RIP To All Those Who lost their lives

I just want to take the time to say how sorry I am for all those currently struggling with the loss of their loved ones during the last night’s shooting in California at Borderline Bar and Grill. This world is chaos, and it has become a “normal” thing for these mass shootings, soft shooting to take place anywhere and everywhere. That’s sad, pathetic and scary. I was on twitter today and reading the masses of tweets and one in particular stood out to me (I dont have cable any longer, so I feel am always last to know things unless posted on FB or instagram or a friend should tell me) and did you guys know that this shooting marked 304th mass shooting of 2018 thus far. It blows my mind more and more when I think about it because we used to grow up in this mentality that “my neighborhood is safe, this town has hardly any crime, this could never happen here to me, what are the chances of it happening here, and the most crimes we have are small.. ” well guess what America? NEWS FLASH! but safe is relative & there is no safe zone, nobody is safe from destruction besides the dead. Hell, growing up, I always thought this town was safe from all harm due to it being a pretty well established area with very little crime but now, we have drug overdoses every week, we have had people killed from gunshots and stabbings and we have car break ins, etc.. and guess what? that’s not nearly half of what goes on here that the crooked system tries to hide, regardless, crime can happen everywhere and no state, city, county is safe from a mass shooting erupting — people don’t give a fuck! I hate to say it, but people who want to harm others; on a mission to make hell for someone else isn’t going to discriminate where it takes place, if they have the tools and the way in, they will take it & we need not forget that aspect. 

Our country has been talking about “gun control” since the Pulse shooting and yet there has not been a solution in place, not enough action being taken and too much conversation that prolongs the process before another shooting happens. We say gun control, we say we need to not continue to make mass shootings a normal happening, we say we need to band together and come up with a solution, we say we need to change the laws, we say we need to ban certain people from obtaining weapons, etc, but what haven’t we done? we haven’t done enough.. we are discussing the same policies, the same written documents, the same agendas we were discussing back when things started and now we are doing the same thing , and this is giving perps more time to plan the next chaotic attack because we aren’t taking enough action. I am scared for our country and the future, scared for my family and friends, scared for myself and people who I don’t even know — innocent people’s lives.. I am scared because no matter what we decide, people aren’t going to wait for us to take action, they will continue to do these shootings because they can and will. When we finally take some sort of action, it probably still won’t be enough because the internet makes things easily accessible & we live in sick, cruel world where all it takes is a click of a button, power and or money and BOOM!

I was reading a post on twitter on how we are blaming these shootings on mental health problems/disorders and conditions but how dare we use this as a scapegoat each time someone decides to become radical and do a mass shooting. I couldn’t agree more with the person who stated it, because hell, I suffer from mental health disorders but I am not out here shooting up buildings, blowing up people and taking innocent lives — and while I know mental health is running rapid & many times people can’t afford medication, don’t know they suffer from something or can’t afford to get help they need, it doesn’t mean all of us with mental health disorders are taking it upon ourselves to kill people. I am more than aware that some have severe cases of mental health issues and can cause harm to themselves and others but I don’t believe we should continue using mental health as a scapegoat because I believe it fuels the stigma already placed on people who suffer from mental health disorders/conditions. If mental health is an issue (which it is when people can’t afford or have the help they seek or need) then lets come up with something to help those in need — but if every time we assumed someone who killed someone has a mental health disorder, it would be bullshit because there are so many people in their right mind who just are evil people doing these things, it doesn’t always come down to them having a mental health disorder, sometimes they are just malicious people with bad intents. Two things:

  1. We need to focus on the fact that NOT every person who goes out and does a senseless act has a mental health disorder, fact is, people can be evil and do crimes like this, it doesn’t mean they have PTSD or anxiety or anything else, it could just mean, they are evil and have bad intentions. 
  2.  If we want to keep blaming mental health for reasons why people go out and kill people and commit mass shootings, then find a way to help people or make it possible for people to afford health care, prescriptions, therapy sessions, etc and create a better reform so people understand the different types of mental health disorders & instead of justifying the shootings with this person suffered with a mental health disorder .. how about we take action on gun control & have a better judicial system that hands out consequences instead of slapping people on the wrist to stay moral. 

I agree with this person who quoted:Mental illnesses didn’t shoot & kill 12 people in last night. A man with a gun did. Im sick of people using mental illness as a scapegoat, which further stigmatizes those of us that struggle with it. It’s lazy & dishonest” -Khary Penebaker, Fx .

Again, I am sorry for all those that lost someone due to the shooting, I pray in time you heal and find it in your heart to continue living your best life. ❤ 

P.S I am all for conceal to carry, I believe protecting ourselves is the best method these days; especially in having to defend yourself and family/friends. Take away people’s right to protect themselves, we are left defenseless and people who can’t fend for themselves are usually left to die without being able to put up a fight. However,  I do believe we can come up with a solid solution that doesn’t take away people’s rights to defend themselves but makes it harder for those who shouldn’t have gun to obtain one, but even so, the internet is easy and accessible and people will always find a way. Sadly.

