365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.13.19

Day 54

What’s one thing do you wish someone would say to you?

  • “I am proud of you and how far you have come, the amount of growth you have shown and where you want to go in life. I want to continue to see you do wonderful things, follow your dreams, excel at whatever you choose to do & to always keep your head up and look ahead no matter the obstacles. The beauty you seek is within you, you just have to believe”. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

6.18.19

Day 29

Who do you look up to?

  • There used to be a time I would have a list of people whom I considered role models, including my mom because something about these people made me want to be more like them when I “grew up” but now, when this question comes my way, I don’t list names because I realized the type of people I look up to are those who 
  1. Have done something positive without looking to reap reward or an applause, something positive for others (small or big)
  2. someone who knows what it’s like to struggle for a duration of time; maybe even thought about throwing in the towel but instead of giving up, they managed to overcome their obstacles and make something of themselves & use their growth and journey as a way to teach others and inspire others and give people hope. 
  3. People who have impacted the world in a positive way
  4. those who have worked hard in order to reach success
  5. those who are realist — see the world for what it is and don’t sugar coat things 
  6. people who were against the odds with their back against the wall that continued to fight instead of made into a victim. 
  7. people who choose love over hate in any situation because that’s hard to do when you’ve been through some crap
  8. people who can forgive easily — I struggle with this a lot myself. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

5.10.19

Day 30

What difference would you make to the world?

  • A positive difference in the world. 

365 Days of self Discovery: Your Past

3.18.19

Day 11

What time in your life do you always want to remember?

  • I’d say all the good times. Specifically times I had with loved ones whom past away, the times I have had with old and new friends alike, the times I have spent with my siblings and mom. I’d like to remember the times I have triumphed and the times that I struggled but made it through, I want to remember all the positive that has entered my life and helped shaped me into a better person. There isn’t just one time I would like to remember, because I have had many good times in my life that I will cherish. 
Is there a specific time in your life that you want to always remember or are you like me and have more than one?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

2.04.19

Day 36

Do your emotions motivate you? Is this in a positive or negative way?

  • My emotions have motivated me in the past and sometimes still motivate me, I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me and had to suffer negative consequences due to my actions at the time but when my emotions are back up by determination, focus/drive, and serve as a purpose to humble me, or better myself — this ends up motivating me in a positive way. 
Are you the type of person whom allows their emotions to motivate them & does this work out in your favor, or no?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 101

12.12.18

How do you feel outside of your comfort zone? Do you see this as a positive or negative thing?

  • Because of my anxiety, being outside of my comfort zone makes me nervous, heightens my fear/anxiety at first but with time and depending on the situation my anxiety will decrease and nerves will calm. I personally enjoy pushing myself to be outside of my comfort zone because I need it in order to test myself and force myself to do something new and take on new experiences. Anxiety can hinder someone from taking risk, hinder the person from exploring something new that could be something good, hinder the person from meeting someone new, etc & because of this reason alone, I have to push myself and force myself to step outside the box in order to gain more insight, take more risk, meet more people and explore new places. 

Some of you may or may not suffer from anxiety, regardless, how do you feel when you are outside of your comfort zone & do you see it as a positive or negative thing? Leave answers in the comments, and don’t forget to share, like & follow for more self post. 

When Drama comes starts knocking, I leave the door closed

Good drama, is a poor excuse to have drama

Ya know what I have come to realize, that some people need drama to thrive on friendships, need drama to feel a purpose and rely on drama to gain some of kind insight on other people’s lives — me on the other hand, I don’t need it nor want it and I delete it as soon as it forms. 

Having been much younger once, I knew what drama could produce at an early age, and had my share of people’s bullshit and wanting to be apart of heavy gossip in hopes it would give me kudo points for being on the same side as others. Let’s face it, in grade school and some of high school, drama formed so often that when you think you dodged a bullet, it just meant another person had room to attempt the same scheme. I’d like to say with age came wisdom and learning from former mistakes and choosing to focus on more important things rather than other people’s business BUT, can’t say it meant drama would cease to appear in my life, nope, drama was still around and for good reason, because without it, meant I had little to no friends. Yet, you start to realize drama creates chaos and chaos invites itself in your life when you are most vulnerable or weak minded. In order to rid of chaos, you learn you have to make sacrifices that aren’t easy but will payoff (doesn’t seem that way at first) but in time it does payoff. 

For me, in order to live a drama free lifestyle, I had to rid the people I surrounded myself with that were bad blood and carried negative vibes — wasn’t easy until I started to see how it hindered my growth financially, mentally, educationally, and physically. Here I am YEARS later, without an ounce of drama to my name & the drama that might have tried to seep into my life, I ignored it or shut it down, & gave it no attention unless it was something that needed to be talked about in order to move on from. Otherwise, when drama comes knocking, I leave the door closed. Now drama normally is equated with gossip and I don’t particularly love hearing gossip, especially since I have learned and matured enough to make up my own opinions of other people once I get to know them vs believing everything someone else tells me (I always “consider my sources”) which means whatever someone tells me about another person, I take with a grain of salt until it has been proven / else I make my own judgement based on how the person treats me personally & if I am being honest, what someone does in their free time isn’t my business unless it effects me or somebody I care/love. Case closed.

Another form of drama is in relationships & I suppose those are much harder to shut down, because I assume we love the person we are dating & so this makes things more complicated BUT I found the best way to prevent drama from forming in your relationships is understanding the person’s character before putting yourself in a relationship with the person and really thinking about if the person is compatible with you. Good looks don’t mean the person has a solid character and just because he/she gives to charity doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t gossip.. so this is where being superficial can harm the future of your relationship. I believe it takes time & you and only you know what you need out of a person in order to have a successful relationship and so you need to make good decisions to have good outcomes. Not saying a relationship will be perfect but when the time comes and drama shows up at your front door during your relationship — the goal is for both parties to find a solution together that doesn’t burden the relationship or person/people within it. That’s the goal — easier said than done. 

Third form of drama is when you allow it to change your character in order to keep your popularity or friends. I think this is one of the worst forms because it really has a way of biting you in the ass if you don’t pay mind to it. I had to learn that popularity and having the most votes doesn’t mean anything if I have to change myself in order to be accepted among the majority. Nobody likes being an outcast/different, but sometimes being the unique one makes for a better character and a longevity of true friendships. Doesn’t mean you will win an Oscar , but it could mean you earn a good reputation. 

You learn that drama will happen, and continue to happen and that some forms of drama can be ignored and other forms need to be dealt with in order to make it disappear or prevent it from causing further chaos. I have had people say there is good drama, but good drama isn’t drama – it is reward, inspiration, blessings, and positive vibes & it doesn’t create chaos, but creates wisdom, happiness, triumphs, and builds good character. The good drama people speak of is: congrats, birthdays, holiday greetings marriage/newly weds , pregnancy, anniversaries, good health, promotions, compliments, good counsel, good deeds, and love. These are forms of drama that help uplift, motivate and give people a reason to smile — 

“Good drama doesn’t exist, it is purely a person with good intentions looking to give someone a reason to be happy” – Shay-lon Moss