365 Days of Self Discovery: Health & Well-Being

8.16.19

Day 8

How do you feel about others seeing your body? For example, at the beach?

  • My only issue with exposing my body is the initial response of having to undress into my bikini (taking off the clothes that hide my bikini) but once I have fully revealed myself to the public within seconds, my main focus changes from worrying what others think to worrying about how cold the water is, LOL. It does take me awhile (a lot of contemplating) to even get to the point where I am in my bikini, many times it takes someone else to urge me to get into the water before I even consider it. The only other time this would bother me is if I notice someone staring or watching me the whole time, it gives me anxiety and makes me feel uncomfortable ( I know people will glance ) but I don’t like when people stare. Many people see me as someone in great shape but I don’t always see that through my eyes and it makes me more self conscious.
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Health & Well-Being

8.15.19

Day 7

Are you comfortable looking in the mirror?

  • I haven’t always been. During my junior and senior year of college I struggled with looking in the mirror and even when I was younger I didn’t particularly enjoy looking in a mirror so I carried the habit of avoiding mirrors through my adulthood (unless I HAD to). It took a professor of mine to make it a habit of me having to look in a mirror while exercising to watch my form and technique — before I could do it at the gym & it not bother me. At the time, it was due to my weight gain that I avoided the mirrors and didn’t particularly enjoy seeing myself in the mirror because it was like a constant reminder that I looked gross. I had never had weight issues growing up — always been healthy and lean / so when this happened it terrified me and angered me and gave me anxiety and made me more self conscious about my appearance overall. Now, I have my days where I avoid the mirror in general besides when lifting out of habit when I don’t feel or look the best (but doesn’t have much to do with my body) more so, my overall appearance & I don’t like looking at myself in the fitting room mirrors [[ never have]] because they all differ and many times give me a bad perception of how I look compared to how I feel. 
I have never been comfortable looking in a mirror, so now that I feel more comfortable doing so when I need to or when lifting at the gym, I feel I have come a long way from that fear — and it shows my growth and trying to overcome an obstacle of self worth. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 47

10.19.18

What rules or standards do you live by?

  • I have a number of rules and standards that I try to live by the best way I know how. Some of which you may have heard of it and some you have not. All of these rules/standards can somewhat be summed up by my morals and belief system. While this may not be an all exclusive list, it is a decent amount. 
  1. “Treat the janitor with the same respect as you would the CEO” — this is something I was taught by my grandmother, and to be honest, I love this saying because we tend to treat people differently due to their status quo. The CEO puts his pants on the same way as either you or I. 
  2. Don’t allow someone to back you into a corner mentally, or physically & if they do, come out fighting. Basically what this means is, we can only manage to handle so much before we explode, we shouldn’t allow someone(s) to get us to the point where we just continue to take the hits they give us. If we don’t learn to stand up for ourselves than we will continue to allow someone to take advantage of us. Sometimes to come out swinging, means to STOP putting up with people’s crap. 
  3. Your body can handle the challenges that your mind thinks you can’t. The body can be pushed further than what the mind allows. Don’t allow your thinking to get the best of you. 
  4. Guilt can kill a man, therefore, make choices in which you won’t feel guilty about later & make them wisely. If you know a choice will cause you pain later, then maybe it is time to rethink your choice(s) so that you don’t have to live with this kind of guilt. Sometimes guilt plays on us without our control due to circumstances, but we have to learn to let go of it, and move on. We can’t move on properly if we live a life full of regrets. 
  5. Take risk because they can sometimes lead us to great opportunities. 
  6. Be a leader, not a boss. People don’t want to be told what to do, they want to be led by someone who will do the work with them. People don’t like being bossed around, they prefer to be asked & if you live your life trying to be a boss, you will earn less respect in the long run, but if you live your life as a leader, respect will gradually grow and with respect will come trust and a group of people who will stand alongside of you. 
  7. “Treat people the way you want to be treated”
  8. An open mind builds a bigger perspective. Living inside a closed box doesn’t allow you to see everything from different viewpoints. If you keep an open mind, you will see the world in many different perspectives and have respect for many different voices of reason. 
  9. Take accountability for your actions
  10. The type of people you surround yourself with, usually is a good indicator of the type of person you are
  11. “Close mouths don’t get fed”. If you don’t speak up, you won’t be heard
  12. Be yourself, those that like you will like you for who you are & those that don’t like you, won’t matter.

Random thought — & I just might do it!

