365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

6.21.19

Day 32

What makes you lovable?

  • My comical personality and willingness to go out of my way to make people laugh and smile
  • my willingness to help people 
  • my open mindedness and the fact I enjoy trying new things and going to new places
  • The fact I enjoy motivating people and building them up to their true potential
  • the fact I have a good heart, good intentions and love seeing people I care about succeed in life in whatever makes them happiest
  • I am real about things, I don’t tell people what they want to hear, I tell them the truth 
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365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

6.18.19

Day 29

Who do you look up to?

  • There used to be a time I would have a list of people whom I considered role models, including my mom because something about these people made me want to be more like them when I “grew up” but now, when this question comes my way, I don’t list names because I realized the type of people I look up to are those who 
  1. Have done something positive without looking to reap reward or an applause, something positive for others (small or big)
  2. someone who knows what it’s like to struggle for a duration of time; maybe even thought about throwing in the towel but instead of giving up, they managed to overcome their obstacles and make something of themselves & use their growth and journey as a way to teach others and inspire others and give people hope. 
  3. People who have impacted the world in a positive way
  4. those who have worked hard in order to reach success
  5. those who are realist — see the world for what it is and don’t sugar coat things 
  6. people who were against the odds with their back against the wall that continued to fight instead of made into a victim. 
  7. people who choose love over hate in any situation because that’s hard to do when you’ve been through some crap
  8. people who can forgive easily — I struggle with this a lot myself. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

4.29.19

Day 19

What do you want most out of life?

  • True happiness; feeling full of life and all it has to offer in a positive way & to be truly happy with myself without the constant worry of how others will perceive me or think of me; finally, some form of success in a multitude of ways.
What do you want most out of life?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

4.26.19

Day 16

What do you fear most about the future?

  • I fear how far technology will evolve, the increase of crime and criminal matters, not knowing what will come of my future or where I’ll be in life. 

Do you have any fears of the future or what will come of it?

365 Days of Self Discovery: your Wishes/dreams/hopes/future

4.12.19

Day 2

What is one thing you have always wished for?

  • Hmm, possibly love ( a healthy relationship) and some form of financial success. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

3.16.19

Day 9

Where were you, 10 years, 5 years, and 1 year ago?

  • So this is a good question that requires long answers. I will try to keep them semi short for the same of having to read everything but what I wrote down on paper was much longer due to me really getting my thoughts out. 10 years ago, I was 16 years of age, 11th grade, living in Texas for the 2nd year. I had a few friends at this time, and I wasn’t playing basketball anymore due to a certain circumstance that got me kicked off the team the previous year (which I thought was highly unacceptable), but I was still running track and trying to figure my own life out. I wasn’t necessarily happy living in Texas but enjoyed visiting my Uncle and grandfather who lived a ways away in Texas. I wasn’t dating anyone, but I had a few crushes here and there. I was still uncomfortable with my sexuality — because I didn’t quite understand myself but didn’t really think much about it and didn’t reach out to anyone for understanding (I dealt with things alone) I flirted with guys plenty and got a lot of attention from dudes from school who would say vulgar or anticipate that I would have some sort of sexual experience with them (which I did not) the furthest thing I did was texting inappropriately but I had little knowledge on the subject, I was just searching for something & didn’t know what it was. I had good grades in school at this time and I was probably getting the news we would be leaving before I started my senior year to a new state. 
  • 5 years ago, I was 21 years old, happy as hell that I was finally able to drink alcohol legally (although I was drinking it before this) and I was not close to my mom, we would argue and bicker often, I wasn’t close to my younger brother at all, we just didn’t see eye to eye. I was still in denial about my sexuality to other people but I was already out to my mom at age 18 about being bisexual at the time, but wasn’t out about it to certain family members and friends. I was having an internal battle with myself, I don’t think I was in a serious relationship with anyone but I was dating around somewhat & meeting people offline. I had a few experiences here and there with men my age and older but nothing that I want to get into depth about. I was probably out of college (taking a break) but working two jobs at the time and living with a roommate. I didnt have my life together and wasn’t sure where I would end up.
  • 1 year ago, I was 25 years old, my relationship with my mom was shaking but better and my younger brother and me were getting along better as well. I was out in totally by this age and I don’t think I identified as bisexual anymore, so I think I mainly stuck with dating women at this point. Not in a serious relationship, but had pretty much dated around for a while. I was working at the Anytime Fitness gym and working with a company that helped the mentally and physically handicapped. I had already graduated college years prior to this and decided on being a personal trainer as a career choice. I was eager about the future but still dealing with the fact me and my ex had broken up the year previous to this. 
I like to think my life has been a rollercoaster of weird stuff and with all kinds of mistakes and lessons to have been learned from them. I might not still have my life together but I at least know what I want out of life for the most part now compared to then. My relationships with my family now aren’t as bad (although we have our days) but I am busy with two jobs and working on myself more than not, and I want so much for myself, I have put myself first these days and hopefully it pays off. 
 
If you are feeling up to it, share where you were 10 years, 5 years and 1 year ago. If not all three, choose one and share. I know it can be quite the question but the reflection is nice to look back on. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Feelings & Emotions

3.06.19

Day 66

What is your biggest fear? Why do you think you are afraid?

  • My biggest fear(s) are being alone for the rest of my life (dying alone), dying in a traumatic way (car accident, murder, etc). never amounting to something and being at a constant standstill in my life (no investment in buying a house/condo, living paycheck to paycheck, having to work two jobs, not being able to afford traveling, no sense of self growth or accomplishment. 
I assume most people have a fear of something, no matter how big or small. What are your biggest fears — and why?