365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 117

12.28.18

What is your most treasured possession, and why?

  • I’d say the rings I wear on a daily basis, the charm bracelet my grandma bought that has family photos as the charms, anything that I have that belongs to my grandpa (he passed away). All of the above items have sentimental value and meaning behind them & most if not all cannot be replaced and/or very rare items / worth a lot. Not to mention they are all from family members who are/were significant in my life. 
What is your most treasured possession? and why? 
Advertisements

Holiday Cheer!

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays 

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays Friends

I hope all of you had a wonderful Holiday — no matter which holiday you celebrate, I hope you had fun, and smiled a ton. For many people this can be a hard time because many people don’t have loved ones or have lost someone during the holidays, so it isn’t as cheerful, but I hope no matter the case, you were able to relax and slow down — and I hope if healing is what you need, that you will find the healing you need and continue to be strong because you are worth it. I lost my grandpa in December — so for me, it does happen to be harder at times when I think of him during this holiday — and how much I miss him and love him. I also lost an aunt of mine many years back due to homicide (hit and run) during the holidays (I believe close to Christmas or on Christmas day) so again, I know the pain of losing someone on holidays such as these and not feeling the most cheerful, but still I stuck it out because I am blessed that I was able to spend time with my siblings & some of my family members (including my mom) & see another year in good health. 

It’s hard to smile or be happy with negativity attached to a holiday; but something that is worth noting and being happy about is knowing you made it another year. We aren’t guaranteed another year, day or moment, each time we see another Christmas, is like saying we survived the world, the chaos, the negativity and the bad — we survived life threatening disease, we survived accidents, we survived a natural disaster, etc, whatever it may be, we made it another year to see this day & not everyone can say that. Doesn’t mean we will make it through this next year, but it means we lived long enough to see Christmas 2018 & that’s a big deal. To keep this light and fluffy, I have some fun questions you can take part in answering if you like; otherwise, feel free to leave comments, follow, share, and like the page. 

  1. Do you buy yourself gifts for Christmas?
  2. What is a holiday tradition your family takes part in?
  3. What makes Christmas special to you / if not Christmas, what makes your holiday special to you?
  4. Do you believe Christmas is becoming more and more commercialized?
  5. Growing up, what were some toys, etc that you wanted for Christmas?
  6. Do you celebrate Christmas?
  7. Did it snow on Christmas where you are from? 
  8. Are you a fan of eggnog?
  9. Name a gift you received this year?
  10. Does your family cook for the holidays or do you prefer to dine in someplace?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 92

12.03.18

Are you a good communicator?

  • At a very young age up until late high school, I struggled with my socialization skills & communicating with peers. Especially when it came to voicing my opinion, confrontations, debates, communicating my feelings/thoughts to others, etc. It wasn’t that I was anti-social or didn’t have any friends, I was very outgoing (still am) and had friends, but I was what most would probably consider “awkward”; Having a conversation with someone was harder due to my social anxiety — being a class clown all my life was my way of communicating and making friends, it seemed so much easier to find ways to make people laugh, than it was trying to talk to people in normal day to day conversations. I have many reasons as to why I feel as though I was struggling with this, mostly with other women vs men. I was a tomboy, so being one of the guys and hanging with my younger brother was my way of trying to fit in, vs hanging out with a bunch of girls from school. At a young age, I knew I was different, but it didn’t strike me as hard until I realized that maybe I had an attraction towards the same sex, and this just made communicating / socializing even harder at times. As I got older, I started to learn to open up to people more and had more conversation & my class clown acts weren’t as rapid, but after suffering from  losing friends, and having to move to different states/change schools, my communication skills started to once again dwindle because of my social anxiety from not knowing anyone. At the same time I had a hard time communicating with my own parent, my mom wasn’t the easiest lady talking to growing up (still has her moments now) because she is both stubborn and stuck in her ways and she believes what she says, goes — so I didn’t really have the confidence to speak up to her about certain matters until later in life. I’d say now, my communication skills aren’t perfect & I still have social anxiety, but I am better at voicing my opinion to peers, better at communicating my feelings within relationships and with close friends & I have gotten better at trying to voice my thoughts to my mom (even when she doesn’t seem to want to hear about it), regardless, I am glad this is something I have learned to excel at, and having taken a communication class in college, helped me to be able to talk in front of others with less fear. The hardest thing is keeping in touch with people — I am not good at doing that. 

Thanksgiving Shouldn’t be Stressful on your stomach

Breathe.

Everything will be okay, no need to stress about what to eat, how to eat or when to eat.

It’s quite simple, what I am going to tell you. No reason to change yourself for a holiday, but a good reason to prepare for it, so when it comes in your direction, you are more than ready for the opportunity to enjoy yourself. 

  1. Thanksgiving is about enjoying time with family/friends/peers 
  2. You may attend as many Thanksgiving parties as you wish — don’t interpret this as greedy but instead as there is no number rule when it comes to attending family gatherings — it’s once a year, spend it with people.
  3. Food will be present 

Those top 3 things listed above should help you prepare. The next line will help you get through the holiday with a positive mindset.

  1. Eating is okay. 
  2. Trust yourself to make sound decisions. You will know when you are full because you know your body.
  3. Don’t go in with the mindset: “I will only eat this, this this” or “I will only eat one plate” or “no dessert this year” etc. Those are all grand ideas if you follow through but chances are, you won’t follow through and when you don’t, you will have then failed yourself enough to be frustrated — then comes stress eating because you give up on yourself. 
  4. Instead attend the dinner with the mindset: “I need food for energy, I need food for survival and food fuels me” with these words in mind, you won’t be stressed out, but will be positive.
  5. If you want to stay disciplined during the Thanksgiving Holiday with your weight loss plan: Eat a balanced meal. Drink plenty of water and stay active (go for a walk, attend the gym in the morning before dinner, chase the kids/grandkids around the house/yard, etc) if moving is going to be hard on you, then be sure to stretch every once in a while — you might be stuck in a chair watching football, but make the effort to stretch so you can get some form of movement) it’s better than nothing. Also be sure to share good news with the family about how your weight loss plan is coming along — it will help you stay on track with good support cheering you on! 

I realize the Holiday can be hard with all the temptation of food at work events, home, family gatherings, etc. You have worked hard on yourself and meeting your goals, they shouldn’t be thrown away because you had a plate of mac & cheese — and cheesecake for dessert. Food is fuel for the mind & body. Having a goal that you will eat one plate, is hard.. because whose to say you will be full after one plate? and why should you stack that ONE plate with everything just to meet your needs? Telling yourself you will only eat certain foods is hard too, because when you cook for yourself, you eat what you like & it should be the same during Thanksgiving. The problem people seem to run into is the fear of “overeating” or not making healthy, wise decisions during this Holiday. Many times, overeating does occur and the choices of healthy food is lacking or not something you really want to eat but force yourself to (which makes you unhappy and cranky) — the solution is eating a balanced meal (proteins, carbs, veggies, fiber, fats) – that way you are eating things you enjoy & aren’t missing out on the nutrients! If you are attending more than one Thanksgiving in a weeks time or on the same day, then eat according to how you feel from the previous dinner (if you are full, don’t eat), if you ate less veggies, and more carbs the first time, switch it this time around. No need to eliminate food from the diet UNLESS you choose to do that & can follow through and keep a positive mindset doing it. 

Keep in mind, I want Thanksgiving to be stress free eating and a focus on appreciating the fact you are spending it with loved ones. Keep in mind what you are eating and how much of it you are eating — if you can’t finish the plate, save if for later or the next day. Don’t be afraid of food, but be cautious of what your body is telling you, it will be your guide. If you don’t think you can trust you body with making sound decisions, then hold yourself accountable & be aware of your food choices and portion sizes.  Hopefully this will be helpful for your Holiday 😀 if you have anything you want to add, feel free to leave comments!

Shay-lon Moss

 

RIP To All Those Who lost their lives

I just want to take the time to say how sorry I am for all those currently struggling with the loss of their loved ones during the last night’s shooting in California at Borderline Bar and Grill. This world is chaos, and it has become a “normal” thing for these mass shootings, soft shooting to take place anywhere and everywhere. That’s sad, pathetic and scary. I was on twitter today and reading the masses of tweets and one in particular stood out to me (I dont have cable any longer, so I feel am always last to know things unless posted on FB or instagram or a friend should tell me) and did you guys know that this shooting marked 304th mass shooting of 2018 thus far. It blows my mind more and more when I think about it because we used to grow up in this mentality that “my neighborhood is safe, this town has hardly any crime, this could never happen here to me, what are the chances of it happening here, and the most crimes we have are small.. ” well guess what America? NEWS FLASH! but safe is relative & there is no safe zone, nobody is safe from destruction besides the dead. Hell, growing up, I always thought this town was safe from all harm due to it being a pretty well established area with very little crime but now, we have drug overdoses every week, we have had people killed from gunshots and stabbings and we have car break ins, etc.. and guess what? that’s not nearly half of what goes on here that the crooked system tries to hide, regardless, crime can happen everywhere and no state, city, county is safe from a mass shooting erupting — people don’t give a fuck! I hate to say it, but people who want to harm others; on a mission to make hell for someone else isn’t going to discriminate where it takes place, if they have the tools and the way in, they will take it & we need not forget that aspect. 

Our country has been talking about “gun control” since the Pulse shooting and yet there has not been a solution in place, not enough action being taken and too much conversation that prolongs the process before another shooting happens. We say gun control, we say we need to not continue to make mass shootings a normal happening, we say we need to band together and come up with a solution, we say we need to change the laws, we say we need to ban certain people from obtaining weapons, etc, but what haven’t we done? we haven’t done enough.. we are discussing the same policies, the same written documents, the same agendas we were discussing back when things started and now we are doing the same thing , and this is giving perps more time to plan the next chaotic attack because we aren’t taking enough action. I am scared for our country and the future, scared for my family and friends, scared for myself and people who I don’t even know — innocent people’s lives.. I am scared because no matter what we decide, people aren’t going to wait for us to take action, they will continue to do these shootings because they can and will. When we finally take some sort of action, it probably still won’t be enough because the internet makes things easily accessible & we live in sick, cruel world where all it takes is a click of a button, power and or money and BOOM!

I was reading a post on twitter on how we are blaming these shootings on mental health problems/disorders and conditions but how dare we use this as a scapegoat each time someone decides to become radical and do a mass shooting. I couldn’t agree more with the person who stated it, because hell, I suffer from mental health disorders but I am not out here shooting up buildings, blowing up people and taking innocent lives — and while I know mental health is running rapid & many times people can’t afford medication, don’t know they suffer from something or can’t afford to get help they need, it doesn’t mean all of us with mental health disorders are taking it upon ourselves to kill people. I am more than aware that some have severe cases of mental health issues and can cause harm to themselves and others but I don’t believe we should continue using mental health as a scapegoat because I believe it fuels the stigma already placed on people who suffer from mental health disorders/conditions. If mental health is an issue (which it is when people can’t afford or have the help they seek or need) then lets come up with something to help those in need — but if every time we assumed someone who killed someone has a mental health disorder, it would be bullshit because there are so many people in their right mind who just are evil people doing these things, it doesn’t always come down to them having a mental health disorder, sometimes they are just malicious people with bad intents. Two things:

  1. We need to focus on the fact that NOT every person who goes out and does a senseless act has a mental health disorder, fact is, people can be evil and do crimes like this, it doesn’t mean they have PTSD or anxiety or anything else, it could just mean, they are evil and have bad intentions. 
  2.  If we want to keep blaming mental health for reasons why people go out and kill people and commit mass shootings, then find a way to help people or make it possible for people to afford health care, prescriptions, therapy sessions, etc and create a better reform so people understand the different types of mental health disorders & instead of justifying the shootings with this person suffered with a mental health disorder .. how about we take action on gun control & have a better judicial system that hands out consequences instead of slapping people on the wrist to stay moral. 

I agree with this person who quoted:Mental illnesses didn’t shoot & kill 12 people in last night. A man with a gun did. Im sick of people using mental illness as a scapegoat, which further stigmatizes those of us that struggle with it. It’s lazy & dishonest” -Khary Penebaker, Fx .

Again, I am sorry for all those that lost someone due to the shooting, I pray in time you heal and find it in your heart to continue living your best life. ❤ 

P.S I am all for conceal to carry, I believe protecting ourselves is the best method these days; especially in having to defend yourself and family/friends. Take away people’s right to protect themselves, we are left defenseless and people who can’t fend for themselves are usually left to die without being able to put up a fight. However,  I do believe we can come up with a solid solution that doesn’t take away people’s rights to defend themselves but makes it harder for those who shouldn’t have gun to obtain one, but even so, the internet is easy and accessible and people will always find a way. Sadly.

365 Days of self discovery: Day 50

10.22.18

Day 50

Do You have Self Control or it something you need to work on?

  • I think my self control is a work in progress, I find that I’ve lacked self control many times within my past relationships and it never ended well, and sometimes even within family gatherings because of a situation arising and getting me worked up. I still have work that needs done in this area (as I have recently found out) but from where I started and where I am with it now, it has shown some form of improvement. 

365 days of self discovery: Day 49

10.21.18

What is your reaction when you don’t get what you want?

  • Quite a funny question, due to the fact, I like to assume we have all somewhat had this happen & maybe we weren’t happy about it, but I will assume none of through a tantrum? or did we? lol. Well, growing up in my household, my mom always made sure me and my brother had what we need and most of our wants/if not all; so I never knew what it was like to go without something — and when there would be that ONE time where I really wanted something because someone else had it, and my mom failed to get it for me, I just assumed it was because we couldn’t afford it at the time and would try my hardest to not allow it to bother me (but we know people start to ask questions and so sometimes my classmates or teammates would ask me why I don’t have it, or when I would get it) and I would just make up some kind of lie or rather just pretend I didn’t give a shit about it to want it. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn’t & to be honest, I only remember one time of that happening & my coach would then chime in and try to help pay for it (it was a team hoodie) and my mom just didn’t have the funds right away to get it for me, not to mention it wasn’t her only priority and my coach would then ask me about it and after finding out my mom’s reason for me not having it, I don’t remember if my coach helped to afford it or if my mom just ended up paying for it later on.. either way, that probably has been the only time. Regardless, as I got older, I was then taught in order to get something I wanted, I needed to earn it with either getting a job and making money or doing something around the house that was well worthy the prize. At first it was annoying (to be fair, I didn’t get my first job until I was 18) and it wasn’t like my chores were all that hard, I was just being a lazy teen. I was really living a life of luxury, my mom did our laundry and folded our clothes, etc, hell I didn’t have to do my first batch of laundry until I was like 21 or 22  I think? lol so I can’t really say my life was hard, it wasn’t. Anyways, after obtaining my first job, and having paid for something for the first time with my own money, it felt really good to say I could afford something I wanted and then on, I kind of got used to it UNTIL I quit my job by not showing up for work & my mom didn’t find out til like later on and yeah, so I have to say, I also didn’t particularly want to work but somewhere down the line I ended up getting another job and keeping it much longer. Now that I much older than I was, and don’t rely on my mom for finances; I have had to endure things that humbled me to the point where I had to make certain sacrifices in order to obtain something I wanted, and with those experiences came a better attitude and means of handling things when I don’t get what I want. Sometimes I will still get frustrated or upset depending on the situation but many times, I shrug it off and move on.