365 Days of Self Discovery: Health & Well-Being

8.15.19

Day 7

Are you comfortable looking in the mirror?

  • I haven’t always been. During my junior and senior year of college I struggled with looking in the mirror and even when I was younger I didn’t particularly enjoy looking in a mirror so I carried the habit of avoiding mirrors through my adulthood (unless I HAD to). It took a professor of mine to make it a habit of me having to look in a mirror while exercising to watch my form and technique — before I could do it at the gym & it not bother me. At the time, it was due to my weight gain that I avoided the mirrors and didn’t particularly enjoy seeing myself in the mirror because it was like a constant reminder that I looked gross. I had never had weight issues growing up — always been healthy and lean / so when this happened it terrified me and angered me and gave me anxiety and made me more self conscious about my appearance overall. Now, I have my days where I avoid the mirror in general besides when lifting out of habit when I don’t feel or look the best (but doesn’t have much to do with my body) more so, my overall appearance & I don’t like looking at myself in the fitting room mirrors [[ never have]] because they all differ and many times give me a bad perception of how I look compared to how I feel. 
I have never been comfortable looking in a mirror, so now that I feel more comfortable doing so when I need to or when lifting at the gym, I feel I have come a long way from that fear — and it shows my growth and trying to overcome an obstacle of self worth. 
Advertisements

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

5.19.19

Day 39

What are your career goals?

  • Full time personal trainer at a big gym — personal trainer manager even
  • own business CPT (independent contractor)
  • full time blogger/writer being paid
  • successful podcaster
  • business — line of my own products 
  • strength and conditioning coaching
  • working with elite athletes — colleges, professional sports teams
  • traveling CPT — and online training coach
  • motivational speaker worldwide 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.31.19

Day 24

What from your past do you wish you could do over?

  • I wish I could do college over again, and had chosen a college based on where I wanted to go and not a college based on my mom controlling/making my decisions for me. I wish I could do my previous relationship over again and sometimes I wish I could do over my whole life again. 

Is there anything you wish you could do over again?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.29.19

Day 22

Did you find it easy to get along with your peers when you were growing up?

  • I’d say it was a mix of yes and no, because of me being an athlete all my life, I could make friends quite easily but when due to my socially awkward personality and struggling between wanting to fit in with the “cool” kids and being myself; sometimes it was harder to get along with peers. I was always the class clown growing up, I could make people laugh at my own expense but after awhile I then learned the difference between someone laughing with me and someone laughing at me & it truly opened my eyes to how some people perceived me. 
Would you say you got along with your peers growing up, or were you an outcast? 

365 Days of self Discovery: Your Past

3.28.19

Day 21

Did you enjoy school? What life lessons did you learn from your there?

  • I did enjoy school, in fact, I hated to miss school due to illness and couldn’t stand being late for school. Some of the life lessons I learned from attending school were to prepare me for college, or my future. Some other lessons came from experiences; losing friends, dating, time management skills, etc. 
How many of you enjoyed going to school? Was there a period of time you didn’t like attending school or when you started to enjoy it but didn’t previously? Share the lessons you took with you going forward in life. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.21.19

Day 14

What has been the most difficult time of your life?

  • Well, I have many difficult times, no worse than anyone else I am sure, but still difficult nonetheless. I’d say one of the most was when I was financially defeated, I was broke, literally living paycheck to paycheck, in college and outside of college, I was behind on credit card bills and hardly making payments, hardly making rent, I had no savings account (it got closed because it had no money in it for an extended period of time), I was getting bank overdraft fees constantly, I was maxed out on my credit cards (very high limits) and my debit card would sometimes get declined, so getting groceries was scary.. I mean I thought I was hitting rock bottom but after a while, it took a lot of sacrifices, etc but I made it through finally. 

Do you have a difficult time in your life that stands out? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.16.19

Day 9

Where were you, 10 years, 5 years, and 1 year ago?

  • So this is a good question that requires long answers. I will try to keep them semi short for the same of having to read everything but what I wrote down on paper was much longer due to me really getting my thoughts out. 10 years ago, I was 16 years of age, 11th grade, living in Texas for the 2nd year. I had a few friends at this time, and I wasn’t playing basketball anymore due to a certain circumstance that got me kicked off the team the previous year (which I thought was highly unacceptable), but I was still running track and trying to figure my own life out. I wasn’t necessarily happy living in Texas but enjoyed visiting my Uncle and grandfather who lived a ways away in Texas. I wasn’t dating anyone, but I had a few crushes here and there. I was still uncomfortable with my sexuality — because I didn’t quite understand myself but didn’t really think much about it and didn’t reach out to anyone for understanding (I dealt with things alone) I flirted with guys plenty and got a lot of attention from dudes from school who would say vulgar or anticipate that I would have some sort of sexual experience with them (which I did not) the furthest thing I did was texting inappropriately but I had little knowledge on the subject, I was just searching for something & didn’t know what it was. I had good grades in school at this time and I was probably getting the news we would be leaving before I started my senior year to a new state. 
  • 5 years ago, I was 21 years old, happy as hell that I was finally able to drink alcohol legally (although I was drinking it before this) and I was not close to my mom, we would argue and bicker often, I wasn’t close to my younger brother at all, we just didn’t see eye to eye. I was still in denial about my sexuality to other people but I was already out to my mom at age 18 about being bisexual at the time, but wasn’t out about it to certain family members and friends. I was having an internal battle with myself, I don’t think I was in a serious relationship with anyone but I was dating around somewhat & meeting people offline. I had a few experiences here and there with men my age and older but nothing that I want to get into depth about. I was probably out of college (taking a break) but working two jobs at the time and living with a roommate. I didnt have my life together and wasn’t sure where I would end up.
  • 1 year ago, I was 25 years old, my relationship with my mom was shaking but better and my younger brother and me were getting along better as well. I was out in totally by this age and I don’t think I identified as bisexual anymore, so I think I mainly stuck with dating women at this point. Not in a serious relationship, but had pretty much dated around for a while. I was working at the Anytime Fitness gym and working with a company that helped the mentally and physically handicapped. I had already graduated college years prior to this and decided on being a personal trainer as a career choice. I was eager about the future but still dealing with the fact me and my ex had broken up the year previous to this. 
I like to think my life has been a rollercoaster of weird stuff and with all kinds of mistakes and lessons to have been learned from them. I might not still have my life together but I at least know what I want out of life for the most part now compared to then. My relationships with my family now aren’t as bad (although we have our days) but I am busy with two jobs and working on myself more than not, and I want so much for myself, I have put myself first these days and hopefully it pays off. 
 
If you are feeling up to it, share where you were 10 years, 5 years and 1 year ago. If not all three, choose one and share. I know it can be quite the question but the reflection is nice to look back on.