It came to me.. & so I have decided to share it with you. 

 

So basically I have decided to take on a 365 day self-discovery impromptu questions — that will help me to hopefully get started on my journey to learning more about myself and what it means to be me. I know each year I will have different answers, and different reasons and experiences — which is why each year I plan on doing this — maybe same questions and maybe different questions. Who knows, all I know is, I want to watch myself unravel (both on paper and online). I know my blog is a fitness/health/wellness based blog & I don’t want that to be sidelined but I have always talked about mental health importance and I feel this fits in with it. Especially for myself. I need to self heal from wounds, I need to find myself and try not to lose grasp of what’s important to me due to other people not accepting it. I need to rediscover parts of me that I have been avoiding for years & try to grow myself from within to have a balance. I realize I will have bad days, and those can’t be avoided 100 percent but now it’s about coping with the bad days and finding a reason to look forward but not hold a longevity grudge that keeps my mind hostage. I don’t want to be held hostage in my own mind and I don’t want to hold myself back from opportunities that could arise here & now or in the near future. 

Along with this self journaling I will be doing, I am going to be on a spiritual walk as well — as best as I can because I am human. This doesn’t mean I am going to be attending church or reading bible scriptures each day of the week — that’s not on my agenda. I just mean I am going to try to do a prayer daily (and not only when I have bad days) but also when the day is good & I am grateful for the fruits of my labor. Along with this spiritual venture, I have decided to give meditation another go and really implement it daily so that I have some form of mental coping mechanisms and clarity more often when I am feeling overwhelmed/stressed/angry/sad, etc. It won’t be easy because I am used to being part of the hustle and bustle but I am going to give it a go and see where what becomes of it. The goal is to post what meditation I did (duration, teacher, explanation & feelings towards it) and how it might have helped or didn’t help me or what I got from it/learned. Again I know this is odd considering the basis of most my post have more to do with the fact I am in a gym, but I needed to add something new for me & hopefully all of you will enjoy it as well. Not to mention, once my website is running, these are some of the “challenges” I will be writing on my personal training site as well so that my readers can get to know me on a less superficial basis and my clients can somewhat understand me. I don’t know how it will all play out, but I am positive something good will come from this. Especially if I plan on doing it for a long time. 

I will continue to post my normal postings, so don’t feel as though I will neglect those, I won’t. I want to enhance my blog to a more lifestyle/fitness/health and wellness blog where it can cover multitudes of body and mind & not just one side of it. I am new to talking about deeper routed issues, so some questions may be harder than others, but I will give it my all. As far as meditation goes, I want to make it into a 365 day challenge as well — with sticking with it and implementing it daily (this will keep me accountable for both). 

&& on a random note, I have been reading more again, & so I may every once in a while post a book I have read and some insight,  those will probably be part of my thursday thoughts post.. since my blog is not a readers digest , lol.  Thank you for being an awesome audience & again, I hope all of you will enjoy the new adventure… it will begin Monday! 

Shay-lon 

Been Gone for awhile

If any of you follow me on social media, you are probably aware that I had a really downward spire rough week & avoided contact with social media, friends, family, etc. I won’t get into specifics, but I have been gone for quite a while (due to circumstances) happening in my life that came unplanned and unwanted — Today is my first day back on the blog & social media in “full swing” again. The past week or so hasn’t been easy and honestly, it is only because of prayer and having the courage to get back up again when I felt dark that I am even able to write about it. Naturally, sometimes circumstances give you a chance to look at yourself with more clarity and find ways to focus on self healing, self discovery and possibly rely on some form of spiritual sense. Well as cliche as it might sound, that’s exactly what this situation left me to do besides laying in bed all day with no motivation and no drive to talk or be apart of life’s endeavors — I have decided to take on some books that hopefully will be a positive force within my life and future & I have started meditation once more, hopefully sticking with it this time, I am going to take some steps to help myself journal my self discovery and really dive into myself & try to make myself happy with what I plan on doing. It will be some steps and quite the voyage, but I feel it will be worth it. 

