Week Four For Bench Press Program


Warm up:

  • Triceps extension machine: 4 x 25, 30 lbs
  • Chest press machine: 4 x 25, 40 lbs
  • DB reverse fly: 4 x 25, 20 lbs


  • Barbell bench press: 5 x 3 x 75%, 95 lbs


  • DB chest press: 5 x 5, 90 lbs
  • Seated lateral raises: 5 x 5, 30 lbs
  • plate front raises: 5 x 5, 35 lbs


  • EZ bar close grip chest press: 5 x 5, 60 lbs
  • EZ bar curls: 5 x 5, 50 lbs
  • Pull ups: 5 x 5

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 119


Do you have fears of abandonment? Why could this be?

  • I had never heard of “Fear of abandonment” before having to answer this question, so I did some mini research & was shocked when I compared some of the information with myself — realizing I have this fear. I have this fear when it comes to relationships, and while I don’t show all signs, I have many of them when dating. I necessarily consider this a horrible thing, in fact, I love that I found this out about myself because now I will do more research on the matter and find ways to make this less of an issue for future relationships. I’m not 100 percent sure why I have this phobia or for how long I have had it to go into great detail, but I believe it could be some form of trauma I experienced in previous relationships (that I was aware of, or blocked out) or perhaps something from my childhood triggered it. While this isn’t something to brag about, I do believe it is important to be honest with myself, I could have chosen to deny this and pretend it isn’t a thing; but what good would that have been? Hopefully if any of you have this fear, you feel comfortable enough to express it & if you don’t know, look into it and get an understanding of it and what it means — you might be surprised. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 113


Do you display self destructive behavior?

  • No, not that I am aware of. Although, I feel as though some may feel as though I might because of the fact normally when I talk about myself; it is with a joke or pun, maybe even making light of a flaw I have, someone wouldn’t probably think twice about it unless they noticed a pattern & I wouldn’t say in every conversation, I do this, but I would say I have done it and that it happens without me realizing it sometimes. It is almost like I make a negative comment about myself but form into a joke so that it doesn’t seem so negative (weird, I know) but otherwise, I don’t feel as though I display destructive behavior. I am learning to be more confident and build on my self worth / self esteem so that when I do talk about myself it comes off rather positive instead. 
Are you someone who displays self destructive behavior knowingly or unknowingly? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 92


Are you a good communicator?

  • At a very young age up until late high school, I struggled with my socialization skills & communicating with peers. Especially when it came to voicing my opinion, confrontations, debates, communicating my feelings/thoughts to others, etc. It wasn’t that I was anti-social or didn’t have any friends, I was very outgoing (still am) and had friends, but I was what most would probably consider “awkward”; Having a conversation with someone was harder due to my social anxiety — being a class clown all my life was my way of communicating and making friends, it seemed so much easier to find ways to make people laugh, than it was trying to talk to people in normal day to day conversations. I have many reasons as to why I feel as though I was struggling with this, mostly with other women vs men. I was a tomboy, so being one of the guys and hanging with my younger brother was my way of trying to fit in, vs hanging out with a bunch of girls from school. At a young age, I knew I was different, but it didn’t strike me as hard until I realized that maybe I had an attraction towards the same sex, and this just made communicating / socializing even harder at times. As I got older, I started to learn to open up to people more and had more conversation & my class clown acts weren’t as rapid, but after suffering from  losing friends, and having to move to different states/change schools, my communication skills started to once again dwindle because of my social anxiety from not knowing anyone. At the same time I had a hard time communicating with my own parent, my mom wasn’t the easiest lady talking to growing up (still has her moments now) because she is both stubborn and stuck in her ways and she believes what she says, goes — so I didn’t really have the confidence to speak up to her about certain matters until later in life. I’d say now, my communication skills aren’t perfect & I still have social anxiety, but I am better at voicing my opinion to peers, better at communicating my feelings within relationships and with close friends & I have gotten better at trying to voice my thoughts to my mom (even when she doesn’t seem to want to hear about it), regardless, I am glad this is something I have learned to excel at, and having taken a communication class in college, helped me to be able to talk in front of others with less fear. The hardest thing is keeping in touch with people — I am not good at doing that. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 87


What would you like to do less of?

  • Less working (make a passive income)
  • less thinking/worrying about what others think of me
  • less self doubting myself
  • less negative thinking towards my body image
  • less time on dating sites/social media and more time going out among other people and talking to people 
  • less of arguing with my mom

What do you want to do less of? leave comments, follow, share and like! 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 75

Do you find yourself apologizing a lot? Why do you think you do this?

  • Yes, I am the type of person who will apologize for everything I do, even when it is not necessary nor my fault or if I feel like I am not good enough for someone. This question brought up a good story, because actually my boss from one of my jobs had caught onto this early on and brought it to my attention. At the time he had put himself in my space (assuming he wanted to speak to me) but within in seconds, I was apologizing & this shocked and confused him, he ended up asking me why I was apologizing and I had mentioned that it was because I thought I was in his way (even though I knew I was not, because I was doing what I supposed to be doing and he was coming into my space) well, he looks at me and says “Shay, you were working and I got inside your bubble, don’t apologize for that, you need to work on your self esteem” and when he said that, it caught me off guard because I would have never considered that fact — in fact I told him I was a strong person, and he says “you may be strong physically but mentally you need work, because you shouldn’t have to apologize for every little thing, especially when the apology isn’t rendered necessary and you did nothing wrong; that usually is a self esteem issue, or self worth issue” — well maybe he was right, and with this motivational conversation and wisdom, I try to now make it a reminder to not apologize so much because sometimes I don’t even know why I am apologizing in the first place. 
Do any of you find yourself in the same situation where you are the type to apologize for everything, it just comes as second nature to you? Also, do you agree with my boss, that normally when someone makes this a habit, it is a self esteem/self worth rooted issue? Share your thoughts in the comments, and if you can, share it with your readers so we can really crack this nut open. Thanks for reading!

365 days of self discovery: Day 52

Do you deal well with rejection?

  • Now, sure, I deal with it better; but I still have my moments when it is hard to deal with it. Rejection is hard to deal with, not something most people enjoy; including myself. Learning to be okay after being rejected can be hard at first, but teaching yourself that it doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough helps one to realize rejection isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes rejection leads to one door opening after another has closed.

Do you deal with rejection well? or is there room for improvement. What makes dealing with rejection difficult for you? leave comments & share, follow and like.