365 Days of Self Discovery: Health & Well-Being

8.15.19

Day 7

Are you comfortable looking in the mirror?

  • I haven’t always been. During my junior and senior year of college I struggled with looking in the mirror and even when I was younger I didn’t particularly enjoy looking in a mirror so I carried the habit of avoiding mirrors through my adulthood (unless I HAD to). It took a professor of mine to make it a habit of me having to look in a mirror while exercising to watch my form and technique — before I could do it at the gym & it not bother me. At the time, it was due to my weight gain that I avoided the mirrors and didn’t particularly enjoy seeing myself in the mirror because it was like a constant reminder that I looked gross. I had never had weight issues growing up — always been healthy and lean / so when this happened it terrified me and angered me and gave me anxiety and made me more self conscious about my appearance overall. Now, I have my days where I avoid the mirror in general besides when lifting out of habit when I don’t feel or look the best (but doesn’t have much to do with my body) more so, my overall appearance & I don’t like looking at myself in the fitting room mirrors [[ never have]] because they all differ and many times give me a bad perception of how I look compared to how I feel. 
I have never been comfortable looking in a mirror, so now that I feel more comfortable doing so when I need to or when lifting at the gym, I feel I have come a long way from that fear — and it shows my growth and trying to overcome an obstacle of self worth. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.19.19

Day 60

Have you ever loved somebody who didn’t love you back? How did that make you feel?

  • Yes, I have. It made me feel very lowly about myself, I felt stupid and confused. It hurt a lot, because I assumed this person loved me when they told me, but their actions were different and I chose to ignore the red flags because of how much I cared for this person. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

6.16.19

Day 27

Do you feel you are valued by others?

  • Sadly, no. & if I am, I don’t believe people have done a good job showing it — which makes it difficult for me at times to see my own self worth. While my self worth isn’t measured by other people’s opinions of me, I do feel as though by not feeling valued by others it can change how one might feel about themselves.. which, sucks. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

5.21.19

Day 41

What are your personal goals?

  • Work on my social anxiety
  • work on building my self worth/confidence
  • travel on my own
  • lose weight (10-15 lbs)
  • build solid relationships with both my siblings that continue to be positive and allow us to stay close
  • learn to forgive myself and others
  • learn to stand up for myself when need be and voice my opinions openly without fear of what others may think or say
I’d say I have more than what is listed, but I think primarily these listed are some of the important ones for now. 
What are your personal goals? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.03.19

Day 63

Do you ever feel inferior, why is this?

  • Eh, sometimes when I find myself comparing myself to others or when I am dating someone whom I believe to be out of my league. I suppose it is a self worth issue, but something I work on, but I will say, when it comes to everyday common people and what they have vs what I have materialistically, I don’t pay much attention to. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

1.21.19

Day 22

How do you deal with negative comments?

  • To be honest, I don’t deal with them very well at all. Even when I am trying to “ignore” it, they still bother me. Mostly bothers me because normally I don’t do anything that would render someone to be nasty towards me, and while I am not perfect by any means, I don’t go out of my way to give someone a reason to be rude/mean/malicious towards me — especially since I try to be a positive, optimistic person for the most part. I have always been one to take things people say about me to heart and because I don’t enjoy confrontation, it is harder because I am having to ignore it when it still plays in my head. If I would learn to confront the issue more, I think it would not bother me as much. I had a blogger once tell me, “what other people think about you or say about you is none of your business” (something along those lines) and after reading this phrase, it definitely makes sense and helps somewhat to see the other side of things and really allows me to push forward in trying to not let it get to me. I dislike strongly negative comments towards me, because I know what it is like to be bullied and it sucks and it gets old and sometimes it just seems to weigh people down, so I take harshly to negative comments when the person has no reason to be that way towards another person. I am firm believer that everyone has a right to their own opinion, but like butts, everyone has one & sometimes it is best to keep certain comments to yourself. 
How do you handle negative comments? Have you found a way that works best for you, or do you struggle with this as well? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 119

12.30.18

Do you have fears of abandonment? Why could this be?

  • I had never heard of “Fear of abandonment” before having to answer this question, so I did some mini research & was shocked when I compared some of the information with myself — realizing I have this fear. I have this fear when it comes to relationships, and while I don’t show all signs, I have many of them when dating. I necessarily consider this a horrible thing, in fact, I love that I found this out about myself because now I will do more research on the matter and find ways to make this less of an issue for future relationships. I’m not 100 percent sure why I have this phobia or for how long I have had it to go into great detail, but I believe it could be some form of trauma I experienced in previous relationships (that I was aware of, or blocked out) or perhaps something from my childhood triggered it. While this isn’t something to brag about, I do believe it is important to be honest with myself, I could have chosen to deny this and pretend it isn’t a thing; but what good would that have been? Hopefully if any of you have this fear, you feel comfortable enough to express it & if you don’t know, look into it and get an understanding of it and what it means — you might be surprised.