What makes for a good gym partner?

Some people are ‘lone wolves’ such as myself, but every now and then we want the encouragement of someone else to keep us pumped, grow a bond & be the ‘bro’ we need in order to hit that next PR (yelling in our ear and rooting for our success)! 

 

But.. 

 

We should be picking about who we choose to be that “bro” and that friend we call on because it does make all the difference. Down below I highlight some tips to look for when searching for a gym partner who benefits you & vice versa. 

 
 
  1. You need to choose someone who has a personality that meshes well with yours
  2. Choose someone who is close to your fitness level — unless you don’t mind playing teacher/coach (some people find that annoying)
  3. Find someone who commits to the gym as much as yourself or more so that you can count of them for the long term. 
  4. If they don’t push you to do better, don’t challenge you to excel then they aren’t a person who will benefit you. 
  5. Find a person whose schedule can work along with yours — or find a compromise you are both willing to do
  6. Choose someone who doesn’t ‘yap’ all day, but knows when to focus on the grind while at the gym — you are there for results not for a social party
  7. Choose a gym partner that keeps you accountable
  8. Choose someone that doesn’t have a huge ego, you don’t want someone that’s there to show off their gains, you want someone who compliments your gains but also confident with themselves without having to be flashing
  9. Choose someone who is open minded- because when choosing a program for yourself or the both of you, you need someone who is willing to give something a go, unless they seek different results, but not someone who talks down about your decisions *but offering advice is fine*
  10. A know it all, doesn’t always know it ALL. Choose someone who doesn’t treat you like a test subject, they might know their bodies but it doesn’t mean they know yours and unless you hire them for training you, don’t allow someone to make you feel stupid or incompetent. There are coaches with experience and degrees that can offer that type of support. If your gym partner is coming off like a ‘know it ALL’ then they are too involved with being right than being a friend & that will get old real fast. 

Thanks for reading, I hope these tips are helpful for when you are in search of a gym partner! please feel free to follow, share, comment and like 😀

 

Be sure to also follow me on social media where you can see videos, photos and tips involving being fit & healthy.

 

Instagram — Instagram

Twitter — Twitter

FB page — FB page

 

For more advice and Tips, click Here & here

 

Shay-lon 

Advertisements

BEGREATGUYS Motivation Monday #6

HAPPY MONDAY!

Be Great!

Today’s motivation isn’t lengthy and doesn’t have a whole story attached to it, instead it’s simple. 

 

“Be Great, in other words, make the most out of your life” – Shay-lon 

BEGREATGUYS #5 — My exam story (Try Again)

I have learned many things, some of which made a difference in my life. One of which, is learning to “try again”, which for some is easy enough but for others like myself, “trying again” is scary and makes us overwhelmed, makes us anxious and gives us stress. Stress we don’t need nor want. I can tell you of many incidences where I wanted to try again but didn’t due to fear and not knowing, due to low self esteem and negative thinking and due to lack of courage. I grew up on “trying” and giving it my best; my mom always told me and my siblings this growing up — and even then it was easier said than done. Almost like now. Where trying something for a second or third time seems like a waste of time, especially when you don’t know how it will end. 

I learned REAL soon, that trying again can be the door that opens opportunity — All it takes is a positive mindset, belief in yourself and capabilities & your “why”  (in other words the reason that you NEED to try again, why is this important to you) because without a why, you lose focus and give up. This almost happened to me within this year. 

Just recently I got certified in Personal Training by ACSM (one of the hardest personal training exams right next to CSCS) and holds the “Gold standard” for the fitness industry because it was the FIRST certification and very few people pass this exam the first time let alone the second time. I graduated college May 2016 and took the exam for the first time December of 2016 and FAILED. Mind you it cost me 300 dollars to take it, and I didn’t have whole lot of financial stability at the time, so I knew it would take some saving up before I could afford it while also having to afford bills. I was very discouraged this first time (you can take it after 15 days with a discounted price) but at the time I could not afford to retake it, so I went a whole other year before re-taking it again. The first time I cried and got very upset. The second time, I had something new weighing on me, they were changing the cirriculum for this exam after this test date, so if I failed it this time, it meant having to buy new books & taking time to study the new material (expenses and time) so I retook the test Dec. 2017 and FAILED, again. Now I was very pissed off, I had cried at the gym when telling my boss/owner and sharing the news with a couple of gym members, it was like the world was falling on top of me and I couldn’t breath and didn’t know what to do, I started to think that maybe I was too dumb for this test — people gave me other names of personal training certs I could do: ACE, NASM, ISSA, etc but I didn’t want to do those, I wanted ACSM, it appealed to me because of the recognition it receives and how few people have passed. I wanted to pass it. 

