365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 92

12.03.18

Are you a good communicator?

  • At a very young age up until late high school, I struggled with my socialization skills & communicating with peers. Especially when it came to voicing my opinion, confrontations, debates, communicating my feelings/thoughts to others, etc. It wasn’t that I was anti-social or didn’t have any friends, I was very outgoing (still am) and had friends, but I was what most would probably consider “awkward”; Having a conversation with someone was harder due to my social anxiety — being a class clown all my life was my way of communicating and making friends, it seemed so much easier to find ways to make people laugh, than it was trying to talk to people in normal day to day conversations. I have many reasons as to why I feel as though I was struggling with this, mostly with other women vs men. I was a tomboy, so being one of the guys and hanging with my younger brother was my way of trying to fit in, vs hanging out with a bunch of girls from school. At a young age, I knew I was different, but it didn’t strike me as hard until I realized that maybe I had an attraction towards the same sex, and this just made communicating / socializing even harder at times. As I got older, I started to learn to open up to people more and had more conversation & my class clown acts weren’t as rapid, but after suffering from  losing friends, and having to move to different states/change schools, my communication skills started to once again dwindle because of my social anxiety from not knowing anyone. At the same time I had a hard time communicating with my own parent, my mom wasn’t the easiest lady talking to growing up (still has her moments now) because she is both stubborn and stuck in her ways and she believes what she says, goes — so I didn’t really have the confidence to speak up to her about certain matters until later in life. I’d say now, my communication skills aren’t perfect & I still have social anxiety, but I am better at voicing my opinion to peers, better at communicating my feelings within relationships and with close friends & I have gotten better at trying to voice my thoughts to my mom (even when she doesn’t seem to want to hear about it), regardless, I am glad this is something I have learned to excel at, and having taken a communication class in college, helped me to be able to talk in front of others with less fear. The hardest thing is keeping in touch with people — I am not good at doing that. 
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365 days of self discovery: Day 52

Do you deal well with rejection?

  • Now, sure, I deal with it better; but I still have my moments when it is hard to deal with it. Rejection is hard to deal with, not something most people enjoy; including myself. Learning to be okay after being rejected can be hard at first, but teaching yourself that it doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough helps one to realize rejection isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes rejection leads to one door opening after another has closed.

Do you deal with rejection well? or is there room for improvement. What makes dealing with rejection difficult for you? leave comments & share, follow and like.

BEGREATGUYS Tip #9 Acceptance but not complacent

We have come quite a long ways; to a point where most people on social media seem to be more positive towards others bodies and choices of sport, and their lifestyle choices. Even more beautiful is the self love I see on social media from men and women alike, who have stood up to the bullies and have chosen to speak on how they don’t feel any less self confident with themselves anymore because they have chosen to love who they are — I know body shaming still exist on and off social media; and it probably won’t cease anytime soon, but when I see how people choose to handle it, it makes me smile because everyone’s body and genetic make up is different & we never really know another person’s journey. Saying this, I have decided that there are two things that I believe are important when it comes to the body & how one should treat it. 

  1. Acceptance – In other words accepting your body for all the flaws it may have, being able to accept the fact that we are all different & unique; that we can’t compare ourselves to others because each journey is different & each person has their obstacles. Our genetic make up can be a curse or it can be a blessing/ or perhaps a mix of both but it is who we are before we work towards changing it. Accepting your body today, tomorrow and in the future will bring a more positive perspective & learning to accept someone else’s body is showing that you respect their choice even if you don’t agree with it. 
  2. NOT staying complacent – This is where you change what you want to make better & learn from trial/error what works best for your body. While you have accepted its flaws, does not mean you cannot work towards progress and make new results that will make you feel much more confident inside & out. Choosing to not be complacent means you want growth & growth means you constantly want to be the best person you can be. Success is golden if you aim for better but not perfect & sometimes even if results don’t come when you plan on it, they come when you least expect it and challenge you to keep pushing even when the odds are stacked against you. While accepting another person’s body flaws and lifestyle choices is respectful, it doesn’t mean you can’t motivate them to want to better themselves — maybe a simple understanding of where they started and where they are now & where they see themselves will be enough to encourage them to keep going. 

As a personal trainer & athlete, I have taught myself to love my body even on bad days but to always seek for improvement — because improvement is possible. If I want something bad enough, I work towards it at a reasonable pace that works best for me. I have taught my clients to say positive things about their bodies but to demand the change they want to see by working towards their goals with my help. The more we teach ourselves to accept the flaws but go after changes that allow us to grow; I believe it will create a body positive experience. 

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Shay-lon