365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

1.09.19

Day 10

Do you always need to be in control? How do you feel when you have no control over the situation?

No, I don’t need to always be in control, although having control over myself (thoughts, opinions, movements,emotions, feelings, etc) are important to me. I don’t believe I have controlling behaviors (none that stick out to me) & I don’t have the “my way or the highway” attitude either. I feel as though many times people have put me in the seat to control/make their decisions for them so they can avoid doing it & many times I’ve allowed someone I’ve dated to have control over me / take control of the situation; which at the time I was blind to but looking back, I was always in fear of losing this person & I would allow them to take control of me and answer for me, if it meant keeping them. Now, I wouldn’t be so easily controlled — I enjoy my freedoms. When I feel I have no control over a situation, it scares me depending on the circumstance. Especially when I make a mistake and someone thinks negatively of me because of it & even though I apologize, it just doesn’t seem like enough because they already have a certain impression of me — I can’t control that / or make it “better”. Not having control in certain situations can make me feel vulnerable and causes me stress or the feeling of panic/being overwhelmed.
Many of you probably know someone or have dated someone who had controlling behaviors — or perhaps you are someone who likes being in constant control. Share in the comments.

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