Journey to health collab|Week 8|Relationships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO_T7DyQ9n8

This week we answer “Relationships, how has this changed for you” 

 

I failed to mention some things in this video, that I want to add now:

Along with having people in my life compliment my physique and overall progress, I have made new friendships because of this “health journey”, like-minded individuals who also love to lift and fitness. More so, I have taught myself to be more patient with my results, to accept some of the many flaws I see when I look in the mirror. My relationships prior to this particular progress in my body weren’t horrible to begin with so, I assumed most people would still be supportive even after. Thankfully, everyone in my circle has shown me kindness and love, both online and offline. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

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PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Mental health awarenesss

Welcome back bloggers to another mental health Thursday post! I hope all of you have been enjoying my mental health Thursday post, raising awareness on mental health and making it less of an omen & giving understanding. I am not sure if any of you have heard of PTSD, but if you have, you probably have commonly heard war veterans speak on it — but it isn’t exclusively happening to just war veterans but also the general population as well. I know someone personally who has PTSD, hell, I probably know more than a couple of people and each of them handle it differently and have different reasons as to why they have it. I won’t discuss their stories because that is private information but if anyone wants to leave in the comments or email me their own experience, that is fine, otherwise I don’t expect people to be as open about their experiences because it becomes really personal. 

 

Now keep in mind, all my information about PTSD does NOT mean that it is the same for everyone, everyone is an individual case so treat my answers as such. If you know someone who has PTSD, I am either hoping this will help give you insight, possible understanding and perhaps help you have a better handle on things because I dated someone who allegedly had PTSD (wasn’t brought to my attention until the break up) and the way they explained it, they couldn’t but I could tell something wasn’t right at the time with this person and while they never did get a diagnosis; they figured they did enough research to narrow it down to PTSD — I wish I could have known sooner because maybe it wouldn’t have been too late to look into handling a relationship with someone with possible PTSD but with that being said, many spouses who live with someone with this condition, it can sometimes be stressful and very exhausting if you don’t understand or if you are feeling abandoned, it is never easy to put your foot into someone else’s shoes if you have never experienced what they have experienced and while we sympathize with them, it doesn’t mean we have a hold on the issue at hand – because sometimes we don’t, sometimes we find ourselves thinking we ‘got it’ just to find out we we’re way wrong, and that’s okay because we are only human. 

 

What is PTSD?

 
  • Failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event 

Not everyone with PTSD has gone through a painful event – losing a loved one can also cause this to happen. 

Symptoms

  • Flashbacks/reliving the event (nightmares, etc)
  • scary thoughts
  • Avoiding places, or situations that remind you of the event
  • Might have more negative beliefs or feelings
  • hyperarousal
  • feelings of hopelessness, shame or dispair
  • possible drinking or drug issues
  • employment issues may occur
  • relationship issues may occur
  • depression 
  • anxiety
  • many of the symptoms depending on the severity could lead to suicide.. 

Children with PTSD

  • Might experience bed wetting habits
  • Forgetting how to or being unable to talk
  • Acting out the event during playtime
  • Could be unusually clingy to a parent or other adult
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Act out the event through drawings 
  • Could become more irritable or aggressive
  • Might have problems with friends, or school work
  • might try to avoid going to school
  • depression as they get older
  • anxiety
  • withdrawal or possible reckless behavior as they get older

Risk Factors

PTSD can happen at any age! 

  • war veterans
  • sexual abuse
  • physical abuse
  • loss of a loved one
  • witnessing a dangerous event happen to a loved one
  • childhood trauma
  • having a history of mental illness
  • having little to no social support after the event
  • Stress after the event can make PTSD more likely

With this being said, PTSD can occur soon after the event or take months to years before it triggers & it can come and go. Again, everyone is different. 

 

Treatment:

  • Psychotherapy for PTSD
  • Medications

The ONE thing is for sure, we always want to push people to ask for help, but sometimes that person doesn’t always realize they have an actual issue and some people live in denial. You can offer help, but doesn’t mean they will take it. I once told somebody: “getting help seems easy to do coming from people from the outside looking in, but for me, it is letting go of my pride, being vulnerable and accepting it and that’s just not easy to do” so take that how you will, but in knowing my own situation, my anxiety and how it hinders me sometimes – that’s how I feel about things, hints why I have never sought out help BUT don’t do as I do, do what works best for you, and your circumstances because help is important in order to better handle things sometimes. I will mention, my anxiety is A LOT better than where it used to be but it probably would have saved me a whole hell of lot more to seek help back when. It’s never too late to ask for help or seek a professional, so don’t give up on yourself. 

