BEGREATGUYS Tips #8

USE Your Failures As Strengths 

If you are going to remind yourself of your failures, then make them into strengths. Might as well make them useful and to your benefit. I’d rather you remember the times you failed or gave up in order to push you than to forget about them; only to end up in the same position you are in now: struggling with trying again. We have all been unsuccessful at something (work, fitness, sports, etc) and regardless if it happened in front of many people or in your own privacy — it still sucked nonetheless. Out of anger and frustration, we try again, only to fail once more because instead of using the failure as willpower, we used it to fuel our negative mindset. I can’t promise the voyage will be easy, but I can tell you one thing: it will be useful. 

I am going to share some simple steps to follow so that when the time comes, you have the power to continue:

  1. Don’t do it with anger or malicious intent. In remembering your failures, it can be hard to think that maybe you aren’t great at something, but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better — if you try again in a relaxed, focused state, you will be better off.
  2. Don’t assume the worst before beginning. It’s easy to assume that if we failed once, we are bound to do it again BUT don’t get caught up with that; that leads to anger/frustration & you lose focus on what is important
  3. Have to be willing to accept either path. It isn’t guaranteed that if you try again you will prevail the second time round; you may fail again but the goal is to try again and get better each time. 
  4. Don’t be afraid to fail in front of others. Allowing your pride to get the best of you, will only hinder you. Failing at something in front of somebody doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger. Don’t be worried about what someone may think or say, just worry about producing results
  5. Change your vocabulary. Utilize words that push you: I can, I will, It’s possible, Keep trying , etc. Using negative words can lead to negative thoughts and not so great results. 

For every time I have given up on something, I have regretted it later on. You never know what you are truly capable of, until you have given it all that you have more than enough times to count — Shay-lon

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BEGREATGUYS — Don’t rely on someone

Save some of your motivation from within. 

 

We all need a little bit of a boost to keep going – to know we are headed in the right direction — to keep us accountable — to make us feel good about how far we have come. 

Indeed all of this is true, and I believe having a partner in crime that keeps you focused and disciplined and makes it possible for you to keep going is a great opportunity and needed — because social support is important. On the other hand, relying on your partner in crime, in order to succeed might weigh you down long-term and keep you from exploring outside your comfort level — or prohibit you from taking a leap of faith.  I think too much of a good thing, is just that, too much of a good thing. We need someone to keep us grounded, but when that someone backs down after awhile, we need to know how to use what we have within to keep up from giving up. 

 
 

As a personal trainer, i like to think it is my job to be a cheerleader, role model, knowledgeable professional in the field of fitness/health and an accountability partner that creates workouts and talks to you about what specifically will get you from point A to point B. I love my job and I love that I can build people inside & contribute to their physical changes that make them feel good. I just wonder sometimes if people whom rely on their trainers, realize that at some point, it will be time for you to leave the nest and utilize all the teachings so that you become independent at the gym. Now, I am not against having a long term client because everyone meets their goals at different lengths of time & everyone’s goals are different how they go about them BUT at the same time, when I am relied on, I don’t want it to be so that when and if I go on vacation; my client decides to quit working out until I return. I want my clients to be self sufficient enough that if I should be gone for a short period of time, they can manage on their own. It’s profitable to have a client rely on me, but it doesn’t make me look good when I have a client for years who has yet to reach any of their goals or who has yet to be able to gain enough confidence to workout without me being physically there every waking moment. I don’t want to kick my clients to the curb but I want to know that they are growing independently, building self esteem, and maintaining their success in the process of having me train them & I know it will take time. 


But not only from a trainer perspective but also from a friend/neighbor/spouse/family, etc perspective… 

We shouldn’t allow these people to feel so pressured. Having a friend who comes to the gym with you is fun, motivating and keeps you on your feet but what happens when that person misses a few days? Normally, the first thought is to stop going for a few days as well because you don’t want to workout without them. The motivation you have stems from being able to workout with your friend, so when a friend misses a day or two, that becomes your excuse for missing a day or two. Basically when you realize you aren’t meeting your goals and aren’t seeing results, the blame will fall on your friend because in your mind, because your friend missed a few days– you weren’t able to meet the requirements it takes to meet your goals. Not saying you will legitimately blame them to their face, but when someone ask why haven’t you been attending the gym anymore; it will fall back on your friend — “I normally come when my friend comes, and he hasn’t been able to make it back in so when he feels better or starts back on his normal routine, we will be back”. Nobody should take the blame for your lack of choice to do something, because when it comes down to it, you have the time and the reason for wanting to workout– but you have co-depended on someone for so long in order to workout that when it comes time to come on your own, it’s too intimidating & you make them the excuse. 


When you want something bad enough… 

It should come from within, it should fuel you enough to start and to finish. Having an extra person to root for you is good, but sometimes people don’t root and don’t support, so you have to be prepared to conquer things on your own. Prepare to endure many things on your own, so that if the time should come where you lose that partner in crime or lose that support — it doesn’t prohibit you from continuing on your journey. Life doesn’t always play fair and in order to make the best of the lemons thrown at us, we need to rely on ourselves for the most strength. I am a firm believer that having social support is a wonderful thing, but I stand by that people can either bring you up or weigh you down; you have to stay in control of yourself and not allow someone else to be your driver. 


Anybody can play backseat driver to our choices, but you are the one driving, so the only person who can control your steering wheel is you” — Shay-lon Moss

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Monday Motivation. Dec. 4th

After this weekend, I needed some extra inspiration to get me through and to put my mind at ease so I can refocus my attention on doing better when I retake my exam and not on the failure. Hopefully all of you will enjoy some of these quotes as well. 

 

Fitness WonderWoman,

Shay-lon