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365 Days of Self Discovery Day 13

What would your ideal day be?

My ideal day would be traveling someplace new with someone I am dating or a close friend, blasting music, nice weather and good conversation. I adore roadtrips & adventure, things that allow me to explore or give  a sense of happiness because it’s taking me someplace new or perhaps someplace I have been before but outside of the box in which I live in. 

What would your ideal day be? some may say a day indoors with a good movie & others may say fishing on the countryside, what it may be, share it in the comments & let us know! Remember to like, share and follow! 

Shay-lon

BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 
 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 


But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 


When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 


Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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Gym Partner Monday

Today was one of those days where I wasn’t in town to attend my regular gym and I still wanted to get a workout in, in order to not skip a Monday. Thankfully, my friend, whom I was staying with over the weekend, agreed to attend the gym with me earlier this morning at her gym. Now, if I had to attend without her, i probably would have, but not have liked it very much because of the fact it was a new environment that I am not yet used to and have only been to once before. With as long as I have been lifting, you would assume I wouldn’t have any issues with the gyms, but I still have my small insecurities when entering a new gym in a new place. Today’s workout was both quick and very simple. In the mix of it all, I was able to show her new exercises and push her past what she would normally feel comfortable doing, I love doing that; boosting someone’s confidence and making them feel good about their abilities. 

 

Workout:

 
  • Smith machine bench press: 3 x 6, 75 lbs, 95 lbs

Superset:

  • Smith machine bentover row: 3 x 8, 75 lbs
  • smith machine upright row: 3 x 8, 45 lbs

Superset:

  • Seated Db shoulder press: 3 x 8, 40 lbs
  • seated Db lateral raise: 3 x 8, 20 lbs

Superset:

  • Seat low row: 3 x 8, 100 lbs
  • wide grip lat pulldown: 3 x 8, 70 lbs
 

26 compared to 25. (Motivation Monday)

It’s probably fair to assume that since turning 26 on Thursday March 22nd, I have looked back on my life & everything that has changed (my goals, my maturity level, my growth, my career goals, my morals, my circle of friends, etc) some of the changes haven’t been big, but gradual over the course of the years and other changes, I made right away because it was “time”; time to develop myself and strive for new goals for myself. Goals that would challenge me and that could be accomplished by the time I reach 27 of next year. 

To begin with, I believe the big change in my life since turning 26 is my maturity level and level of understanding myself, this doesn’t mean that I won’t have fun at 26 or will live life “seriously” every given day; it means I have new priorities and obligations that mean more to me this year to have accomplished than it did the previous years. It means when I tell myself I want to do something — I will do it, because I am getting older and time is of the essence; and it means I am going to focus on my prospering my life a whole lot more. The fun will be there; the living life to the fullest won’t disappear, but the journey will be more focused and more dedicated than before. The “understanding myself” part is the time I have taken to clear my mind of the past mistakes and opening my mind to what it means to be happy within myself, finding ways to conquer my bad days, humbling myself in order to create a better circle of people who surround me, taking time to “treat” myself, putting myself first, getting to know my flaws & learning to better myself in all areas of my life one step at a time. All of these things about understanding who I am, is going to take time & won’t come fast but it shows I have progressed when I can see changes in myself that make me happy. 

 

My career goals, have pretty much stayed the same but with a addition of things that will help fulfill my life & add more fun to my goals — keep me on my feet but not overwhelm me with stress. Of course these goals will also take some learning on my part and some networking and possibly even more sacrifices — in the beginning, I wasn’t prepared for this, but now I feel I am more prepared because I see what I do on a daily basis and realize I have to have balance in my life to achieve my success — I have to work harder with more effort but not work harder and stressed. That’s a huge change I am making for myself, learning to find ways to cope with overwhelming amounts of stress (stress won’t disappear, because I know it happens) but instead of shutting down; I want to work through it and find my “coping ways” so that I can live a more positive lifestyle. My career choices will be stressful in the beginning because it will be a whirlwind of emotions and dedication — but in the end, I want it to be fun and take my breathe away every time.