In the meantime while my self esteem was low, I started looking into other cert options in case I wanted to give up on ACSM (and do know I did want to give up) because I even got ahold of NASM and talked with a rep about being interested in taking their exam and pricing and same with ACE. I even researched ISSA to see what it was about. When it was all said and done, I decided I would give ACSM a try ONCE more, because the material was new, I figured I’d rather study this new stuff then to spend more money with a whole other company/cert. Once again I was praying I could afford the new books/study aids — thankfully Amazon had it for decent price and because of using the trial period of Prime, I was able to have them shipped quickly to my house. I got my books and dug in, I decided to once again make note cards, but beforehand, read both textbooks while taking notes in a notebook then used the notes on the notecards and made over 100+ note cards to study from and used the ACSM pocket prep app. I was focused, UNTIL I wasn’t, I had set the date to February to retake the test but realized I wasn’t ready yet, so changed it to March but because I was too busy having fun on my birthday — I changed the date to April to give me more time to study (which I didn’t use my time to study very well) I got distracted by friends and wanting to hang out that I put my studies in second place & the times I could study I would have rather been able to go to bed early. I work two jobs so sleep is important to me. It wasn’t until a week before that I really dug into my notes and focused. I was overwhelmed but made it a priority to study because I didn’t want to keep rescheduling my exam. Long story short, I studies until midnight the night before and woke up bright and very, very early to eat breakfast, study and calm my nerves so I could come prepared with clarity. 

Walking into the testing center made me anxious but I was confident in myself and didn’t allow the nerves to take over my mind or fill me with negative thoughts. The test was 150 questions and I had to score 550 in order to pass. The test was HARD, very difficult but I could confidently say that I knew about 20 of the questions without pondering but the rest depended on memory, being able to answer practical questions and hoping that I can do a good job of guessing if I didn’t know the answer. Unlike the previous test, I went through all the flagged questions I had issues with and made sure I answered them to the best of my ability and even left 20 minutes on the clock before finishing the test because I took my time with this test, I wanted to do my best and give my best answers. 

I PASSED. I passed the test with a 557 score. I cried with a smile on my face and walked out that testing center not believing what just happened. I texted the first 5 people I wanted to share the news with and posted on Facebook the news. Everything was starting to make sense to me after this day, I didn’t give up. I could have very well not tried again but because I took the dive and TRIED AGAIN, I found out I could do it. I passed the exam and I am ever so blessed and happy with the results. Moral of the story, TRY AGAIN. 

“When you try something for the first time, you might find you aren’t the best at it, but doesn’t mean you can’t get better” – Shay-lon Moss

Shay-lon 

Check out my Instagram with the posted good news: ACSM cert

BeGreatGuys Post #4 — Being Average is Okay

Nowadays, people are striving to be the “best”, the best at sports, work, parenting, school, etc. It seems people steer themselves in the direction of competition in order to come out first, to be granted a reward, to be applauded, and to be remembered as someone with importance. In my opinion, the best thing to do is “be your best self” and that doesn’t mean winning at every sport or getting straight A’s in school; it means living life trying to have a good character, to stand up for what’s right when necessary, following your values/morals that correlate with who you are & choosing to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who don’t want to see you mentally exhausting yourself to be first place ALL THE TIME , but will also be there when you lose. 

 

Being average, doesn’t have to mean being complacent, or going through life with no aspirations — all that average means, is being okay with not being perfect in every aspect of your life and being okay with making mistakes, with losing a game, with getting a C on a test and studying hard next time to strive for that B+ & not weighing yourself down with comparisons to others, and obsessions of winning or being known by many. If all that attended your funeral were your family members and 3 close friends, would you be okay with that? or would you be the one to say, “nobody cares about me, only this many people attended” .. does the number that attends your funeral make a difference in how you feel about yourself? because if you think that having 100 people at your funeral is any better, try having 100 people at your funeral but only 5 of them actually care and have something they can share; memories, pictures, stories, and friendships — all the while the other 95 people attended just because they felt bad and didn’t want to be mean by not attending and didn’t even know who you really were (they liked you because you always won first place) but the second you lose first place, you lose those 95 people who you thought cared. 

 

Yes, strive for success and be great at things, excel in school and work. Compete in sports, be nominated for a prize for your efforts and continue to dream big — but don’t forget that being average doesn’t mean you suck, or that you can’t win, or that you are 2nd place loser. Being average is okay, because being average awards you the same gratification; you made progress, you did better and you might not have won every race or scored more points than your opponent but you tried and trying is way better than wishing you had. Being average doesn’t make you weak, fat or ugly, it means you are perfectly okay with being who you are because you love yourself and don’t need the audience to validate your worth; you don’t need a trophy, a fan club, a billboard in order to know you have a good character, you have flaws but don’t use them to weigh you down and that you put your effort into something you love- win or lose. You don’t need to know you are the best, to feel your best. 

 

I would know what being average is, because I am average and I love it all the same. 

