My BLOGVERSARY! *2018

Another Year & I am Still Here.

 

What can I say, still here another year writing and sharing pieces of me that hopefully one day either develop into a story or starts a business where people can’t wait to read what I have to say because it will be something people will want to hear daily. Blogging is second nature to everything else I know, I didn’t start blogging with any idea of how far I could possibly go, or how far I would come — it was just my way to get my health/fitness business started, a way to ignite the important of fitness/health & a host to all my information. For awhile I started going through a couple of my old pieces of writing where the passion was fire and the likes were little to none, and started to read each month & seen the increase of readers, comments, likes, and the amount of post I would do within a day just to make sure I was doing “enough” — by your standards and mine. I started blogging with so little information and no guide, naturally I was having to do this by researching and asking other blogger’s questions (didn’t always help) but there were a few who were helpful and lead me in the right direction. By the time I stepped into my first post, I wrote something and hoped for the best outcome. Took a long time for the best outcome to happen, but it did and it has been growing since then, not as fast but steady and still maintaining some of the same faces who followed me in the beginning are still following me now, it’s wonderful! Blogging has been a magical experience with its good and bad days, and many days I thought about taking long breaks and giving up due to the pressure of my stats not doing so well, but then I seen the way it opened up other outlets (affiliates, marketing, guest post, friendships, mentors, writing for companies/editors, etc) it was worth staying to learn and grow more, it was worth seeing my stats at an all time low in order to prove that it could once more be great, once more be worthy of a following & it was worth watching myself develop as a writer and person through blogging. 

You see blogging wasn’t just for entertainment and for business reasons, it was for personal reasons, I didn’t think I could find an outlet that allowed me to speak to people in the form of writing without fear of what others may think — I don’t speak about my feelings as well as others, and so when I started writing, everything that was on my mind; I allowed it to flow onto the screen and I didn’t look back after hitting “publish” — it was my way of opening up to myself just as this 365 days of self discovery has been. If you take the time to look back on my writing, you will see where the topics have changed, the amount of post a day have changed and my voice within my pieces have stayed the same — because my voice is what captured people, it was the difference between me and the next person writing about the same topic (as yours is unique as well). The foundation of my writing comes from the wonderful readers/writers whom I follow and have continued to be supportive of me as well, they are what sparked these changes in my writing, what helped me to keep going many times, and have been the reason for many of my accomplishments at one point. I owe many thanks to many bloggers who have been more than just a daily reader, but more of a companion & an overseas friend. I couldn’t possibly list them all, because this post would never have an ending but special thanks to:

 

Jim, Ty, PooGja, James, Brad, Bella  — these six have always been wonderful to have, no matter where I land, & no matter how much I slack, they still seem to be around when I come back. Thank you! I appreciate you & I appreciate anyone else whom I did not name, don’t feel left out, because  I recognize new and old followers alike — and I cherish every moment it has created for me and memory I can keep. 

#CheersToManyMoreYears #StillIRise #Shay-lonMoss

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365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 92

12.03.18

Are you a good communicator?

  • At a very young age up until late high school, I struggled with my socialization skills & communicating with peers. Especially when it came to voicing my opinion, confrontations, debates, communicating my feelings/thoughts to others, etc. It wasn’t that I was anti-social or didn’t have any friends, I was very outgoing (still am) and had friends, but I was what most would probably consider “awkward”; Having a conversation with someone was harder due to my social anxiety — being a class clown all my life was my way of communicating and making friends, it seemed so much easier to find ways to make people laugh, than it was trying to talk to people in normal day to day conversations. I have many reasons as to why I feel as though I was struggling with this, mostly with other women vs men. I was a tomboy, so being one of the guys and hanging with my younger brother was my way of trying to fit in, vs hanging out with a bunch of girls from school. At a young age, I knew I was different, but it didn’t strike me as hard until I realized that maybe I had an attraction towards the same sex, and this just made communicating / socializing even harder at times. As I got older, I started to learn to open up to people more and had more conversation & my class clown acts weren’t as rapid, but after suffering from  losing friends, and having to move to different states/change schools, my communication skills started to once again dwindle because of my social anxiety from not knowing anyone. At the same time I had a hard time communicating with my own parent, my mom wasn’t the easiest lady talking to growing up (still has her moments now) because she is both stubborn and stuck in her ways and she believes what she says, goes — so I didn’t really have the confidence to speak up to her about certain matters until later in life. I’d say now, my communication skills aren’t perfect & I still have social anxiety, but I am better at voicing my opinion to peers, better at communicating my feelings within relationships and with close friends & I have gotten better at trying to voice my thoughts to my mom (even when she doesn’t seem to want to hear about it), regardless, I am glad this is something I have learned to excel at, and having taken a communication class in college, helped me to be able to talk in front of others with less fear. The hardest thing is keeping in touch with people — I am not good at doing that. 

Thanksgiving Shouldn’t be Stressful on your stomach

Breathe.

Everything will be okay, no need to stress about what to eat, how to eat or when to eat.

