365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

2.05.19

Day 37

What causes you to be anxious?

  • Running late
  • Starting a new job
  • moving to a new location (new state, city, new roommates, etc)
  • traveling someplace new on my own
  • being in crowded spaces
  • having to make difficult decisions
  • not feeling financially secure or having to worry about finances/bills
  • driving in bad weather
  • weight gain, body fat increase (self image)
  • exams/test
  • failing at something
  • First dates
  • when I lose something important to me
  • when other people around me are having a bad day — & their attitudes toward me are negative
  • when people are talking badly about me in my presence.
  • being involved in confrontations
  • talking on the phone
  • adulting sometimes
These are are just a short list of things that cause me to be anxious. Feel free to add your own list in the comment section. 
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365 Days of self discovery: Day 72

11.13.18

What makes you uncomfortable?

  • I will list a few things that come to mind:
  1. Confrontation
  2. Listening to people/ having people talk to me about their sexual experiences in detail 
  3. When men flirt with me, expecting something in return (especially if I don’t know them)
  4. Being stared at
  5. shopping during busy store hours
  6. using public restrooms when other patrons are in the bathroom with me
  7. having heard/listen to people slander me or talk badly about me indirectly, talking to someone else or under their breath
  8. Getting undressed and dressed in locker rooms among other people or women
  9. period cramps
  10. Having to walk in not well lit parking lots
  11. being in a financial hardship
  12. going to parties where I don’t know the area or guest
  13. driving long distances in the dark
  14. feeling bloated
  15. having to hold my bladder due to being in conversation and afraid to excuse myself
  16. some form of compliments depending on the person giving it
I am sure many of you may be able to relate to some of the things I listed, but what about things I haven’t, what makes you uncomfortable? 

365 days of self discovery: day 11

Day 11

What is your greatest accomplishment?

To be honest, there are very few things in my life I would consider as accomplishments, because this word I use seldom when talking about myself due to the fact I don’t feel as though I have accomplished enough to say I have drastically seen progress in my life. The few important things that have happened in my life that I am proud of and are of great accomplishment to me was: Graduating college with a degree & passing my ACSM CPT exam after failing it for 3 years straight and having to save up money each time (which many times put me at risk of not being able to pay another bill) because at the time I was crunching numbers financially in order to save up enough for the exam each time I failed & was close to giving up. 

Both of those events have served me well in the recent years and have given me such a confidence boost to know I did something other people couldn’t do or haven’t done or gave up doing. It was a breath of fresh air to do both of these things and know it would benefit my career and future. To say the least, it made me feel less of a let down and more like a role model for my youngest brother and these are moments I will cherish that happened in time and with work, tons of sacrifice and tons of failures in between. 

What would you consider your greatest accomplishment? What is something you have done against the odds or that made you feel on top of the world when you achieved it? Doesn’t matter how small or big, it is still something worth mentioning. Leave a comment telling me about it and be sure to follow and like 🙂

Shay-lon

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 6

What do you need to make you feel safe?

Hard enough question because the only time I probably ever felt 100 percent safe was growing up living with my family & knowing they loved me.  I guess as kids, you almost always feel safe with your loved ones & don’t think of the dangers of the outside world because you assume your parents are “superheros” and defeat all the bad guys. LOL Although there is some of you who have family members who are the bad guys, and you knew at an early age of what it meant to not feel safe, to not know where you end up: dead, alive, beaten, hungry, etc. & I couldn’t imagine those fates — so I try to be grateful for having tough love as a kid but love nonetheless. These days, to feel safe means to live in bliss, because in fact the world is in chaos (and now at an older age, it’s brought to my attention more and more) now to feel safe, I need to know I can protect myself and trust myself to make good decisions (sound decisions) and hopefully be observant of my surroundings & cautious of the people I allow within my circle/ and how much information I am willing to give to social media as well (including my blog). Not to say nobody can feel safe these days, but with more technology and it evolving daily, with more people with bad intentions, and with giving our trust to others, being “safe” is hard. We shouldn’t live paranoid of bad things happening, but hell, I can’t exclude the chances of it happening, because I wasn’t guaranteed a tomorrow, were you?

