365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

5.21.19

Day 41

What are your personal goals?

  • Work on my social anxiety
  • work on building my self worth/confidence
  • travel on my own
  • lose weight (10-15 lbs)
  • build solid relationships with both my siblings that continue to be positive and allow us to stay close
  • learn to forgive myself and others
  • learn to stand up for myself when need be and voice my opinions openly without fear of what others may think or say
I’d say I have more than what is listed, but I think primarily these listed are some of the important ones for now. 
What are your personal goals? 
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My BLOGVERSARY! *2018

Another Year & I am Still Here.

 

What can I say, still here another year writing and sharing pieces of me that hopefully one day either develop into a story or starts a business where people can’t wait to read what I have to say because it will be something people will want to hear daily. Blogging is second nature to everything else I know, I didn’t start blogging with any idea of how far I could possibly go, or how far I would come — it was just my way to get my health/fitness business started, a way to ignite the important of fitness/health & a host to all my information. For awhile I started going through a couple of my old pieces of writing where the passion was fire and the likes were little to none, and started to read each month & seen the increase of readers, comments, likes, and the amount of post I would do within a day just to make sure I was doing “enough” — by your standards and mine. I started blogging with so little information and no guide, naturally I was having to do this by researching and asking other blogger’s questions (didn’t always help) but there were a few who were helpful and lead me in the right direction. By the time I stepped into my first post, I wrote something and hoped for the best outcome. Took a long time for the best outcome to happen, but it did and it has been growing since then, not as fast but steady and still maintaining some of the same faces who followed me in the beginning are still following me now, it’s wonderful! Blogging has been a magical experience with its good and bad days, and many days I thought about taking long breaks and giving up due to the pressure of my stats not doing so well, but then I seen the way it opened up other outlets (affiliates, marketing, guest post, friendships, mentors, writing for companies/editors, etc) it was worth staying to learn and grow more, it was worth seeing my stats at an all time low in order to prove that it could once more be great, once more be worthy of a following & it was worth watching myself develop as a writer and person through blogging. 

You see blogging wasn’t just for entertainment and for business reasons, it was for personal reasons, I didn’t think I could find an outlet that allowed me to speak to people in the form of writing without fear of what others may think — I don’t speak about my feelings as well as others, and so when I started writing, everything that was on my mind; I allowed it to flow onto the screen and I didn’t look back after hitting “publish” — it was my way of opening up to myself just as this 365 days of self discovery has been. If you take the time to look back on my writing, you will see where the topics have changed, the amount of post a day have changed and my voice within my pieces have stayed the same — because my voice is what captured people, it was the difference between me and the next person writing about the same topic (as yours is unique as well). The foundation of my writing comes from the wonderful readers/writers whom I follow and have continued to be supportive of me as well, they are what sparked these changes in my writing, what helped me to keep going many times, and have been the reason for many of my accomplishments at one point. I owe many thanks to many bloggers who have been more than just a daily reader, but more of a companion & an overseas friend. I couldn’t possibly list them all, because this post would never have an ending but special thanks to:

 

Jim, Ty, PooGja, James, Brad, Bella  — these six have always been wonderful to have, no matter where I land, & no matter how much I slack, they still seem to be around when I come back. Thank you! I appreciate you & I appreciate anyone else whom I did not name, don’t feel left out, because  I recognize new and old followers alike — and I cherish every moment it has created for me and memory I can keep. 

#CheersToManyMoreYears #StillIRise #Shay-lonMoss

I have Social Anxiety (Mental Health Awareness)

I will be first in line to admit that I have social anxiety (I believe I have mentioned this many times before) and while many people are in shock when I tell them this, because I come off outgoing and very talkative – this doesn’t mean anything, just means I mask it fairly well – not to mention, if you don’t understand social anxiety and what it means, you might not know what to look for when I am put in situations where I react. Now with this being said, this post will be both informative and yet, I will speak from my own experience as well, so hopefully you enjoy stories and perspective. I will start with the basics, what does it mean to have “social anxiety”?

 

Social anxiety is fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people BUT,  it stems from having a fear or anxiety of being negatively judged or evaluated by other people. —- I have dealt with this fear ALL MY LIFE and it sucks because I wanted to be more like the ones who “don’t care what others think” but even when I try, I know deep down I still care (even when I play if off like I don’t) now with this being said, yes, there have been times where I literally do not give a shit about what others think of me, or how they perceive me, and that usually is when I am at the gym or grocery store because I just feel like I have built confidence in those scenarios/environments. Although if you put me inside a new gym or a grocery store in a different town or area, my social anxiety will kick in because it is a new surrounding with new faces and I don’t know how to handle it.. so I just freak out in my mind. For some people they avoid situations like so, but I have learned to force myself to step outside my comfort level and make myself intentionally uncomfortable in order to fight my anxiety. 

 

Now let’s discuss some of the symptoms & I’ll share which ones i have, if any:

 
  • Rapid heart beat- this is another one I experience
  • blushing or sweating- sweating is one for me
  • feeling of mind going blank – I have this one
  • makes little to no eye contact 
  • speaks with overly soft voice
  • self conscious in front of others, feeling of embarrassed or awkward – This one I have
  • Being very afraid that other people will judge them – this one I have
  • Stay away from places where there are other people

Now, as you can see, I have quite a few signs/symptoms and some people have more or less, and not every situation do all these sign/symptoms display themselves. I personally know another sign/symptom that people I have dated have noticed and even people I have talked to, I tend to ramble when I speak in a conversation with someone, especially if I am interested in someone, or if I don’t know how to end a conversation, or if my nerves are all over the place. I know my ex used to mention that I ramble a lot on and off the phone and she would make jokes about it and I knew that sometimes it was awkward but since that relationship, I have been trying to get better at catching myself ramble and doing it less often. I guess for me, it is really tough to not ramble, because it is my way of comforting my anxiety or “hiding” it, but when people notice and make light of it, it makes me feel a little discouraged at times or feel insecure or puts me in an awkward position where I don’t know what to do or how to handle it – and that just means I went from social anxiety to now I am upset with myself and feeling really embarrassed by my actions. None of my friends or family have ever made comments on my rambling and that might be because I don’t ramble with them .. it’s weird, but also I am comfortable with them. I never notice other’s with social anxiety, it goes over my head if someone does and they are talking to me, because I am so focused on my own response and reactions & trying to come off less awkward that if anything I just assume you are shy and nothing more. 

 

Another thing I have noticed is, depending on the person and type of compliment they give me, I tend to get weird and say quick thank yous without even looking in your direction or I am pleasant and want to connect with you and my thank you comes off more friendly. I handle compliments better coming from females vs males as well. For some reason, I have yet to ever be awkward with a female who compliments me, but when it comes to males, it happens often unless I am comfortable with the male figure. Growing up, it wasn’t always like this but as I got older, it started to make sense as to why (& we won’t get into that at this point) but regardless I love compliments but handle them differently depending the nature of them, the sex and how comfortable I am with that person. I have known both, people who are flattered by compliments and others who get really tense and don’t like them.   

 

Causes:

There is NO one cause of it, but many factors that can lead to one possibly having social anxiety – but doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to get it just because you happen to have these issues but the chances could be greater. 

My mom has social anxiety and her’s is worse than mine, I would say, but she reacts to it differently than I do, on the other hand both of my younger siblings don’t seem to have it from the outside looking in, but I am not a professional so I wouldn’t actually know if they did unless they told me – so families can carry this trait. 

Misreading people’s behaviors toward you can be another cause of social anxiety- and I think I am decent at reading people, but I do tend to over analyze at times.

Underdeveloped social skills – this is a possible cause for myself. Growing up, I had friends but I was always the awkward duck, I didn’t know how to properly interact with others and not feel like an outcast and I think because I lacked some self confidence at times, I was always doing weird shit or saying weird random shit that in my mind was my way of trying to fit in but in reality was probably causing people to think I was weird or pushing people away. I developed a more comical personality in order to handle social situations and instead would always be the class clown and make people laugh and that is how I combated my own issues. 

 

As far as treatment goes, I never saw a professional for it, never had therapy or medication for it, and I refuse to go that far for myself because I think I have more of a handle on it now than I did in the past and I don’t feel like mine is very severe compared to other cases. I have learned to mask some of it, in order to push through and I have learned that if I force myself to confront my anxiety by stepping outside my comfort zone, it helps to build my confidence and encourages me to find ways to manage it better. For example, last year and previous years, I would go to Columbus here in Ohio for a weekend and stay in a hotel by myself and explore the city – downtown area, just walk and explore the stores, bars, etc all alone and  by doing that, I met people, I learned to find my own way and to handle situations that would make me uncomfortable and I loved doing that. This year, I went to a bar in my town alone, and the first time it went well, but the second time it went horribly and so I haven’t done it since then but I might consider doing it again at a different point in my life. My new goals to battle my social anxiety is to attend a movie alone and to eat at a restaurant alone because I am so used to doing them both with friends or family, so I want to step outside my comfort zone and do them by myself – also, I would like to attend a concert by myself and would love to drive out of town by myself again and explore another area .. so those are all goals to help me. 

 

I would love to hear from all of you with social anxiety, speak on what helps you, or try one of these ways of coping and let me know if it worked. If you enjoyed this post, like, comment, share and follow! 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 
 

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Mental health awarenesss

Welcome back bloggers to another mental health Thursday post! I hope all of you have been enjoying my mental health Thursday post, raising awareness on mental health and making it less of an omen & giving understanding. I am not sure if any of you have heard of PTSD, but if you have, you probably have commonly heard war veterans speak on it — but it isn’t exclusively happening to just war veterans but also the general population as well. I know someone personally who has PTSD, hell, I probably know more than a couple of people and each of them handle it differently and have different reasons as to why they have it. I won’t discuss their stories because that is private information but if anyone wants to leave in the comments or email me their own experience, that is fine, otherwise I don’t expect people to be as open about their experiences because it becomes really personal. 

 

Now keep in mind, all my information about PTSD does NOT mean that it is the same for everyone, everyone is an individual case so treat my answers as such. If you know someone who has PTSD, I am either hoping this will help give you insight, possible understanding and perhaps help you have a better handle on things because I dated someone who allegedly had PTSD (wasn’t brought to my attention until the break up) and the way they explained it, they couldn’t but I could tell something wasn’t right at the time with this person and while they never did get a diagnosis; they figured they did enough research to narrow it down to PTSD — I wish I could have known sooner because maybe it wouldn’t have been too late to look into handling a relationship with someone with possible PTSD but with that being said, many spouses who live with someone with this condition, it can sometimes be stressful and very exhausting if you don’t understand or if you are feeling abandoned, it is never easy to put your foot into someone else’s shoes if you have never experienced what they have experienced and while we sympathize with them, it doesn’t mean we have a hold on the issue at hand – because sometimes we don’t, sometimes we find ourselves thinking we ‘got it’ just to find out we we’re way wrong, and that’s okay because we are only human. 

 

What is PTSD?

 
  • Failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event 

Not everyone with PTSD has gone through a painful event – losing a loved one can also cause this to happen. 

Symptoms

  • Flashbacks/reliving the event (nightmares, etc)
  • scary thoughts
  • Avoiding places, or situations that remind you of the event
  • Might have more negative beliefs or feelings
  • hyperarousal
  • feelings of hopelessness, shame or dispair
  • possible drinking or drug issues
  • employment issues may occur
  • relationship issues may occur
  • depression 
  • anxiety
  • many of the symptoms depending on the severity could lead to suicide.. 

Children with PTSD

  • Might experience bed wetting habits
  • Forgetting how to or being unable to talk
  • Acting out the event during playtime
  • Could be unusually clingy to a parent or other adult
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Act out the event through drawings 
  • Could become more irritable or aggressive
  • Might have problems with friends, or school work
  • might try to avoid going to school
  • depression as they get older
  • anxiety
  • withdrawal or possible reckless behavior as they get older

Risk Factors

PTSD can happen at any age! 

  • war veterans
  • sexual abuse
  • physical abuse
  • loss of a loved one
  • witnessing a dangerous event happen to a loved one
  • childhood trauma
  • having a history of mental illness
  • having little to no social support after the event
  • Stress after the event can make PTSD more likely

With this being said, PTSD can occur soon after the event or take months to years before it triggers & it can come and go. Again, everyone is different. 

 

Treatment:

  • Psychotherapy for PTSD
  • Medications

The ONE thing is for sure, we always want to push people to ask for help, but sometimes that person doesn’t always realize they have an actual issue and some people live in denial. You can offer help, but doesn’t mean they will take it. I once told somebody: “getting help seems easy to do coming from people from the outside looking in, but for me, it is letting go of my pride, being vulnerable and accepting it and that’s just not easy to do” so take that how you will, but in knowing my own situation, my anxiety and how it hinders me sometimes – that’s how I feel about things, hints why I have never sought out help BUT don’t do as I do, do what works best for you, and your circumstances because help is important in order to better handle things sometimes. I will mention, my anxiety is A LOT better than where it used to be but it probably would have saved me a whole hell of lot more to seek help back when. It’s never too late to ask for help or seek a professional, so don’t give up on yourself. 

 

P.S I will always be honest with my readers about how I handled my own mental health issues and break downs, etc and I will be the FIRST person to say, I don’t seek professional help for things I go through, because I just deal with it & sometimes I pay a hell of a lot of consequences and sometimes I come out okay, but regardless, my pride and stubbornness gets the best of me,  and that’s why I am a bad example , lol 

 

Hope all of you have enjoyed this post, be sure to like, comment,share and follow!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 

The Unique Blogger Award

Thank you dear friend PoojaG for nominating me for this particular blogger award. I apologize ahead of time for being late in posting this – but I have been MIA and didn’t know when I would be returning until I had things figured out. I appreciate your patience and friendship during all of this. I enjoyed your post and congrats on being nominated as well for this award! I am so happy for you and all that you have written since following your blog and hope it continues to flourish! 😀 please feel free to check out her blog page, it is full of inspiration! 

The rules:
  • Share the link to the blogger who has shown love to you by nominating you.
  • Answer the questions.
  • In the spirit of sharing love and solidarity with our blogging family, nominate 15 people and notify them.
  • Ask them three questions.

1.What (or who) inspired you to get into blogging? Well for starters it was my college professor at the time who mentioned blogging to me. 

2. Describe your ideal three-course meal? Honestly this can shift depending on my mood and what sounds good at the time. For now, I would say four tacos, some mexican rice, and refried beans 🙂 Yum!

3. Would you consider naming any future children after fictional characters, if so which characters? Well considering I don’t plan on having children anytime soon .. I don’t know but if it should happen, it wouldn’t be a horrible idea. 

My Nominees Are:

https://onebigstressball.wordpress.com/

natalie

https://sharonmadonna.wordpress.com/

betchadidntknowthis

https://lifeofamedschoolwife.com/

https://niccimcshane.com/

https://hisperfecttiming.blog/

https://www.jessekerema.com/

https://lexieanimetravel.wordpress.com/

https://nadiahsrodanandfields.com/

https://athomaspointofview.com/

https://gypsybus28.com/

https://ochonia.wordpress.com/

https://for-fitness-sake.com/

https://secretartexpedition.wordpress.com/

Answer the same three questions! Thank you!

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon

The A-Z Tag

I will thank PoojaG for nominating me for this particular activity, I have not done this before and found it to be quite interesting & a creative way to get to know someone. This definitely will challenge me because I am scared of what to think of when I get to letters I hardly use on a daily basis, but should be fun! Check out PoojaG blog for more encouraging words and inspirations.

A – Athletic (always have been involved in sports and love anything to do with fitness)

B- Bold ( I tend to make bold statements sometimes, never one to beat behind the bush most days)

C- Charismatic (my personality, I have had people tell me) 

D- Determined ( I go for things I want)

E- Emotional, I can be sometimes..

F – Fun, I am definitely fun to be around

G- Goofy  (constantly)

H- Humble ( I don’t think too highly of myself or my life)

I- Imaginative ( I always have very creative thoughts and ideas)

J- jesting

K- Kindhearted

L- Loving & Loyal

M- Mature ( I like to think I am when the time comes)

N- neat (very)

O- Organized, I always try to be and prefer to be

P- Patient ( I have always been somewhat of a patient person, some days are harder than others)

Q- Quick 

R- Realistic – I try to be realistic about things so I don’t get my feelings hurt 

S- Sexual (only when the time calls for it) but hey not afraid to admit it lol

T- Tactful, I take people’s feelings into consideration before acting on something

U- Unique (aren’t we all?)

V- Versatile

W- Wakeful ( I sleep very light so can be easily disturbed when sleeping)

X- xenodochial ( I am friendly to strangers as long as they don’t come off to creepy or make me feel uncomfortable)

Y- Young; some might say I am 

Z- Zealous 

My Nominees Are:

grevisangel73

Sarahlivelovelift

thesweetlifeofme

Bella

joesimmonsjr

Feel free to like, comment, share and follow 🙂 thank you!

 

 

 

Liebster Award 2017

I was nominated for this wonderful award once again, I love getting this award because it brings back memories for when I had first started my blog page and received this award, I felt on top of the world. I have been nominated for this same award many times by different people and have been thankful for all of them. For some, this award is just another award, but for me, it is your way of letting me know “Shay you are doing good, keep it up” and motivates me to keep going! I am so very grateful that jbrobinblog had decided to nominate me. She is wonderful and I follow her on #Instagram (she follows me too), her pictures are always wonderful, while mine are always lame. LOL. One day I will be cool. Her blog is associated with health and wellness as well as her own adventures she takes. Her Instagram is positive and gives you an inside look at her life and adventures, if you haven’t already followed her, you should! Definitely a must read blogger 😀 P.S if you check out her Liebster blog award post, it shows a picture of me at the gym (inside the locker room) just in case anyone wants to see my hard work 😛

I feel very honored to be nominated for the Liebster award; The Liebster Award is an award that is given to bloggers by bloggers. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The award is a way to be discovered, to connect and support other bloggers within the blogging community. Originally it was given out to blogs with less than 2000 readers but this has slowly lowed as the reward has gained popularity. It is now only 200 readers or less.

Its a great way you get new and up and coming Bloggers a chance to be seen and discovered!

My Questions given to me by jbrobinblog:

  1. What is the most extreme thing you have ever done? Hm, I don’t know if I have ever done anything too extreme, but I would have to say is climb up a 500 ft tower when I was in middle school. That was pretty extreme to me then. 
  2. If you can take someone with you in your travels, who would it be? Either my best friend, or possibly my youngest brother (he is 8) but him and I are close. My other brother would probably decline the travel with me, (he is 21) 
  3. What is the scariest thing you have experience while traveling? Crossing really HUGE bridges that make me think I may not live driving over it. 
  4. If you could give someone a 1,000,000 dollars, who would you give it to? Is it bad, I would keep it for myself? lol. Fine, I will be nice and share it among my mom and siblings.. jeez. I might even give the dog some money 😛
  5. What inspires you the most, to do what you do everyday? Being alive and able. 
  6. Do you find it hard to stay motivated & stick with exercise routines everyday? Honest answer: no. I love what I do inside the gym, some days are not always great and those days really test my mental state and challenge me to keep going. 
  7. What is your most constant rule you believe to stick to? “If I don’t give it my all, I don’t deserve the prize”  (yes, I did just make this one up)
  8. Do you feel it is important to have a routine? Yes, routines keep me grounded. 
  9. If you could quit your job and do anything, what would you do/where would you go? Oh goodness, where do I get started. I would move to a bigger city, become a really popular trainer in the area, train celebs and travel to different locations helping people get in shape, I would be the next mogul of fitness. I would be the name you think of when you think of health/fitness. Yep, that is what I want to accomplish 🙂 Also, I would be such a GREAT athlete, that I would make it to the CrossFit games and olympics, all in one year! hahaha. That would be pretty amazing. 
  10. Do you think education as it is today, does justice to life and learning? An interesting question, I think education today has changed quite a bit since I have been a student. I am not sure what to think of our educational system much anymore. I think education gives people a running head start but it fails to give people the real life experience they need in order to make it in this world. 

What to Do if  Nominated for the Liebster Award:

Back in 2011 the rules were a simple case of acknowledgement of the nominator and to nominate 5 more. Now in 2017 it is a little more involved and will continue to evolve as blogging becomes more accessible.

If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you should do the follow:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
  1. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) go to The Global Aussie for a whole lot of images you can use for your 2017 Liebster Award.
  1. For the 2017 Liebster Award they will be shaking things up! Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.
  1. Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
  1. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)
  1. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here or simply link by to this post.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to: Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it.

My Favorite Blog to Read:

Okay so, since starting my blog there were people whom I connected with and others who I never had the chance to spend time talking to. this was a hard decision because I pretty based this on those that I had a conversation with and who were a huge supporter of my blog when I first got started. I would like to mention there were plenty of you that could very well deserve this award from me, but I want to give this to someone who no longer blogs as of now but who I enjoyed speaking with and reading their work. Grant Norris. I know many of you probably didn’t the chance to connect with him but his blog was also a fitness blog, mostly about being a strongmen but also about other things that caught my attention. The reason I enjoyed this blog was because he was a young writer but making such huge sacrifices to be the best athlete he could be and I looked up to him in a way that inspired me to go after my dreams when it came to being an athlete.  If he was still around on the blogosphere, I think he would be would happy that I continued to write and would be excited that I granted me as my favorite blog to read. If you ever get the chance, stop over to his page and look at some of his post, they might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it was one of mine. Thank you Grant @ https://heavybarbell.com/ for being a great writer and giving the chance to talk to you on so many levels, you made me laugh more than most dude. 

My nominees will be: 

1ellen23

purplebutterfly964

ourglife

braddahr

strongbodyhealthymind

My Questions for my nominees:

  1. Have you ever lost passion for something you once loved doing, what was it and why?
  2. Was there ever a time you were scared enough that it made you cry? what was it?
  3. Do you think it is difficult to be an adult? why?
  4. How do you handle the days that bring you to your knees?(the really, really bad days)
  5. How would you spend 10.00 dollars if that was your last 10.00 dollars? 
  6. If time machines existed, would you use it?
  7. What do you think life exist outside the planet earth? – humans, aliens, animals.. etc
  8. What is Giant Spiders became reality (the movie 8 legged freaks)? 
  9. Which would be worse, watching someone you love die, or killing someone you love in order to save your own life?
  10. If you had the opportunity to be the next President of the United States, would you do it or not? and why? 

I’m very excited to see all your posts!

Shay-lon xoxoxo