeling or what they went through, but there are BETTER ways to manage stress, more productive ways that prevent us from going down a road that is dark and lonely. 

I am hoping this list of ways to manage stress will come of use to those of you and myself when we run into a stressful situation and need something to help us get by. “Sometimes we think we have it bad, but bad only exist when we allow it to conquer who we are as a person” -Shay-lon Moss

How do you manage stress: 

  1. Ask yourself what can you do about the sources of stress (what is causing your stress)
  2. Keep a positive, realistic attitude (hard to do, but only you can do it for you)
  3. Learn and practice relaxation techniques (some may find this helpful and others will not)
  4. Exercise (cliche because I workout, but exercise is said to help)
  5. Eat healthier (take care of your health)
  6. Manage your time wisely (set goals, to do list, plan, etc) 
  7. Say no when necessary to things that add more stress in your life
  8. Make more time for hobbies and interest (this is important)
  9. Get enough sleep (this is also very important and for some hard to do)
  10. Don’t rely on alcohol, drugs or food in order to ease your mind, it will be short term and will only be more stressful down the road.
  11. Spend more time with people you love being around (people who are doing well, people who love and support you, people that make you laugh or smile)
  12. Talk with a professional or look into taking a stress management class 
  13. Listening to music has said to help with getting your mind of the stressful situation

Sometimes it isn’t about coping, it is about allowing everything to come to surface.  I always tell myself and others when they are enduring stressful situations to allow tears and madness out, because keeping it in, fucks with your mind. 

This is what could happen if you don’t manage your stress: 
 
It can wear down the body’s natural defenses and cause symptoms: 
  1. Dizziness (being out of it)
  2. General aches and pains
  3. Grinding your teeth
  4. headaches 
  5. indigestion
  6. increase or loss of appetite
  7. muscle tension in neck, face or shoulders
  8. Problems sleeping
  9. Racing heart
  10. Cold and sweaty palms
  11. Tiredness and exhaustion
  12. Shaking 
  13. Weight gain or loss
  14. Upset stomach and/or diarrhea
  15. Sexual issues
  16. Being irritable, impatient or forgetful
“Stress is something we want to avoid, but avoiding it becomes more stressful” -Shay-lon Moss
Your Fitness blogger,
Shay-lon xoxo