I suppose I have a small list of things that I need if I want to live a relatively safe lifestyle but can’t say I haven’t taken risk — because what is a life to be lived, if you can’t live it doing something you love. 

  1. Financial stability —- mostly due to the fact knowing that I have someplace to live, something to eat each day, something to drive to work each day, something to shield me in case of bad weather; I am blessed to be able to afford a place to live, it might not be a mansion but it’s shelter & that’s better than what some people have. We take for granted we have a place to call home or at least “crash” at, but I don’t know if I’d survive the streets being homeless —& many people live that life each day without knowing where they will end up. 
  2. Family— I mean I have always been within miles of my family in the same town/city as they are (not all my family members) but my mom and brothers & one of my grandmas whom I am close to, so when the day comes where I plan to move to another city or possibly state, it will be hard because it will be without the safety net of family who love me and have been there for me since growing up. For some people, they may say their friends; but I have a hard time mentioning friends because I have had so many come and go throughout my life, that I can’t say any of them made me feel completely safe — that if I needed a place to stay they would be the one to do it. I know if something happened to me, my family would be the ones to come to the rescue. 
  3. My faith — i believe faith makes a whole hell of a difference, I feel as though my prayers are questions that get answered at some point, it gives me a sense of safety knowing there is a higher power who protects me as well — and allows me to feel as though when I die, I have a place that I can look forward to. I believe that if one has some form of faith (no matter what practice) it encourages safety, and feeling at peace.
  4. A clear conscious— WEIRD? yes I know, because I like knowing that when I lay my head down I don’t have to worry about the possibility of someone wanting me dead. I mean this in a sense that if I have wronged someone, I like to make sure I get the chance to apologize or reconcile or something that brings me a better conscious knowing I did something right in place of my wrong, in hopes that person doesn’t hold a vendetta over my head and want me dead. Not to say it couldn’t happen, because whose to say people will always forgive me, but I just pray it doesn’t escalate to this level of revenge. Ya know?
  5. A good environment — because it can make all the difference. If you live in the projects and have to worry about being on the wrong block with wrong colors, or if you live within a household with ongoing abuse, having a circle of friends who take part in activities that put your life/their lives at risk, living in a town where you feel uncomfortable because of the color of your skin (due to how people treat you), or having to worry about the sex offended who lives upstairs from you and your family, etc. The environment in which you live in & surround yourself with can make a difference in how safe one may feel. I don’t live in the Hamptons, but I don’t live on a street where people would fear their lives walking & thankfully my household is not full of abuse nor neglect & my neighbors haven’t given me a reason to suspect they are weirdos, but you never really know — I try to make sure I am on top of that stuff because my youngest brother comes to visit sometimes and I want to be aware of his safety as well. 

All-in-all my list might be short but it has clear meaning in what I need in order to feel safe, sure I could have mentioned a weapon of some sorts (which I do carry multiple; especially when traveling) and of course I’d say knowing we have a legal system so that if an emergency arises, I know they will respond, having a cellphone for emergencies & common sense because lord knows without that, I wouldn’t be making the best of choices most of the time. I just assume those are all things we probably could all be thankful for in regards to safety, so I wanted to give a better answer that meant something to me & my sense of safety. 

Thank you for reading & hopefully all of you will leave comments answering this same question, because honestly, maybe everyone has their own sense of what it means to feel safe. Share, like and follow!

Shay-lon

BEGREATGUYS #5 — My exam story (Try Again)

I have learned many things, some of which made a difference in my life. One of which, is learning to “try again”, which for some is easy enough but for others like myself, “trying again” is scary and makes us overwhelmed, makes us anxious and gives us stress. Stress we don’t need nor want. I can tell you of many incidences where I wanted to try again but didn’t due to fear and not knowing, due to low self esteem and negative thinking and due to lack of courage. I grew up on “trying” and giving it my best; my mom always told me and my siblings this growing up — and even then it was easier said than done. Almost like now. Where trying something for a second or third time seems like a waste of time, especially when you don’t know how it will end. 

I learned REAL soon, that trying again can be the door that opens opportunity — All it takes is a positive mindset, belief in yourself and capabilities & your “why”  (in other words the reason that you NEED to try again, why is this important to you) because without a why, you lose focus and give up. This almost happened to me within this year. 

