BEGREATGUYS Tips #8

USE Your Failures As Strengths 

If you are going to remind yourself of your failures, then make them into strengths. Might as well make them useful and to your benefit. I’d rather you remember the times you failed or gave up in order to push you than to forget about them; only to end up in the same position you are in now: struggling with trying again. We have all been unsuccessful at something (work, fitness, sports, etc) and regardless if it happened in front of many people or in your own privacy — it still sucked nonetheless. Out of anger and frustration, we try again, only to fail once more because instead of using the failure as willpower, we used it to fuel our negative mindset. I can’t promise the voyage will be easy, but I can tell you one thing: it will be useful. 

I am going to share some simple steps to follow so that when the time comes, you have the power to continue:

  1. Don’t do it with anger or malicious intent. In remembering your failures, it can be hard to think that maybe you aren’t great at something, but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better — if you try again in a relaxed, focused state, you will be better off.
  2. Don’t assume the worst before beginning. It’s easy to assume that if we failed once, we are bound to do it again BUT don’t get caught up with that; that leads to anger/frustration & you lose focus on what is important
  3. Have to be willing to accept either path. It isn’t guaranteed that if you try again you will prevail the second time round; you may fail again but the goal is to try again and get better each time. 
  4. Don’t be afraid to fail in front of others. Allowing your pride to get the best of you, will only hinder you. Failing at something in front of somebody doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger. Don’t be worried about what someone may think or say, just worry about producing results
  5. Change your vocabulary. Utilize words that push you: I can, I will, It’s possible, Keep trying , etc. Using negative words can lead to negative thoughts and not so great results. 

For every time I have given up on something, I have regretted it later on. You never know what you are truly capable of, until you have given it all that you have more than enough times to count — Shay-lon

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World Autism Awareness Day

For those who are unaware, today is “World Autism Awareness Day” — I am all for mental health awareness (my blog focuses on both mental and physical health). I think it is good that we keep ourselves educated and aware of current events going on around us, mental health issues/conditions and wanting to understand other people’s experiences. I know autism isn’t anything new, but I know people who suffer from a mild form of it, and some of my family members have worked with kids who suffer from moderate to more severe forms of autism. We have come a long way in science, but still there is no affirmative answer as to how some people become autistic and others don’t. It is believed that both environmental factors and genetics play a part in autistic persons but NO specific environmental causes have been proven yet. For a while I know many people blamed the vaccination that prevented childhood infectious diseases but multiple studies have said that the vaccinations did not increase the chances of autism — not saying that these studies are 100 percent true, because I believe there may be studies who slightly disagree with this claim, but I suppose it all depends on what source is saying what and your thoughts around it after gaining more understanding and research on the topic. 

 

If you are unaware of what autism is, it is characterized as “a developmental disorder that that impairs the ability to communicate and interact”. With this being said, it doesn’t mean that everyone with autism cannot speak or form sentences, or is mute; I have a client with autism, who functions and speaks just the same — as said before, some have mild forms and others have more moderate or severe forms of autism. 

 

Common signs of autism?

 
  • Social impairment and communication difficulties — some people find social interactions difficult. Simply avoiding eye contact, not respond to their name, children with autism may find they would rather be alone (play games by themselves vs playing with other children), many people with autism may have a difficult time with talking about their feelings and understanding other people’s feelings. Delayed speech, no speech, inappropriate forms of speech, awkwardness while talking, may repeat phrases, or give unrelated answers to questions.. etc.
  • Repetitive & characteristic behaviors: Repetitive movements or unusual behaviors, become obsessive over certain topics, preoccupied with certain aspects of a toy, many people with autism thrive from routine (changes can be challenging for them), anger or emotional outburst. etc. 

There are more signs I hadn’t listed but this gives you somewhat of an understanding but it’s always good to get more information from your medical doctor or a specialist in the area of mental health who can provide more answers. 

 

Treatments can include medications that DON’T CURE OR TREAT MAIN SYMPTOMS, medications can help some of the symptoms (anxiety, depression, obsessive behavior), another treatment is “educational & behavioral interventions (which have been proven to be helpful) 

 

Diagnosing autism can be difficult at times because of the fact that sometimes symptoms go unrecognized for a period of time & not everyone experiences the same type of symptoms. 

Some early on indicators might be: 

  • poor eye contact
  • no response to name
  • no babbling or pointing by age 1
  • no smiling or social responsiveness

just to name a few. Later indicators:

  • impaired ability to make friends with peers
  • repetitive or unusual use of language
  • abnormally intense or focused interest
  • preoccupation of certain objects or subjects

plus more that I haven’t listed. Again, the best thing to do is ask questions to medical professionals or do your own research, because even if you don’t know anyone who suffers from autism, it doesn’t mean you won’t ever come into contact with someone who doesn’t have it. Hopefully this information was somewhat helpful and more of you share your own tidbits of information in the comment sections; thanks for reading, comment, like, and share! 

 

Shay-lon 

26 compared to 25. (Motivation Monday)

It’s probably fair to assume that since turning 26 on Thursday March 22nd, I have looked back on my life & everything that has changed (my goals, my maturity level, my growth, my career goals, my morals, my circle of friends, etc) some of the changes haven’t been big, but gradual over the course of the years and other changes, I made right away because it was “time”; time to develop myself and strive for new goals for myself. Goals that would challenge me and that could be accomplished by the time I reach 27 of next year. 

To begin with, I believe the big change in my life since turning 26 is my maturity level and level of understanding myself, this doesn’t mean that I won’t have fun at 26 or will live life “seriously” every given day; it means I have new priorities and obligations that mean more to me this year to have accomplished than it did the previous years. It means when I tell myself I want to do something — I will do it, because I am getting older and time is of the essence; and it means I am going to focus on my prospering my life a whole lot more. The fun will be there; the living life to the fullest won’t disappear, but the journey will be more focused and more dedicated than before. The “understanding myself” part is the time I have taken to clear my mind of the past mistakes and opening my mind to what it means to be happy within myself, finding ways to conquer my bad days, humbling myself in order to create a better circle of people who surround me, taking time to “treat” myself, putting myself first, getting to know my flaws & learning to better myself in all areas of my life one step at a time. All of these things about understanding who I am, is going to take time & won’t come fast but it shows I have progressed when I can see changes in myself that make me happy. 

 

My career goals, have pretty much stayed the same but with a addition of things that will help fulfill my life & add more fun to my goals — keep me on my feet but not overwhelm me with stress. Of course these goals will also take some learning on my part and some networking and possibly even more sacrifices — in the beginning, I wasn’t prepared for this, but now I feel I am more prepared because I see what I do on a daily basis and realize I have to have balance in my life to achieve my success — I have to work harder with more effort but not work harder and stressed. That’s a huge change I am making for myself, learning to find ways to cope with overwhelming amounts of stress (stress won’t disappear, because I know it happens) but instead of shutting down; I want to work through it and find my “coping ways” so that I can live a more positive lifestyle. My career choices will be stressful in the beginning because it will be a whirlwind of emotions and dedication — but in the end, I want it to be fun and take my breathe away every time.

 

Friendships & family members. I have decided that I won’t chase after people in order to keep them close. I will make better efforts to keep in contact with close friends and mend relationships that might need mending and I will eliminate any negativity that keeps me from thriving. I will be happy for those who succeed in life and hope that when I progress, they will be happy for me. I will stay humbled, no matter how far I come, because I won’t forget where I started and who helped me to get there when I needed the boost of motivation — that’s really important, staying humble. I am going to make new friendships but be picky in choosing my friends, I will not allow family to keep me from being who I want to be in this world because it might not fit their dream. I have decided that if you want to be in my life for the long haul, then I won’t have to ask, because I will know 🙂 My friends and family I love dearly and always will, but with love doesn’t mean I have to stop going for what I want for myself, it means they should be my biggest fans and always support me through and through and if I should fall, they will be the people who I can cry on & the same people who tell me to get back up and keep going. 

 

My physical well-being. I am transforming my body to new heights, I am becoming stronger and more willing to push myself past limits that before I was too scared to try. My physique is showing changes — some I enjoy and some I do not, but with my continued fight to accept myself, I will keep training and continue to make this a trial and error situation until I find the right balance with my body and diet. I will also take more care of my skin, my hair, my outer appearance because I want to feel good and look good. 

 

Mentality — My mental state will need work, because I have anxiety and mild forms of depression at times, but I have come a long way in handling these two things and also, have found new forms of better managing them without having to take medication (I refuse to take medication, never have) so I want to keep my mental state in check and make sure that on my off days, I really take the proper “me” time. I have also decided after talking to a friend to start up writing in a journal (keeping a diary of everything each day); I used to do this but stopped last year during my break up with an ex, but I enjoyed doing it, so want to give it a go again. My body dysphoria (lack of seeing myself the way others view my body) is ongoing battle as well but I am learning to look at myself and not nit pick everything. It won’t go away, but it does have it moments where it isn’t as bad. Thankfully having an encouraging circle helps soften my blows to myself. 

 

Goals — life goals will be ever changing because I have many of them and some that I want to do before 27 and others I want to do before dying. I plan on writing them all down and checking them off. Some of the goals will be with friends and others will be done on my own but either way, I want to stay motivated and having goals will help with that, but I won’t allow myself to become upset if I shouldn’t make them in a deadline because shit happens. 

 

Financially stable. I have reached a point in my life where finances are becoming more and more important; I can’t rely on money falling from the sky, so I have to work to keep myself responsible for my lifestyle choices. While being rich would be nice, I aim to be more comfortable and to live a less lavish lifestyle and more minimal way of spending money. I will spend money on travels, food, shelter and for memories that I can keep, I will buy clothes when necessary and new shoes when needed, and will continue to spend money on loved ones on special occasions.  I won’t allow myself to go broke in order to keep up with the “Jones”, and I won’t allow myself to feel obligated to buy things for a few compliments. Taking care of myself, that will be important, making sure I can pay on credit cards, being sure I can afford groceries and living circumstances, being sure that I can afford having a social life with friends, being sure I can afford my needs — that is important to me. There was a time when affording materialistic things in order to “fit in” mattered to me, but after growing up and realizing most people don’t give a shit and realizing that I have no business trying to impress someone who is superficial in the first place — I am going to spend my money more responsibly so that in the end, I have savings, I have emergency funds and have a better grip on my finances. I began this process by cutting up all my credit cards. 

 

Dating — If I am being honest, I am single and currently not in any rush to jump into a new relationship. I am  over my ex, but not yet ready to share my life with someone because I have things I want to do on my own for the time being BUT I am open to dating and meeting people. I even started talking to someone but was upfront on my intentions. We both agreed if we end up together — awesome but if not, then we are totally okay with having a fantastic friendship — right now I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine, we have some great conversations and share many personal things with one another. I find that this time around, I know what I look for in a potential partner and have also opened my mind to other things about people that I was blinded to in the beginning because of my superficial thoughts. Wherever this road takes me, I don’t know, but for now I am enjoying myself and this is important because I want to be happy alone before adding someone to my life. 


Athlete — being an athlete is my job and hobby, it’s my thrill and stress, my fun and competition. I love it, and my continued goals of competing and influencing others to be their best self in whatever they do is ongoing. I have been sponsored by companies, have been lifting since may 2016 and will be competing in powerlifting and will then broaden my horizon in other fitness industry sports so that I am well rounded and can offer more help when training my clients and growing my business. 

In becoming an athlete and growing my social media platforms, I have found where I need work when it comes to my own lifts and where I want to grow mentally and physically. This is part of who I am and who I choose to be, I don’t need fame to make me relevant within the industry, having made my own path and working towards growing my brand — I hope my athletic ability will motivate others to be reckless, kick ass and smile every chance they get when they want to better themselves in their sports. I want my brand to be about confidence, humbled experiences and thriving from positive people. xo 



Of course there are many other aspects to my life that I feel are important == but to keep this post short and sweet, those aspects I won’t mention at this time. I believe where my life is now, is not where I want it to be next year, I want it to be bigger, better and have more achievements. I know today is Monday, and what better way to spend it than to start this new journey at 26 now. I have a book I want to write, actually two books I want to write, so that will be a whole other addition to my goals that I want to accomplish. 26 never felt so inspiring, but I am thrilled to get this path started! 

 

Thanks for reading, hopefully all of you enjoyed this read. Feel free to leave comments, share and follow my blog. 

 

Shay-lon 

 
 

Seasonal Affective Disorder

It is getting to be that time of year where people typically get more gloomy because of the weather, and the seasons changing. Not only do people tend to get allergies or aches/pains, their personalities or moods can change. I have to thank a friend of mine for bringing this disorder to my attention because we were talking about how the weather makes us both kind of “blah” because of the lack of sunshine and it becoming more and more cold outside. Neither one of us has been diagnosed with “Seasonal Affective Disorder” and I don’t believe I have it and neither does she, but it brought up a good point because this isn’t a disorder that I hear much about until it gets to be about this time of year – even then, I don’t think a whole lot of people think twice about it. I decided to do some research and learn something new about a disorder and hopefully share what I have learned with all of you, BUT I always appreciate it more when it comes from someone who has the experience because it is more realistic and more personal – so if you have something to add to this, please do in the comment section 🙂

 

First things first, what is seasonal affective disorder? In simple terms, it is a type of depression that comes and goes with the seasons. Most often occurs in the early fall/winter and usually ends sometime around spring/summer. Clearly not everyone loves the cold weather but it doesn’t mean you have seasonal affective disorder. With this being said, I have some fun information below:

 

Word of caution: This disorder is not considered as a separate disorder. In order for someone to be diagnosed with SAD, they have to meet the full criteria or major depression coinciding with specific seasons for ATLEAST 2 years. This means it needs to be more frequent compared to other depressions. So having said this, there are reasons for why someone would be diagnosed with this, this isn’t just somebody who doesn’t like winter or cold weather – more goes into a diagnosis. 

 

Signs/symptoms:

Winter Pattern:

 
  • Low energy 
  • hypersomnia
  • overeating
  • weight gain
  • craving for carbohydrates
  • social withdrawal 

Summer SAD:

  • poor appetite /weight loss
  • insomnia 
  • agitation
  • restlessness
  • anxiety
  • episodes of violent behavior

Then also consider some of the major depression signs/symptoms along with these. 

 

Risk Factors Associated with SAD

  • Females are diagnosed more often than men with this disorder (lucky us ladies!, lol)
  • Living further from the equator
  • Family history of depression
  • Younger age

Treatment options:

  • Medication
  • light therapy
  • psychotherapy 
  • Vitamin D

With this being said, Vitamin D supplements haven’t been 100 percent proven to treat seasonal affective disorder, but having more time in the sunlight seems to help and taking the supplements is neither here or there in research.. depending on the individual. Now there may be new treatments available or perhaps more treatments I have not listed, and so share them if you will. If you have your own way of dealing with SAD, please share it for my readers and so I can also learn something as well. Thank you for reading, please feel free to share, like, reblog, and follow!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon

 
 

A New Week, A New Thought

Bloggers,

I decided to add another fun topic to my blog because well, I wanted to and because there are some things I think would be fun to talk about with within this category. This specific category will be called “Thinking Out Loud” & I will post it on Sundays! basically this will integrate my thoughts for the week, current events (preferably around fitness/health), my opinions on certain things in the industry, it might talk on my experiences or tell a story, it might be discussing things outside of the scope of fitness/health, it could be about anything really that doesn’t already fit into my other categories (which I will name at the end of this post) so hopefully all of you will enjoy it greatly because I am looking forward to it myself. 

 

ALSO…For those of you who may not follow my soundcloud account, I have decided that I also want to add another category based off of my podcast & it will be “Tuesday Fitness/health advice & tips” so I will continue my podcast series but will be adding this to the blog as well now because I want everyone to benefit from this 🙂 Which this basically is going to be me giving you advice & tips and also be answering questions that maybe people have asked me or have for me now that could be helpful for others. 

 

ALSO, ALSO… My podcast is supposed to have interviews, current events, Q & A on Saturdays, but I have been slacking and yet to do that, so not only will that continue (as soon as I find ways to get that going) but WHEN and IF I have time, I will be adding guest post to my blog (which is nothing new) but haven’t done it in a  LONG time. Yikes! sorry.  but this will take place on Saturday’s or Sundays possibly – the way I will go about it, is I just have a list of over 100 DIFFERENT TOPICS I want to write about written down and some are meant for guest post and some are meant for me to write about – so basically if I come to you about writing something for me, it is because I feel like you could be a good person to discuss that particular topic BUT this does not mean I don’t allow people to write guest post otherwise, because I have had people come to me about wanting to guest post (which is fine) but I am just really picky because this blog is my baby! lol so don’t take offense if I don’t accept your topic or request to write a post on my blog, because I like to be choosy because I worked my ass off on this blog like everyone else on theirs. 

 

ALSO, ALSO, ALSO.. LOL.. I have been doing Review Wednesday’s on YouTube (so yes, I will be adding them to the blog regularly on Wed whenever I do them) 

 

So with this all being said and laid out, I am hoping going into this new year, my blog will continue to grow, and give everyone something to read about that they are interested in no matter what journey they are on as far as fitness/health goes. 

 

Blog Schedule:

 
  1. Monday: Motivation/Inspiration quotes & my workout for the day
  2. Tuesday: Exercise (how to do/I choose an exercise and discuss it), my workout for the day, YouTube exercise videos, & fitness/health tips & advice
  3. Wednesday: My reviews, injury prevention post & my workout for the day
  4. Thursday: Mental health awareness post & my workout for the day
  5. Friday: No blog post
  6. Saturday: Recipes & my workout for the day, possible guest post
  7. Sunday: “Thinking out loud” Sunday post, possible guest post

Podcast Schedule:

  1. Monday: Motivation/Inspiration
  2. Tuesday: Fitness/health advice & Tips
  3. Wednesday: LGBT+ Topics and discussion
  4. Thursday: Recipes (a lot of times I will share this recipe on Saturday’s blog post for recipes so don’t be shocked if they turn out to be the same thing at times because not everyone follows my blog or podcast.. so I want everyone to hear and see the same things)
  5. Friday: no podcast
  6. Saturday: Interviews, Q & A, current events, misc 
  7. Sunday: no podcast

If anyone has any questions about these two schedules, let me know! As far as YOUTUBE goes, my schedule has not been completely made yet, so when I have that organized, I will be sure to post that schedule as well. 

Keep in mind that I work two jobs and I have studies & with holidays coming up and growing my brand, I will be busy and I might miss days of the week or have to post certain topics on other days because I am hella busy like everyone else in the world, don’t get mad at me, I am only human and I will do my best to continue making fun content that engages all of you! I love all my bloggers and readers and appreciate all of you for being my #1’s 🙂

My Social media (Yes, you can follow me)

YES, I do use them all (some more than others) so feel free to add me! otherwise, everyone have a wonderful Sunday!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

 

Shay-lon xo

P.S don’t forget my second blog ... https://gaylesbianme.wordpress.com/

World Mental Health Day

Mental Health Awareness!

Spread knowledge, understanding, love and patience.

https://soundcloud.com/shay-lonfitnesswonderwoman-moss-fitness-wonderwoman/fitness-health-advice-10-world

With today being “World Mental health day” , I wanted to make a post and podcast about mental health. Every Thursday I dedicate my blog to mental health awareness because I believe it is so important to make these disorders known so that they become less of an omen and more of a way to enlighten, teach and hopefully make it so people understand the different mental health conditions – in hopes that we will find more ways to help these individuals and also to help ourselves from being ignorant of the matter. Mental health has been in this world for a long time, there once was time when it was looked down upon and people were sent to places that weren’t so great and were treated very poorly. Being in 2017, it has definitely gotten better but we aren’t perfect, many illnesses are still frowned upon and haven’t been thoroughly researched enough to understand them fully. While I believe we have gotten to a place where people know more than they did, I still believe it is important we continue to educate ourselves and spread awareness. I, being one who suffers from social anxiety and have had my issues with mild depression and nervous breakdowns, it isn’t always easy to talk to people about it, and sometimes it is difficult to share our stories or experiences with others because there is always that fear of judgement or fear that we will be the outcast because of it. Many people who suffer from mental health disorders live normal lives, and work with you and play with you and probably smile in your face at the grocery store but it doesn’t mean they don’t have an inner demon or that they aren’t wearing a mask to get through their day. It is not easy to spot mental health disorders in others and I don’t expect anyone to be professionals at it unless it is their job BUT my goal and hope for all of you is that if someone who know is suffering and trust you with this information, that you can be their light at the end of the tunnel or their ear when they need to talk or their friend when they feel alone— it won’t be easy, God knows, and it probably won’t seem like you are doing anything special for them but from my experience, sometimes knowing that you aren’t a burden to someone because of your illness can make it a little easier. 

