365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

6.22.19

Day 33

How comfortable are you meeting new people?

  • Honestly, I enjoy meeting new people but due to my social anxiety it is difficult for me to go out of my way to meet new people on my own (but it has gotten a tad bit better over the years). I noticed when someone else introduces me to somebody new, I handle it fine pending the vibes I get from the person – I go off people’s body language, their character, how they speak, carry themselves and how they perceive me as well because those all play a role in how comfortable I am around this person. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Your wishes/Hopes/Dreams/Future

4.13.19

Day 3

What skill have you always wanted to have?

  • The skill to strike up conversation with anyone at any time. I am used to talking to people at work and having to connect with people as a personal trainer but I want to be able to do the same when I am in public outside of my job. I like meeting people and in order to meet people, I need the confidence to just talk to people. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.29.19

Day 22

Did you find it easy to get along with your peers when you were growing up?

  • I’d say it was a mix of yes and no, because of me being an athlete all my life, I could make friends quite easily but when due to my socially awkward personality and struggling between wanting to fit in with the “cool” kids and being myself; sometimes it was harder to get along with peers. I was always the class clown growing up, I could make people laugh at my own expense but after awhile I then learned the difference between someone laughing with me and someone laughing at me & it truly opened my eyes to how some people perceived me. 
Would you say you got along with your peers growing up, or were you an outcast? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 92

12.03.18

Are you a good communicator?

  • At a very young age up until late high school, I struggled with my socialization skills & communicating with peers. Especially when it came to voicing my opinion, confrontations, debates, communicating my feelings/thoughts to others, etc. It wasn’t that I was anti-social or didn’t have any friends, I was very outgoing (still am) and had friends, but I was what most would probably consider “awkward”; Having a conversation with someone was harder due to my social anxiety — being a class clown all my life was my way of communicating and making friends, it seemed so much easier to find ways to make people laugh, than it was trying to talk to people in normal day to day conversations. I have many reasons as to why I feel as though I was struggling with this, mostly with other women vs men. I was a tomboy, so being one of the guys and hanging with my younger brother was my way of trying to fit in, vs hanging out with a bunch of girls from school. At a young age, I knew I was different, but it didn’t strike me as hard until I realized that maybe I had an attraction towards the same sex, and this just made communicating / socializing even harder at times. As I got older, I started to learn to open up to people more and had more conversation & my class clown acts weren’t as rapid, but after suffering from  losing friends, and having to move to different states/change schools, my communication skills started to once again dwindle because of my social anxiety from not knowing anyone. At the same time I had a hard time communicating with my own parent, my mom wasn’t the easiest lady talking to growing up (still has her moments now) because she is both stubborn and stuck in her ways and she believes what she says, goes — so I didn’t really have the confidence to speak up to her about certain matters until later in life. I’d say now, my communication skills aren’t perfect & I still have social anxiety, but I am better at voicing my opinion to peers, better at communicating my feelings within relationships and with close friends & I have gotten better at trying to voice my thoughts to my mom (even when she doesn’t seem to want to hear about it), regardless, I am glad this is something I have learned to excel at, and having taken a communication class in college, helped me to be able to talk in front of others with less fear. The hardest thing is keeping in touch with people — I am not good at doing that. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 84

11.25.18

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

  • I consider myself a little bit of both, but mostly an extrovert by nature (when I know someone well enough). The introvert side of me, is due to my social anxiety — I love being sociable & consider myself very outgoing and adventurous but sometimes my social anxiety gets the best of me and hinders me & I’m less likely to talk, less outgoing in fear of what people may think of me or due to the environment/or uncomfortable situation & many times the feeling of being overwhelmed triggers my anxiety as well (overwhelmed by the number of people, the feeling of not belonging, or feeling as though everyone is paying exceptional attention to me because I stick out). As an extrovert, I challenge my introverted side by doing things with friends and learning to do things on my own so that I can depend on me & feel comfortable in my own space without having to feel as though I need someone in order to do something. 

How many of my readers are introverts? How many of you are extroverts? are you a mixture of both, why?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 61

11.02.18

Do you find it easy asking for “help”?

  • Growing up, I avoided asking for help; especially in school. Instead of raising my hand in class, I’d usually go home and and try to figure it out; or wait until a teacher or college professor would notice my struggle & reach out to help me. Many times my college professors or high school teachers would recommend that  I seek assistance after class or school with them or with a tutor, but I’d never be one to go. Asking for help just made me feel uncomfortable due to social anxiety and because I wanted to blend in/fit in with everyone else who understood the subject matter. Not to mention, I don’t particularly enjoy the spotlight having to raise my hand in class if I don’t understand something. The ONE time that I reached out for help on my own, was when I was failing math class or on the brink of failing a math class in college & I had to pass it, in order to graduate that same year, so I reached out to a family member who then helped me to pass  — but that literally was down to the wire before I asked. Now, I still don’t particularly like having to ask for help — and try to avoid doing so, but at the same time I know if necessary, I am fully capable of asking for help if I need it. 

365-Days of Self Discovery

Day Four

What are your worst traits?

this is one of those questions where people become vulnerable and scare of how people will perceive them after admitting to their flaws. It is almost like we have this thought, that because we have these traits that aren’t so good, we are somehow damaged goods that nobody wants; but in my opinion, it can be quite liberating to talk about our flaws, because it gives you a sense of humbleness and allows for you to re-evaluate yourself and choices. Many people don’t think about their character flaws, so this question is good for that purpose, it is good to talk about what characteristics about yourself need work. We are human, so everyone has a flaws, sometimes we see them and sometimes we don’t. 

My traits I consider to be worst:

  1. I can be somewhat judgemental towards people due to their outer appearance or how they present themselves
  2. I have a hard time speaking to people/engaging in conversation without rambling or having an awkwardness about me because of my social anxiety
  3. My anger, how abrupt it can be without thought
  4. My ego, I don’t realize sometimes that my confidence can come off as arrogant to some people and perceive me as snobby or “above” them. 
  5. My own self doubt, I know I mentioned how ambitious and motivated I am, BUT many times, I give up putting in effort into something when it doesn’t bring results right away or put off the project in fear of failure
  6. I can be somewhat clingy when in a relationship, not the stage 3 clinger but I have a habit of ignoring everyone else around me and cutting people out of my life due to being a relationship and only focusing on the relationship — not my best trait 
  7. Being extremely hard on myself when I don’t excel at something or when I feel as though I am stagnant & not progressing in my life compared to other people. 
  8. Talking lowly of myself, I use negative things to counteract the positive that someone shares with me about myself, it just happens without thought & now I am being more self conscious about it because I want to love myself  & understand myself more.

Now this was again one of those questions where it might be harder for some to admit to their faults but If you are up to the task, I would love to have you guys leave comments about what you would consider your worst traits. We aren’t perfect & as long as we are aware of these flaws and making steps towards making them a positive force in our lives, I believe there is nothing wrong with having them. Thanks for reading, feel free to follow, share, like, comment 🙂

Shay-lon