365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

4.02.19

Day 26

What has been the most challenging part of your life to date?

  • Building/molding myself into someone I’m comfortable with, without fear of what others may think or say. Being the person I want to be and not what others expect of me — basically choosing to live happy instead of worried all the time of how the world may perceive me. 

Any part of your life been challenging to date? 

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My First Fitness Photoshoot

Well, Friday was my birthday and Saturday I had my first fitness photoshoot. It was fun and a great experience that scared the hell out of me but I did it and I will continue to do it now going forward. I made a short post about my experiences and learning to pose, etc find out here what I had to say about the photoshoot.

 

 

365 Days of Self Discovery: The Past

3.08.19

Day One

What is one thing you would change about your childhood?

  • I would have chosen to stick up for myself when being bullied, instead of allowing people do so and think that is okay, or ignoring it because then it might not have happened as often. 
Now we are getting into a different section of the self discovery and I realize some people may not be comfortable talking about their past or sharing certain aspects, so if you don’t, don’t feel pressured into answering any of these questions online, instead, write them down for only your eyes to read. I do believe however you choose to answer, might be helpful in developing yourself and learning more about yourself. As for me, if any of the questions get particularly hard for me to answer, I write them down as I always do, but I will also post something to let ya’ll know that the question is particularly more private — I know I want to share aspects of me with me and you, but somethings are not always for the lookers — and I won’t force myself to share everything about me if I don’t feel the need to. Thank you for the continued support. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.03.19

Day 63

Do you ever feel inferior, why is this?

  • Eh, sometimes when I find myself comparing myself to others or when I am dating someone whom I believe to be out of my league. I suppose it is a self worth issue, but something I work on, but I will say, when it comes to everyday common people and what they have vs what I have materialistically, I don’t pay much attention to. 

Week Four For Bench Press Program

1.07.19

Warm up:

  • Triceps extension machine: 4 x 25, 30 lbs
  • Chest press machine: 4 x 25, 40 lbs
  • DB reverse fly: 4 x 25, 20 lbs

Workout:

  • Barbell bench press: 5 x 3 x 75%, 95 lbs

Tri-set:

  • DB chest press: 5 x 5, 90 lbs
  • Seated lateral raises: 5 x 5, 30 lbs
  • plate front raises: 5 x 5, 35 lbs

Tri-set:

  • EZ bar close grip chest press: 5 x 5, 60 lbs
  • EZ bar curls: 5 x 5, 50 lbs
  • Pull ups: 5 x 5

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 119

12.30.18

Do you have fears of abandonment? Why could this be?

  • I had never heard of “Fear of abandonment” before having to answer this question, so I did some mini research & was shocked when I compared some of the information with myself — realizing I have this fear. I have this fear when it comes to relationships, and while I don’t show all signs, I have many of them when dating. I necessarily consider this a horrible thing, in fact, I love that I found this out about myself because now I will do more research on the matter and find ways to make this less of an issue for future relationships. I’m not 100 percent sure why I have this phobia or for how long I have had it to go into great detail, but I believe it could be some form of trauma I experienced in previous relationships (that I was aware of, or blocked out) or perhaps something from my childhood triggered it. While this isn’t something to brag about, I do believe it is important to be honest with myself, I could have chosen to deny this and pretend it isn’t a thing; but what good would that have been? Hopefully if any of you have this fear, you feel comfortable enough to express it & if you don’t know, look into it and get an understanding of it and what it means — you might be surprised. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 113

12.24.18

Do you display self destructive behavior?

  • No, not that I am aware of. Although, I feel as though some may feel as though I might because of the fact normally when I talk about myself; it is with a joke or pun, maybe even making light of a flaw I have, someone wouldn’t probably think twice about it unless they noticed a pattern & I wouldn’t say in every conversation, I do this, but I would say I have done it and that it happens without me realizing it sometimes. It is almost like I make a negative comment about myself but form into a joke so that it doesn’t seem so negative (weird, I know) but otherwise, I don’t feel as though I display destructive behavior. I am learning to be more confident and build on my self worth / self esteem so that when I do talk about myself it comes off rather positive instead. 
Are you someone who displays self destructive behavior knowingly or unknowingly?