Just recently I got certified in Personal Training by ACSM (one of the hardest personal training exams right next to CSCS) and holds the “Gold standard” for the fitness industry because it was the FIRST certification and very few people pass this exam the first time let alone the second time. I graduated college May 2016 and took the exam for the first time December of 2016 and FAILED. Mind you it cost me 300 dollars to take it, and I didn’t have whole lot of financial stability at the time, so I knew it would take some saving up before I could afford it while also having to afford bills. I was very discouraged this first time (you can take it after 15 days with a discounted price) but at the time I could not afford to retake it, so I went a whole other year before re-taking it again. The first time I cried and got very upset. The second time, I had something new weighing on me, they were changing the cirriculum for this exam after this test date, so if I failed it this time, it meant having to buy new books & taking time to study the new material (expenses and time) so I retook the test Dec. 2017 and FAILED, again. Now I was very pissed off, I had cried at the gym when telling my boss/owner and sharing the news with a couple of gym members, it was like the world was falling on top of me and I couldn’t breath and didn’t know what to do, I started to think that maybe I was too dumb for this test — people gave me other names of personal training certs I could do: ACE, NASM, ISSA, etc but I didn’t want to do those, I wanted ACSM, it appealed to me because of the recognition it receives and how few people have passed. I wanted to pass it. 

In the meantime while my self esteem was low, I started looking into other cert options in case I wanted to give up on ACSM (and do know I did want to give up) because I even got ahold of NASM and talked with a rep about being interested in taking their exam and pricing and same with ACE. I even researched ISSA to see what it was about. When it was all said and done, I decided I would give ACSM a try ONCE more, because the material was new, I figured I’d rather study this new stuff then to spend more money with a whole other company/cert. Once again I was praying I could afford the new books/study aids — thankfully Amazon had it for decent price and because of using the trial period of Prime, I was able to have them shipped quickly to my house. I got my books and dug in, I decided to once again make note cards, but beforehand, read both textbooks while taking notes in a notebook then used the notes on the notecards and made over 100+ note cards to study from and used the ACSM pocket prep app. I was focused, UNTIL I wasn’t, I had set the date to February to retake the test but realized I wasn’t ready yet, so changed it to March but because I was too busy having fun on my birthday — I changed the date to April to give me more time to study (which I didn’t use my time to study very well) I got distracted by friends and wanting to hang out that I put my studies in second place & the times I could study I would have rather been able to go to bed early. I work two jobs so sleep is important to me. It wasn’t until a week before that I really dug into my notes and focused. I was overwhelmed but made it a priority to study because I didn’t want to keep rescheduling my exam. Long story short, I studies until midnight the night before and woke up bright and very, very early to eat breakfast, study and calm my nerves so I could come prepared with clarity. 

Walking into the testing center made me anxious but I was confident in myself and didn’t allow the nerves to take over my mind or fill me with negative thoughts. The test was 150 questions and I had to score 550 in order to pass. The test was HARD, very difficult but I could confidently say that I knew about 20 of the questions without pondering but the rest depended on memory, being able to answer practical questions and hoping that I can do a good job of guessing if I didn’t know the answer. Unlike the previous test, I went through all the flagged questions I had issues with and made sure I answered them to the best of my ability and even left 20 minutes on the clock before finishing the test because I took my time with this test, I wanted to do my best and give my best answers. 

I PASSED. I passed the test with a 557 score. I cried with a smile on my face and walked out that testing center not believing what just happened. I texted the first 5 people I wanted to share the news with and posted on Facebook the news. Everything was starting to make sense to me after this day, I didn’t give up. I could have very well not tried again but because I took the dive and TRIED AGAIN, I found out I could do it. I passed the exam and I am ever so blessed and happy with the results. Moral of the story, TRY AGAIN. 

“When you try something for the first time, you might find you aren’t the best at it, but doesn’t mean you can’t get better” – Shay-lon Moss

Shay-lon 

Check out my Instagram with the posted good news: ACSM cert

26 compared to 25. (Motivation Monday)

It’s probably fair to assume that since turning 26 on Thursday March 22nd, I have looked back on my life & everything that has changed (my goals, my maturity level, my growth, my career goals, my morals, my circle of friends, etc) some of the changes haven’t been big, but gradual over the course of the years and other changes, I made right away because it was “time”; time to develop myself and strive for new goals for myself. Goals that would challenge me and that could be accomplished by the time I reach 27 of next year. 

To begin with, I believe the big change in my life since turning 26 is my maturity level and level of understanding myself, this doesn’t mean that I won’t have fun at 26 or will live life “seriously” every given day; it means I have new priorities and obligations that mean more to me this year to have accomplished than it did the previous years. It means when I tell myself I want to do something — I will do it, because I am getting older and time is of the essence; and it means I am going to focus on my prospering my life a whole lot more. The fun will be there; the living life to the fullest won’t disappear, but the journey will be more focused and more dedicated than before. The “understanding myself” part is the time I have taken to clear my mind of the past mistakes and opening my mind to what it means to be happy within myself, finding ways to conquer my bad days, humbling myself in order to create a better circle of people who surround me, taking time to “treat” myself, putting myself first, getting to know my flaws & learning to better myself in all areas of my life one step at a time. All of these things about understanding who I am, is going to take time & won’t come fast but it shows I have progressed when I can see changes in myself that make me happy. 

 

My career goals, have pretty much stayed the same but with a addition of things that will help fulfill my life & add more fun to my goals — keep me on my feet but not overwhelm me with stress. Of course these goals will also take some learning on my part and some networking and possibly even more sacrifices — in the beginning, I wasn’t prepared for this, but now I feel I am more prepared because I see what I do on a daily basis and realize I have to have balance in my life to achieve my success — I have to work harder with more effort but not work harder and stressed. That’s a huge change I am making for myself, learning to find ways to cope with overwhelming amounts of stress (stress won’t disappear, because I know it happens) but instead of shutting down; I want to work through it and find my “coping ways” so that I can live a more positive lifestyle. My career choices will be stressful in the beginning because it will be a whirlwind of emotions and dedication — but in the end, I want it to be fun and take my breathe away every time.

 

Friendships & family members. I have decided that I won’t chase after people in order to keep them close. I will make better efforts to keep in contact with close friends and mend relationships that might need mending and I will eliminate any negativity that keeps me from thriving. I will be happy for those who succeed in life and hope that when I progress, they will be happy for me. I will stay humbled, no matter how far I come, because I won’t forget where I started and who helped me to get there when I needed the boost of motivation — that’s really important, staying humble. I am going to make new friendships but be picky in choosing my friends, I will not allow family to keep me from being who I want to be in this world because it might not fit their dream. I have decided that if you want to be in my life for the long haul, then I won’t have to ask, because I will know 🙂 My friends and family I love dearly and always will, but with love doesn’t mean I have to stop going for what I want for myself, it means they should be my biggest fans and always support me through and through and if I should fall, they will be the people who I can cry on & the same people who tell me to get back up and keep going. 

 

My physical well-being. I am transforming my body to new heights, I am becoming stronger and more willing to push myself past limits that before I was too scared to try. My physique is showing changes — some I enjoy and some I do not, but with my continued fight to accept myself, I will keep training and continue to make this a trial and error situation until I find the right balance with my body and diet. I will also take more care of my skin, my hair, my outer appearance because I want to feel good and look good. 

 

Mentality — My mental state will need work, because I have anxiety and mild forms of depression at times, but I have come a long way in handling these two things and also, have found new forms of better managing them without having to take medication (I refuse to take medication, never have) so I want to keep my mental state in check and make sure that on my off days, I really take the proper “me” time. I have also decided after talking to a friend to start up writing in a journal (keeping a diary of everything each day); I used to do this but stopped last year during my break up with an ex, but I enjoyed doing it, so want to give it a go again. My body dysphoria (lack of seeing myself the way others view my body) is ongoing battle as well but I am learning to look at myself and not nit pick everything. It won’t go away, but it does have it moments where it isn’t as bad. Thankfully having an encouraging circle helps soften my blows to myself. 

