365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

1.14.19

Day 15

What was the happiest moment of your life?

  • I don’t think I have a happiest moment of my life yet, I mean I have had happy moments, but to say they are the happiest moments, I don’t know. I don’t feel that I have lived long enough and I haven’t really experienced everything that is on my goal list of things I want to do. Not every happy moment has been my happiest moments, some of my achievements aren’t even a happiest moment for me, maybe I am reading into this further than I should but I don’t feel as though I have had my happiest moment yet — but I have had plenty of happy moments. 
Have you had your happiest moment, if so, what is it? If not, why not?
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

1.08.19

Day 9


What cheers you up when you are down?

  • Listening to music
  • long drives 
  • affection (sometimes) just to know someone else cares
  • being left in my room with my thoughts in darkness and silence – something about just getting lost & filling my mind with positive thoughts is the goal 

Is there something you can think of that cheers you up? list them. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

1.04.19

Day 5

What makes you feel alive?

  • I am not all the way sure, but some of the things that help are having it be nice weather outside, and being able to enjoy moments/memories that bring me happiness. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings and Emotions

1.01.18

Day Two

What would make you happy right now?

  • Oh goodness where should I begin? First off, I would be happy if the drama at my second job would cease to exist (backstabbing, rumors, etc) would just end.. it’s ridiculous and childish and not to mention the bullying that is happening and unnecessary drama that just recycles itself. Somehow I have become a target and it has become a mentally fatiguing situation that now managers are having to get involved in when it could have been grown adults handling their problems and sorting things out. #eyeroll I guess some people prefer the everyday conflict. Secondly, I would be happy if I found a reasonably priced photographer who would help take pictures to build my business and presence online & lastly if I didn’t have to work two jobs or work at all (being a personal trainer isnt work to me, its fun and a hobby along with my profession) but my other job is a job and I’d be happy if it didn’t exist in my world so I could focus on things I want to do. Oh, and I would be happy if I didn’t have any debt & had something sweet to comfort my mind while I lay in bed awaiting to leave for work. 

What would make you happy right now? 

The list can be as short or as long as you want it to be, maybe it isn’t something in a materialistic sense, maybe it benefits someone else as well, share it! 

