365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.18.19

Day 59

Is there someone you should be spending less time with?

  • No
Advertisements

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.17.19

Day 58

Is there someone in your life that you should be spending more time with?

  • Yes. 

365 Days of self Discovery: Your Relationships

7.01.19

Day 42

Is there a relationship in your life that you would like to change? How would you change it?

There are a few relationships in my life currently that I would like to change — all of which needed changed years ago but still haven’t reached the point where I am satisfied, more like content because it has improved but not more than a little steps forward and 100 steps backwards. 

  1. The relationship between me and my younger brother (24) — we are 3 years apart so we have grown up together and I feel as though our relationship/bond is not there; it is forced or neglected. I have raised my hand and tried to connect & find a way to bond but he pushes it away or ignores it and it sucks because I think as siblings, we should be a lot closer than what we are & I always hope he will eventually jump on board or at least TRY, but fails to do so for whatever reason. Neither one of us is perfect but our relationship is not healthy– it is more or less a battle that has been going on for years & instead of displaying it for the world to see, we tend to hide it and pretend nothing is wrong– I feel as though he has grown to be more arrogant in general but especially towards me, he feels more superior and thinks everything he says is right, he has the support of my mom (which is another not great relationship I have), he lacks any form of respect towards me as human and finds joy in making me feel like crap most of the time. I’d love to get to the point where we can hang out and really be involved in each others lives but so far it hasn’t happened. 
  2. The relationship between my mom and myself, this one has shown improvement but again not enough where it stays consistent. I feel as though my mom will always have conditions for her love when it comes to me compared to my sibling. It shows and it gets old and my grandmother witnesses it & while I do love my mom and wouldn’t wish anything bad to happen to her, I feel myself steady detaching myself from her and my younger brother & unless something changes between now and the next year, I will find myself without either one of them being apart of my life due to my own choice because I don’t want a relationship like this for the rest of my life, and I need positive supportive people in my life who love me without conditions & don’t have me feeling like I have to constantly prove myself worthy of their love. 
  3. The relationship with one or both of my cousins — we don’t have a relationship really, because we don’t talk besides the holidays and even then, not much is said between us & I want that to change but honestly, I don’t know how I would go about it at this rate because I don’t know if I am willing to make the first move in hopes they take to it. I would agree that I should be the bigger person or TRY but at the same time, I get sick of trying and failing or feeling like I am overextending myself to be let down or made a fool at the end of the road. I think when it comes to this relationship, I would like to see her make the first move and hopefully I am receptive of it in return. 
This was a good question indeed, it really made me analyze the type of relationships I have with my family & friends honestly & it also made me aware of what would need to be done in order for it to be salvaged or maintained in a healthy way. I like to hope by this time next year, all three of these relationships are better and have shown great improvement or steps towards it and I will have positive things to share but I can’t hold my breathe. I don’t like playing victim but at the same time I don’t like taking fault for things that I didn’t choose to do & I would like for my family members to take some form of responsibility in this and at least try to talk about it with me or make some form of change that opens a door for discussion & peace. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Relationships

5.24.19

Day 4

Who would you like to reconnect with & why?

  • My ex Rachel because I really did believe she was my soulmate/is my soulmate and I haven’t seen her in about 2.5 years (well spoken to anyways) and I would love to catch up and see what is new within our lives
  • possibly my dad due to the fact I haven’t seen him since I was 3 years of my age and I had questions and I am curious to know who he is in person 
  • old friends that I used to be close with because at one point those people mattered to me. 

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Dreams/Wishes/Hopes/Future

5.11.19

Day 31

What do you want your legacy to be?

  • Not something I have given thought about personally, but now that the question arises, I suppose I would want my legacy to be something meaningful, positive, and brought some kind of change in a person(s) life or some form of change in the world.
What do you want your legacy to be, or do you not care?

365 Days of Self Discovery: Your Past

4.04.19

Day 28

What were you doing this time, last year?

  • I can’t say 100 percent, but if I were to guess, probably at home in my room either blogging, or watching t.v in bed

365 Days of self Discovery: Your Past

3.18.19

Day 11

What time in your life do you always want to remember?

  • I’d say all the good times. Specifically times I had with loved ones whom past away, the times I have had with old and new friends alike, the times I have spent with my siblings and mom. I’d like to remember the times I have triumphed and the times that I struggled but made it through, I want to remember all the positive that has entered my life and helped shaped me into a better person. There isn’t just one time I would like to remember, because I have had many good times in my life that I will cherish. 
Is there a specific time in your life that you want to always remember or are you like me and have more than one?