365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.30.19

Day 23

Did you ever experience bullying? How did you deal with this?

  • Yes, I experienced bullying on multiple occasions throughout my life. I was bullied in elementary school,  two middle schools and two high schools. It was tough, because I was taught to stick up for myself and not allow people to do harm to me, thankfully, my bullying was all verbal but nonetheless, I never did stick up for myself. Normally, I would ignore it and say nothing, cry when I got home or had alone time, I would allow it to happen and not say anything to adults about it including my own family members. I pretty much did nothing. When I was being bullied by my own family sometimes, I did pretty much the same thing or I would lash out and cry, get mad and say really mean things back, remove myself from the room, etc. 
Have you ever been a victim of bullying? Did you do anything about it, or tell anyone? 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.29.19

Day 22

Did you find it easy to get along with your peers when you were growing up?

  • I’d say it was a mix of yes and no, because of me being an athlete all my life, I could make friends quite easily but when due to my socially awkward personality and struggling between wanting to fit in with the “cool” kids and being myself; sometimes it was harder to get along with peers. I was always the class clown growing up, I could make people laugh at my own expense but after awhile I then learned the difference between someone laughing with me and someone laughing at me & it truly opened my eyes to how some people perceived me. 
Would you say you got along with your peers growing up, or were you an outcast? 

365 Days of self Discovery: Your Past

3.28.19

Day 21

Did you enjoy school? What life lessons did you learn from your there?

  • I did enjoy school, in fact, I hated to miss school due to illness and couldn’t stand being late for school. Some of the life lessons I learned from attending school were to prepare me for college, or my future. Some other lessons came from experiences; losing friends, dating, time management skills, etc. 
How many of you enjoyed going to school? Was there a period of time you didn’t like attending school or when you started to enjoy it but didn’t previously? Share the lessons you took with you going forward in life. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.16.19

Day 9

Where were you, 10 years, 5 years, and 1 year ago?

  • So this is a good question that requires long answers. I will try to keep them semi short for the same of having to read everything but what I wrote down on paper was much longer due to me really getting my thoughts out. 10 years ago, I was 16 years of age, 11th grade, living in Texas for the 2nd year. I had a few friends at this time, and I wasn’t playing basketball anymore due to a certain circumstance that got me kicked off the team the previous year (which I thought was highly unacceptable), but I was still running track and trying to figure my own life out. I wasn’t necessarily happy living in Texas but enjoyed visiting my Uncle and grandfather who lived a ways away in Texas. I wasn’t dating anyone, but I had a few crushes here and there. I was still uncomfortable with my sexuality — because I didn’t quite understand myself but didn’t really think much about it and didn’t reach out to anyone for understanding (I dealt with things alone) I flirted with guys plenty and got a lot of attention from dudes from school who would say vulgar or anticipate that I would have some sort of sexual experience with them (which I did not) the furthest thing I did was texting inappropriately but I had little knowledge on the subject, I was just searching for something & didn’t know what it was. I had good grades in school at this time and I was probably getting the news we would be leaving before I started my senior year to a new state. 
  • 5 years ago, I was 21 years old, happy as hell that I was finally able to drink alcohol legally (although I was drinking it before this) and I was not close to my mom, we would argue and bicker often, I wasn’t close to my younger brother at all, we just didn’t see eye to eye. I was still in denial about my sexuality to other people but I was already out to my mom at age 18 about being bisexual at the time, but wasn’t out about it to certain family members and friends. I was having an internal battle with myself, I don’t think I was in a serious relationship with anyone but I was dating around somewhat & meeting people offline. I had a few experiences here and there with men my age and older but nothing that I want to get into depth about. I was probably out of college (taking a break) but working two jobs at the time and living with a roommate. I didnt have my life together and wasn’t sure where I would end up.
  • 1 year ago, I was 25 years old, my relationship with my mom was shaking but better and my younger brother and me were getting along better as well. I was out in totally by this age and I don’t think I identified as bisexual anymore, so I think I mainly stuck with dating women at this point. Not in a serious relationship, but had pretty much dated around for a while. I was working at the Anytime Fitness gym and working with a company that helped the mentally and physically handicapped. I had already graduated college years prior to this and decided on being a personal trainer as a career choice. I was eager about the future but still dealing with the fact me and my ex had broken up the year previous to this. 
I like to think my life has been a rollercoaster of weird stuff and with all kinds of mistakes and lessons to have been learned from them. I might not still have my life together but I at least know what I want out of life for the most part now compared to then. My relationships with my family now aren’t as bad (although we have our days) but I am busy with two jobs and working on myself more than not, and I want so much for myself, I have put myself first these days and hopefully it pays off. 
 
If you are feeling up to it, share where you were 10 years, 5 years and 1 year ago. If not all three, choose one and share. I know it can be quite the question but the reflection is nice to look back on. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 61

11.02.18

Do you find it easy asking for “help”?