Goodbye 2018 — Walking Down Memory Lane

I’ll Never Forget…

  1. The Friends I made — Thank you for coming into my life & supporting my goals, dreams and for being a friend to me during good and bad times — Ya’ll are the real MVPs. 
  2. The family get together’s — The memories I shared with all of my family that were part of my 2018, I love you guys & so happy and blessed that you guys made it through another year with me. 
  3. The job changes — I had to do what I needed to do to make things happen and I learned when you aren’t happy doing something, you have the power to change it, just have to look for other opportunities that will help build you & I also learned to not always jump at every opportunity because sometimes things need to be thought out before hopping on board — even if it means missing out. There will be other doors that will open, be patient.
  4. Having been hacked on social media — Thanks for hacking me hackers, ya’ll made it so I could start from scratch and challenged me mentally because after losing all my following, my pictures, my memories, etc, I didn’t think I would ever give it a go again because it just seemed to difficult of a task BUT GUESS WHAT? I did it! I started over and while I am no where near where I was to begin with, I am going to keep going after it. It  feels somewhat good to have to refresh and refocus my attention on building my business and empire once more — just don’t hack me again because I was extremely traumatized the first time, LOL
  5. Break ups & make ups — I am still single and while I wasn’t necessarily ready to have another long term relationship this year due to being stuck on an ex from 2017, I decided to do some dating around & learned that by lowering my standards, I am only hurting myself and the other person because I know what I need in a partner and as long as it is realistic, I should keep to it. I almost got myself in a relationship I didn’t want to be in due to me feeling bad after they poured out their liking for me. I lost their friendship but it was worth it if it means I don’t have to feel pressure to start a committed relationship with this person.I just have to learn to be patient, I am still young, there is no rush for love and as long as I have good friends, good family surrounding me and a positive outlook on life — I know when the timing is right, the person will walk in. 
  6. Seeing my ex from 2017 at a festival for the first time since our break up & contacting her on Thanksgiving —Nothing prepared me for this moment and I don’t think I could have prepared for it even if I had knew ahead of time she would be there. That was hard situation for me, because we don’t have a friendship and seeing her there with one of her exes was shocking but at least I knew she for sure moved on. When I contacted her on Thanksgiving aka her birthday, it was only because it was on my heart to apologize to her — and she answered and was very pleasant about it .. it made me smile a little to know she had my number still and appreciated the apology. I thought maybe I would get an apology as well, but couldn’t be as lucky LOL anyways, maybe I can finally move on mentally from that relationship and allow myself to be free of the pain now. I guess I got the most closure  I will get from it.
  7. Starting my own business & website — Neither is perfect and both will need work but hey, I am glad I did it, that’s the first step before anything else, hopefully 2019 allows for more big things for my business/website as a personal trainer.
  8. New places I visited— Nothing crazy like years prior but a few new places & I love travelling so I want to do it more often each year; starting in 2019! 
  9. Hitting a PR in my conventional deadlift at 305 lbs –– Huge deal to me, who knew I would hit 300 this year, so hopefully 400 will be the next big thing for 2019
  10. I read some good books —  I took some time to get a library card from our town library and then made time for reading & got to read some good books from Stephen King, I read the “Broke Milenninial” book — it was good too, I read some relationship building books & those were helpful and some of my inspiration for doing the 365 day self discovery post
  11. Paid off a credit card — yay! I was so happy when I paid off a credit card and my FICO score increased! 
  12. Paid off my car – Another big Hooray for me! I now own it & it saves me money and feels good, I am finally adulting — small bit.
  13. My points from tickets have fallen off  & no car accidents — I feel like this is awesome because at one point I had 6 points (half way til I was suspended) from getting speeding tickets. lol but now I drive much better and do little speeding. & having no accidents is always a good thing! 
  14. New songs I have fallen love with — added to my spotify playlist — I loved some of the new music I have heard this year, added many of them on my spotify account (I am huge into music)
  15. Went to my FIRST Metal band/Scream O concert – Who knew I would like this type of music, but I learned that some of it is actually really good when I understand what they are saying or can relate to the rage
  16. I have a savings account again — and have money in it, good amount of money in it and I am now more accountable with adding money to it weekly or biweekly 🙂 it feels good! 
  17. I finished watching all of the Game of thrones series: && I am excited for the new season to start in April! I love the show! 
  18. I went to the movie theater alone — It was on my bucket list of things I wanted to do, and I did it! was excited because it wasn’t as bad as thought it would have been — it was fine 😀 I survived. 
  19. Still blog — Hey! I am still on wordpress and blogging, another year to be thankful for keeping at it and loving it. 
  20. The many things I overcame to be here right now.. I’ll never forget those obstacles 
  21. Went to Cedar point for the first time since like middle school & took my youngest brother for the first time — He loved it, and I enjoyed it. I am a wimp but always get on rollercoasters anyways and he enjoyed himself on the coasters and was just as scared as me but was very brave! ❤ 
Happy New Year’s 

My BLOGVERSARY! *2018

Another Year & I am Still Here.

 

What can I say, still here another year writing and sharing pieces of me that hopefully one day either develop into a story or starts a business where people can’t wait to read what I have to say because it will be something people will want to hear daily. Blogging is second nature to everything else I know, I didn’t start blogging with any idea of how far I could possibly go, or how far I would come — it was just my way to get my health/fitness business started, a way to ignite the important of fitness/health & a host to all my information. For awhile I started going through a couple of my old pieces of writing where the passion was fire and the likes were little to none, and started to read each month & seen the increase of readers, comments, likes, and the amount of post I would do within a day just to make sure I was doing “enough” — by your standards and mine. I started blogging with so little information and no guide, naturally I was having to do this by researching and asking other blogger’s questions (didn’t always help) but there were a few who were helpful and lead me in the right direction. By the time I stepped into my first post, I wrote something and hoped for the best outcome. Took a long time for the best outcome to happen, but it did and it has been growing since then, not as fast but steady and still maintaining some of the same faces who followed me in the beginning are still following me now, it’s wonderful! Blogging has been a magical experience with its good and bad days, and many days I thought about taking long breaks and giving up due to the pressure of my stats not doing so well, but then I seen the way it opened up other outlets (affiliates, marketing, guest post, friendships, mentors, writing for companies/editors, etc) it was worth staying to learn and grow more, it was worth seeing my stats at an all time low in order to prove that it could once more be great, once more be worthy of a following & it was worth watching myself develop as a writer and person through blogging. 

