How do you feel about others seeing your body? For example, at the beach?
- My only issue with exposing my body is the initial response of having to undress into my bikini (taking off the clothes that hide my bikini) but once I have fully revealed myself to the public within seconds, my main focus changes from worrying what others think to worrying about how cold the water is, LOL. It does take me awhile (a lot of contemplating) to even get to the point where I am in my bikini, many times it takes someone else to urge me to get into the water before I even consider it. The only other time this would bother me is if I notice someone staring or watching me the whole time, it gives me anxiety and makes me feel uncomfortable ( I know people will glance ) but I don’t like when people stare. Many people see me as someone in great shape but I don’t always see that through my eyes and it makes me more self conscious.
Are you comfortable looking in the mirror?
- I haven’t always been. During my junior and senior year of college I struggled with looking in the mirror and even when I was younger I didn’t particularly enjoy looking in a mirror so I carried the habit of avoiding mirrors through my adulthood (unless I HAD to). It took a professor of mine to make it a habit of me having to look in a mirror while exercising to watch my form and technique — before I could do it at the gym & it not bother me. At the time, it was due to my weight gain that I avoided the mirrors and didn’t particularly enjoy seeing myself in the mirror because it was like a constant reminder that I looked gross. I had never had weight issues growing up — always been healthy and lean / so when this happened it terrified me and angered me and gave me anxiety and made me more self conscious about my appearance overall. Now, I have my days where I avoid the mirror in general besides when lifting out of habit when I don’t feel or look the best (but doesn’t have much to do with my body) more so, my overall appearance & I don’t like looking at myself in the fitting room mirrors [[ never have]] because they all differ and many times give me a bad perception of how I look compared to how I feel.
I have never been comfortable looking in a mirror, so now that I feel more comfortable doing so when I need to or when lifting at the gym, I feel I have come a long way from that fear — and it shows my growth and trying to overcome an obstacle of self worth.
What big change would you like to make to your life?
My level of success is everything I want to do in life and how far I want to go in making myself more successful financially, mentally, physically and spiritually — with a good balance of challenges and risk but all in making me a better person each step of the way.