 

Friendships & family members. I have decided that I won’t chase after people in order to keep them close. I will make better efforts to keep in contact with close friends and mend relationships that might need mending and I will eliminate any negativity that keeps me from thriving. I will be happy for those who succeed in life and hope that when I progress, they will be happy for me. I will stay humbled, no matter how far I come, because I won’t forget where I started and who helped me to get there when I needed the boost of motivation — that’s really important, staying humble. I am going to make new friendships but be picky in choosing my friends, I will not allow family to keep me from being who I want to be in this world because it might not fit their dream. I have decided that if you want to be in my life for the long haul, then I won’t have to ask, because I will know 🙂 My friends and family I love dearly and always will, but with love doesn’t mean I have to stop going for what I want for myself, it means they should be my biggest fans and always support me through and through and if I should fall, they will be the people who I can cry on & the same people who tell me to get back up and keep going. 

 

My physical well-being. I am transforming my body to new heights, I am becoming stronger and more willing to push myself past limits that before I was too scared to try. My physique is showing changes — some I enjoy and some I do not, but with my continued fight to accept myself, I will keep training and continue to make this a trial and error situation until I find the right balance with my body and diet. I will also take more care of my skin, my hair, my outer appearance because I want to feel good and look good. 

 

Mentality — My mental state will need work, because I have anxiety and mild forms of depression at times, but I have come a long way in handling these two things and also, have found new forms of better managing them without having to take medication (I refuse to take medication, never have) so I want to keep my mental state in check and make sure that on my off days, I really take the proper “me” time. I have also decided after talking to a friend to start up writing in a journal (keeping a diary of everything each day); I used to do this but stopped last year during my break up with an ex, but I enjoyed doing it, so want to give it a go again. My body dysphoria (lack of seeing myself the way others view my body) is ongoing battle as well but I am learning to look at myself and not nit pick everything. It won’t go away, but it does have it moments where it isn’t as bad. Thankfully having an encouraging circle helps soften my blows to myself. 

 

Goals — life goals will be ever changing because I have many of them and some that I want to do before 27 and others I want to do before dying. I plan on writing them all down and checking them off. Some of the goals will be with friends and others will be done on my own but either way, I want to stay motivated and having goals will help with that, but I won’t allow myself to become upset if I shouldn’t make them in a deadline because shit happens. 

 

Financially stable. I have reached a point in my life where finances are becoming more and more important; I can’t rely on money falling from the sky, so I have to work to keep myself responsible for my lifestyle choices. While being rich would be nice, I aim to be more comfortable and to live a less lavish lifestyle and more minimal way of spending money. I will spend money on travels, food, shelter and for memories that I can keep, I will buy clothes when necessary and new shoes when needed, and will continue to spend money on loved ones on special occasions.  I won’t allow myself to go broke in order to keep up with the “Jones”, and I won’t allow myself to feel obligated to buy things for a few compliments. Taking care of myself, that will be important, making sure I can pay on credit cards, being sure I can afford groceries and living circumstances, being sure that I can afford having a social life with friends, being sure I can afford my needs — that is important to me. There was a time when affording materialistic things in order to “fit in” mattered to me, but after growing up and realizing most people don’t give a shit and realizing that I have no business trying to impress someone who is superficial in the first place — I am going to spend my money more responsibly so that in the end, I have savings, I have emergency funds and have a better grip on my finances. I began this process by cutting up all my credit cards. 

 

Dating — If I am being honest, I am single and currently not in any rush to jump into a new relationship. I am  over my ex, but not yet ready to share my life with someone because I have things I want to do on my own for the time being BUT I am open to dating and meeting people. I even started talking to someone but was upfront on my intentions. We both agreed if we end up together — awesome but if not, then we are totally okay with having a fantastic friendship — right now I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine, we have some great conversations and share many personal things with one another. I find that this time around, I know what I look for in a potential partner and have also opened my mind to other things about people that I was blinded to in the beginning because of my superficial thoughts. Wherever this road takes me, I don’t know, but for now I am enjoying myself and this is important because I want to be happy alone before adding someone to my life. 


Athlete — being an athlete is my job and hobby, it’s my thrill and stress, my fun and competition. I love it, and my continued goals of competing and influencing others to be their best self in whatever they do is ongoing. I have been sponsored by companies, have been lifting since may 2016 and will be competing in powerlifting and will then broaden my horizon in other fitness industry sports so that I am well rounded and can offer more help when training my clients and growing my business. 

In becoming an athlete and growing my social media platforms, I have found where I need work when it comes to my own lifts and where I want to grow mentally and physically. This is part of who I am and who I choose to be, I don’t need fame to make me relevant within the industry, having made my own path and working towards growing my brand — I hope my athletic ability will motivate others to be reckless, kick ass and smile every chance they get when they want to better themselves in their sports. I want my brand to be about confidence, humbled experiences and thriving from positive people. xo 



Of course there are many other aspects to my life that I feel are important == but to keep this post short and sweet, those aspects I won’t mention at this time. I believe where my life is now, is not where I want it to be next year, I want it to be bigger, better and have more achievements. I know today is Monday, and what better way to spend it than to start this new journey at 26 now. I have a book I want to write, actually two books I want to write, so that will be a whole other addition to my goals that I want to accomplish. 26 never felt so inspiring, but I am thrilled to get this path started! 

 

Thanks for reading, hopefully all of you enjoyed this read. Feel free to leave comments, share and follow my blog. 

 

Shay-lon 

 
 

Birthday Weekend Recap

I finally turned the big 26 on Thursday (3-22-18) and wanted to share how fun the experience was this year to be around different people and share moments/memories. I don’t typically have the chance to take a  bunch of pictures when I am celebrating, but I love writing about it because this is my way of keeping them alive. 

 

Thursday was the start of my birthday and it was a huge surprise to have my mom come to the gym with a cake to wish me a happy birthday. I also, got to spend it with a few gym friends during a workout. I also went out of town to meet up with a friend and she bought me dinner for my bday 🙂

 

Friday- I worked all day, but a friend came down to spend the weekend with me from out of town, that was wonderful. 

 

Saturday- I had a dinner get together at Texas Roadhouse with friends and family members, the food was good and we shared some fun conversation. After dinner, my friend and I got invited to go out of town and to some local bars — we drove a hour away to her friend’s house and then made some stops to pick others up and headed to some bars. I didn’t get drunk by any means, but that was fine by me, I danced and had some shots and just enjoyed what life had to offer me. We got home around 2 in the morning and I had to work the next morning, so we fell right to sleep. 

 

Sunday- I woke up in pain and it sucked, I had to call off work for the first time since working for the company for 5 years in April (this April), it wasn’t planned this way, but thankfully my job understood my health condition and allowed me the day off. I slept all day pretty much, but when I woke up I tried to have something to eat and played some board games with my friend for a while & then shared some conversation and they left later that night. 

 

Overall my birthday weekend was everything I could imagine at turning 26, and I am happy I was so involved with people — I want to do a special thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday on all my social media platforms, I definitely feel blessed! 

 

-Shay-lon

Good news with a cherry on top

If you are on my Facebook, you probably already know the good news… 

 

But many of you are not, so I have some positive news to share with my fellow readers .. 

 

Today was an overall good day, after my workout this morning, I had to train a client and then I had to work the front counter til 8pm at the gym but many things happened today that made me smile and many things have happened since today, that have enlightened my life since working at the gym and also since meeting new people and making new friendships, so I will share what I shared on FB with all of you. 

 
 
  1. Trained my client this afternoon and just love her as a person, she just has a wonderful heart and does so well 😀
  2. I had someone from the gym tonight bring me tamales, the sweetest and both of her sons are just so awesome.. the one hugged me and I always feel like family to them. I so appreciate it ❤
  3. I might have some new clients to train, possibly a couple… and that’s exciting because they seem eager and I hope if anything, I hope can raise their self esteem and give them something to look forward to when they arrive in the gym regardless if I’m their trainer or not… I always aim to build people up.. because I want people to feel like they belong and feel good about themselves because I know the feeling of low self esteem and wanting to give up and I hope everyone I train and help I make them feel empowered and cared about. I always tell people I believe in them, because if nobody else does, I want them to know I do! 
  4. I’ve made some great friendships and people who have been amazing toward me in and out of the gym, just your hello and a high five puts a smile on my face and I love you guys. I appreciate those who have always encouraged me in my lifting and encouraged me to be my best self, thank you
  5. the awesome instructor and a few ladies invited me out in the next few weeks for my birthday and I just feel like it definitely means something, I appreciate them
  6. I tell ya, this dentist who comes into my gym, he is so funny and just down to earth and humble. His conversations have always been a learning experience and something to look forward to, I love it.
  7. I talk too much and never get out of the gym on time, lol

I also want to thank all of you who take the time to follow, read and share my blog among your peers, whom have taken the time to leave comments and share conversations with me on social media. I have been blogging for a little over 2 years now and it feels like a lifetime because I have met some wonderful and skillful bloggers — people who have transformed since day one of following them and have seen me transform since day one of following me. To watch your growth as writers has been an absolute honor and I look forward to many more years of watching and being apart of your experience. Blogging has become second nature to me, a second full time hobby and job, I take it seriously and share my life (good and bad) with all of you because I want to be real and want to show my own growth, my own stumbles and my own get up moments. As bloggers, it gets easy getting caught up in the stats and wanting to have the most viewers and followers, etc. & that stuff is all fine and dandy, but for me, it means more when I develop relationships/bonds with people who read my content. I have fallen behind on post, have made changes to the blog, and have fallen short on quality of post at times, but it never ceases to amaze me how many of you continue to be there no matter. I appreciate all of you and wish all of you the best with your continued writing and may we continue to build friendships and share laughs with one another for the next many years ahead of us ❤ 

—– Shay- lon