You see blogging wasn’t just for entertainment and for business reasons, it was for personal reasons, I didn’t think I could find an outlet that allowed me to speak to people in the form of writing without fear of what others may think — I don’t speak about my feelings as well as others, and so when I started writing, everything that was on my mind; I allowed it to flow onto the screen and I didn’t look back after hitting “publish” — it was my way of opening up to myself just as this 365 days of self discovery has been. If you take the time to look back on my writing, you will see where the topics have changed, the amount of post a day have changed and my voice within my pieces have stayed the same — because my voice is what captured people, it was the difference between me and the next person writing about the same topic (as yours is unique as well). The foundation of my writing comes from the wonderful readers/writers whom I follow and have continued to be supportive of me as well, they are what sparked these changes in my writing, what helped me to keep going many times, and have been the reason for many of my accomplishments at one point. I owe many thanks to many bloggers who have been more than just a daily reader, but more of a companion & an overseas friend. I couldn’t possibly list them all, because this post would never have an ending but special thanks to:

 

Jim, Ty, PooGja, James, Brad, Bella  — these six have always been wonderful to have, no matter where I land, & no matter how much I slack, they still seem to be around when I come back. Thank you! I appreciate you & I appreciate anyone else whom I did not name, don’t feel left out, because  I recognize new and old followers alike — and I cherish every moment it has created for me and memory I can keep. 

#CheersToManyMoreYears #StillIRise #Shay-lonMoss

When Drama comes starts knocking, I leave the door closed

Good drama, is a poor excuse to have drama

Ya know what I have come to realize, that some people need drama to thrive on friendships, need drama to feel a purpose and rely on drama to gain some of kind insight on other people’s lives — me on the other hand, I don’t need it nor want it and I delete it as soon as it forms. 

Having been much younger once, I knew what drama could produce at an early age, and had my share of people’s bullshit and wanting to be apart of heavy gossip in hopes it would give me kudo points for being on the same side as others. Let’s face it, in grade school and some of high school, drama formed so often that when you think you dodged a bullet, it just meant another person had room to attempt the same scheme. I’d like to say with age came wisdom and learning from former mistakes and choosing to focus on more important things rather than other people’s business BUT, can’t say it meant drama would cease to appear in my life, nope, drama was still around and for good reason, because without it, meant I had little to no friends. Yet, you start to realize drama creates chaos and chaos invites itself in your life when you are most vulnerable or weak minded. In order to rid of chaos, you learn you have to make sacrifices that aren’t easy but will payoff (doesn’t seem that way at first) but in time it does payoff. 

For me, in order to live a drama free lifestyle, I had to rid the people I surrounded myself with that were bad blood and carried negative vibes — wasn’t easy until I started to see how it hindered my growth financially, mentally, educationally, and physically. Here I am YEARS later, without an ounce of drama to my name & the drama that might have tried to seep into my life, I ignored it or shut it down, & gave it no attention unless it was something that needed to be talked about in order to move on from. Otherwise, when drama comes knocking, I leave the door closed. Now drama normally is equated with gossip and I don’t particularly love hearing gossip, especially since I have learned and matured enough to make up my own opinions of other people once I get to know them vs believing everything someone else tells me (I always “consider my sources”) which means whatever someone tells me about another person, I take with a grain of salt until it has been proven / else I make my own judgement based on how the person treats me personally & if I am being honest, what someone does in their free time isn’t my business unless it effects me or somebody I care/love. Case closed.

Another form of drama is in relationships & I suppose those are much harder to shut down, because I assume we love the person we are dating & so this makes things more complicated BUT I found the best way to prevent drama from forming in your relationships is understanding the person’s character before putting yourself in a relationship with the person and really thinking about if the person is compatible with you. Good looks don’t mean the person has a solid character and just because he/she gives to charity doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t gossip.. so this is where being superficial can harm the future of your relationship. I believe it takes time & you and only you know what you need out of a person in order to have a successful relationship and so you need to make good decisions to have good outcomes. Not saying a relationship will be perfect but when the time comes and drama shows up at your front door during your relationship — the goal is for both parties to find a solution together that doesn’t burden the relationship or person/people within it. That’s the goal — easier said than done. 

Third form of drama is when you allow it to change your character in order to keep your popularity or friends. I think this is one of the worst forms because it really has a way of biting you in the ass if you don’t pay mind to it. I had to learn that popularity and having the most votes doesn’t mean anything if I have to change myself in order to be accepted among the majority. Nobody likes being an outcast/different, but sometimes being the unique one makes for a better character and a longevity of true friendships. Doesn’t mean you will win an Oscar , but it could mean you earn a good reputation. 

You learn that drama will happen, and continue to happen and that some forms of drama can be ignored and other forms need to be dealt with in order to make it disappear or prevent it from causing further chaos. I have had people say there is good drama, but good drama isn’t drama – it is reward, inspiration, blessings, and positive vibes & it doesn’t create chaos, but creates wisdom, happiness, triumphs, and builds good character. The good drama people speak of is: congrats, birthdays, holiday greetings marriage/newly weds , pregnancy, anniversaries, good health, promotions, compliments, good counsel, good deeds, and love. These are forms of drama that help uplift, motivate and give people a reason to smile — 

“Good drama doesn’t exist, it is purely a person with good intentions looking to give someone a reason to be happy” – Shay-lon Moss