365 Days of Self Discovery: Your relationships

7.28.19

Day 69

Who are you not afraid to be yourself with?

  • Typically, I prefer to be myself around anyone and everyone; I find that to be more healthy and more real. At times it takes me having to get to know someone and their boundaries, and what they are comfortable with before exposing all myself to someone (metaphorically speaking) — and I have learned to adapt to my environment and circumstances; which doesn’t mean I am hiding who I am but I am choosing to withhold certain aspects of myself until I feel comfortable otherwise. Sometimes we tend to get too pushy and expect everyone to accept our behaviors and lifestyles equally and get offended by anyone who doesn’t agree — while I always hope people enjoy my company, I don’t expect everyone to like me, so I will always be myself but I won’t shove myself down someones throat to make a point either. As you grow, you learn to choose your battles and who to give two craps about and who not to. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

4.26.19

Day 16

What do you fear most about the future?

  • I fear how far technology will evolve, the increase of crime and criminal matters, not knowing what will come of my future or where I’ll be in life. 

Do you have any fears of the future or what will come of it?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

4.02.19

Day 26

What has been the most challenging part of your life to date?

  • Building/molding myself into someone I’m comfortable with, without fear of what others may think or say. Being the person I want to be and not what others expect of me — basically choosing to live happy instead of worried all the time of how the world may perceive me. 

Any part of your life been challenging to date? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.16.19

Day 9

Where were you, 10 years, 5 years, and 1 year ago?

  • So this is a good question that requires long answers. I will try to keep them semi short for the same of having to read everything but what I wrote down on paper was much longer due to me really getting my thoughts out. 10 years ago, I was 16 years of age, 11th grade, living in Texas for the 2nd year. I had a few friends at this time, and I wasn’t playing basketball anymore due to a certain circumstance that got me kicked off the team the previous year (which I thought was highly unacceptable), but I was still running track and trying to figure my own life out. I wasn’t necessarily happy living in Texas but enjoyed visiting my Uncle and grandfather who lived a ways away in Texas. I wasn’t dating anyone, but I had a few crushes here and there. I was still uncomfortable with my sexuality — because I didn’t quite understand myself but didn’t really think much about it and didn’t reach out to anyone for understanding (I dealt with things alone) I flirted with guys plenty and got a lot of attention from dudes from school who would say vulgar or anticipate that I would have some sort of sexual experience with them (which I did not) the furthest thing I did was texting inappropriately but I had little knowledge on the subject, I was just searching for something & didn’t know what it was. I had good grades in school at this time and I was probably getting the news we would be leaving before I started my senior year to a new state. 
  • 5 years ago, I was 21 years old, happy as hell that I was finally able to drink alcohol legally (although I was drinking it before this) and I was not close to my mom, we would argue and bicker often, I wasn’t close to my younger brother at all, we just didn’t see eye to eye. I was still in denial about my sexuality to other people but I was already out to my mom at age 18 about being bisexual at the time, but wasn’t out about it to certain family members and friends. I was having an internal battle with myself, I don’t think I was in a serious relationship with anyone but I was dating around somewhat & meeting people offline. I had a few experiences here and there with men my age and older but nothing that I want to get into depth about. I was probably out of college (taking a break) but working two jobs at the time and living with a roommate. I didnt have my life together and wasn’t sure where I would end up.
  • 1 year ago, I was 25 years old, my relationship with my mom was shaking but better and my younger brother and me were getting along better as well. I was out in totally by this age and I don’t think I identified as bisexual anymore, so I think I mainly stuck with dating women at this point. Not in a serious relationship, but had pretty much dated around for a while. I was working at the Anytime Fitness gym and working with a company that helped the mentally and physically handicapped. I had already graduated college years prior to this and decided on being a personal trainer as a career choice. I was eager about the future but still dealing with the fact me and my ex had broken up the year previous to this. 
I like to think my life has been a rollercoaster of weird stuff and with all kinds of mistakes and lessons to have been learned from them. I might not still have my life together but I at least know what I want out of life for the most part now compared to then. My relationships with my family now aren’t as bad (although we have our days) but I am busy with two jobs and working on myself more than not, and I want so much for myself, I have put myself first these days and hopefully it pays off. 
 
If you are feeling up to it, share where you were 10 years, 5 years and 1 year ago. If not all three, choose one and share. I know it can be quite the question but the reflection is nice to look back on. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.06.19

Day 66

What is your biggest fear? Why do you think you are afraid?

  • My biggest fear(s) are being alone for the rest of my life (dying alone), dying in a traumatic way (car accident, murder, etc). never amounting to something and being at a constant standstill in my life (no investment in buying a house/condo, living paycheck to paycheck, having to work two jobs, not being able to afford traveling, no sense of self growth or accomplishment. 
I assume most people have a fear of something, no matter how big or small. What are your biggest fears — and why? 

My BLOGVERSARY! *2018

Another Year & I am Still Here.