I pretty much will be going back to my normal routine but with some added bonuses to my daily lifestyle & my main focus will be building myself emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally while building my career as a Personal Trainer. I know I have been back and forth with a schedule that works for my readers so that I stay more consistent with blogging & I plan on doing that as well (coming up with a schedule) and now that my mind is less overwhelmed, I will surely do this and let people know what will be happening with the blog(s). I have many topics but I have been working on a personal website for my business, and I plan on blogging there as well, so I want to leave many topics for that particular website when it gets finished up (& yes some topics will be from this blog as well/perhaps with a new frame of mind) I need to find a way to keep myself accountable with the self discovery and meditation — so I may decide to take part in a challenge for a year or use the blog to keep me on the right path (we shall see). I will be using a journal to document my daily thoughts, emotions, the agenda and events — good and bad to keep me aware of myself. Hopefully in the end, this is something that will help to heal and build me with a new form of appreciation for myself. 

I currently downloaded a meditation app that I have been doing for the past 4 days & it has been wonderful; if anyone wants information on it, feel free to ask, maybe we can connect. Outside of that, I will be back on social media tomorrow to reply and show support — I appreciate all of you whom have been nothing but a great positive force within my blog career and life. Much appreciated and looking forward to speaking soon!

P.S I don’t have a consistent plan/routine yet for my self healing or self discovery yet, so if you have nay books, any journals or articles (whatever resource) that you would recommend, feel free to leave it in the comments, as it would bring me great joy to further my research and find a way that works best for me through your help.

Shay-lon 

BeGreatGuys Post #4 — Being Average is Okay

Nowadays, people are striving to be the “best”, the best at sports, work, parenting, school, etc. It seems people steer themselves in the direction of competition in order to come out first, to be granted a reward, to be applauded, and to be remembered as someone with importance. In my opinion, the best thing to do is “be your best self” and that doesn’t mean winning at every sport or getting straight A’s in school; it means living life trying to have a good character, to stand up for what’s right when necessary, following your values/morals that correlate with who you are & choosing to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who don’t want to see you mentally exhausting yourself to be first place ALL THE TIME , but will also be there when you lose. 

 

Being average, doesn’t have to mean being complacent, or going through life with no aspirations — all that average means, is being okay with not being perfect in every aspect of your life and being okay with making mistakes, with losing a game, with getting a C on a test and studying hard next time to strive for that B+ & not weighing yourself down with comparisons to others, and obsessions of winning or being known by many. If all that attended your funeral were your family members and 3 close friends, would you be okay with that? or would you be the one to say, “nobody cares about me, only this many people attended” .. does the number that attends your funeral make a difference in how you feel about yourself? because if you think that having 100 people at your funeral is any better, try having 100 people at your funeral but only 5 of them actually care and have something they can share; memories, pictures, stories, and friendships — all the while the other 95 people attended just because they felt bad and didn’t want to be mean by not attending and didn’t even know who you really were (they liked you because you always won first place) but the second you lose first place, you lose those 95 people who you thought cared. 

 

Yes, strive for success and be great at things, excel in school and work. Compete in sports, be nominated for a prize for your efforts and continue to dream big — but don’t forget that being average doesn’t mean you suck, or that you can’t win, or that you are 2nd place loser. Being average is okay, because being average awards you the same gratification; you made progress, you did better and you might not have won every race or scored more points than your opponent but you tried and trying is way better than wishing you had. Being average doesn’t make you weak, fat or ugly, it means you are perfectly okay with being who you are because you love yourself and don’t need the audience to validate your worth; you don’t need a trophy, a fan club, a billboard in order to know you have a good character, you have flaws but don’t use them to weigh you down and that you put your effort into something you love- win or lose. You don’t need to know you are the best, to feel your best. 

 

I would know what being average is, because I am average and I love it all the same. 

 

“The best part about not winning all the time, is being able to lose and still walk away with a win; you kept the same attitude as you would have winning” -Shay-lon 

 
 

Fitness/health Tip #3: Quality of life

https://soundcloud.com/shay-lonfitnesswonderwoman-moss-fitness-wonderwoman/fitness-health-advice-3

To have a good “quality of life” is important for good health. We seem to always strive for a nice physique, for wealth and success – which is fine. But some of the more happiest of people, more healthiest of people, & genuine of people tend to have a quality of life that is rather amazing. When I say quality of life, I mean overall, how you choose to live your day-to-day, how you take care of yourself mentally and physically and the attitude you give off to others and the type of people you allow in your circle. All of which add up to your quality of life, and some people find their quality of life changes as they age and become more versed with the world and all it has to offer & become more picky as to how they spend their life. I want to strive to have a good quality of life, to have my priorities in order and be somebody that others can see that in the way I carry myself, my attitude and values. 

 

Have you ever thought about what it means to have a good quality of life? what does it mean to you? 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon