365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 99

12.10.18

Are there parts of your life that you find distracting?

  • For awhile, having had gone through a break up with my ex, and losing out on a friendship was distracting me from progressing in terms of my goals and focusing on priorities. Now, between potentially losing out on another friendship and having dealt with work drama over and over again at this job (not the gym) this doesn’t necessarily distract me unless I am in the environment, but it does annoy me quite a bit. Outside of those things, I don’t really have many parts of my life that serve as distractions currently.

Do you find any part(s) of your life distracting, now or in the past?

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When Drama comes starts knocking, I leave the door closed

Good drama, is a poor excuse to have drama

Ya know what I have come to realize, that some people need drama to thrive on friendships, need drama to feel a purpose and rely on drama to gain some of kind insight on other people’s lives — me on the other hand, I don’t need it nor want it and I delete it as soon as it forms. 

Having been much younger once, I knew what drama could produce at an early age, and had my share of people’s bullshit and wanting to be apart of heavy gossip in hopes it would give me kudo points for being on the same side as others. Let’s face it, in grade school and some of high school, drama formed so often that when you think you dodged a bullet, it just meant another person had room to attempt the same scheme. I’d like to say with age came wisdom and learning from former mistakes and choosing to focus on more important things rather than other people’s business BUT, can’t say it meant drama would cease to appear in my life, nope, drama was still around and for good reason, because without it, meant I had little to no friends. Yet, you start to realize drama creates chaos and chaos invites itself in your life when you are most vulnerable or weak minded. In order to rid of chaos, you learn you have to make sacrifices that aren’t easy but will payoff (doesn’t seem that way at first) but in time it does payoff. 

For me, in order to live a drama free lifestyle, I had to rid the people I surrounded myself with that were bad blood and carried negative vibes — wasn’t easy until I started to see how it hindered my growth financially, mentally, educationally, and physically. Here I am YEARS later, without an ounce of drama to my name & the drama that might have tried to seep into my life, I ignored it or shut it down, & gave it no attention unless it was something that needed to be talked about in order to move on from. Otherwise, when drama comes knocking, I leave the door closed. Now drama normally is equated with gossip and I don’t particularly love hearing gossip, especially since I have learned and matured enough to make up my own opinions of other people once I get to know them vs believing everything someone else tells me (I always “consider my sources”) which means whatever someone tells me about another person, I take with a grain of salt until it has been proven / else I make my own judgement based on how the person treats me personally & if I am being honest, what someone does in their free time isn’t my business unless it effects me or somebody I care/love. Case closed.

Another form of drama is in relationships & I suppose those are much harder to shut down, because I assume we love the person we are dating & so this makes things more complicated BUT I found the best way to prevent drama from forming in your relationships is understanding the person’s character before putting yourself in a relationship with the person and really thinking about if the person is compatible with you. Good looks don’t mean the person has a solid character and just because he/she gives to charity doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t gossip.. so this is where being superficial can harm the future of your relationship. I believe it takes time & you and only you know what you need out of a person in order to have a successful relationship and so you need to make good decisions to have good outcomes. Not saying a relationship will be perfect but when the time comes and drama shows up at your front door during your relationship — the goal is for both parties to find a solution together that doesn’t burden the relationship or person/people within it. That’s the goal — easier said than done. 

Third form of drama is when you allow it to change your character in order to keep your popularity or friends. I think this is one of the worst forms because it really has a way of biting you in the ass if you don’t pay mind to it. I had to learn that popularity and having the most votes doesn’t mean anything if I have to change myself in order to be accepted among the majority. Nobody likes being an outcast/different, but sometimes being the unique one makes for a better character and a longevity of true friendships. Doesn’t mean you will win an Oscar , but it could mean you earn a good reputation. 

You learn that drama will happen, and continue to happen and that some forms of drama can be ignored and other forms need to be dealt with in order to make it disappear or prevent it from causing further chaos. I have had people say there is good drama, but good drama isn’t drama – it is reward, inspiration, blessings, and positive vibes & it doesn’t create chaos, but creates wisdom, happiness, triumphs, and builds good character. The good drama people speak of is: congrats, birthdays, holiday greetings marriage/newly weds , pregnancy, anniversaries, good health, promotions, compliments, good counsel, good deeds, and love. These are forms of drama that help uplift, motivate and give people a reason to smile — 

“Good drama doesn’t exist, it is purely a person with good intentions looking to give someone a reason to be happy” – Shay-lon Moss

 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 91

12.02.18

Do you find it easy to feel empathy towards others?

  • Yes, this has always been easy for me growing up. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 87

11.28.18

What would you like to do less of?

  • Less working (make a passive income)
  • less thinking/worrying about what others think of me
  • less self doubting myself
  • less negative thinking towards my body image
  • less time on dating sites/social media and more time going out among other people and talking to people 
  • less of arguing with my mom

What do you want to do less of? leave comments, follow, share and like! 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 84

11.25.18

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

  • I consider myself a little bit of both, but mostly an extrovert by nature (when I know someone well enough). The introvert side of me, is due to my social anxiety — I love being sociable & consider myself very outgoing and adventurous but sometimes my social anxiety gets the best of me and hinders me & I’m less likely to talk, less outgoing in fear of what people may think of me or due to the environment/or uncomfortable situation & many times the feeling of being overwhelmed triggers my anxiety as well (overwhelmed by the number of people, the feeling of not belonging, or feeling as though everyone is paying exceptional attention to me because I stick out). As an extrovert, I challenge my introverted side by doing things with friends and learning to do things on my own so that I can depend on me & feel comfortable in my own space without having to feel as though I need someone in order to do something. 

How many of my readers are introverts? How many of you are extroverts? are you a mixture of both, why?

365 Days of self discovery: Day 72

11.13.18

What makes you uncomfortable?

  • I will list a few things that come to mind:
  1. Confrontation
  2. Listening to people/ having people talk to me about their sexual experiences in detail 
  3. When men flirt with me, expecting something in return (especially if I don’t know them)
  4. Being stared at
  5. shopping during busy store hours
  6. using public restrooms when other patrons are in the bathroom with me
  7. having heard/listen to people slander me or talk badly about me indirectly, talking to someone else or under their breath
  8. Getting undressed and dressed in locker rooms among other people or women
  9. period cramps
  10. Having to walk in not well lit parking lots
  11. being in a financial hardship
  12. going to parties where I don’t know the area or guest
  13. driving long distances in the dark
  14. feeling bloated
  15. having to hold my bladder due to being in conversation and afraid to excuse myself
  16. some form of compliments depending on the person giving it
I am sure many of you may be able to relate to some of the things I listed, but what about things I haven’t, what makes you uncomfortable? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 70

11.11.18

When was the last time you did something spontaneous and how did it make you feel?

  • It has been a couple of years back & at the time it made be both nervous and excited. It involved traveling, staying in a hotel and venturing a big city on my own for a whole weekend. My reason was because I wanted to test myself and anxiety and do something on my own to help pull me out of my comfort level. Since then, I haven’t done anything that I would render spontaneous but there have been times I have wanted to, and there will be a time I do something like this again, I am sure of it.

How many of you have ever done something spontaneous, when was the last time, is this something you make a habit for yourself? Express your feelings in the comments, and don’t forget to follow, share and like!