 

We all have our own lives to live & our own issues to deal with — I’m not asking people to go out of their way to listen to everyone’s story and play superhero, I just ask that we keep open minded & try to have patience and give what little time we have in our day to a loved one or friend who may need someone to see them for who they are when they aren’t having to disguise themselves in front of the world – because many times if they allow you to see them “raw” as such, it is their way of opening up and hopefully you feel honored knowing this because many hide it and disguise it for a long time & either end up taking their own lives or abuse drugs/alcohol or end up in worse case scenarios. With this being said, I appreciate all of my readers for being supportive of me having to open up to all of you on my blog about myself  and my world and i have had the pleasure of reading and talking to individuals who shared some deeper thoughts/dealt with deeper issues – which in turn helped me to gain understanding and insight into their world. I want all of you to know, I don’t mind being an ear or a friend or being a inspiration to get through the day/ you can count on me to listen and while I might never have the right answers, I will do my best to be there. I love you and I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

 

Shay-lon xo

ADHD (mental health awareness)

Attention- deficit/hyperactivity disorder

mental health awareness

I knew someone who had ADHD all my life, but I didn’t realize what it was when I was younger, I just knew they acted “differently” in a way I could not express nor understand at the time, and not to mention they were taking meds – but when I got older my mom had explained to me why they were taking meds, and I still was unclear of the situation but had a better understanding than I had in the beginning, so with that being said, I know people who have mentioned to me that their child has ADHD and I know some adults do as well, or have been diagnosised with it, so I thought today would be the day to discuss this disorder a little further to gain some understanding and hopefully challenge all of you to share this with your peers and share your own experiences as well. 

 

What is ADHD?

Is categorized as a brain disorder that happens to interfere with functioning or development. 

 
  1. Inattention: a person who wonders off task, lacks persistence, disorganized and has difficulty sustaining focus
  2. Hyperactivity: someone who moves about constantly
  3. impulsivity: Makes hasty actions before thinking about them which could lead to harm or desire for immediate awards. 

Causes?

It isn’t 100 percent sure of what causes ADHD, but some things that are considered risk factors:

 
  • genes
  • cigarette smoking, drugs or alcohol abuse while pregnant
  • exposure to environmental toxins during pregnacy
  • exposure to environmental toxins at a young age
  • brain injuries, and
  • low birth weight

Said to be more common in males vs females. 

 

Signs/symptoms

  • Overlook details 
  • make careless mistakes on homework or during activities
  • problems with sustaining attention
  • easily distracted by unrelated thoughts or stimuli
  • forgetful of daily activities 
  • fidget or squirm in seat
  • run around or climb in situations that are inappropriate 
  • talk nonstop
  • problems waiting his/her turn
  • interrupt or intrude on others

This list not the whole list, but gives you an idea, but be sure to do your own research as well for other signs/symptoms. These are just some of the ones I know. 

 

Treatment:

  • Medication (stimulants and non stimulants)
  • behavioral therapy
  • family and martial therapy
  • parenting skills (for parents who have children with ADHD, this could be helpful in understanding how to handle the situation)
  • for kids: help them to make a routine of their day they can stick to, being clear and consistent, giving praise or rewards when rules are followed, finding ways to organize their binders
  • For adults: keeping reminders, making a routine of your day, using calendars, making list for different task, assigning special places for important things like keys. 

So while this information is on an individualized basis, be sure to speak to a specialist to obtain more information and do your own research on the matter to gain more understanding. If you enjoyed this post, be sure to like, comment, share and follow! thank you for reading. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo