BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 
 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 


But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 


When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 


Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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BEGREATGUYS, Inc post #3

Reward your hard work. 

 

BUT 

 

Don’t depend use your reward against you.

 

In a world where sometimes we need a little motivation and a great deal of discipline to accomplish our goals, we have to find the time to reward our hard work. Yes, I said “hard work” because no matter how long it took you to accomplish something — you still have to put in some form of effort to finish it. I once had someone tell me “I walked a mile today, it isn’t much but it felt good” & my reply to this person was, “walking a mile is a lot because you could have stopped half way, but you continued until you finished”. So no matter what you think is a lot or a little, if you finished it — then you achieved something great. 

 

Rewarding yourself doesn’t have to be something ‘out of this world expensive’ unless you want it to be and doesn’t have to be daily, you can make it a monthly thing or a yearly big event, or something small each week. Rewarding your hard work doesn’t have to be done alone either, share your good news with friends and family and allow them to be apart of your big day! How you choose to reward yourself can be a broad range of things: new running shoes, something new for the bike, weekend vacation with the family, spa day, new fitness clothes from your favorite store, new gym bag, upgraded gym equipment for the garage, etc. The reward is for you to choose and something that will make you happy for accomplishing what you accomplished and keep you motivated to continue doing well for yourself. 

 

On the other side of things, rewarding yourself can be a positive thing gone negative if you aren’t cautious of how you reward your results. Some people may find their reward system may diminish their results/prevent them from further progress. These types of rewards are only benefiting you at the time, but in the long run they ruin what you worked hard for and set you back a couple of notches if you aren’t careful. The type of rewards I am speaking on are: eating a cookie for every mile you accomplish in the day, going to Mcdonalds for dinner on the weekends for eating healthier options during the week, buying clothes that are a size or two smaller to work towards, buying a motorized scooter instead of taking your bike to work, etc. These things are all good rewards in the beginning but these same rewards will work against you in the long term if you aren’t careful. 

For example maybe you decide since you are making so much progress, you will start to buy clothes a size or two smaller so that you have something to work towards each week or month, and while this type of motivation & reward doesn’t sound like such a bad idea upfront, in the long term it can turn into a bad decision because you become obsessed with wanting to fit the clothes and when you don’t feel as though you are making fast enough progress or it becomes a game of “I have had these same pair of jeans for 5 years hoping I would be able to fit them again”; it can start to weigh down on you mentally. Same with wanting to reward yourself with food, in the beginning it might sound like a good idea because you have chosen to cut them out of your life otherwise, but in the long term it can turn into a habit that becomes the delay of your progress. I believe if you want to eat something, do it but paying mind to the amount of it and how it may or may not effect your results is important because you don’t want to work hard for something and then end up losing it all due to your reward system because that same reward system is what is keeping you going in the first place — what sense would it be to have made an accomplishment then throw it all away at the same time.

 

Along side a good reward system would be to have a purpose/ A “Why” so that when the reward system fails you, you can use your purpose to keep you going again — a good purpose/good why, is one that drives you, keeps you grounded and doesn’t leave you with doubt. Sometimes our why’s can take the place of our rewards because our why is the reward.

 

Thank you for reading, please take the time to leave comments, likes, share or reblog, and follow. 

 

This post was in honor of my sponsor #BEGREATGUYS 

check us out at https://begreatguys.com/ and find my personal page at https://begreatguys.com/shay-lon-moss

 

Be sure to use my promo code “Shay” for discounted prices on apparel 🙂 

 
 

Life Happens- More often than NOT.

The day’s go by so fast..

 

Thank you for your continued patience!

 The days have been going by fast lately here in Ohio and so I have been lacking in the blog department a small bit where some of you may have noticed (or now you notice because I told you) lol. That is my fault, I used to be blogging daily, and always commenting and replying back within hours , but now, my schedule has changed some days and I am spending more time studying – Thanksgiving is on its way & my social life has seemingly picked back up since meeting new friends. All of these excuses I listed are taking away time from my blog and so you have seen less post and if you do read them, the quality has been so-so & I totally take the blame for that and that is something I will get back on the right path because good quality articles are important, especially in my situation. 

 

The last thing I want to do is quit the blog or take a long break because I know this blog has done so much good, but I also have realized my reality sometimes doesn’t allow me to blog when I want to, so if it seems like I am skipping days, or weeks – do know this isn’t intentional and no, I am not quitting or ignoring your post/comments, all it means is life has a got a hold of me and I am trying. 

 

With all this being said, some good news.. 

 

I have had a PR of an online website/magazine get in contact with me out of the blue about writing an article for them, so hopefully if all works out, I might be doing that, it has been awhile since I have done an article for someone else. 

 

Secondly, I am looking for guest bloggers who can talk about: Yoga, meditation, and prepping for a marathon. You can choose out of the three which one you are comfortable with because I will want 3 different people anyways. Basically if you are interested in doing a guest post about any one of those three topics, send me an email Shay.moss19@gmail.com and let me know. I will discuss the details with you via email and we will go from there. There will be other opportunities for guest posting on my blog so don’t get hung up if none of these topics are up your alley, because I have over 100 topics written down that I do and ones that will be from someone else, so just keep a look out 🙂  Hope all of you have a wonderful Tuesday! Catch up soon!

 

Shay-lon