 

“The best part about not winning all the time, is being able to lose and still walk away with a win; you kept the same attitude as you would have winning” -Shay-lon 

 
 

Building a positive social circle

I plan on getting back to the podcast soon that I created (been away from it for 3 months) and so to keep things fresh, I will probably do the Tips Tuesday — and gradually get back into things, don’t want to overwhelm myself with too much because of all the extra stuff I am now taking on. With this being said, I created this tip months ago, and I figured it is very important — something we should all aim for & that is:

 

Building a positive social circle.

 

What this means, is choosing to surround yourself with people who help to build you, motivate you, encourage you, and support you. We all have had people in our circle at one point who seemed like the debbie downer or the one that constantly complains about life and all the downs but never sees any positive things from it — but maybe some of us have been the negative one in our own circle (if this is true, change your outlook .. in order to gain the positive circle you seek). This is excluding those of us with mental illnesses that might play a part in our mindset, but even so with that illness, finding people who appreciate you and give you hope and have a concern for you and your life as much as you have for them is a start in the right direction. 

 

I am not perfect by any means, but since growing up and becoming more mature and making better adult decisions, I have gotten better at being alone until I meet people who have a good impact in my life instead of being friends and accepting everyone in my circle — I had to learn to be more picky because I get discouraged easy and I deal with my own demons and having a negative person who constantly brings me down, only creates more issues in the long term for me. Something we have to learn to do, is be picky as to who we allow in our lives and who we allow to impact our lives. Down below I list some ways to build a positive social circle:

 
 
  1. Be PICKY! Don’t allow anyone in, make sound decisions. Not everyone needs to be your friend
  2. Change your outlook/attitude about yourself – when you have a more positive outlook on yourself, people tend to gravitate towards you and in turn you make more relationships that are good relationships
  3. Respect people- Respect goes a long way in life, if you can respect others, normally it means they will have mutual respect for you
  4. Be open minded: Open minded individuals tend to see within a person vs the outer layer, they want a deeper connection with someone and in turn you truly start to build a stronger bond
  5. Compliment someone: Giving someone a reason to smile can make a difference — people will feel appreciated & it can make your day knowing you made someone else’s day. People enjoy compliments, truths about themselves that maybe they don’t see within them, but hearing it from someone else gives them a reason to continue being awesome! A simple compliment can carry a lot of weight
  6. Don’t be self absorbed: I always say there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself BUT you don’t want your circle to get tired of learning about you, when you become self absorbed everything revolves around you and that shows others that you don’t have their best interest in mind. I will just add that, being self absorbed can lead to bad relationships because everybody wants a chance to shine and when you take someone’s limelight to shine back on yourself, it comes off as arrogant. 
  7. Confidence is needed: Confidence is a necessity because people feed off someone who is confident with who they are, you need to carry yourself like you are proud of being alive, proud of who you are and proud of where you came from because it is what makes you, you! You might have a bad past but it doesn’t mean you are bad person, and you might have flaws but flaws don’t make you less of a person. 
  8. Think before you speak: We get in a habit with saying whatever is on our minds, which isn’t always bad, but it can lead to bad outcomes if we don’t think about how to go about things. If you keep other people’s feelings in mind, then you will have better outcomes, telling the truth isn’t bad but its how you say it that can make the whole difference. Take others into consideration before speaking too much of your mind. 
  9. Don’t be “two faced”: We all know what it means to be two faced “someone who smiles in your face but will talk behind your back when you leave” , yes, that’s very dishonest, rude and immature. Grow up, if you want people in your circle who are positive, don’t make it hard on yourself by giving them a reason to not trust you or like you. 
  10. Find people with similar hobbies: It can pay off when you acquaint yourself with those who share the same interest and hobbies as you, this makes life a little easier but don’t disregard those who are opposite because many times they can give us new experiences and allow us to step outside our comfort level. 
  11. Be true to SELF: Be real, be authentic, and be yourself. Changing for others will either end badly or last for a short period of time because you will run into all walks of life and having to shift who you are for each person will get tiring — change is good if it makes you into a better person and develops you mentally and physically and spiritually but when it becomes a change in order to “fit in” with people or groups of people, it drains you, overwhelms you, and reduces your chances of making deeper connections with people. Not everyone will like you, but those who do like you, will be worth it because they will see the best in you — 
 

Building a circle isn’t about being “popular” and most liked, it is about building a meaningful bond with people who take the time to build that same bond with you. Building a positive circle isn’t about having to smile and be happy everyday, it’s about building a circle that allows for bad days but doesn’t dwell on them — Shay-lon Moss 

 

A circle can be small (2-3 close friends) or a bigger circle (5-10 friends), or your family members — it doesn’t matter how big or small it is, it’s a circle that has your back no matter how deep the water gets; they motivate, support, and uplift you– they give you truths but don’t slam you with bad vibes — Shay-lon Moss

 

Have something you want to add to this list, feel free to leave in the comment section! 

Never too late for some Monday Motivation

Just in case you follow me on IG & want to see what I posted for inspiration — Monday Motivation