It’s quite simple, what I am going to tell you. No reason to change yourself for a holiday, but a good reason to prepare for it, so when it comes in your direction, you are more than ready for the opportunity to enjoy yourself. 

  1. Thanksgiving is about enjoying time with family/friends/peers 
  2. You may attend as many Thanksgiving parties as you wish — don’t interpret this as greedy but instead as there is no number rule when it comes to attending family gatherings — it’s once a year, spend it with people.
  3. Food will be present 

Those top 3 things listed above should help you prepare. The next line will help you get through the holiday with a positive mindset.

  1. Eating is okay. 
  2. Trust yourself to make sound decisions. You will know when you are full because you know your body.
  3. Don’t go in with the mindset: “I will only eat this, this this” or “I will only eat one plate” or “no dessert this year” etc. Those are all grand ideas if you follow through but chances are, you won’t follow through and when you don’t, you will have then failed yourself enough to be frustrated — then comes stress eating because you give up on yourself. 
  4. Instead attend the dinner with the mindset: “I need food for energy, I need food for survival and food fuels me” with these words in mind, you won’t be stressed out, but will be positive.
  5. If you want to stay disciplined during the Thanksgiving Holiday with your weight loss plan: Eat a balanced meal. Drink plenty of water and stay active (go for a walk, attend the gym in the morning before dinner, chase the kids/grandkids around the house/yard, etc) if moving is going to be hard on you, then be sure to stretch every once in a while — you might be stuck in a chair watching football, but make the effort to stretch so you can get some form of movement) it’s better than nothing. Also be sure to share good news with the family about how your weight loss plan is coming along — it will help you stay on track with good support cheering you on! 

I realize the Holiday can be hard with all the temptation of food at work events, home, family gatherings, etc. You have worked hard on yourself and meeting your goals, they shouldn’t be thrown away because you had a plate of mac & cheese — and cheesecake for dessert. Food is fuel for the mind & body. Having a goal that you will eat one plate, is hard.. because whose to say you will be full after one plate? and why should you stack that ONE plate with everything just to meet your needs? Telling yourself you will only eat certain foods is hard too, because when you cook for yourself, you eat what you like & it should be the same during Thanksgiving. The problem people seem to run into is the fear of “overeating” or not making healthy, wise decisions during this Holiday. Many times, overeating does occur and the choices of healthy food is lacking or not something you really want to eat but force yourself to (which makes you unhappy and cranky) — the solution is eating a balanced meal (proteins, carbs, veggies, fiber, fats) – that way you are eating things you enjoy & aren’t missing out on the nutrients! If you are attending more than one Thanksgiving in a weeks time or on the same day, then eat according to how you feel from the previous dinner (if you are full, don’t eat), if you ate less veggies, and more carbs the first time, switch it this time around. No need to eliminate food from the diet UNLESS you choose to do that & can follow through and keep a positive mindset doing it. 

Keep in mind, I want Thanksgiving to be stress free eating and a focus on appreciating the fact you are spending it with loved ones. Keep in mind what you are eating and how much of it you are eating — if you can’t finish the plate, save if for later or the next day. Don’t be afraid of food, but be cautious of what your body is telling you, it will be your guide. If you don’t think you can trust you body with making sound decisions, then hold yourself accountable & be aware of your food choices and portion sizes.  Hopefully this will be helpful for your Holiday 😀 if you have anything you want to add, feel free to leave comments!

Shay-lon Moss

 

RIP To All Those Who lost their lives

I just want to take the time to say how sorry I am for all those currently struggling with the loss of their loved ones during the last night’s shooting in California at Borderline Bar and Grill. This world is chaos, and it has become a “normal” thing for these mass shootings, soft shooting to take place anywhere and everywhere. That’s sad, pathetic and scary. I was on twitter today and reading the masses of tweets and one in particular stood out to me (I dont have cable any longer, so I feel am always last to know things unless posted on FB or instagram or a friend should tell me) and did you guys know that this shooting marked 304th mass shooting of 2018 thus far. It blows my mind more and more when I think about it because we used to grow up in this mentality that “my neighborhood is safe, this town has hardly any crime, this could never happen here to me, what are the chances of it happening here, and the most crimes we have are small.. ” well guess what America? NEWS FLASH! but safe is relative & there is no safe zone, nobody is safe from destruction besides the dead. Hell, growing up, I always thought this town was safe from all harm due to it being a pretty well established area with very little crime but now, we have drug overdoses every week, we have had people killed from gunshots and stabbings and we have car break ins, etc.. and guess what? that’s not nearly half of what goes on here that the crooked system tries to hide, regardless, crime can happen everywhere and no state, city, county is safe from a mass shooting erupting — people don’t give a fuck! I hate to say it, but people who want to harm others; on a mission to make hell for someone else isn’t going to discriminate where it takes place, if they have the tools and the way in, they will take it & we need not forget that aspect. 

