365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 119

12.30.18

Do you have fears of abandonment? Why could this be?

  • I had never heard of “Fear of abandonment” before having to answer this question, so I did some mini research & was shocked when I compared some of the information with myself — realizing I have this fear. I have this fear when it comes to relationships, and while I don’t show all signs, I have many of them when dating. I necessarily consider this a horrible thing, in fact, I love that I found this out about myself because now I will do more research on the matter and find ways to make this less of an issue for future relationships. I’m not 100 percent sure why I have this phobia or for how long I have had it to go into great detail, but I believe it could be some form of trauma I experienced in previous relationships (that I was aware of, or blocked out) or perhaps something from my childhood triggered it. While this isn’t something to brag about, I do believe it is important to be honest with myself, I could have chosen to deny this and pretend it isn’t a thing; but what good would that have been? Hopefully if any of you have this fear, you feel comfortable enough to express it & if you don’t know, look into it and get an understanding of it and what it means — you might be surprised. 
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365 Days of self discovery: Day 115

12.26.18

What cause do you feel strongly about? How can you help?

  • Mental health awareness
  • Suicide Awareness
  • LGBTQ rights
Basically I can choose to join communities or organizations, I am create forums or groups where people can feel safe talking to others who may know how they feel, I can spread awareness through my writing and sharing my own experiences, voting and taking part in government issues so I can stay up to date and make choices that are going to benefit me and my cause(s), 
Are there any causes that you feel strongly about? list them. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 84

11.25.18

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

  • I consider myself a little bit of both, but mostly an extrovert by nature (when I know someone well enough). The introvert side of me, is due to my social anxiety — I love being sociable & consider myself very outgoing and adventurous but sometimes my social anxiety gets the best of me and hinders me & I’m less likely to talk, less outgoing in fear of what people may think of me or due to the environment/or uncomfortable situation & many times the feeling of being overwhelmed triggers my anxiety as well (overwhelmed by the number of people, the feeling of not belonging, or feeling as though everyone is paying exceptional attention to me because I stick out). As an extrovert, I challenge my introverted side by doing things with friends and learning to do things on my own so that I can depend on me & feel comfortable in my own space without having to feel as though I need someone in order to do something. 

How many of my readers are introverts? How many of you are extroverts? are you a mixture of both, why?

RIP To All Those Who lost their lives

I just want to take the time to say how sorry I am for all those currently struggling with the loss of their loved ones during the last night’s shooting in California at Borderline Bar and Grill. This world is chaos, and it has become a “normal” thing for these mass shootings, soft shooting to take place anywhere and everywhere. That’s sad, pathetic and scary. I was on twitter today and reading the masses of tweets and one in particular stood out to me (I dont have cable any longer, so I feel am always last to know things unless posted on FB or instagram or a friend should tell me) and did you guys know that this shooting marked 304th mass shooting of 2018 thus far. It blows my mind more and more when I think about it because we used to grow up in this mentality that “my neighborhood is safe, this town has hardly any crime, this could never happen here to me, what are the chances of it happening here, and the most crimes we have are small.. ” well guess what America? NEWS FLASH! but safe is relative & there is no safe zone, nobody is safe from destruction besides the dead. Hell, growing up, I always thought this town was safe from all harm due to it being a pretty well established area with very little crime but now, we have drug overdoses every week, we have had people killed from gunshots and stabbings and we have car break ins, etc.. and guess what? that’s not nearly half of what goes on here that the crooked system tries to hide, regardless, crime can happen everywhere and no state, city, county is safe from a mass shooting erupting — people don’t give a fuck! I hate to say it, but people who want to harm others; on a mission to make hell for someone else isn’t going to discriminate where it takes place, if they have the tools and the way in, they will take it & we need not forget that aspect. 

Our country has been talking about “gun control” since the Pulse shooting and yet there has not been a solution in place, not enough action being taken and too much conversation that prolongs the process before another shooting happens. We say gun control, we say we need to not continue to make mass shootings a normal happening, we say we need to band together and come up with a solution, we say we need to change the laws, we say we need to ban certain people from obtaining weapons, etc, but what haven’t we done? we haven’t done enough.. we are discussing the same policies, the same written documents, the same agendas we were discussing back when things started and now we are doing the same thing , and this is giving perps more time to plan the next chaotic attack because we aren’t taking enough action. I am scared for our country and the future, scared for my family and friends, scared for myself and people who I don’t even know — innocent people’s lives.. I am scared because no matter what we decide, people aren’t going to wait for us to take action, they will continue to do these shootings because they can and will. When we finally take some sort of action, it probably still won’t be enough because the internet makes things easily accessible & we live in sick, cruel world where all it takes is a click of a button, power and or money and BOOM!

I was reading a post on twitter on how we are blaming these shootings on mental health problems/disorders and conditions but how dare we use this as a scapegoat each time someone decides to become radical and do a mass shooting. I couldn’t agree more with the person who stated it, because hell, I suffer from mental health disorders but I am not out here shooting up buildings, blowing up people and taking innocent lives — and while I know mental health is running rapid & many times people can’t afford medication, don’t know they suffer from something or can’t afford to get help they need, it doesn’t mean all of us with mental health disorders are taking it upon ourselves to kill people. I am more than aware that some have severe cases of mental health issues and can cause harm to themselves and others but I don’t believe we should continue using mental health as a scapegoat because I believe it fuels the stigma already placed on people who suffer from mental health disorders/conditions. If mental health is an issue (which it is when people can’t afford or have the help they seek or need) then lets come up with something to help those in need — but if every time we assumed someone who killed someone has a mental health disorder, it would be bullshit because there are so many people in their right mind who just are evil people doing these things, it doesn’t always come down to them having a mental health disorder, sometimes they are just malicious people with bad intents. Two things:

  1. We need to focus on the fact that NOT every person who goes out and does a senseless act has a mental health disorder, fact is, people can be evil and do crimes like this, it doesn’t mean they have PTSD or anxiety or anything else, it could just mean, they are evil and have bad intentions. 
  2.  If we want to keep blaming mental health for reasons why people go out and kill people and commit mass shootings, then find a way to help people or make it possible for people to afford health care, prescriptions, therapy sessions, etc and create a better reform so people understand the different types of mental health disorders & instead of justifying the shootings with this person suffered with a mental health disorder .. how about we take action on gun control & have a better judicial system that hands out consequences instead of slapping people on the wrist to stay moral. 

I agree with this person who quoted:Mental illnesses didn’t shoot & kill 12 people in last night. A man with a gun did. Im sick of people using mental illness as a scapegoat, which further stigmatizes those of us that struggle with it. It’s lazy & dishonest” -Khary Penebaker, Fx .

Again, I am sorry for all those that lost someone due to the shooting, I pray in time you heal and find it in your heart to continue living your best life. ❤ 

P.S I am all for conceal to carry, I believe protecting ourselves is the best method these days; especially in having to defend yourself and family/friends. Take away people’s right to protect themselves, we are left defenseless and people who can’t fend for themselves are usually left to die without being able to put up a fight. However,  I do believe we can come up with a solid solution that doesn’t take away people’s rights to defend themselves but makes it harder for those who shouldn’t have gun to obtain one, but even so, the internet is easy and accessible and people will always find a way. Sadly.

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 66

11.07.18

What are you passionate about?

  1. My career as a personal trainer
  2. Writing; blogging
  3. physical and mental health — the importance of it, stigmas, health care, etc
  4. Traveling 
  5. Motivational & inspirational speaking — I want to pursue a career doing so on the side
  6. LGBTQ issues 

What are your passions? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 65

11.06.18

What changes could you make to improve your health?

  • Making yearly Dr. visits to stay updated on my general well-being & to take care of any health issues that should arise.
  • Keep my sugar content lower because diabetes runs in my family
  • Drink enough water daily because I have had a habit of being dehydrated & that’s not healthy
  • Cut down on consumption of processed foods (which I hardly eat fast food, besides pizza or Chinese take out on the weekends) and since I love cooking and I meal prep, it has become easier to consume less processed food
  • Follow my macros again to keep me on the right path with my goals & prevent me from overeating and meeting my nutritional goals for proteins, fats, carbs, fiber and calorie intake
  • Continue with meditation for my mental well-being
  • Making it a goal to walk 10,000 steps or more daily to stay proactive
  • Being mindful of the supplements I take and pay attention to how my body reacts to them
  • Make yearly appointments to visit the dentist for oral hygiene care
  • Be more proactive of reading the ingredients on the food labels while shopping ( I read the food labels but hardly pay attention to ingredients and should be more mindful of what I am eating)
  • When and if life should throw me a lemon I cannot handle or manage, I should learn that by seeking a therapist for help is okay and that sometimes it better to talk to someone than to live with it inside.
  • Get more sleep! make my sleep schedule a priority! 
  • Take more initiative to brush my teeth two or three times daily for better oral hygiene  

What are some health improvements you could make (no matter how big or small) share it in the comments & follow, like and share this post with peers! 

World Mental Health Awareness Day

Mental health awareness day

Today is Mental Health Awareness Day.

Coming from someone who suffers from a form of anxiety (social anxiety), a form of depression, BDD (body dysmorphic disorder), and OCD. I know first hand what it’s like to be in a dark place that is hard to get out of, or to not have the willpower to want to continue living because you feel worthless, useless, not fitting, and lost & it seems easier to give up and throw in the towel than to fight with your thoughts. Mental health is a REAL thing. It’s not fun to be the person that people think is weird because they don’t understand you or what you are going through. It’s a stigma that needs to be broken, it doesn’t matter your childhood, how in shape you are, your ethnicity or status quo among your peers, IT DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE. 

Mental health needs attention, it needs our help with breaking the cycle of judging a person based on their diagnosis. If you suffer from Mental Health, I want you to know: YOU ARE LOVED, WE DO CARE, and people are willing to help if you let them.  It’s not easy but don’t give up on yourself, because there are people like myself who won’t give up on you.

#BreakTheStigma