365 days of self discovery: Day 49

10.21.18

What is your reaction when you don’t get what you want?

  • Quite a funny question, due to the fact, I like to assume we have all somewhat had this happen & maybe we weren’t happy about it, but I will assume none of through a tantrum? or did we? lol. Well, growing up in my household, my mom always made sure me and my brother had what we need and most of our wants/if not all; so I never knew what it was like to go without something — and when there would be that ONE time where I really wanted something because someone else had it, and my mom failed to get it for me, I just assumed it was because we couldn’t afford it at the time and would try my hardest to not allow it to bother me (but we know people start to ask questions and so sometimes my classmates or teammates would ask me why I don’t have it, or when I would get it) and I would just make up some kind of lie or rather just pretend I didn’t give a shit about it to want it. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn’t & to be honest, I only remember one time of that happening & my coach would then chime in and try to help pay for it (it was a team hoodie) and my mom just didn’t have the funds right away to get it for me, not to mention it wasn’t her only priority and my coach would then ask me about it and after finding out my mom’s reason for me not having it, I don’t remember if my coach helped to afford it or if my mom just ended up paying for it later on.. either way, that probably has been the only time. Regardless, as I got older, I was then taught in order to get something I wanted, I needed to earn it with either getting a job and making money or doing something around the house that was well worthy the prize. At first it was annoying (to be fair, I didn’t get my first job until I was 18) and it wasn’t like my chores were all that hard, I was just being a lazy teen. I was really living a life of luxury, my mom did our laundry and folded our clothes, etc, hell I didn’t have to do my first batch of laundry until I was like 21 or 22  I think? lol so I can’t really say my life was hard, it wasn’t. Anyways, after obtaining my first job, and having paid for something for the first time with my own money, it felt really good to say I could afford something I wanted and then on, I kind of got used to it UNTIL I quit my job by not showing up for work & my mom didn’t find out til like later on and yeah, so I have to say, I also didn’t particularly want to work but somewhere down the line I ended up getting another job and keeping it much longer. Now that I much older than I was, and don’t rely on my mom for finances; I have had to endure things that humbled me to the point where I had to make certain sacrifices in order to obtain something I wanted, and with those experiences came a better attitude and means of handling things when I don’t get what I want. Sometimes I will still get frustrated or upset depending on the situation but many times, I shrug it off and move on.  
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365 days of self discovery: Day 42

How would you change the world?

  1. I’d make it a place where people could feel safe being who they are without feeling as though there will be consequences or judgement rendered (i.e prevent bullying, body shaming, make places more LGBTQ friendly and open minded, etc)
  2. I’d make treatment for diseases and health conditions more affordable so that everyone could afford treatment without worrying about debt, or losing everything they have (cancers, STDS/HIV, bone & heart conditions, etc) 
  3. I’d have wages match the cost of living everywhere so that people could better afford their living circumstances & it could cut down on homelessness and hunger
  4. I’d spread the importance of exercise and have health providers give fitness counceling to patients (cardiovascular test, muscular test, etc) cutting down on the deaths of inactivity and spreading awareness. 
  5. I’d make better suited laws against rape, molestation, sexual assault, domestic violence, so that families could get the justice they deserved and the victim could feel safe after their attack. 
  6. Pedophiles would not be released , they would be held accountable for the rest of their lives for the crime(s) they commit. 
  7. I’d make college education more affordable by either allowing one year free of tuition (undergrad students) or lessen the cost of education so that more people could afford to get their college education without sinking into debt by the time they graduate or worse, having to drop out because they can no longer afford their education. 
  8. I’d have schools better guarded so that when mass shootings erupt, the students can feel more at ease, and have a better plan of action for each school in case something like this does happen for all grades. 
  9. I’d pay actors and professional athletes less money (instead of millions) maybe I would make sure they still got paid for their talents but not paid to the point where they make more money than some other important professions, I think 6 digits would be comfortable and still be fair vs having some of these athletes & actors being paid millions per contract or commercial, etc. I want the pay structure to still compliment their talents and effort but not exceed a certain amount of money to keep things reasonable. 

These are just some of which I would change, I have a whole listful of things I would want to change that would hopefully be for the better and help many people. As for you, what would you want to change about the world?

