Building a positive social circle

I plan on getting back to the podcast soon that I created (been away from it for 3 months) and so to keep things fresh, I will probably do the Tips Tuesday — and gradually get back into things, don’t want to overwhelm myself with too much because of all the extra stuff I am now taking on. With this being said, I created this tip months ago, and I figured it is very important — something we should all aim for & that is:

 

Building a positive social circle.

 

What this means, is choosing to surround yourself with people who help to build you, motivate you, encourage you, and support you. We all have had people in our circle at one point who seemed like the debbie downer or the one that constantly complains about life and all the downs but never sees any positive things from it — but maybe some of us have been the negative one in our own circle (if this is true, change your outlook .. in order to gain the positive circle you seek). This is excluding those of us with mental illnesses that might play a part in our mindset, but even so with that illness, finding people who appreciate you and give you hope and have a concern for you and your life as much as you have for them is a start in the right direction. 

 

I am not perfect by any means, but since growing up and becoming more mature and making better adult decisions, I have gotten better at being alone until I meet people who have a good impact in my life instead of being friends and accepting everyone in my circle — I had to learn to be more picky because I get discouraged easy and I deal with my own demons and having a negative person who constantly brings me down, only creates more issues in the long term for me. Something we have to learn to do, is be picky as to who we allow in our lives and who we allow to impact our lives. Down below I list some ways to build a positive social circle:

 
 
  1. Be PICKY! Don’t allow anyone in, make sound decisions. Not everyone needs to be your friend
  2. Change your outlook/attitude about yourself – when you have a more positive outlook on yourself, people tend to gravitate towards you and in turn you make more relationships that are good relationships
  3. Respect people- Respect goes a long way in life, if you can respect others, normally it means they will have mutual respect for you
  4. Be open minded: Open minded individuals tend to see within a person vs the outer layer, they want a deeper connection with someone and in turn you truly start to build a stronger bond
  5. Compliment someone: Giving someone a reason to smile can make a difference — people will feel appreciated & it can make your day knowing you made someone else’s day. People enjoy compliments, truths about themselves that maybe they don’t see within them, but hearing it from someone else gives them a reason to continue being awesome! A simple compliment can carry a lot of weight
  6. Don’t be self absorbed: I always say there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself BUT you don’t want your circle to get tired of learning about you, when you become self absorbed everything revolves around you and that shows others that you don’t have their best interest in mind. I will just add that, being self absorbed can lead to bad relationships because everybody wants a chance to shine and when you take someone’s limelight to shine back on yourself, it comes off as arrogant. 
  7. Confidence is needed: Confidence is a necessity because people feed off someone who is confident with who they are, you need to carry yourself like you are proud of being alive, proud of who you are and proud of where you came from because it is what makes you, you! You might have a bad past but it doesn’t mean you are bad person, and you might have flaws but flaws don’t make you less of a person. 
  8. Think before you speak: We get in a habit with saying whatever is on our minds, which isn’t always bad, but it can lead to bad outcomes if we don’t think about how to go about things. If you keep other people’s feelings in mind, then you will have better outcomes, telling the truth isn’t bad but its how you say it that can make the whole difference. Take others into consideration before speaking too much of your mind. 
  9. Don’t be “two faced”: We all know what it means to be two faced “someone who smiles in your face but will talk behind your back when you leave” , yes, that’s very dishonest, rude and immature. Grow up, if you want people in your circle who are positive, don’t make it hard on yourself by giving them a reason to not trust you or like you. 
  10. Find people with similar hobbies: It can pay off when you acquaint yourself with those who share the same interest and hobbies as you, this makes life a little easier but don’t disregard those who are opposite because many times they can give us new experiences and allow us to step outside our comfort level. 
  11. Be true to SELF: Be real, be authentic, and be yourself. Changing for others will either end badly or last for a short period of time because you will run into all walks of life and having to shift who you are for each person will get tiring — change is good if it makes you into a better person and develops you mentally and physically and spiritually but when it becomes a change in order to “fit in” with people or groups of people, it drains you, overwhelms you, and reduces your chances of making deeper connections with people. Not everyone will like you, but those who do like you, will be worth it because they will see the best in you — 
 

Building a circle isn’t about being “popular” and most liked, it is about building a meaningful bond with people who take the time to build that same bond with you. Building a positive circle isn’t about having to smile and be happy everyday, it’s about building a circle that allows for bad days but doesn’t dwell on them — Shay-lon Moss 

 

A circle can be small (2-3 close friends) or a bigger circle (5-10 friends), or your family members — it doesn’t matter how big or small it is, it’s a circle that has your back no matter how deep the water gets; they motivate, support, and uplift you– they give you truths but don’t slam you with bad vibes — Shay-lon Moss

 

Have something you want to add to this list, feel free to leave in the comment section! 

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2017 Blog Recap: My Pitfalls and Success!

thought I would take this time to reflect on my blogging career since first starting Dec. 2016. 

 

Once upon a time I was a beginner just like some of you new bloggers, I was searching for answers, perfection and followers. I owe my blogging to a professor whom gave me the idea and I took off with it – if it wasn’t for his guidance; I would have never found this passion & would have missed out on such amazing opportunities with my writing. 

 

He gave me the idea, but I had to come up with the answers, come up with the solutions, had to put forth the effort to see any success. In the beginning, I was restless, I was anxious, I was nervous and I was alone on this journey- while I had his continued support, I didn’t have the support of many others until my blog started taking off on its own (even then, the support was minimal). I struggled trying to find my voice within my writing, coming up with topics, making a routine, creating an actual blog and deciding which platforms to use. Google was both my friend and nemesis because while it was helpful; it wasn’t enough. Soon, I had to put forth all my efforts with contacting veteran bloggers with questions, concerns, and had to read blog after blog after blog in order to find my own wings. 2016 was tough to say the least and 2017 had its patches as well. 

 

In year 2017, I had great days where my stats were glowing and showering with new views and followers – I was hitting top success, BUT towards the middle & end of 2017 my blog was coming to a slow end ( I was writing less entries, views were low, my following was slow and my online presence was dwindling) getting lost in all the saturated fitness and health blogs— I struggled to stand out. My blog helped to get me sponsored as an athlete, it helped me be able to have a chance in writing for editors of very popular magazines (Muscle and Fitness magazine) and it gave me opportunities to write for online sources both paid and unpaid opportunities all the while it was tumbling down a downward slope.. 

 

I love my blog, and even though it isn’t at its BIGGEST success as of yet, I hope that 2018 will be the year it shines its brightest. In fact, I plan on putting in more work on this blog (and my other blog) than I have in the past couple of years of writing because I have HUGE dreams to fulfill and HUGE ideas that are possible and with the right amount of time and dedication, I know I can turn my blog into a HUGE success. A blog that will blow the minds of those who doubted me. In the meantime I plan on taking this blog to new heights, but still keeping it simple & still keeping it true to myself – always. 

 

I have seen my pitfalls and my triumphs within my writing – and 2018 will still have pitfalls and triumphs, it will just be a new year of showing continued growth. Many people consider me a successful blogger/writer in the fitness industry, but I don’t consider myself as such because the most successful of them are the ones who you remember the most, you read the most, you follow, you feel inspired by and have learned something from that has significantly played a part in your life, you subbed to their blog because you never want to miss a moment or story; you didn’t leave their side during bad months of writing and you weren’t just a follower of their’s- but somebody they knew and had grown to connect with. I want that. I want all of those things when people visit my blog. 

 

I appreciate all of you for being here to read this, It means a lot to me that I am ending 2017 on a positive note. Have a wonderful NEW YEARS 2018 🙂

 

Shay-lon Moss

Why I Chose Exercise Science/Personal Training

The Truth Is..