 

Goals — life goals will be ever changing because I have many of them and some that I want to do before 27 and others I want to do before dying. I plan on writing them all down and checking them off. Some of the goals will be with friends and others will be done on my own but either way, I want to stay motivated and having goals will help with that, but I won’t allow myself to become upset if I shouldn’t make them in a deadline because shit happens. 

 

Financially stable. I have reached a point in my life where finances are becoming more and more important; I can’t rely on money falling from the sky, so I have to work to keep myself responsible for my lifestyle choices. While being rich would be nice, I aim to be more comfortable and to live a less lavish lifestyle and more minimal way of spending money. I will spend money on travels, food, shelter and for memories that I can keep, I will buy clothes when necessary and new shoes when needed, and will continue to spend money on loved ones on special occasions.  I won’t allow myself to go broke in order to keep up with the “Jones”, and I won’t allow myself to feel obligated to buy things for a few compliments. Taking care of myself, that will be important, making sure I can pay on credit cards, being sure I can afford groceries and living circumstances, being sure that I can afford having a social life with friends, being sure I can afford my needs — that is important to me. There was a time when affording materialistic things in order to “fit in” mattered to me, but after growing up and realizing most people don’t give a shit and realizing that I have no business trying to impress someone who is superficial in the first place — I am going to spend my money more responsibly so that in the end, I have savings, I have emergency funds and have a better grip on my finances. I began this process by cutting up all my credit cards. 

 

Dating — If I am being honest, I am single and currently not in any rush to jump into a new relationship. I am  over my ex, but not yet ready to share my life with someone because I have things I want to do on my own for the time being BUT I am open to dating and meeting people. I even started talking to someone but was upfront on my intentions. We both agreed if we end up together — awesome but if not, then we are totally okay with having a fantastic friendship — right now I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine, we have some great conversations and share many personal things with one another. I find that this time around, I know what I look for in a potential partner and have also opened my mind to other things about people that I was blinded to in the beginning because of my superficial thoughts. Wherever this road takes me, I don’t know, but for now I am enjoying myself and this is important because I want to be happy alone before adding someone to my life. 


Athlete — being an athlete is my job and hobby, it’s my thrill and stress, my fun and competition. I love it, and my continued goals of competing and influencing others to be their best self in whatever they do is ongoing. I have been sponsored by companies, have been lifting since may 2016 and will be competing in powerlifting and will then broaden my horizon in other fitness industry sports so that I am well rounded and can offer more help when training my clients and growing my business. 

In becoming an athlete and growing my social media platforms, I have found where I need work when it comes to my own lifts and where I want to grow mentally and physically. This is part of who I am and who I choose to be, I don’t need fame to make me relevant within the industry, having made my own path and working towards growing my brand — I hope my athletic ability will motivate others to be reckless, kick ass and smile every chance they get when they want to better themselves in their sports. I want my brand to be about confidence, humbled experiences and thriving from positive people. xo 



Of course there are many other aspects to my life that I feel are important == but to keep this post short and sweet, those aspects I won’t mention at this time. I believe where my life is now, is not where I want it to be next year, I want it to be bigger, better and have more achievements. I know today is Monday, and what better way to spend it than to start this new journey at 26 now. I have a book I want to write, actually two books I want to write, so that will be a whole other addition to my goals that I want to accomplish. 26 never felt so inspiring, but I am thrilled to get this path started! 

 

Thanks for reading, hopefully all of you enjoyed this read. Feel free to leave comments, share and follow my blog. 

 

Shay-lon 

 
 

Whole Foods VS Walmart

I figured this would be a fun little discussion between two grocery stores. The reason why I chose these two is because: 1) whole foods is known to be one of the better stores to have healthier options, 2.) most people know what a “Walmart” is and it is another grocery store that is popular among Americans. Both of these grocery stores have pros and cons and some of you might shop at one or the other or both depending on your needs and finances. 

 

My town does not have a Whole Foods store, but we do have a Walmart – two of them. I don’t particularly like shopping at Walmart because of it being constantly busy, sometimes the people piss me off (this is just honesty) and I live closer to a Kroger store but I will shop there for my feminine products and minor grocery depending on what it is. When I resided in Colorado Springs (I now reside in Ohio) I would go to Whole foods just for the burritos they made, so good! yum! but never actually shopped at a Whole Foods Store. The closest Whole foods to me would be about a hour or so away, so not too bad. 