It’s Amazing What Your Happiness Can do

The title alone is built on a situation I endured at this new job (not a job I intend on staying long at, but one that will help me save up more money so that I can eventually move next year to the bigger city). This situation happened about a week ago, but it carried on for another week (unintended) and not to due to myself, but due to other people’s motives and emotions and lack of understanding of the matter. I suppose every good lifestyle blogger has to write about something real .. or “happening” & so I will make this new blog category worth your while as much as possible because I want to make sure it comes off real and gives you a sense of who I am but at the same time opens up conversation if need be. 

People tend to enjoy the depressed and upset ones — they find them vulnerable and weak and assume that if they are already at their low, it would be easy to keep them there. That’s what one of my co-workers assumed; and I finally decided instead of being pissed off and shitty towards people, I would instead be seemingly nice, and ignore the co-workers gestures and snide comments to belittle me (all in the name of situation that didn’t involve him in the first place or effect him) but in due time I decided to make my manager aware of the things this co-worker was doing to get a rise out of me, and after the manager had a good old conversation with him, I imagine he just became more bitter towards me and would continue to be an asshole towards me. That’s when I decided to change my perspective and give myself a better setting; I decided to smile and talk to people and ignore the co-worker’s ignorance and continue to do well at work. When this co-worker seen how many people were talking to me again and how I was not effected by his low blows & belittling comments, he finally felt compelled to apologize for offending me and making me feel uncomfortable. I think back to the fact that I was angry because of how many people were being rude towards me due to a situation that occurred that was blown out of proportion but because people listen to rumors instead of truths, they didn’t want to see my side of things when it happened. I started to ignore people, not smile and show no personality at work just to get through the shift because it was upsetting me having to endure such unkindness & that made my life worse because then people would continue to be rude towards me back and more unkind or unwilling to speak to me. After many efforts of being negative, I decided to come to work with a new attitude and in my surprise it worked for me, people were kind, willing to chat and very receptive towards me and the drama that occurred in the first place seemed forgotten for the time being. 

The moral of the story is, when I chanced coming to work with a bright mind & attitude, and started talking to people, it changed their attitude towards me & it gave someone a reason to apologize when they seen I was no longer going to allow them to affect me and my mood. I can’t say everyone was genuine, but it made work more enjoyable to pretend that they were. 

Starting a new job is never always an easy task (I have now been there 60 days and close to 90 days at the end of this month) a 2nd job that I got to help me save up more money for moving next year. I am not someone who enjoys drama and when you work with people who feed off drama, it can make work challenging at times and make you a bitter person, but I have learned that sometimes instead of being bitter and having a negative mindset — changing over to a better perspective, smiling and being friendly can make a whole lot of a difference. Food for thought. 

9.19.18 Macro’s log

12AM (work/snack)

  • Kroger carb master yogurt (raspberry) Calories 70, Carbs 5g, Fats 1.5g, Protein 9g

2AM (work/lunch)

  • Kroger fresh baked bread (0.25 loaf) Calories 269, Carbs 55.8g, Fats 1.9g, Protein 11.5g
  • Kroger southwestern dressing, lite (1 TBSP) Calories 70, Carbs 3g, Fats 7g, Protein 0g
  • Kroger white sweet onion; Calories 6, Carbs 1.3g, Fats 0g, Protein 0.1g
  • Sliced Swiss Cheese (1 slice) Calories 110, Carbs 1g, Fats 8g, Protein 9g
  • Kroger Mesquite roasted turkey (2 oz) Calories 50, Carbs 0g, Fats 0g, Protein 11g
  • Hellman’s lite may (2 TBSP) Calories 70, Carbs 2g, Fats 7g, Protein 0g
  • Kroger Hard Salami (2 slices) Calories 60, Carbs 0.5g, Fats 5g. Protein 2.5g

2:30PM (lunch)

  • Frosted Flakes cereal (2 cups) Calories 110, Carbs 27g, Fats 1g, Protein 1g
  • Kroger 2% milk (1 cup) Calories 120, carbs 12g, fats 5g, protein 8g

5:30PM (snack/work)

  • Oreo cookies (3 cookies) Calories 160, Carbs 25g, fats 7g, protein 1g

8PM (Dinner)

  • City blends ‘rush hour mocha’ protein shake (24 oz) Calories 525, Carbs 84g, Fats 6g, Protein 28g
  • Kroger creamy peanut butter (1 TBSP) Calories 90, Carbs 3.5g, Fats 7.5g, Protein 3.5g

Total Calories: 1710 (under goal)

Total Carbs: 220.1g (over by .1 g)

Total fats: 56.9g (over)

Total protein: 84.6g (under goal)

Dining out at chipotle 9.18.18

12AM (Work/Snack)

  • Kroger Carb Master Yogurt (Blended Strawberry) Calories 60, Carbs 4g, Fats 1.5g and protein 8g

2AM (Work/Lunch)

  • Kroger fresh baked bread (.25 loaf) Calories 269, Carbs 55.8, Fats 1.9g, Protein 11.5g
  • White sweet onion Calories 6, Carbs 1.3g, Fats 0g, Protein 0.1g
  • Sliced Swiss cheese (1 slice) Calories 110, Carbs 1g, Fats 8g, protein 9g
  • Kroger Mesquite Roasted Turkey (2 oz) Calories 50, Carbs 0g, Fats 0g, Protein 11g
  • Hellman’s light mayo (2 TBSP) Calories 70, Carbs 2g, Fats 7g, Protein 0g
  • Kroger Hard Salami (2 slices) Calories 60, Carbs 0.5g, Fats 5g, Protein 2.5g
  • Kroger Southwestern ranch, lite (2 TBSP) Calories 70, Carbs 3g, Fats 7g, Protein 0g

9:45AM (Breakfast)

  • Frosted Flakes cereal (2 cups) Calories 110, Carbs 27g, Fats 1g, Protein 1g 
  • Kroger 2% milk (1 cup) Calories 120, Carbs 12g, Fats 5g, Protein 8g

2:30PM (Lunch)

  • Frosted Flakes cereal (0.25 cups) 2X Calories 56, Carbs 13.6g, Fats 0.6g, Protein 0.6g
  • Kroger 2% milk (1 cup) Calories 120, Carbs 12g, Fats 5g, Protein 8g

7:30PM (Dinner)

  • Chipotle steak bowl 
  • Double white cilantro rice; Calories 370, Carbs 68g, Fats 8g, Protein 7g
  • Double Black beans; Calories 240, Carbs 44g, Fats 2g, Protein 14g
  • Steak; Calories 190, Carbs 2g, Fats 6.5g, Protein 30g
  • Green medium salsa; Calories 20, Carbs 4g, Fats 0g, Protein 0.5g
  • Red hot salsa; Calories 25, Carbs 4g, Fats 1g, Protein 1g
  • Cheese; Calories 100, Carbs 1g, Fats 7.5g, Protein 6g
  • Sour Cream; Calories 115, Carbs 1g, Fats 9.5g, Protein 2g

Total Calories: 2133 (over) 

Total Carbs: 256.2g (over) 

Total Fats: 76.5g (over)

Total Protein: 120.2g (under)

Overall,I was over on my goals but not including the calories I burned from exercise. I didn’t feel any extra weight gain or a difference after consuming that many calories; but this means I will be more aware of my intake the rest of the week. 

9.11.18 Macro’s log

12AM Work snack:

  • Kroger Carb master Yogurt (Strawberry): Calories 60, Carbs 4g, Fats 1.5g and protein 8g
  • Kroger Simply classic trailmix (13 pieces) Calories 150, Carbs 14g, Fats 10g, and protein 4g

2AM Work Lunch:

  • 2 cheeseburgers (bbq) with mayo, ketchup, yellow mustard, 2 hot dogs with ketchup & yellow mustard and chopped onions
  • Potato salad 
  • Bottled water 

This was provided due to it being employee appreciation week. I could not record any macro’s for this meal

6:30PM Dinner @ Home

  • Ramen noodle, white rice, sriracha sauce, fried eggs, fresh green beans, broccoli, white onion, white fresh mushrooms, beef homemade stir fry

Could not provide macro’s for this meal.

9:30PM (Snack @ work)

  • 2 Hamburgers with mayo, velveeta cheese slices, and ketchup

No macro’s recorded. 

As you can tell, the whole day was full of carbs and protein, lol and fats. Not the best options for fats but carbs and and protein was g