I Am Only Human

Bound By Flaws.

For a first time in a long time.. 

 

It had occur to me that people see me as this “super human” amazing women who lifts heavy and walks with confidence and seemingly has her life together & everything she does just seems to be #goals (my blog, my workout, my future career, my online presence, physique, etc) & this scares me a little bit, actually a lot of bit. I mean granted I am thankful that I have inspired people, built relationships and rapport with people who now trust me enough to come to me with questions about fitness/health, have had a blog that went from 0 to hero in matter of months and that I tend to make people smile with my random comedic personality BUT what scares me is that people seem to think because of all this I did do, that they think they can’t do it. Like it took some magical pixie dust and oops the store ran out of it, so looks like no one else is capable of doing AMAZING things with their own life. 

 

I hate to give it to you like this.. BUT.. I am only human. That’s right, I came out the vagina the same way you did and I ended up on planet earth just like you. my baby self didn’t have a 6 pack and big arms, I surely wasn’t tying blogs at the age of 2 and I couldn’t have been that famous because I am still broke & I am willing to bet .. no one really even knows me besides family and friends and the people who know of me online. I could lie and say I am a HUGE deal but lets get real, I am not. Do I want to be? YES! because I have a lot to offer in my field and I know I am capable of GREAT things! I believe this. I know how hard I have to work in order to keep my physique in top notch if I want the “deals” and exposure, I know what it takes to keep my blog running smoothly so that all of you keep coming back to pester me about how much you love my stuff (lol)  & I know how much constant research, learning and events it will take for me to build more knowledge so I know what I am talking about and can teach others and spread my knowledge to others who listen to me. My life is not all daisies and wildflowers with tons of sunshine – I have cloudy days. I have periods and bloating that makes me look “gross” , I have struggled with body shaming, I have had the ups and downs of having a nice physique, I have failed in sporting events, I have struggled with my own self confidence and who I am, I have struggled financially, I have lost out on many opportunities (not being good enough), I have days where my abs are no longer there and my arms look like twigs and I am crying trying to pick myself back up. I have had many days where my post suck and I felt like walking away, and for goodness sake .. I know what it is like to have flaws. 

 

The problem is, maybe not all my flaws are seen with the human eye, maybe some of them are seen and you can pinpoint them in less than 5 seconds, but it doesn’t matter because I am no better than anyone else. Being in the fitness field can put a lot of pressure on you to be something like someone else in order to gain a huge following, more “friends”, more money and more fame. I don’t mind the pressure much anymore because I had to stop trying to be like her or him and had to try better at doing what I do best: being me, with flaws and all. I can’t always show my flaws because, hey it is a business, and I have to put on a good face and a good show if I want to keep everyone else around me happy, but when I do, it hits hard — because that is the one time I can let go and just allow myself to cry or get angry. Becoming a trainer isn’t easy either, hell .. you are responsible for someone outside of yourself and being an athlete, well hell you are responsible with being “good” and if not good, then you better be able to handle the harsh criticisms because the world is ready to chew you whole and spit you out. Truth is, during this whole time of learning about myself and wanting to go the distance in everything I do, I have learned I am as strong as I allow but I can’t handle every hurdle and I can’t handle every ball thrown at me.. because like everyone else, I am human and I am going to have days where I fall and getting back up will seem impossible. 

 

Hopefully this post gave people some perspective and understanding. Feel free to leave comments, likes, share it on social media or follow me 🙂 Thank you.

