365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

8.08.19

Day 79

Have you ever lied or cheated in a relationship? Did you come clean? Do you regret it now?

  • I have never lied nor cheated while being in a relationship. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.29.19

Day 70

Do you think it is important to be honest with people even if that honesty causes pain?

  • Yes, they say “the truth hurts” & this is probably true many times to  begin with, but in the long run it creates for a more successful relationship if the person is understanding of where you are coming from and if your able to empathize with the persons whom you are speaking your mind to. There is a HUGE difference between being a b**** and being honest and many people don’t have that clear understanding; so it comes from experience in how one should handle the situations. I always prefer it when people are honest with me — no matter what, because it will only strengthen me to know the truth vs living within a lie that usually unfolds at some point and causes more pain to the individual. Why create trust issues in the first place, if you don’t have to?

365 Days of self discovery: Day 72

11.13.18

What makes you uncomfortable?

  • I will list a few things that come to mind:
  1. Confrontation
  2. Listening to people/ having people talk to me about their sexual experiences in detail 
  3. When men flirt with me, expecting something in return (especially if I don’t know them)
  4. Being stared at
  5. shopping during busy store hours
  6. using public restrooms when other patrons are in the bathroom with me
  7. having heard/listen to people slander me or talk badly about me indirectly, talking to someone else or under their breath
  8. Getting undressed and dressed in locker rooms among other people or women
  9. period cramps
  10. Having to walk in not well lit parking lots
  11. being in a financial hardship
  12. going to parties where I don’t know the area or guest
  13. driving long distances in the dark
  14. feeling bloated
  15. having to hold my bladder due to being in conversation and afraid to excuse myself
  16. some form of compliments depending on the person giving it
I am sure many of you may be able to relate to some of the things I listed, but what about things I haven’t, what makes you uncomfortable? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 54

Do You Always Tell The Truth?

self discovery day 54

  • Such a tough question since I like being honest and being truthful, but I would lying if I said I have never told a lie; even now as an adult. However, I pride myself with being able to tell the truth in most cases, but in many cases I have found that I sugar coat the truth if I know the honesty might hurt someone’s feelings or could cause for more problems (which in turn means I am not really being 100 percent honest) but I can live with that, if it means I am not tearing someone’s heart out or making them feel less than their best. People say they would rather hear the truth, but many people can’t honestly handle it, so I have to consider the situation and how much of the truth to tell, and how to word it in order to make it so it doesn’t come off as though I am being a B word. I prefer to be 100 percent honest, because I would want the same in return (even if it does hurt me) at least I know & in theory I always start with telling the truth but I won’t deny there have been times I have fabricated the truth to protect somebody or myself — not my proudest moments but I have done it. Sometimes the truth can lead to more problems and sometimes people are in denial of the truth which doesn’t help your case, I guess I shouldn’t make excuses for the times I have lied, but I am just saying, the truth sometimes holds worse consequences. In general, I consider myself a very honest person.

How about you, do you ALWAYS tell the truth, have there been situations where you didn’t tell the truth? share in the comment section. 

I don’t live my life to Appease you

Not anymore.

It is within our nature to want to be accepted by others, to want to “fit in” and feel like we can have a common place with someone else. We strive to be this person that people can say they like, talk highly about and want to be around on a more constant basis. It’s almost like we do things in order to prove we are worthy of these things, but what for? because popularity is a form of what we would consider “love”, and people like feeling loved — and cared for. It’s without a doubt, a great indicator of who we are and how we perceive ourselves because in the mist of wanting to be this “popular” buzz, we find out what sacrifices we had to make in order to appease the crowd & how those same sacrifices effect our character. Sometimes by being the “crowds favorite person” you find out that you had to sell your soul to the devil (metaphorically speaking) and once you decide to sell yourself short in order to gain a couple new friends, you don’t get to make another bargain. It’s a final sale & there are no refunds, you gave away yourself in order to buy a new face — you prided yourself for the amount of people who speak about you, but not everyone stays around long enough to meet the real you, when you finally have had a enough exhaustion for one day & need a break from it all, you have to remember it comes with a losing sacrifice, you lose out on the people you gained and you lost the ones who accepted you without change — but because of your greedy mind and wishful thinking, you have nobody at the end of this tunnel if you don’t stick with this mask that made you phenomenal. 

I created this writing as a piece to dedicate to myself & to those who have or once had lived to appease. They lived their lives constantly wanting someone to notice them, wanting to be their friend, wanting to be apart of something grand because for so long they weren’t happy with what they had, even if what they had was pure. Sometimes we want to strive for bigger & better but not always is this the best path, it can come with consequences if you don’t read the small bold print at the bottom of the contract and has its been known to change a person’s character and scar them. For we don’t get to choose who we meet, but if who we meet changes who we are for the worst, than maybe we need to reconsider how we go about letting people in. To appease someone else by changing yourself is like living a life with half truths. Not everyone was meant to like you, the true you, some will deem it “not good enough” ; but what isn’t good enough for them was good enough for those who stayed by your side no matter your flaws. If ONLY one person deemed you “good enough” , that one person is worthy of your love because that one person didn’t ask you to conform but instead asked you to be yourself in exchange for their true selves. We don’t have to unmask ourselves to see the face, we only have to question if who we really are, is the mask we put on everyday. Don’t live to appease, live to be loved and to be cared for 100 percent, live to be you, live to be true and never live to fit in because tears will flood the eyes who have reached their own demise. 

Shay-lon

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