365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 90

12.01.18

Are you kind to yourself?

  • There was a blogger whom I used to talk to more regularly that would always tell me to be kind to myself, at first, it was hard to think of what it truly meant to be kind to myself, but after giving it some deep thought, it all started to make more sense to me as to what he was telling me, because at the time I was going through a series of negative energy that I had going on– I was battling a break up, going through a form of depression and struggling to pass an important exam. I can honestly say within the last 4-5 months I have been more kind to myself than I have in the past. The hardest part is being kind to myself even when I am going through hardships or battling with my emotions but after it feels good to be kind to myself, feels good to treat myself better than I have in the past and it has made me stronger. 
Do any of you struggle with being kind to yourself? if so, why is that and in what ways can you change that? 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 71

11.12.18

How much do you love yourself right now?

  • Currently I am on this self discovery journey learning more about myself and learning to forgive myself of my flaws, imperfections, mistakes I’ve made, learning to accept myself, learning that not everyone will like me but that doesn’t make me a bad person. I love myself, but I want to love myself all the time, I want to love myself 100 percent, I want to be able to say it confidently without doubts. This self discovery journey has been pleasurable and has taught me new things about who I am and what makes me me, I’ve enjoyed it. 

I don’t live my life to Appease you

Not anymore.

It is within our nature to want to be accepted by others, to want to “fit in” and feel like we can have a common place with someone else. We strive to be this person that people can say they like, talk highly about and want to be around on a more constant basis. It’s almost like we do things in order to prove we are worthy of these things, but what for? because popularity is a form of what we would consider “love”, and people like feeling loved — and cared for. It’s without a doubt, a great indicator of who we are and how we perceive ourselves because in the mist of wanting to be this “popular” buzz, we find out what sacrifices we had to make in order to appease the crowd & how those same sacrifices effect our character. Sometimes by being the “crowds favorite person” you find out that you had to sell your soul to the devil (metaphorically speaking) and once you decide to sell yourself short in order to gain a couple new friends, you don’t get to make another bargain. It’s a final sale & there are no refunds, you gave away yourself in order to buy a new face — you prided yourself for the amount of people who speak about you, but not everyone stays around long enough to meet the real you, when you finally have had a enough exhaustion for one day & need a break from it all, you have to remember it comes with a losing sacrifice, you lose out on the people you gained and you lost the ones who accepted you without change — but because of your greedy mind and wishful thinking, you have nobody at the end of this tunnel if you don’t stick with this mask that made you phenomenal. 

I created this writing as a piece to dedicate to myself & to those who have or once had lived to appease. They lived their lives constantly wanting someone to notice them, wanting to be their friend, wanting to be apart of something grand because for so long they weren’t happy with what they had, even if what they had was pure. Sometimes we want to strive for bigger & better but not always is this the best path, it can come with consequences if you don’t read the small bold print at the bottom of the contract and has its been known to change a person’s character and scar them. For we don’t get to choose who we meet, but if who we meet changes who we are for the worst, than maybe we need to reconsider how we go about letting people in. To appease someone else by changing yourself is like living a life with half truths. Not everyone was meant to like you, the true you, some will deem it “not good enough” ; but what isn’t good enough for them was good enough for those who stayed by your side no matter your flaws. If ONLY one person deemed you “good enough” , that one person is worthy of your love because that one person didn’t ask you to conform but instead asked you to be yourself in exchange for their true selves. We don’t have to unmask ourselves to see the face, we only have to question if who we really are, is the mask we put on everyday. Don’t live to appease, live to be loved and to be cared for 100 percent, live to be you, live to be true and never live to fit in because tears will flood the eyes who have reached their own demise. 

Shay-lon

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comment section & if you are a fan of these spoken verses, please feel free to share with your peers, like this page and follow my blog. 

365 days of self discovery: Day 32

10.04.18

What is the most important thing to enable you to live an authentic life?

  • Personally, I would have to say being myself — whatever that may consist of 100% & even when it may not fit societies “norms”, or standards. I believe if one cannot be themselves (flaws and all) and instead pretend to be someone they are not in order to “fit in” with the crowd, then their life can never truly be genuine & that will also effect the ones they surround themselves with. 

365 days of self discovery: Day 24

Is there anything that has changed your outlook on life?

  • As humans, we will have good & bad days, and, I think sometimes our outlook on life can stem from circumstances and/or situations that arise within our lives that we can & cannot control. When I am having a terrible day, it’s so easy for me to be negative & think of life negatively, but when something good happens, in turn it’s like I feel as though life is all good in the neighborhood. At the end of the day, I always have to stop and think there is always someone who has it worse than me; this attitude alone has made me more grateful for the life I have — even when I feel as though it isn’t the best life. 

How do you feel about your outlook on life, is it good or bad & why. What made it so that your outlook is the way it is? leave comments, share, like & follow! 

Shay-lon

365 days of self discovery: day 12

9.14.18

What are you most thankful for?

To say the least, I am thankful for many things in my life that sometimes I take for granted. I am learning to focus on what I do have and not so much of what I am missing or don’t have, because in the scheme of things, I have more than what others may say for themselves. For me being thankful and listing all the good things I have going for me isn’t enough for this post because I am willing to bet, we can all be thankful for the shelter we have, food we eat, water we drink, and perhaps the luxuries our income enabled us to buy and live as such. Those are all things most people should be thankful for, but in my world I have something more special to be thankful due to my lifestyle. 

I am most thankful for having a mom and brothers who accept me no matter my sexuality & whom I have chosen to love me and not turn me away or shun me or make me feel inferior to them due to my sexuality. I am blessed with this support because I have heard and have known many cases where families have disowned their children because of it or sent them away to ‘change them’, they have ridiculed them or judged them, and have chosen to turn the cheek when their child only needed and wanted love and support. I have to admit, it hasn’t always been easy to be open with my family but I think their love outweighs their beliefs and my mom never allowed her belief in God or the bible to outweigh her love for me and support of me. I love her for that, always will because this is something that truly makes me happiest when I think of things I am thankful for. 

What is something that you are thankful for, something with a deep meaning or significant part of your life that others might not be able to say for themselves? We should all be thankful for something, because it can always be taken away from us as fast as we got it. Nothing is guaranteed forever.

Shay-lon 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 7

Where is your safe place?

My bedroom. 

My bedroom holds my thoughts, allows me to be away from it all & gives me a chance to be myself; naked, clothed, happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed– it judges me not/I don’t have to mask myself and it comes without terms and conditions. It’s my “final resting place” metaphorically speaking;  where I end my day/night before waking the next morning. My bedroom holds my belongings that hold significant meaning to me, my hiding place when I don’t want to be found, it’s my island away from society when I need to escape. 

Where is your safe place? Is it inside your home, at a park, the library, etc. Whatever it may be, share it, tell me where you go to feel safest. Leave comments, shares, likes and follow! Thanks for reading, until next time. 

Shay-lon