 

P.S I will always be honest with my readers about how I handled my own mental health issues and break downs, etc and I will be the FIRST person to say, I don’t seek professional help for things I go through, because I just deal with it & sometimes I pay a hell of a lot of consequences and sometimes I come out okay, but regardless, my pride and stubbornness gets the best of me,  and that’s why I am a bad example , lol 

 

Hope all of you have enjoyed this post, be sure to like, comment,share and follow!

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon xo

 

Journey To Health: Week Two

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw2xaXFbZZk

This week we answer the question: What has been our biggest accomplishment in our personal journey?

Started A SoundCloud Podcast

I remember sharing with all of you that I wanted to start a podcast using sound cloud months ago and well finally I had the chance to do it and today was the second podcast and first topic. For those of you who will be interested in my podcast, I want to give you the inside scoop on what to expect on it so nothing comes as a surprise. 

 
  • Fitness Advice/Tips
  • Motivation/inspiration 
  • interviews
  • Life – general things
  • relationships  – the good and bad
  • gay community (discussing my sexuality and other topics surrounding it)
  • Q & A – question and answer 
  • Current events

Then if this should grow, I will expand on the podcast and introduce more things that might become of interest to others. I will have a schedule on which days I discuss what and will reveal that schedule within the next couple of days hopefully because I want it to be organized and it will allow you to tune in to whatever you have interest in. I have been wanting to start a second YouTube channel to put the audio on, but I am having issues with that at the moment so maybe down the road, I can find a way to add them to a YouTube channel; for now I will share on my blog and other social media outlets. I appreciate all of you for your patience and support. 

 

P.S 

I will be starting a second blog that is NOT fitness/health related at some point and will also share that URL with you when it is up and running. I will continue to keep this blog regardless of starting a new one and will continue to post on this blog. 

 

Life.Fitness.Nutrition|vlog #30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywvI8LEy8Pk

My YouTube video today will talk about my eating habits, workouts (Fri-Sun) and what is going on in my life (thoughts, feelings, anxieties, etc). Feel free to follow, subscribe to the YouTube channel, share, comment. 

 

Thank You (Poem At The End)

I wanted to catch everyone up on why I haven’t been active on social media and my blog page as well.. and what is to come. 

 

Firstly, I want to say thank you to all of those who have left comments on my latest YouTube video and my blog post while I have been MIA – it truly means the world to me and while I did not respond to any of them, I did read them.. and it made me thankful that many of you were being as supportive as possible. 

 

Secondly, I apologize that all my viewers and blog friends and followers have not seen much of me on social media (including this blog) and I know it sucks because I have so much to write about and all you flock to my page to get the next big thing I have written; waiting patiently and none of you were prepared for this disappeared kind of moment. This was not fair to any of you – but I had to do what I had to do if it meant staying away for a while.

 

Thirdly, for those of you who aren’t caught up or new to the blog, this week has been full of emotional lows for me, I have been in rage, sad, frustrated, confused, and withdrew from close friends and family – for reasons I will not discuss on this blog or social media.. some may have guessed it or might have a clue as to why but I will not confirm those reasons for privacy reasons. I have a personal life that isn’t always something I want to discuss online. It has been very difficult for me, I haven’t been to the gym all week, I left the gym on Tuesday in tears and anger that I could not manage to go back all this week, I haven’t been eating much at all and my selections have not been healthiest at all – in all honesty I have been falling apart all week. The first to go was my mind, I lost it.. I was in my room crying most days and throwing shit other days of the week and all in all I missed out on tons of sleep to the point of not being able to function correctly. It wasn’t until partly yesterday I was slowly showing people support on Instagram again and trying to manage my emotions all at once.. it has been difficult but in the end.. we all have shitty days, right?

 

Fourthly, I will try to create a video Monday for all of you to get some updates.. and if I don’t you will have to excuse me because I still look horrible and although emotionally I feel like I am healing somewhat, I am not 100 percent yet. Not even close to it. I will continue to blog (starting today) and have even made it a point to start some new projects during this week of emotional rollercoasters.

 

Fifthly, I have given thought on starting a second blog that has nothing to do with fitness at all. It is a totally different spectrum and I will be honest, not sure what will come of it if I decide to do it but I feel like it could be a good thing for others as well as myself. I will continue this fitness blog – no worries, this is my FIRST love and my career and life, so this won’t be going away. Along with a new blog page means I will probably be creating a new facebook page dedicated to it, but that is all something I will start at later dates, I am taking this a day at a time. So be patient with me. 

 

Lastly, I have decided to share a simple poem with all of you I created within minutes of writing this post, hopefully all of you will enjoy it. I will be working on myself day my day because I want to make the most of my life with someone I adore and love and I want to better myself in all aspects of life and I want to blossom into something that I know I am capable of! All of your emails, comments, and social media messages have been read and I am in so much ‘ahh’ at all how many of you were by my side during this time, I am blessed beyond belief to have an online family who stands by my corner but I also want to thank all my close friends and family for keeping me on the up and up even when I was falling into pieces in front of you, you are my heros and I love you!

 

Poem:

I fell on my face, nothing could pick me back up

for all this time, I thought I wasn’t enough

sometimes the mental pain drains me, and my body hates me,

the insanity that takes over me – has me going crazy

 

the smile on my face gave me such distaste, pretending to be happy 

in order to survive this phase. 

It takes strength to grow but I didn’t know it would take so much pain

for every flower around me withered at my downward spiral that I gained

 

You won’t understand my story,  it has no end but many beginnings

You won’t understand my words, they are spoken while drinking henny,,

You won’t understand me, because I am everything in between..

This poem is only a small dose of me.

 

-Shay-lon Moss (this poem was created by me and copyrighted)

 

Thanks for reading, 

 

Fitness WonderWoman

 
 

Going to be gone this weekend :D

Alright lovely blogger friends, 

I am going to be gone all weekend, so I might be back Sunday night or Monday Morning, just saying that I won’t be blogging this weekend (which is technically normal) and I apologize I have been away for three days. I have tons of packing to do tonight because I am leaving tomorrow morning after work. I am going to post my workouts I did this week and will try to make time for another post ..but don’t hold me to it, as I have tons to finish around the house before I leave. Hopefully this coming week, I will have more fun fitness/health topics and workouts as well for all of you. With this all being said, I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and i will see you soon! ❤

 

FitnessWonderWoman,

Shay-lon xxoo

 

Keep up with my Instagram – you might see some new pictures during my vacation or videos 😀 

 

P.S.S if you are a blogger who follows me on Instagram and I just don’t know it and haven’t followed you back , let me know —- just saying! sometimes I miss people or don’t know. Also, be on the lookout for a possible new YouTube video tonight as well! wo

900 followers and counting.. Thank you:D

So..

I made it to my goal of 900 followers (technically yesterday) but, I am in such a good mood over this! Not because it means I have more followers, but it means I met 100 more people this month, I talked to a possible 100 more people, read 100 more blogs, possibly maybe even learned 100 more things from all of you. Having followers is like every bloggers dream, but having followers who later on become friends, become your coffee and conversation partner, or people you can rely on to make your day – that my good sir is hard to come by. It occur to me today that someone had a made a comment on my YouTube channel telling me how they not only like my videos but they like the fact I respond to everyone’s comments – that is their favorite thing about me. Reading that, really made me smile, because I am not sure if you know this, but I make it my mission to ALWAYS respond to people on any of my social media mediums (this is why I am on so many).

You see, I don’t think some of you realize that a response to someone is a million times better than following someone (in my opinion) because when you respond, you are showing you read it, you understood it, and you are interested in speaking with that particular person. When people follow me, I hope they follow me because they enjoy my engagement, I hope they follow me because they are eager to know more and I hope they follow me because they feel comfortable on my page or whatever medium they follow me on. I don’t want someone to follow me and then never talk to me, I want to talk to each of you, and it doesn’t have to be about fitness/health, it can be about your day, your hobbies, your family.. those conversations are meaningful to me.

I strive to make good content, yes. BUT I also strive to make good conversation, to show my interest in your blog or videos, to show interest in your life because I want to engage, I want to know your opinions or thoughts. You’re not just a follower or subscriber, when you talk to me, you have begun a deeper journey, a journey that I hope never ends. xo

Thank you for being there for me, and supporting me! Cheers.

New goal: 1000 followers.

Your Fitness Blogger,

Shay-lon xoxo

Motivational Monday Youtube video Oct. 3rd

“Making Sacrifices”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN04qYCE5VQ

Crying in a pool full of tears

relationship-unknown

It’s scary to think it was just a month ago, I had found someone who made me feel alive and wanted for the first time in a long time.  It will be almost two months and I never thought for a second I would be at this point in the relationship where I am faking a smile, burying my head in pillows, and feeling less than my best on a constant basis. See, my partner and I click well, we have this ultimate relationship, this firework, this bolt of lightening that can grasp the attention of others. Nothing in a relationship is perfect, hell we live 4 hours away from one another and make it work because we care about each other and enjoy seeing one another. I got lucky with this one, blessed with this one, not letting go of this one, can’t get them off my mind kind of person and yet you are wondering why I am “drowning in a pool of tears”? My partner just figured out that they may have PTSD from their past relationship (they were in a mentally abusive relationship prior to dating me) and they didn’t realize how it would effect them now in this relationship, but they mentioned their tolerance would be low and they would be in “moods”, “not knowing what they want”, and random “sadness, annoyed, frustrated” etc. My ex had PTSD as well, and I was able to handle it for the most part, but everyone is different, nothing is the same for everyone, I even have a friend with PTSD and she was able to help me understand it in such a way that made sense. Now, my partner did her research (not see a specialist) and figures it would have to be the answer, but it could be a multitude of things, but nonetheless, I trust them. I decided to do my own research of it to refresh my mind and it can be difficult for relationships, friendships, life, etc, but I decided I could stick through this, because I care about them very much.  I let them know they could count of me for support and I would stay by their side no matter how bad it gets, and I continue to make that promise, because I refuse to give up on them.  

Normally, I am not the type to blast everything over the internet about my business, but sometimes I need to vent and instead of talking to someone one-on-one, I blog about it or write about it, not for the advice or help, but in hopes it releases the pressure from my brain and others can relate to my story.  My partner asked me for a break, space and told me to calm down.. as if they knew I would panic (which I would have, if I had not been sick at the time), I felt weak, I felt at fault, I felt like I lost a bestfriend/my babe/my reason to smile most days. I reassure them that it was fine and that I understood, and would give them the space they needed, in hopes it would be helpful because I am not sure what they are going through or how they feel, but I imagine it had to be bad if it came down to this. Every relationship needs its space, needs its bumps and obstacles, some go through more than others. I decided to suck it up and be STRONG, suck up my tears and focus on my week ahead, suck it up and smile, suck it up and push through this because I have to, I have to know that this is temporary because I refuse to be negative. I had been doing good, getting good news from editors, and I tried to put my best face on to avoid questions, to avoid embaressment, to get by at work, I thought no one could see through my smile and recognize my worry, my tears from the previous night, the sad songs streaming through my mind and the lack of interest in conversation, but people seen, people asked, people shared their advice and people listened & didn’t laugh, it all helped but it didn’t mend. 

Friday will be a week since talking to my partner, I miss the good morning text, the goodnight calls, the counting down to see each other, the “have a good day at work”, I miss texting you telling you how beautiful you are, I miss giving you all my attention, I miss the quick good byes; talk to you after work kind of days, holding you close to me, being told “I am the only one you want”, having you as my go to when everything seemed upside down in my life, your advice. I realize we have bickered, but nothing worth being upset about for more than 5 minutes, I know you need this space babe, so I want to give it to you, I am not leaving your side and I am going to patiently await your return because I don’t give up, and because I miss you like crazy but I am strong, I am trying, I am here for you when you are ready.  This wasn’t meant to be easy, our relationship wasn’t meant to be perfect and I will continue to make mistakes and learn from them, but don’t you forget I am here, I am here. 

We had planned on me coming down Oct. 2nd, I have been praying and staying positive in hopes I will hear from them before then. “The strongest people are the ones who have been hurt and still manage to get up” -Shay-lon Moss

Yours Truly,

Shay-lon xoxo