 

What can I say, still here another year writing and sharing pieces of me that hopefully one day either develop into a story or starts a business where people can’t wait to read what I have to say because it will be something people will want to hear daily. Blogging is second nature to everything else I know, I didn’t start blogging with any idea of how far I could possibly go, or how far I would come — it was just my way to get my health/fitness business started, a way to ignite the important of fitness/health & a host to all my information. For awhile I started going through a couple of my old pieces of writing where the passion was fire and the likes were little to none, and started to read each month & seen the increase of readers, comments, likes, and the amount of post I would do within a day just to make sure I was doing “enough” — by your standards and mine. I started blogging with so little information and no guide, naturally I was having to do this by researching and asking other blogger’s questions (didn’t always help) but there were a few who were helpful and lead me in the right direction. By the time I stepped into my first post, I wrote something and hoped for the best outcome. Took a long time for the best outcome to happen, but it did and it has been growing since then, not as fast but steady and still maintaining some of the same faces who followed me in the beginning are still following me now, it’s wonderful! Blogging has been a magical experience with its good and bad days, and many days I thought about taking long breaks and giving up due to the pressure of my stats not doing so well, but then I seen the way it opened up other outlets (affiliates, marketing, guest post, friendships, mentors, writing for companies/editors, etc) it was worth staying to learn and grow more, it was worth seeing my stats at an all time low in order to prove that it could once more be great, once more be worthy of a following & it was worth watching myself develop as a writer and person through blogging. 

You see blogging wasn’t just for entertainment and for business reasons, it was for personal reasons, I didn’t think I could find an outlet that allowed me to speak to people in the form of writing without fear of what others may think — I don’t speak about my feelings as well as others, and so when I started writing, everything that was on my mind; I allowed it to flow onto the screen and I didn’t look back after hitting “publish” — it was my way of opening up to myself just as this 365 days of self discovery has been. If you take the time to look back on my writing, you will see where the topics have changed, the amount of post a day have changed and my voice within my pieces have stayed the same — because my voice is what captured people, it was the difference between me and the next person writing about the same topic (as yours is unique as well). The foundation of my writing comes from the wonderful readers/writers whom I follow and have continued to be supportive of me as well, they are what sparked these changes in my writing, what helped me to keep going many times, and have been the reason for many of my accomplishments at one point. I owe many thanks to many bloggers who have been more than just a daily reader, but more of a companion & an overseas friend. I couldn’t possibly list them all, because this post would never have an ending but special thanks to:

 

Jim, Ty, PooGja, James, Brad, Bella  — these six have always been wonderful to have, no matter where I land, & no matter how much I slack, they still seem to be around when I come back. Thank you! I appreciate you & I appreciate anyone else whom I did not name, don’t feel left out, because  I recognize new and old followers alike — and I cherish every moment it has created for me and memory I can keep. 

#CheersToManyMoreYears #StillIRise #Shay-lonMoss

365 days of self discovery: Day 49

10.21.18

What is your reaction when you don’t get what you want?

  • Quite a funny question, due to the fact, I like to assume we have all somewhat had this happen & maybe we weren’t happy about it, but I will assume none of through a tantrum? or did we? lol. Well, growing up in my household, my mom always made sure me and my brother had what we need and most of our wants/if not all; so I never knew what it was like to go without something — and when there would be that ONE time where I really wanted something because someone else had it, and my mom failed to get it for me, I just assumed it was because we couldn’t afford it at the time and would try my hardest to not allow it to bother me (but we know people start to ask questions and so sometimes my classmates or teammates would ask me why I don’t have it, or when I would get it) and I would just make up some kind of lie or rather just pretend I didn’t give a shit about it to want it. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn’t & to be honest, I only remember one time of that happening & my coach would then chime in and try to help pay for it (it was a team hoodie) and my mom just didn’t have the funds right away to get it for me, not to mention it wasn’t her only priority and my coach would then ask me about it and after finding out my mom’s reason for me not having it, I don’t remember if my coach helped to afford it or if my mom just ended up paying for it later on.. either way, that probably has been the only time. Regardless, as I got older, I was then taught in order to get something I wanted, I needed to earn it with either getting a job and making money or doing something around the house that was well worthy the prize. At first it was annoying (to be fair, I didn’t get my first job until I was 18) and it wasn’t like my chores were all that hard, I was just being a lazy teen. I was really living a life of luxury, my mom did our laundry and folded our clothes, etc, hell I didn’t have to do my first batch of laundry until I was like 21 or 22  I think? lol so I can’t really say my life was hard, it wasn’t. Anyways, after obtaining my first job, and having paid for something for the first time with my own money, it felt really good to say I could afford something I wanted and then on, I kind of got used to it UNTIL I quit my job by not showing up for work & my mom didn’t find out til like later on and yeah, so I have to say, I also didn’t particularly want to work but somewhere down the line I ended up getting another job and keeping it much longer. Now that I much older than I was, and don’t rely on my mom for finances; I have had to endure things that humbled me to the point where I had to make certain sacrifices in order to obtain something I wanted, and with those experiences came a better attitude and means of handling things when I don’t get what I want. Sometimes I will still get frustrated or upset depending on the situation but many times, I shrug it off and move on.