 

Keep in mind this blog topic isn’t meant to make one out to be BETTER than the other – but to give perspective and start an engaging conversation as to why you shop at one or the other, or both! Maybe you don’t shop at either one of these stores, and if that is the case, share what store you prefer and why! This will be from my own perspective/data and also from research! 

 
 

Walmart:

Pros:

 
  1. They pride themselves with “Always low prices”
  2. Price matching
  3. newspaper ads, online presence
  4. During the holidays some of them offer layaway
  5. You can buy food, clothing, electronics, furniture, misc, household cleaning supplies, etc – in other words, ONE STOP SHOP! 
  6. they typically have restaurants inside them, so if you get hungry
  7. Their locations are vast
  8. huge employer
  9. most have a vision place to get exams, eyeglasses, contacts
  10. most offer a tire/lube place to have your vehicles tires replaced or oil change
  11. instore pick up or ship to home option
  12. Some might add the entertainment value (all sorts of society shop at Walmart) for a while there was a site or YouTube channel called the “people of Walmart”
  13. offers a credit card
  14. Typically attracts other businesses when a new Walmart comes to town
  15. Self check out option
  16. They accept EBT, debit/credit, checks, cash, Walmart gift cards, etc as a form of payment
  17. Typically open 24 hours
  18. Great Value brands for cheaper prices
  19. Gives towards charity
  20. They bake cakes for special occasions

Cons:

  1. Typically has one or two registers open – so either have to use the self check out or wait in long lines 
  2. Whenever I have gone to a Walmart and needed help finding a particular product, 95 percent of the time the employee didn’t even know what it was, didn’t know where it was located within the store
  3. I have found where they mark something down on a tag and it is the same price as the regular price
  4. I am not a huge fan of their produce area 
  5. I have been told the pay rate sucks as an employee there (depending on where you live)
  6. Their pricing of clothing isn’t that much cheaper than shopping someplace else with better quality (in my opinion where I reside)
  7. The cashiers always seem in a sad or bad mood whenever I’ve been there. lol I have had some rude ones too! 
  8. I don’t like their quality of beef or chicken 
  9. Sometimes the great value price is higher than the name brand
  10. People drive like maniacs through their parking lot — this is just from my own experience 
  11. It’s a huge store, many times you have to go from one end to the other to get everything you need – so if you are ever in a rush for time, this is probably not your go to

Now this whole pro and con list is again from my experience and different research I’ve done, be sure to add your own opinions to either list! 

 

Whole Foods

Pros:

  1. Good for college students who are need of a job (research says many college students work here to earn extra income)
  2. Supposedly great medical insurance 
  3. Quality products 
  4. Most if not all of them offer a salad bar, food kitchen area to have food made out for you to go or stay and eat
  5. surrounded by people who like eating healthier food options
  6. Educates people on healthy eating
  7. Variety of food products
  8. All meat sources at Whole foods is said to be raised without hormones or antibiotics 
  9. Gluten free food selection
  10. Typically more local foods found here
  11. They care about the environment
  12. By 2018 they are supposedly going to commit to GMO labeling on all their products
  13. Quality standards for both farm and wild caught seafood
  14. offers coupons
  15. online recipes on their site
  16. able to shop online
  17. offer flyers
 

Cons:

  1. Not a one stop shop
  2. tends to be more expensive
  3. Located in bigger cities vs smaller communities (typically)
  4. spending more and bringing home less groceries (a reviewer said)
  5. Some people prefer trader Joes over whole foods.
  6. Bigger stores – again can make it harder to navigate
  7. Have been reported they sometimes make it hard to tell the prices of things on their shelves

Again, Whole foods list of pros and cons came from my own experience and other reviews I had seen online. Feel free to add to either list your opinions! 

 

I hope all of you enjoyed this fun topic between the two stores! the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF CHOOSING A GROCERY STORE is choosing one that fits your needs and budget! 🙂

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon