365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

6.25.19

Day 36

Are you easily influenced by others?

  • No. 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: The Past

3.09.19

Day 2

If you could go back to when you were a child, what would you say to yourself?

  • I would tell myself “to be yourself 100%, no matter what others may think. Never feel the need to change who you are in order to make others like you”. I would tell myself this then, in hopes that when I proceed through life, I never felt the need to always change who I was to fit in, or to be liked or worthy of someone else. It would probably have made my life a little bit easier. #lifelesson
What would you tell your childhood self? 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.03.19

Day 63

Do you ever feel inferior, why is this?

  • Eh, sometimes when I find myself comparing myself to others or when I am dating someone whom I believe to be out of my league. I suppose it is a self worth issue, but something I work on, but I will say, when it comes to everyday common people and what they have vs what I have materialistically, I don’t pay much attention to. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 93

12.04.18

What are your pet peeves?

  • I have a few pet peeves that I shall list:
  1. when people chew gum loudly/obnoxiously
  2. when people speak with food in their mouth
  3. when people don’t use their turn signals
  4. when people are telling you something & you are trying to make sense of the story but they continue to change it
  5. when someone interrupts my karaoke moment to a song I like it
  6. when someone leaves either urine or water on the toilet seat without cleaning it up & you end up sitting on it — so gross. 
  7. Having to use public restrooms ( I don’t using them because you don’t get any privacy)
  8. when people talk to myself or others in a condescending manner
  9. when people ride my bumper very closely 
  10. when someone can’t repair/do something and refuse to let you try because they couldn’t do it. 
  11. When people text like this: GUrLz .. 
What are some of your pet peeves, leave the answer in the comments. Don’t forget to share, like, and follow the blog for more self discovery post. 

 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 64

11.05.18

Do you dress for yourself or to impress other people?

  • Once upon a time, it was to impress others because I was worried about how other people looked at me, and thought of me; certain styles, name brands, etc just so I felt and looked “good” according to other people’s standards. I grew up with a mom whom always wanted my sibling and myself to dress accordingly when we were out in public, we weren’t allowed to pick out our own clothes for a while & eventually when we were able to, we were examined first before having leaving the house. Having a nice outer appearance was important to her; she always said “you never know you might run into or meet, so you want to dress your best” — and it was expected of us. 
  • Now I dress for myself but the exception would be dressing for a first date or special occasion; wanting to impress the person(s) (first impressions are important) but at the same time still wearing something I feel comfortable in. I like to look good because it makes me feel good (mom always said, if you look good, you feel good) and I believe how a person carries themselves speaks volumes no matter what attire they have on, so I try to choose clothing that makes me feel confident in my body and with myself. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Day 57

10.29.18

Do you have leadership qualities or are you strictly a follower?

  • I definitely feel as though I have leadership qualities, I enjoy being a leader (not a boss) but a leader. Especially now more than I have in the past due to my confidence increasing and feeling the need to want to make changes that I don’t want to have to wait for. In the past, my social anxiety, wanting to fit in with the vast majority and be accepted hindered me from wanting to be my own person and take charge of my own thoughts and actions. I still suffer from social anxiety, but with work and managing it better, I don’t allow it to always hinder me or keep me from setting out to do something, and with the newfound confidence in certain areas of my life; speaking up for myself, voicing my own opinions, having wanting to be a leader instead of a “sheep” has become a lot easier. 

Sometimes we stay sheeps in order to be accepted by certain people, to avoid judgement, to avoid confrontation and it allows us to stay within our comfort zone. The problem with lacking leadership is, you start to rely on other people to be your voice, your self confidence continues to dwindle and when it comes time to stick up for yourself, you take the blows & don’t say a word. If you consider yourself to be a follower, think of the reason behind it, what is hindering you from wanting to become a leader? Are you a leader, do you share the qualities of a leader?

I don’t live my life to Appease you

Not anymore.

It is within our nature to want to be accepted by others, to want to “fit in” and feel like we can have a common place with someone else. We strive to be this person that people can say they like, talk highly about and want to be around on a more constant basis. It’s almost like we do things in order to prove we are worthy of these things, but what for? because popularity is a form of what we would consider “love”, and people like feeling loved — and cared for. It’s without a doubt, a great indicator of who we are and how we perceive ourselves because in the mist of wanting to be this “popular” buzz, we find out what sacrifices we had to make in order to appease the crowd & how those same sacrifices effect our character. Sometimes by being the “crowds favorite person” you find out that you had to sell your soul to the devil (metaphorically speaking) and once you decide to sell yourself short in order to gain a couple new friends, you don’t get to make another bargain. It’s a final sale & there are no refunds, you gave away yourself in order to buy a new face — you prided yourself for the amount of people who speak about you, but not everyone stays around long enough to meet the real you, when you finally have had a enough exhaustion for one day & need a break from it all, you have to remember it comes with a losing sacrifice, you lose out on the people you gained and you lost the ones who accepted you without change — but because of your greedy mind and wishful thinking, you have nobody at the end of this tunnel if you don’t stick with this mask that made you phenomenal. 

I created this writing as a piece to dedicate to myself & to those who have or once had lived to appease. They lived their lives constantly wanting someone to notice them, wanting to be their friend, wanting to be apart of something grand because for so long they weren’t happy with what they had, even if what they had was pure. Sometimes we want to strive for bigger & better but not always is this the best path, it can come with consequences if you don’t read the small bold print at the bottom of the contract and has its been known to change a person’s character and scar them. For we don’t get to choose who we meet, but if who we meet changes who we are for the worst, than maybe we need to reconsider how we go about letting people in. To appease someone else by changing yourself is like living a life with half truths. Not everyone was meant to like you, the true you, some will deem it “not good enough” ; but what isn’t good enough for them was good enough for those who stayed by your side no matter your flaws. If ONLY one person deemed you “good enough” , that one person is worthy of your love because that one person didn’t ask you to conform but instead asked you to be yourself in exchange for their true selves. We don’t have to unmask ourselves to see the face, we only have to question if who we really are, is the mask we put on everyday. Don’t live to appease, live to be loved and to be cared for 100 percent, live to be you, live to be true and never live to fit in because tears will flood the eyes who have reached their own demise. 

Shay-lon

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