BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 

 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 

But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 

When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 

“Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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BeGreatGuys Monday Motivation #6

“Do what you said you were going to do”

In other words, whatever it is you said you would do, that you have to do, that you want to do – DO IT!  

 

The problem is we get caught up on words, we say things but have a difficult time putting forth the action – for example: “I want to open my own gym”, that’s something someone wants to do, but the problem is, they aren’t doing anything about it and if they are doing something — they are running out of patience and not seeking the help they need to make that into an action; in turn, giving up or complaining. I realize owning a gym would be difficult for most people (expenses, responsibility, learning the business side of things, taking a risk, seeking employees, etc. BUT it is POSSIBLE. Maybe in the moment it seems like a fantasy that has a low percentage of happening but in the scheme of things, what is it that keeps you from trying anyways. If it is money, what can do you to raise enough money, hell better yet, what is a more affordable way to own a business until you are able to afford a big enough building or lot? I have known many companies to start small — and as soon as they start earning customers and revenue, they grow, they prosper. You go from selling products and training from your garage to now owning a huge gym that sits in a nice lot that serves thousands of people. It is POSSIBLE. 

 

The reason I made this post was not only to give you some motivation, but to give me some motivation, some insight on what I already know and to give me the boost of confidence to think outside of the box and not give up because something isn’t coming “easy” for me. I started a business recently, my OWN business, hell, it is very new and a huge risk for me, because I have very little information on how to go about it and to be honest, I haven’t put the amount of effort into it, that is necessary and that’s strike one against me. I want to put the effort into it and make it grand & here I am saying this but not providing any action — so all the while I am telling you to put forth action towards your goals; I need to do the same for myself, and not wait another day to do so, but do it NOW because it is POSSIBLE. 

 

Your goal can be as small as: “I need to visit my grandmother this week”, well if that is important to you, why haven’t you done it? why is work, school, relationships and traveling your excuse? when something is important to YOU, you will know how important it is, because you make time for it, you make an effort no matter the circumstances. If work and traveling is keeping you from visiting grandmother, than why not make that effort to call or message her? if  not having transportation is the issue, then why not use your resources? It’s not to make you feel guilty but to make you realize that the things we say we should do and need to do, can be done if we look at the time we have and spend it wisely and make time for things that we put off; make time for people that we put on hold, and make time for goals that we are passionate about. In a nutshell, I am the last person to tell you how to have ‘better time management’ because I feel as though I fail in that area in the recent years, however, I do know I don’t always spend my time wisely and I don’t always utilize my resources and sometimes I make excuses and put things off for “tomorrow” but while working out today at the gym, I came to think that I need to put myself on a schedule/routine when it comes to my life outside of the gym because otherwise I fail to do what is important & I make more excuses. Is this you?

 

We won’t be perfect. It will be challenging sometimes & we will get frustrated, possibly even overwhelmed with anxiety. That’s to be expected when you have goals and aspirations and passions in life — but the end result will be: a sense of accomplishment, a sense of progress, a sense of productivity and growth. All of those things will come if we DO WHAT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO DO. 

 

Hope you have enjoyed this read, if so, please feel free to follow, share and leave comments 😀

 

Instagram: Shaylon_FitnessWonderWoman

Twitter: ShayM_Fitness

FB Page: Shay-lon Moss Confident Fit, LLC

Email: Shay.moss19@gmail.com

Never too late for some Monday Motivation

Just in case you follow me on IG & want to see what I posted for inspiration — Monday Motivation

Everyone Wants to lose weight/be fit; but how do you do it?

I am willing to assume that many of you have a New Year’s resolution and out of the many of you, most of you will have one that deals with “losing weight, gaining muscle, being fit” , etc. All of which fall into the category of “wanting to change your appearance” in some way or fashion. About this time, this means more and more articles are hitting the social media platforms/websites about ways to lose weight, gain muscle, be lean, etc — which translates to many of you will be hopping on board with the ideas and come to realize: 

1) they don’t work (not for everyone)

2) you can’t sustain it for the long term 

3) it gives short term results

4) you give up because you lack the motivation

5) you financially cannot afford it

6) You make up excuses for why you can’t start “now”

7) you have been relying on your friends and family to take part in it with you and when they quit, you quit. 

8) you didn’t do enough research on the matter, so you end up hurting yourself.

9) You didn’t have a backup plan in place for when you fail

10) most the shit you see is the same shit you have seen before — just a new name attached. 

&& if that isn’t enough, you are becoming DESPERATE – which means you try anything and everything and when nothing works or when you hit a plateau or when things become hard, you GIVE UP. 

 

Sadly, we get so worked up for the New Year, that we forget we have been through this same cycle over and over and over again. So.. Quit the cycle. Quit being desperate. Quit being a follower of a new fad/trend and do something different this year. This year: Work for it. Be patient. Be informative. Be determined. Be motivated. Be disciplined. Be mentally prepared. Be good to yourself. Be Strong. Be Unstoppable. 

 

This year:

Stop giving up. Stop making excuses. Stop complaining. Stop blaming. Stop relying on others. Stop being weak minded. Stop allowing others to mold you. Stop being a follower. Stop putting yourself down. 

 

There is no secret to this fitness thing, because everyone has a different formula. I found my own that worked for me, I constantly struggle but I manage to still have enough in me to keep going. If you want something bad enough for yourself, you will find a way, a way that works perfectly for you & when it gets harder — you won’t give up but instead be strong and continue on. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon