365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.19.19

Day 60

Have you ever loved somebody who didn’t love you back? How did that make you feel?

  • Yes, I have. It made me feel very lowly about myself, I felt stupid and confused. It hurt a lot, because I assumed this person loved me when they told me, but their actions were different and I chose to ignore the red flags because of how much I cared for this person. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & emotions

2.23.19

Day 55

What helps you to heal?

  • Being able to find a way to move forward and not having to rethink about the pain/hurt. I find that time helps me to move forward but allows me to remember and so I can’t always agree that time heals. Laying in total darkness in silence or listening to sad music doesn’t make everything but helps to get my emotions out and crying is relieving in a sense it that it helps to put me to sleep. I need space alone when I am healing, I don’t particularly want to be crowed on or have tons of attention — I like my seclusion and battling things on my own. 
What helps you to heal? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: feelings & Emotions

02.20.19

Day 52

How do you deal with emotional pain?

  • I’d say not very well, but better? I typically close off people and activities I enjoy, I don’t like being around others when I am dealing with emotional pain & I tend to be more annoyed than usual & wanting to be in total seclusion in my room with the possibility of sad music in the background. 
How do you deal with emotional pain? Leave answers in comments. 

365 Day Self Discovery Challenge — Day Two

Yesterday’s question

This question is from yesterday, and I apologize ahead of time for not posting it yesterday online (I did answer it in my journal yesterday) — time got away from me and didn’t have time to log on and post it on the blog. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Well for beginners, there is many things I don’t like about myself —- not as a form of self hatred but being observant of the flaws I hold that can and/cannot be changed. For this particular question, I answered it with honesty but in knowing that it is something that can be changed and worked on to better improve myself. Many of you may be able to relate or might have been able to at some point in your life — and hopefully no longer hold this flaw or are in the works of improving it so that it doesn’t hold you hostage. 

  • I would change the fact that I am hot tempered — quick to get enraged or frustrated. I never really accepted this trait previous to this question because I don’t like having to recognize that this could be an issue and one that forbids me of good relationships and lacks maturity. I cannot deny that there have been many times I have been quick to be offended and spoke out & ended up hurting someone’s feelings due to not thinking before I speak & simply speaking with anger rather than with a calm mind. I have been hot tempered all my life, some years have been worse than others, and now it isn’t as much of an issue until it is. I don’t necessarily find myself physically violent towards people, I just have a quick tongue that will do damage because my rage is speaking on my behalf & it has caused friendships to plummet & even my own family has had to endure it — my mom being the #1 person due to her being even more hot tempered than myself and us clashing when we argue. If you haven’t seen a fire show up close, watch us fight with words and venom and it gets heated fairly quickly. 0-100. I am not proud of my past and how I have chosen to handle most situations (although some of them gave me a reason to be angry and I don’t regret sticking up for myself when need be) — we are human, but this doesn’t excuse my behavior when I get worked up, I need to find better coping methods and better forms of handling my anger so I don’t lose out on people that mean to me. Growing up it was normally with my brother having to prove myself with him and feeling as though it never settled at just words, it would eventually lead to physical confrontations because I wasn’t thinking rationally & many times it even ended up being the same way with my mom as well, the fight, it was never worth it when finished, but in the beginning, it was like the adrenaline got the best of me every time. In relationships I have never been physically violent towards the ones I am dating or friends with, but I have yelled and got cocky, snarky, and said very demeaning things in place of it, and i can’t say it ever ended well — not necessarily in break ups but I am sure it left them in fear or feeling overwhelmed with how to handle the situation. Hell, I would always apologize afterwards during the calm down phase after ‘walking away’ or shutting down — and staying silent, that was my way of letting the person know I was finished with the discussion until I was good and ready to speak on it again. It’s not fair and I felt as though I was being abusive with my words towards them, and all they could do was just take it, take it and try to stay strong & maybe put up a argument back but end up giving up because they couldn’t get through to me because I was in the ‘red’ ; the I don’t give a fuck phase. 

I apologize for the pain that I may have caused some to feel due to my anger and lashing out without thinking things through, I have gotten better at holding my tongue and not jumping into each situation with fist pumping — way better but not yet perfect. It will take me time to completely allow myself to surrender those traits but it is something that is very important for me to do. All this being said, I still need enough fight in me for when I need to defend myself or stand up for myself or use my voice when it calls for it, because I don’t want to be weak & growing up when I didn’t stand up for myself — my mom would yell and punish me, she would be disappointed and expect me to handle things the way she had or/ would have. I wasn’t confrontational with people, I never have been, I don’t like it/ it makes me feel uncomfortable & I think many times this is why I lash out the way I do because it was instilled in me to have a backbone & that the walking away and allowing stuff to happen was the weak way of handling things. I never found the healthy balance, it was either being walked on or walking on others right back — and I acknowledge there is much better process than either one of these, sometimes a still tongue goes further than a talking mouth. Truth be told, my anger isn’t bad, my choice to allow it to control my emotions when I am feeling overwhelmed and scared of the confrontation is bad. It’s used as my armor & to prevent me from being vulnerable and walked on, but in the end it also causes me deep regret later on. Learning this, I am happy I can admit this flaw & make it a goal to improve, I am happy with how far I’ve come now with it, but I want to make it a conscious effort each time a situation arises. These days, my first line of defense is to seek out answers with a calm level headed mind & to step away when things don’t pan out the way I had planned so that I can avoid blowing up. I hope many of you with this same trait has found a way to postpone it so that you can think things through beforehand — it is worth it. 

I thank all of you for reading and choosing to be apart of my self discovery challenge. Please take the time to answer this question for yourself; either in a post or privately and come up with a solution — think about how this particular trait or attribute hinders you or how it makes other people feel. It’s never easy to speak on our flaws because people assume we are dangerous or damaged or no good, but that’s not it, people can change if they choose to and want to, they have to be willing to find a better path, to search for answers for their pain and use it to improve themselves and grow. Now all of our flaws will be able to change, but the ones that we can, that hold negativity, should be something we work towards bettering. 

Shay-lon

Been Gone for awhile

If any of you follow me on social media, you are probably aware that I had a really downward spire rough week & avoided contact with social media, friends, family, etc. I won’t get into specifics, but I have been gone for quite a while (due to circumstances) happening in my life that came unplanned and unwanted — Today is my first day back on the blog & social media in “full swing” again. The past week or so hasn’t been easy and honestly, it is only because of prayer and having the courage to get back up again when I felt dark that I am even able to write about it. Naturally, sometimes circumstances give you a chance to look at yourself with more clarity and find ways to focus on self healing, self discovery and possibly rely on some form of spiritual sense. Well as cliche as it might sound, that’s exactly what this situation left me to do besides laying in bed all day with no motivation and no drive to talk or be apart of life’s endeavors — I have decided to take on some books that hopefully will be a positive force within my life and future & I have started meditation once more, hopefully sticking with it this time, I am going to take some steps to help myself journal my self discovery and really dive into myself & try to make myself happy with what I plan on doing. It will be some steps and quite the voyage, but I feel it will be worth it. 

I pretty much will be going back to my normal routine but with some added bonuses to my daily lifestyle & my main focus will be building myself emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally while building my career as a Personal Trainer. I know I have been back and forth with a schedule that works for my readers so that I stay more consistent with blogging & I plan on doing that as well (coming up with a schedule) and now that my mind is less overwhelmed, I will surely do this and let people know what will be happening with the blog(s). I have many topics but I have been working on a personal website for my business, and I plan on blogging there as well, so I want to leave many topics for that particular website when it gets finished up (& yes some topics will be from this blog as well/perhaps with a new frame of mind) I need to find a way to keep myself accountable with the self discovery and meditation — so I may decide to take part in a challenge for a year or use the blog to keep me on the right path (we shall see). I will be using a journal to document my daily thoughts, emotions, the agenda and events — good and bad to keep me aware of myself. Hopefully in the end, this is something that will help to heal and build me with a new form of appreciation for myself. 

I currently downloaded a meditation app that I have been doing for the past 4 days & it has been wonderful; if anyone wants information on it, feel free to ask, maybe we can connect. Outside of that, I will be back on social media tomorrow to reply and show support — I appreciate all of you whom have been nothing but a great positive force within my blog career and life. Much appreciated and looking forward to speaking soon!

P.S I don’t have a consistent plan/routine yet for my self healing or self discovery yet, so if you have nay books, any journals or articles (whatever resource) that you would recommend, feel free to leave it in the comments, as it would bring me great joy to further my research and find a way that works best for me through your help.

Shay-lon 

Fucked Around With Deadlifts & Got hurt

So I have three videos to show everyone & will drop the links below. One will be my 300 lb deadlift fail, another will be my 295 complete and the final one will be my 245 lb for 3 reps —

Today I was aiming to hit 300 lb and well, I tried it over 20 times over (without adequate resting between sets and aggressively toward the end) to the point where I ended up hurting one side of my lower back/upper hip. Normally I am really good about NOT injuring myself, but today neglected to pay attention to my body and it happened. I could not continue on with the rest of my workout today due to the pain, so hopefully it is only a pulled muscle, a lesson learnt and i’ll be back to lifting normally between tomorrow and Thursday! otherwise, I am doing well for the most part. 

 
 
  • Conventional deadlift: 3 x 5, 3, 1
  1. 75% of 90% of 1-RM: 195 lb, 3 x 5
  2. 85% of 90% of 1-RM: 220 lb, 3 x 3
  3. 95% of 90% of 1-RM: 245 lb, 3 x 1+, 3 max reps
  4. 1 x 1, 295 lb (completed)
  5. 1 x 1, 300 lb (failed attempt)

300 lb deadlift fail video —- > Failed attempt

295 lb one rep completed lifted ——> 295 lb lift

245 lb for 3 reps —- > 245 lb lifting

Groin Pull/Groin Strain (Injury/injury prevention)

This post is not meant to be inappropriate, because groin injuries have happened to some people and are common with most contact sports. 

 

Groin pull? 

Also known as ‘groin strain” , is a tear/rupture to the to any of the adductor muscles resulting pain in the inner thigh. Range from mild to very severe. 

 

Causes: 

 
  • Known to occur when sprinting or changing direction quickly
  • during rapid movements of the leg against resistance 
  • over stretching the muscle
  • having weak adductor muscles
  • not warming up properly
  • tight adductor muscles
  • previous injury to that particular area
  • sometimes lower back injuries can contribute to this injury as well

Symptoms:

  • Sharp pain in the groin area
  • swelling
  • discomfort
  • bruising 

symptoms depend on the severity of the injury.

 

Treatment:

  • Protect the area, ice it, rest it, compress it, and elevate it if possible
  • wearing a groin support can be helpful 
  • sports massage could be useful after 72 hours
  • electrotherapy by medical doctors is said to help the healing process

Every case is on an individualized basis, so make sure to contact your medical professional for further information/help

 

Have you experienced a groin pull, how long did it take to heal? what procedure did you use to help the healing process – leave answers in the comment section. 

If you enjoyed the post, like, comment, share and follow!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo