Do you feel you are valued by others?
- Sadly, no. & if I am, I don’t believe people have done a good job showing it — which makes it difficult for me at times to see my own self worth. While my self worth isn’t measured by other people’s opinions of me, I do feel as though by not feeling valued by others it can change how one might feel about themselves.. which, sucks.
What are your personal goals?
- Work on my social anxiety
- work on building my self worth/confidence
- travel on my own
- lose weight (10-15 lbs)
- build solid relationships with both my siblings that continue to be positive and allow us to stay close
- learn to forgive myself and others
- learn to stand up for myself when need be and voice my opinions openly without fear of what others may think or say
I’d say I have more than what is listed, but I think primarily these listed are some of the important ones for now.
What are your personal goals?
Do you ever feel inferior, why is this?
- Eh, sometimes when I find myself comparing myself to others or when I am dating someone whom I believe to be out of my league. I suppose it is a self worth issue, but something I work on, but I will say, when it comes to everyday common people and what they have vs what I have materialistically, I don’t pay much attention to.
How do you deal with negative comments?
- To be honest, I don’t deal with them very well at all. Even when I am trying to “ignore” it, they still bother me. Mostly bothers me because normally I don’t do anything that would render someone to be nasty towards me, and while I am not perfect by any means, I don’t go out of my way to give someone a reason to be rude/mean/malicious towards me — especially since I try to be a positive, optimistic person for the most part. I have always been one to take things people say about me to heart and because I don’t enjoy confrontation, it is harder because I am having to ignore it when it still plays in my head. If I would learn to confront the issue more, I think it would not bother me as much. I had a blogger once tell me, “what other people think about you or say about you is none of your business” (something along those lines) and after reading this phrase, it definitely makes sense and helps somewhat to see the other side of things and really allows me to push forward in trying to not let it get to me. I dislike strongly negative comments towards me, because I know what it is like to be bullied and it sucks and it gets old and sometimes it just seems to weigh people down, so I take harshly to negative comments when the person has no reason to be that way towards another person. I am firm believer that everyone has a right to their own opinion, but like butts, everyone has one & sometimes it is best to keep certain comments to yourself.
How do you handle negative comments? Have you found a way that works best for you, or do you struggle with this as well?
Do you display self destructive behavior?
- No, not that I am aware of. Although, I feel as though some may feel as though I might because of the fact normally when I talk about myself; it is with a joke or pun, maybe even making light of a flaw I have, someone wouldn’t probably think twice about it unless they noticed a pattern & I wouldn’t say in every conversation, I do this, but I would say I have done it and that it happens without me realizing it sometimes. It is almost like I make a negative comment about myself but form into a joke so that it doesn’t seem so negative (weird, I know) but otherwise, I don’t feel as though I display destructive behavior. I am learning to be more confident and build on my self worth / self esteem so that when I do talk about myself it comes off rather positive instead.
Are you someone who displays self destructive behavior knowingly or unknowingly?
Do you find yourself apologizing a lot? Why do you think you do this?
- Yes, I am the type of person who will apologize for everything I do, even when it is not necessary nor my fault or if I feel like I am not good enough for someone. This question brought up a good story, because actually my boss from one of my jobs had caught onto this early on and brought it to my attention. At the time he had put himself in my space (assuming he wanted to speak to me) but within in seconds, I was apologizing & this shocked and confused him, he ended up asking me why I was apologizing and I had mentioned that it was because I thought I was in his way (even though I knew I was not, because I was doing what I supposed to be doing and he was coming into my space) well, he looks at me and says “Shay, you were working and I got inside your bubble, don’t apologize for that, you need to work on your self esteem” and when he said that, it caught me off guard because I would have never considered that fact — in fact I told him I was a strong person, and he says “you may be strong physically but mentally you need work, because you shouldn’t have to apologize for every little thing, especially when the apology isn’t rendered necessary and you did nothing wrong; that usually is a self esteem issue, or self worth issue” — well maybe he was right, and with this motivational conversation and wisdom, I try to now make it a reminder to not apologize so much because sometimes I don’t even know why I am apologizing in the first place.
Do any of you find yourself in the same situation where you are the type to apologize for everything, it just comes as second nature to you? Also, do you agree with my boss, that normally when someone makes this a habit, it is a self esteem/self worth rooted issue? Share your thoughts in the comments, and if you can, share it with your readers so we can really crack this nut open. Thanks for reading!