365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

1.09.19

Day 10

Do you always need to be in control? How do you feel when you have no control over the situation?

No, I don’t need to always be in control, although having control over myself (thoughts, opinions, movements,emotions, feelings, etc) are important to me. I don’t believe I have controlling behaviors (none that stick out to me) & I don’t have the “my way or the highway” attitude either. I feel as though many times people have put me in the seat to control/make their decisions for them so they can avoid doing it & many times I’ve allowed someone I’ve dated to have control over me / take control of the situation; which at the time I was blind to but looking back, I was always in fear of losing this person & I would allow them to take control of me and answer for me, if it meant keeping them. Now, I wouldn’t be so easily controlled — I enjoy my freedoms. When I feel I have no control over a situation, it scares me depending on the circumstance. Especially when I make a mistake and someone thinks negatively of me because of it & even though I apologize, it just doesn’t seem like enough because they already have a certain impression of me — I can’t control that / or make it “better”. Not having control in certain situations can make me feel vulnerable and causes me stress or the feeling of panic/being overwhelmed.
Many of you probably know someone or have dated someone who had controlling behaviors — or perhaps you are someone who likes being in constant control. Share in the comments.

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365 days of self discovery: day 10

What is your favorite song? What does it mean to you?

Honestly, I love music, It matches my mood when I listen to a certain song. Depending on how I feel, will depend on what I listen to, I don’t think I have one favorite song, but I do have favorites that I listen to more than others or that have significance to my life in some way. I’ll keep the list somewhat short because it’s constantly growing & hopefully some of you will share some of the same likes for the songs listed.

In no particular order:

  1. Ally Hills – “wrong”
  2. Lana Del Rey- “gods and monsters”
  3. Lana Del Rey” – Young and beautiful”
  4. Lana Del Rey- “Born to die”
  5. In this moment- “whore”
  6. Skid row- ” I remember you”
  7. Linkin Park- “one more light”
  8. Luke Combs- “Hurricane”
  9. Thomas Rhett- “Marry me”
  10. Prince- “doves cry”
  11. Melanie Martinez-“Pity party”
  12. Melanie Martinez- “dollhouse”
  13. The 1975- “somebody else”
  14. Gwen Stefani- “4 in the morning”
  15. Melanie Martinez- “Mrs Potato head”
  16. Halsey- “Hopeless”
  17. Daya- “new”
  18. Bryce Vine- “Drew Barrymore”
  19. Jose Gonzalez- “Stay Alive”
  20. Auli’ i Cravalho- “How far i’ll go” (Moana movie) Disney movie

I do listen to rap and hip hop as well, but most of the songs don’t hold meaning to me, which is why I didn’t list any of them, they are usually to get me pumped up, dance to, or have a good time to. There are a few love songs that I like listening to as well that I didn’t list because they are for more intimate settings, lol. Most of the time, I enjoy songs that can help me to get my thoughts and emotions out & obviously if I can relate to it, like the beat and chorus, etc. Many things go into me liking a song, so the ones on the list I probably have listened to more than 100 times each and enjoy but as I have mentioned before, there are more songs that I haven’t listed that I enjoy as well. 

Share what your favorite song is, or songs. Let me know why & feel free to follow & like the page! 

Shay-lon