365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.30.19

Day 23

Did you ever experience bullying? How did you deal with this?

  • Yes, I experienced bullying on multiple occasions throughout my life. I was bullied in elementary school,  two middle schools and two high schools. It was tough, because I was taught to stick up for myself and not allow people to do harm to me, thankfully, my bullying was all verbal but nonetheless, I never did stick up for myself. Normally, I would ignore it and say nothing, cry when I got home or had alone time, I would allow it to happen and not say anything to adults about it including my own family members. I pretty much did nothing. When I was being bullied by my own family sometimes, I did pretty much the same thing or I would lash out and cry, get mad and say really mean things back, remove myself from the room, etc. 
Have you ever been a victim of bullying? Did you do anything about it, or tell anyone? 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: The Past

3.08.19

Day One

What is one thing you would change about your childhood?

  • I would have chosen to stick up for myself when being bullied, instead of allowing people do so and think that is okay, or ignoring it because then it might not have happened as often. 
Now we are getting into a different section of the self discovery and I realize some people may not be comfortable talking about their past or sharing certain aspects, so if you don’t, don’t feel pressured into answering any of these questions online, instead, write them down for only your eyes to read. I do believe however you choose to answer, might be helpful in developing yourself and learning more about yourself. As for me, if any of the questions get particularly hard for me to answer, I write them down as I always do, but I will also post something to let ya’ll know that the question is particularly more private — I know I want to share aspects of me with me and you, but somethings are not always for the lookers — and I won’t force myself to share everything about me if I don’t feel the need to. Thank you for the continued support. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.07.19

Day 67

Do you let this fear rule your life, or do you deal with it in a healthy way?

  • This question stems back to the previous question asking about what your fear(s) were. To answer this question, no I don’t allow my fear to rule my life, at least I haven’t always. Now, more so than back then, I am dealing with it in a healthy way and finding ways to overcome my fears. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.06.19

Day 66

What is your biggest fear? Why do you think you are afraid?

  • My biggest fear(s) are being alone for the rest of my life (dying alone), dying in a traumatic way (car accident, murder, etc). never amounting to something and being at a constant standstill in my life (no investment in buying a house/condo, living paycheck to paycheck, having to work two jobs, not being able to afford traveling, no sense of self growth or accomplishment. 
I assume most people have a fear of something, no matter how big or small. What are your biggest fears — and why? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

2.16.19

Day 48

What makes you nervous?

  • Change. Change in routine, change in location, change in people’s character/personalities (negatively). I believe fear also makes me nervous, fear of failure, fear of challenges/obstacles & having to teach myself to overcome them, fear of unknown(s), fear of the future (not know what will come of mine), fear of new relationships & friendships (not knowing how the person(s) will turn out), fear of disappointing others, fear of making a mistake that could lead to greater consequences. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 119

12.30.18

Do you have fears of abandonment? Why could this be?

  • I had never heard of “Fear of abandonment” before having to answer this question, so I did some mini research & was shocked when I compared some of the information with myself — realizing I have this fear. I have this fear when it comes to relationships, and while I don’t show all signs, I have many of them when dating. I necessarily consider this a horrible thing, in fact, I love that I found this out about myself because now I will do more research on the matter and find ways to make this less of an issue for future relationships. I’m not 100 percent sure why I have this phobia or for how long I have had it to go into great detail, but I believe it could be some form of trauma I experienced in previous relationships (that I was aware of, or blocked out) or perhaps something from my childhood triggered it. While this isn’t something to brag about, I do believe it is important to be honest with myself, I could have chosen to deny this and pretend it isn’t a thing; but what good would that have been? Hopefully if any of you have this fear, you feel comfortable enough to express it & if you don’t know, look into it and get an understanding of it and what it means — you might be surprised. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 69

11.10.18

Are you a confident person or do you find yourself doubting your abilities?

  •  I am a little bit of both. I am confident but at the same time I find myself doubting myself and what I am capable of due to fear; fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown. Many times I start off confident but then my mind/thoughts get the best of me and I start second guessing myself.