Our country has been talking about “gun control” since the Pulse shooting and yet there has not been a solution in place, not enough action being taken and too much conversation that prolongs the process before another shooting happens. We say gun control, we say we need to not continue to make mass shootings a normal happening, we say we need to band together and come up with a solution, we say we need to change the laws, we say we need to ban certain people from obtaining weapons, etc, but what haven’t we done? we haven’t done enough.. we are discussing the same policies, the same written documents, the same agendas we were discussing back when things started and now we are doing the same thing , and this is giving perps more time to plan the next chaotic attack because we aren’t taking enough action. I am scared for our country and the future, scared for my family and friends, scared for myself and people who I don’t even know — innocent people’s lives.. I am scared because no matter what we decide, people aren’t going to wait for us to take action, they will continue to do these shootings because they can and will. When we finally take some sort of action, it probably still won’t be enough because the internet makes things easily accessible & we live in sick, cruel world where all it takes is a click of a button, power and or money and BOOM!

I was reading a post on twitter on how we are blaming these shootings on mental health problems/disorders and conditions but how dare we use this as a scapegoat each time someone decides to become radical and do a mass shooting. I couldn’t agree more with the person who stated it, because hell, I suffer from mental health disorders but I am not out here shooting up buildings, blowing up people and taking innocent lives — and while I know mental health is running rapid & many times people can’t afford medication, don’t know they suffer from something or can’t afford to get help they need, it doesn’t mean all of us with mental health disorders are taking it upon ourselves to kill people. I am more than aware that some have severe cases of mental health issues and can cause harm to themselves and others but I don’t believe we should continue using mental health as a scapegoat because I believe it fuels the stigma already placed on people who suffer from mental health disorders/conditions. If mental health is an issue (which it is when people can’t afford or have the help they seek or need) then lets come up with something to help those in need — but if every time we assumed someone who killed someone has a mental health disorder, it would be bullshit because there are so many people in their right mind who just are evil people doing these things, it doesn’t always come down to them having a mental health disorder, sometimes they are just malicious people with bad intents. Two things:

  1. We need to focus on the fact that NOT every person who goes out and does a senseless act has a mental health disorder, fact is, people can be evil and do crimes like this, it doesn’t mean they have PTSD or anxiety or anything else, it could just mean, they are evil and have bad intentions. 
  2.  If we want to keep blaming mental health for reasons why people go out and kill people and commit mass shootings, then find a way to help people or make it possible for people to afford health care, prescriptions, therapy sessions, etc and create a better reform so people understand the different types of mental health disorders & instead of justifying the shootings with this person suffered with a mental health disorder .. how about we take action on gun control & have a better judicial system that hands out consequences instead of slapping people on the wrist to stay moral. 

I agree with this person who quoted:Mental illnesses didn’t shoot & kill 12 people in last night. A man with a gun did. Im sick of people using mental illness as a scapegoat, which further stigmatizes those of us that struggle with it. It’s lazy & dishonest” -Khary Penebaker, Fx .

Again, I am sorry for all those that lost someone due to the shooting, I pray in time you heal and find it in your heart to continue living your best life. ❤ 

P.S I am all for conceal to carry, I believe protecting ourselves is the best method these days; especially in having to defend yourself and family/friends. Take away people’s right to protect themselves, we are left defenseless and people who can’t fend for themselves are usually left to die without being able to put up a fight. However,  I do believe we can come up with a solid solution that doesn’t take away people’s rights to defend themselves but makes it harder for those who shouldn’t have gun to obtain one, but even so, the internet is easy and accessible and people will always find a way. Sadly.

365 Days of Self Discovery Day 13

What would your ideal day be?

My ideal day would be traveling someplace new with someone I am dating or a close friend, blasting music, nice weather and good conversation. I adore roadtrips & adventure, things that allow me to explore or give  a sense of happiness because it’s taking me someplace new or perhaps someplace I have been before but outside of the box in which I live in. 

What would your ideal day be? some may say a day indoors with a good movie & others may say fishing on the countryside, what it may be, share it in the comments & let us know! Remember to like, share and follow! 

Shay-lon

BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 
 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 


But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 


When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 


Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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Gym Partner Monday

Today was one of those days where I wasn’t in town to attend my regular gym and I still wanted to get a workout in, in order to not skip a Monday. Thankfully, my friend, whom I was staying with over the weekend, agreed to attend the gym with me earlier this morning at her gym. Now, if I had to attend without her, i probably would have, but not have liked it very much because of the fact it was a new environment that I am not yet used to and have only been to once before. With as long as I have been lifting, you would assume I wouldn’t have any issues with the gyms, but I still have my small insecurities when entering a new gym in a new place. Today’s workout was both quick and very simple. In the mix of it all, I was able to show her new exercises and push her past what she would normally feel comfortable doing, I love doing that; boosting someone’s confidence and making them feel good about their abilities. 

 

Workout:

 
  • Smith machine bench press: 3 x 6, 75 lbs, 95 lbs

Superset:

  • Smith machine bentover row: 3 x 8, 75 lbs
  • smith machine upright row: 3 x 8, 45 lbs

Superset:

  • Seated Db shoulder press: 3 x 8, 40 lbs
  • seated Db lateral raise: 3 x 8, 20 lbs

Superset:

  • Seat low row: 3 x 8, 100 lbs
  • wide grip lat pulldown: 3 x 8, 70 lbs