 

Your Fitness Blogger,

 

Shay-lon xxooo

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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The Gym Goers Job

obligation

In a world full of body savvy, nutritional professionals, where I am only less than the 1 percent who actually cares about the well-being of others not just how their ass looks in jeans or the shirtless pictures they post on social media. Although, we all look, guilty as charged. I found out recently after reading a Facebook post from a group member of a fitness group I have joined (I joined many to share my blog post and Youtube videos) that is our obligation to look a certain way so that others will want to look as we do. I laughed loudly, very loudly to myself because I wanted to know how such a person even came up with that conclusion, as if I am some model citizen that people should praise and look up to in such a way where they feel the need to compare themselves to myself and others in our profession. Forgive me if this next sentence makes me sound like a whining bitch, but “who in the hell said I wanted others to look like me”, why is this a hard concept to grasp when I make mention that isn’t my goal. I don’t ever feel the need to strike an argument with a fellow personal trainer, because I know we all have our own ideas and ways of doing things but when a personal trainer makes such a statement that involves how we should look in order to make others “want our bodies”, “praise our hard work”, and “give us a round of applause for being attractive”, I find that kinda absurd, maybe because over the course of the years my body hasn’t made head line news and I don’t feel like it is any better than the next females, sure it looks nice but improvement is always needed no matter how “flawless” it may look to others, I find it needs improvement because I am not perfect and this whole I should feel obligated to make sure it is this perfect canvas is bullshit. I have my days where I am drowning in sloppy joe sauce and stuffing my face with french fries, and so if I choose to do that and get a small pouch on my tummy from eating such amazing food, that is my business, doesn’t mean I am any less a personal trainer than the next person in line who treats themselves to a salad on the weekends with a decent amount of croutons. 

 

For one, I take care of my body to my liking, not someone else’s, I stopped wanting to be a show doll years ago when I realized people won’t be satisfied no matter which direction I take. Looking at me you would assume I eat veggies all week and stay away from any kind of fast food, or dining out but hanging with me, I am smashing my face with gourmet burgers and waiting for the next margerita to be served. Seriously, and I still manage a healthy weight, confidence, and muscle definition that goes beyond my expectations most days and I get complimented on my physique more often than not most days, not to mention if you have seen my recent pictures on Facebook of me at the gym, then you would know I know what I am doing when it comes to taking care of myself and it is not to appeal to my others and/or society but to appeal to myself. It is a bonus to appeal to others, because it makes us feel good, but on the other hand, I am not perfect, I bloat when PMSing, I gain weight, I lose muscle, my abs look like shit some days, my hair is never on point, my thighs jiggle to the beat of the music sometimes and I have stretch marks that I have had since being kid that switch between being noticeable and unnoticeable. Shit, I would hate for someone to be like me, and did I mention I don’t wear make up so you can see my pimples when they stop by to visit. Here it is folks, the truth. I think this whole I need to look a certain way in order to get clients may be true, of course, I have to workout, stay in shape and be healthy and not to mention have some confidence and pride in myself. I do. I have a lovely personality and I lift heavy weight, I can run sprints like a champ, and I maintain a healthy balance of food in my fridge, I have self control when I eat, I am knowledgeable in my profession, I have my degree,  I work hard and I carry myself with dignity whenever I have the chance, I failed to mention I have determination,I am disciplined and I strive to be great in everything I do. Always have. 

 

So here we are discussing why I need to look a certain way in order to get clients, I don’t have to look like the chick on muscle and fitness magazine, I am okay with being myself and representing who I am to people in order to get clients and build my rapport. I feel as though no one would hardly know my lifestyle choices unless I told them, and I do eat healthy foods, drink water and stay active, I love having a fit body and looking good in pictures, but deep down, I am not a show doll, I want to be treated like I would treat my clients, “normal”. I don’t need praise, I don’t need another personal trainers approval and I sure the hell don’t have to put up a front like I am some hot shot in order to have clients and gain exposure. My only job at the gym is to work on me and improving my weaknesses, my only obligation is to help other people feel good about themselves, improve their health and well being and bring awareness to people all over in how important fitness/health is. Yes, I will need to look the part for people to believe I am good at what I do, but hopefully once they step into my world and train with me, they won’t need to feel the need to base my quality from how I look but from how they look instead. 

 

Your Fitness blogger,

 

Shay-lon xoxo