  • Growing up, I avoided asking for help; especially in school. Instead of raising my hand in class, I’d usually go home and and try to figure it out; or wait until a teacher or college professor would notice my struggle & reach out to help me. Many times my college professors or high school teachers would recommend that  I seek assistance after class or school with them or with a tutor, but I’d never be one to go. Asking for help just made me feel uncomfortable due to social anxiety and because I wanted to blend in/fit in with everyone else who understood the subject matter. Not to mention, I don’t particularly enjoy the spotlight having to raise my hand in class if I don’t understand something. The ONE time that I reached out for help on my own, was when I was failing math class or on the brink of failing a math class in college & I had to pass it, in order to graduate that same year, so I reached out to a family member who then helped me to pass  — but that literally was down to the wire before I asked. Now, I still don’t particularly like having to ask for help — and try to avoid doing so, but at the same time I know if necessary, I am fully capable of asking for help if I need it. 

I Did a GUEST POST: College & Fitness

https://designandscheme.com/2017/08/08/college-fitness/

Alright everyone, 

for those of you who didn’t know, I was asked to do a guest blog for a friend about college and fitness – preparing high school seniors for college and freshmen college students for what is to come. I share some nifty tips and advice and give you some real world examples of what temptations will lie in the way and share some personal experiences as well. I hope that not only will you support this blog post and share it among your peers, but that you will take the time to check out her blog as a whole because it is also speaks on time management skills. Thank you for your support! leave feedback in the comments!

Fitness Wonder Woman

Shay-lon xo

The “Female Triad” – Have you heard of it?

Female athletes beware… 

 

It is possible you have experienced this as a female athlete or maybe your child is experiencing this OR it could be that you know someone who is experiencing this. Most females have experienced this depending on the sports they played and how serious they took their athletics – many coaches and parents might not see anything wrong with it because it comes with being an athlete having the mindset of being the best, but what happens when being the best is causing health issues and making it harder on you in the long term and short term. 

 

What is the female Triad?

 
  • A syndrome in which eating disorders, amenorrhoea, and decreased bone mineral density are present. Primarily caused by an energy deficiency. 

Now you would assume, how is this considered normal? well it isn’t. Sadly, many people don’t stop to question these things until it is too late or don’t see the signs right away because they don’t pay close enough attention, or possibly because their teenager is avoiding the topic and allowing the guardian to believe all is well when it is NOT. As athletes, you know we have to make sacrifices and some can be harmful and some can be good, but we make these sacrifices because we want to be the best at whatever we do and we don’t want to make the coach or our teammates upset – we have this mindset of win, win, win and any loss is a bad loss. This was my same mindset as well, any loss was a loss I was mad about and the tantrums I would throw and the cussing and the anger and the blaming the players and the constant striving for perfection is all that mattered to me growing up playing sports. It can be tough being an athlete. 

 

We all have our downfalls but this is serious and I want to bring it to your attention in case any of you might be going through it now or know someone who is, so that maybe you can identify it and be more aware and helpful.. if anything, I hope this post teaches you something new.

 

Who is effected?

  • Typically anyone can be effected, but it primarily effects female athletes who participate in sports that emphasize leanness, such as:gymnastics, ballet, diving, figure skating, aerobics, running. Some other classes that include males experiencing this might be: wrestling, rowing, and martial arts. 

Symptoms:

  1. weight loss
  2. absent or irregular periods
  3. fatigue
  4. stress fractures
  5. binge eating 
  6. restrictive dieting
  7. induced vomiting
  8. excessive exercise

Prevention practices:

  1. AVOID emphasis on achieving unrealistically low body weight
  2. avoid out of competition weigh ins
  3. athletes, coaches and parents need to be aware of any warning signs 
  4. rules encouraging excessive weight loss should be discouraged and eliminated. 

Treatment:

  1. The athlete will deny, but medical help is mandatory because it can become serious and eventually cause long term issues if not death.
  2. they should have proper support from coaches, family, friends, teammates
  3. speak with a nutritionist
  4. many times treatment requires some kind of intervention from different specialist and family, friends, etc

Now with this being said, nothing will change if we don’t become the change. We might not be able to save every athlete or change every coach or parent’s mind but we can be aware with both eyes open and speak on this topic when necessary to avoid it happening to yourself, your child or a friend possibly. I am HUGE on body positiveness and preventing females from going down some of the paths I went down knowingly and unknowingly and hopefully helping those who may have questions or concerns dealing with this topic or any of this nature. I am not a medical doctor but I can offer an ear, advice, tips, conversation, etc that might be helpful to an individual. I don’t want men thinking this can’t happen to them, because I know both sexes deal with issues but this specific issue is more prone to female athletes. All I ask is that all of you share this and talk about it with friends and family and social media, make it an issue so that others make it their problem to change how we coach, change our rules that govern these ways of thinking and to hopefully make some type of difference. 

 

Thank you for reading, please feel free to contact me personally, to leave comments, share experiences, follow my blog and social media, and to reblog if you wish as well. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo