3 Month Break – Training a Friend

Girl, Sadness, Dark

Ugh… One of the hardest things I had to do, actually not really, but it was difficult. I decided that I would take 3 months away from training John. I know, no one throw torches at me, there is a good reason and one that hopefully he will understand. I have been doing some inner thinking these past 4-5 days and I needed to figure shit out. I needed to figure out what I am doing with my life at 24 years of age and how what I am doing is benefiting me, if it is at all. This particular thinking included: personal life, my mental health, my physical well-being, career wise, and future goals – not to mention wanting to pass my exam. I volunteered to help my friend because I wanted to see him grow and do better for himself, and I wanted to practice and get better at doing what I love, build confidence within myself and learn to better manage my social anxiety when I am talking to people. He didn’t have to pay me, nor was he under any obligation to keep me as his trainer and vice versa, we had that agreement.  I did this purely to help me, help him and make a difference in his life just a little bit so he could build up some confidence in working out at the gym. I think he has come a way, and still needs work but with time and motivation and the proper discipline, he can do it.

The hardest part about training someone is when they don’t see results, well when trainers don’t see results. I am not used to this, because people I helped prior while in college, they shown some kind of positive results, not HUGE results, but results they were proud of and it made me proud as well. It seemed like at all of John’s weigh ins, except for one when he lost 1 pound, he was complacent or gaining weight and it always  came down to nutrition, what he has eaten, how much of it he has eaten, how long he has gone without eating, his food choices, etc. I had to tell John that exercise is 20 percent of the battle, the other 80 is a good consistent diet/nutrition that positively effects you as well. I am not a nutritionist or dietitian but I do know that if you eat crap and workout, chances are: results will come slower or not at all – which makes my job a whole lot harder & stressful. because I don’t want to have to keep reminding him of what he already knows. Not to mention, he has had a busy schedule, maybe semi stressful (which stress causes weight gain as well) and I don’t think now is the time to be training him, I feel like now is the time for him to kind of take sometime and figure out everything he needs to figure out, so he can have a clearer mind, and hopefully really sit back and focus on what is important in his life – hopefully his health is one. 

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t just about John, this is mostly about me. 80 percent of the reason why I am doing this break is for me. I want to accomplish so much that the constant worrying about my own body has strained my mind & created an obsession with wanting to reach my standard of perfection for myself. I have always struggled with wanting to reach this “perfect body image” , do better, be better, have better. Since my recent breakup in October, I have really had to build myself back up again, it is tough but I manage, and find things to do to keep my mind on my goals. This 3 months will hopefully give me time to build on myself as a whole (in and out) and to give me more time to focus on priorities.

 I don’t know what will happen after 3 months, depending on where I am at with my life and depending on where he is with his, I may end up training him again or I may not. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to train anyone at this time, because I do and I will continue to help those around me and online, I will still post my workouts and will keep my blogging going – I can manage training people for practice until I pass my exam (then I will charge you $$ LOL), just right now, I need to take a break from training my friend until he is further along and mentally ready in his own time. I hope all of you can understand.

Your Fitness Blogger,

Shay-lon xxx

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How do you agree to disagree with another Fitness professional/fitness instructor, fitness blogger

agree

So, this is something some of you have been waiting for (another post exposing my personal thoughts). I recently came by someone who asked me what I write about after I mentioned I was a blogger ( I told them I am fitness/health blogger) and that my topics range from exercises, mental health, nutrition, etc. Well they proceeded with “what are your credentials and how do you go about teaching people about fitness/health – when there are other people in your field who may or may not agree with anything or everything you are saying.. how do you compete against them for followers and what are people supposed to believe if you have differing opinions than someone else in your field?” . At first I was thinking, ” wow… seriously”, but then I said “.. it goes a little like this, I have my degree in exercise science, I interned for many different places within this field, I have worked with many professionals in the field, and I also keep all my college materials (books) and I research and read magazines, in the process of being certified in personal training and don’t come off like an arrogant piece of shit when I write” – this is how I manage to keep readers and followers and gain respect within my field (among many other things that go unnoticed). 

Lets just say, he was delighted by my answer and didn’t further question me but instead gave me a high five and told me “works for me”.

I decided after having to answer his question, I would write about this particular topic because honestly, it is true – I am “competing against other fitness/health bloggers who have differing opinions than mine and may not always agree with my tactics, information, and have more expertise than myself”.  I am not so stubborn to realize this, I am not so arrogant to ignore it, and I don’t think I know everything, which is why I spend hours on my laptop and hours teaching myself and studying. Sure, I may never know everything and there are fitness professionals without their degrees who are more knowledgeable than some of us with one – surprising huh?! But honestly, I never write to compete against others in my field, I don’t write to prove I know it all, I don’t write to make myself seem better. I write about fitness/health because this is my life, my everyday life and whether I agree with other professionals or athletes is not important because everyone has their own way of doing things. Now does this mean, when someone is using poor form/technique when squatting; I promote it? NO! what this means is, if that person is not able to demonstrate the exercise properly, either I make it known or I don’t. I don’t feel compelled to analyze everyone’s blogs and check to see how right they are or wrong they are. If I am following another fitness/health blog, best believe I read their content, and if I don’t agree with something, I normally comment with my take on things./sometimes I research it, and if I feel like the blogger is writing about something totally in left field that I know is NOT right or encouraging something that I know is unsafe, etc then I don’t follow them because I don’t have time for shenangins. It is the same with YouTube fitness videos, I swear these are sometimes the worse because they will do some circus trick to encourage others to do it too but have no real purpose and can’t identify how the movement is even constructive to a persons well-being. 

Personally I have had people disagree with topics  I have written about, such as: “Child obesity” was one of them because so many people have different thoughts, experiences; Did I go off on people who didn’t like what I had to say about it? – no. Why would I? I don’t care if you disagree with me, because hey, we all have a right to an opinion and all my readers are allowed to be honest and forthright as long as it is tasteful in nature and not something to arouse people’s anger. I feel like this, if you don’t like what I write about, then come forth and let me know,  you don’t have to agree with everything I say; that is the truth. If something I write about offends you (hopefully not) then say something but don’t expect me to back down & kiss ass either, because I won’t. For the most part, I think my topics have proven to be well written and I have yet come by a fitness professional who talked negatively about anything I have written thus far (thankfully) and I hope it stays this way because I live to learn, teach and grow. Hell, I have had many fitness professionals who have been in my field for 10+ years and have given me advice on workouts, shared their insight and added their own recommendations and I LOVED IT! because they didn’t belittle me, they actually only complimented my writing and confirmed the information; letting me know my topic wasn’t  full of bullshit and lies because trust me if they ever were: I would expect those same people to let me know. 

So how does one like myself handle agreeing-disagreeing with other fitness people? We talk like adults, exchange thoughts, I learn from them, I ask them questions, I gain insight and I respect their knowledge, because more than likely they have been in the game WAYY longer than myself and I only want to be as successful as they are now in their careers. My motto is “who cares whether the lunge or back squat is a better exercise – the more important thing is we both know they are functional exercises” LOL. 

I make mistakes, I may be biased sometimes & I am young.- but I won’t lead you over a cliff;  Thank you everyone for reading and I appreciate everyone’s support on my blog. 

Your Fitness Blogger,

Shay-lon xxx