For some of you, you may not be able to get to the About me Section of my blog and that is perfectly okay because it probably needs updated anyways. I decided to make a more personalized post today since I have been connecting with so many other bloggers who are personal trainers, or health coaches. I love the reasons why people have chosen this profession and i even love the ones who started in this profession but have moved on to something more like nursing or physical therapy and occupational therapy, among other occupations. I think no matter what, you all have chosen to do that profession because you enjoy it – at least I hope so and hope that you if you don’t enjoy it, you find something you do enjoy. 

 

I found that my passion lies with fitness, lies with wanting to be a personal trainer and making the most of it with what I have learned and experiences. I  started off as physical therapy student (which I loved, btw) but soon changed my degree to exercise science and never regretted it yet, although sometimes I was in question about it. For some people, they think of this degree as a dead end, a no go, a pointless achievement but for me, it means I have the power to change someone’s life in a way that is transforming them into better people physically and hopefully building them up mentally as well. Now for starters, this doesn’t mean that I might not go back to school for something more or different if I need to, or decide that I want a change of scenery or if I want a profession that has more benefits, etc – this just means for the time being, personal training is my highest goal. I know this job is hard because most trainers are working part time and having to build a client list while carrying another job and I realize this job can be tiring because you are having to work around a client’s schedule that may be really early in the morning or really late at night but in order to keep them as a client and build rapport, you do it no matter. 

 

In my mind I know this is something I want to do and love watching other trainers with their clients. I want to make a career of this, but I also have given thought about becoming a strength and conditioning coach or perhaps going back to school and going for physical therapy again..and those are ALL things I can do at any point in my life If I choose to. I want to be a personal trainer because I feel as though I have come a long way in myself and I have seen changes that happened gradually and I want to see those changes in others; and if this sounds about right, let me add that I also want to be a personal trainer because I want to be a fitness mogul – someone who isn’t just a person in the world training people but a person who has taken their training to new heights, traveled, well versed with other trainers and professionals in the field, someone who has a general audience they train but specializes in something that makes them stand out among the crowd, someone who has an app that people use because they know it will benefit them, someone who does public speaking/motivational speeches because people love what I have to say and want support, I want a book that I publish; maybe even a series that gives not only the fitness aspect of my life but my development as a person and where my obstacles lie. I want to be able to network with people – nutritionist, doctors, sports medicine professionals, coaches, etc in order to make the best of my job and deliver the best part of me. I have no idea if any of this is possible and if it is, I want it and if it isn’t, well shit I will try anyways. 

 

Being a personal trainer isn’t about looking good, or being strong  – to me, it goes above and beyond that, it is about dedicating your life to making sure that every client feels like they achieved something – achieved something that made them feel better about themselves and their capabilities. I never want a client to feel inferior next to me, I want them to feel like they are my teammate and we both have to do this together if we want to be successful. When I think of everything I hope to do as a personal trainer, I want it to mean something. To some of you this is crazy, impossible, maybe even shocking, and potentially a dream that might never happen – but this is why I chose to graduate in exercise science and why I want to be a personal trainer, this is what I believe in. 

 

P.S for all those who are trainers – feel free to let me know the pros and cons of being a personal trainer, let me know why you chose this occupation, let me know what you think about the fitness industry, let me know if you were a trainer and went on to something more and why you did so, let me know what you think of my reasons, let me know if you prefer working in a gym or being an independent trainer,  tell me everything you know and have learned working as personal trainer. Did you have dreams of training celebs? Do you feel like personal trainers get paid well? Do you feel like it is a growing job choice or dying occupation? do you think exercise science is a dead zone degree? Name other jobs you can get with an exercise science degree, I want to know everything you are willing to share and please feel free to connect with me through social media or email. I love being able to speak with all of you.

 

Thanks for reading, feel free to share, like, comment, and follow me. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

300 YouTube Subscriber Milestone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEx2tvAzsrI

Alright everyone, I wanted to happily announce that I have hit 300 YouTube subscribers on my channel. I want to thank all my bloggers and friends for hanging in there with me and being able to support me through good and bad videos, lol. I explain in this video not only my thank yous, but also my reasons why I create a YouTube my goals with my social media.